All Comin' Up Roses
by MelanieJan
Summary: It's four and a half years after graduation. Where are the Tree Hill graduates now? Have all their wildest dreams come true? AU after season four finale. Some of the storylines will be similar others will be drastically different. Naley, eventually Brucas
1. Better Days

Title: All Comin' Up Roses

Summary: It's four and a half years after graduation. Where are the Tree Hill graduates now? Have all their wildest dreams come true? Au after season four finale. Some of the storylines will be similar, others will be drastically different. Naley, eventually Brucas with some Leyton thrown in there and various other pairings.

Disclaimer: I do not own OTH or any of its characters. You can sue me if you really want to, you'll get a penny and Starbucks card with five cents left on it. The lyrics aren't mine either, they belong to Kate Voegele and are the lyrics to 'Better Days'.

AN: Hope you enjoy the story. I've got the first couple chapters written already. I apologize if they're out of character or there are any mistakes, I tried to catch everything. And the main focus of the fic will probably be on Brooke and Rachel's lives, because they're my favourite two characters from OTH.. and well... from a lot of the tv shows I watch.

* * *

"_**Live life for the moment, 'cause everything else is uncertain. Take advantage of what's right in front of you."**_

_**~ Rachel Gatina**_

Rachel pulled the duffle bag out of the trunk of her rental car, before slamming it shut. She headed up to the front door of the house she'd come to know well. Over the years since graduation things had changed a lot. Everyone she'd known was different in some way, even herself. Some of the changes weren't as noticeable as others though, but that didn't change the fact that everyone had grown up to a certain extent.

Reaching into her pocket, Rachel pulled out the house keys and unlocked the front door. As she stepped inside, she dropped her duffle bag on the floor, and closed the door. "Hey Luke! You here!?" She called out as she moved through the small house.

Walking down the hall, Rachel paused at Lucas' bedroom door and knocked before opening it. "Oh!" she gasped when she saw the scene in front of her. Lucas Scott was naked, and apparently not alone. "Sorry." She said making no attempt to move away from the door.

"Rachel! Get out of here!" Lucas exclaimed pulling his comforter over himself and the woman he was with.

Rachel smirked. "Right, I'll let the two of you finish up...while I get something to eat." She stepped out of the room, and closed the door behind her. Brooke wasn't going to be happy about this. As much as Brooke denied it, she was still in love with the guy; that much Rachel knew. She also knew Peyton was still madly in love with him. The drama of high school would truly never end, especially with the possibility of the Brooke-Lucas-Peyton love triangle creeping back up.

The first place Rachel went to in the kitchen was the coffee pot. It was still pretty early in the day, and she needed more caffeine pumping through her system- especially after waking up at five in the morning to catch her flight.

As Rachel finished setting up the coffee pot, she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She slipped her hand in and retrieved her phone, looking at the call display. With a smirk on her face, she answered, "Hey slut."

"So I take it you landed safely."

"Not a broken bone on me." Rachel replied, as she opened the fridge door.

"It's good to know, what, an hour after you landed?"

Rachel raised an eyebrow as she held her cell phone to her ear and dug through the fridge. "I'm sorry mom; I didn't realize you wanted me to call you when I landed in Tree Hill." She shook her head. "What's with the sudden interest in when I get somewhere? You've never cared before, Brooke."

"That's because usually you call without me having to ask you to." It was true, Rachel couldn't deny it. Whenever she got to Tree Hill, or any other place for that matter, in the past she'd call Brooke. More out of boredom than a need to let her know she arrived in one piece. "And I've gotten use to it. You can't just stop doing something after years of doing it."

"Sure you can." Rachel replied, pulling out what looked like leftover lasagna. "It's called being unpredictable."

"Well...stop it."

Rachel laughed, as she put the leftover lasagna onto a plate, and put the plate into the microwave. It was hard to do everything one handed. "How are the designs coming along?"

The response she received from Brooke was a groan.

"That bad, huh?"

"No." Brooke sighed. "The designs aren't the problem. My mother is."

"She's trying to take over again isn't she? Just tell her to back off."

"It's not that easy, Rach. So where's my nephew?"

Of course Brooke would try to change the subject. She was never willing to talk about things involving her mother. "Your nephew isn't here yet. He's still with his dad, because I took an earlier flight than usual."

"Only because you were trying to avoid my mom."  
"Exactly." Rachel replied with a smile. "And, I'll make sure your nephew calls you when he gets here."

"Thank you."

Rachel could picture the grin on Brooke's face. "You're welcome, slut. But I'm gonna go eat some of Luke's food, I'll talk to you later."

"Bye bitch."

Rachel snapped her cell phone shut, and put it back in her pocket. How was she going to tell Brooke about Lucas' apparent girlfriend? Or maybe she was just a fling. If the girl she'd seen with him was just a fling, then she wouldn't have to tell Brooke about her. God, how she hoped that was the case. She pulled the now warm, leftover lasagna out of the microwave and sat down at the table. As she waited for the coffee to finish brewing she started eating the lasagna. It wasn't too bad; she just didn't want to know how long it had been sitting in the fridge.

_On the borderline  
__Playing overtime  
__Pushed the minute to the limit for a long time  
__And the second I cross the finish line  
__I'll be wishing I had listened to the voice inside  
__I can't remember how it feels  
__To know which seeds I ought to sew_

Lucas walked out of his room, Lindsey close behind him. The two made their way into the kitchen to find a smirking Rachel sitting at the table with a coffee in hand. "What? Forget it was my weekend?" She questioned, smirk still in place.

"No." Lucas replied, shaking his head. "You're just usually not here till later in the day."

Rachel shrugged. "I took an early flight." Her gaze moved over to Lindsey. "So, Luke gonna introduce me to your girlfriend?"

"This is Lindsey Strauss. Lindsey, this is Rachel Gatina."

"It's nice to meet you Rachel." Lindsey extended her hand out, and Rachel took it with slight hesitation.

"Yeah. You too." Rachel replied. She glanced at Lucas. "So when's Jayden getting here?"

"Same time as usual." Lucas shrugged. "Just because you took an early flight here it doesn't mean everyone's going to change their schedules."

Rachel responded with an eye roll before standing up. "I'm gonna go get settled, leave the two of you alone." She walked over to the sink and put her mug in it. She'd wash it later, or just leave it for Lucas to wash. Both options were very likely. "And if you guys are gonna have more sex, could you please turn on your stereo or something?" She smiled at them before disappearing into the living room.

Lindsey looked at Lucas. "She seems nice."

"She has her days." Lucas replied with a small laugh. He got down two mugs from the cupboard and poured both Lindsey and himself some coffee. "If I'd known she was going to be early, I would have warned you, and locked my bedroom door."

"It's okay, Luke. A little embarrassing, but it's okay." Lindsey smiled at him.

Lucas handed her a coffee and kissed her. "I'm still sorry about it."

"Well, at least she's not an ex-girlfriend of yours." Lindsey said with a shrug. "Though, I do find it odd that she stays with you."

"I know." Lucas sighed. "I'm not sure how it worked out the way it did. I kind of just got pulled into the middle of all of it."

"You're a good guy for helping your friends out."

"In all honesty? I wasn't really friends with either of them when the whole thing started. Brooke's the one who talked me into helping."

Lindsey nodded, and Lucas knew what was going through her head. The fact he'd done a favour for Brooke, one of his ex-girlfriends. Lindsey knew the story of his relationship with Brooke, and the story of his relationship with Peyton. A lot of the knowledge she had came from his book. She'd been the editor after all, it made sense she'd learn things about his life from the book. Lucas knew, that because of this knowledge she worried. Apparently, she worried mostly about Peyton's return to his life. She was afraid he'd leave her for one of his exes, at least that was what Haley had told him one night weeks ago. He'd gone straight to Lindsey and let her know she had nothing to worry about. He loved her. Both Brooke and Peyton were in his past.

"And you're friends with them now?" Lindsey questioned.

Lucas shrugged and took a drink of his coffee. As weird as it was he considered himself to be a good friend to the two of them now that he'd actually gotten to know them. He guessed in a way he'd been friends with Rachel, it was just a weird friendship. "You could say that."

_It's an ordinary feeling  
__An extraordinary reason  
__I've seen better days  
__I would love to say I'm ready  
__Just to tell you where I'm headed  
__I've seen better days_

The apartment was quiet. A little too quiet for Brooke's liking. It was driving her crazy, and making it hard to concentrate on her designs. Sighing, she got up from the couch she'd been sitting on and moved over to the stereo. Hooking up her iPod she put it on shuffle and sat back down. As the music filled the apartment she picked up the blank sketch pad and stared at it. The music wasn't helping much.

Her gaze moved from the sketchpad to the bookshelf, which was lined with pictures and books. There was a picture of her and Jamie from a couple months back when Nathan and Haley brought him for a visit. There was a picture of Rachel and Jayden from last Christmas. There were also a few pictures of herself and Lucas, and group shots of her friends.

There were days Brooke wished she was back in high school, where she could spend as much time as she wanted with her friends. She wished she could still be in high school where things had been so much easier and the only deadlines she had were to do with papers and tests. High school was easy. The real world was bloody hard.

Brooke looked up when she heard the door open. There were only two people, other than herself, with keys. Her mother and Rachel. Seeing as Rachel was out of town for the weekend, it only left her mother. Why she'd given her mother a key, Brooke couldn't really figure out.

"Why aren't you at the office?" Her mother questioned, coming to stand behind the couch, arms crossed.

"There are less distractions here." Brooke replied. "It's easier to work on my designs."

"Well, have you done anything?"

Brooke was silent for a moment. Her mother seemed to care more about her work, than she ever had cared about her school work. "Not quite."

Her mother shook her head. "I don't know what you think you're doing Brooke. If you're not careful this company will go under, and you'll have nothing."

There were so many things Brooke could say. So many things she wanted to say, but she opted for, "I know."

"You can't let this company fall apart, Brooke. We've worked too hard to build it up to this."

"Mom, if you want to keep this company from falling apart, you should leave me alone so I can work on these designs." Brooke said calmly looking up at her mother.

"I expect to see you at the office this afternoon." Her mother said, slightly brushing off what Brooke had said. "We need to go over the next issue of the magazine."

"Don't worry, I'll be there." Brooke sighed. Great. Just what she wanted to do. Why had she let her mother talk her into a magazine? Oh, right. Lucas. It was her way of burying herself into her work to forget him after he'd met up with her.

"Good. And you're going to have to fire that friend of yours."

Brooke looked up. "What? I'm not going to do that."

"She needs to go. It's the only way to improve this company further. We can't work photoshoots around her schedule all the time."

"We don't." Brooke said, putting the sketch pad down and standing up, to look at her mother better.

"Brooke, we've rescheduled photoshoots so that she could go to that hick town plenty of times."

"She has a son in Tree Hill, mom. "

"Then maybe she should stay there. Fire her, and she can go stay with her son, seeing as he's more important to her than doing the photoshoots when we need them to be done."

Brooke couldn't believe her mother. Was she really saying this? "Are you serious, mother? I can't fire her, she's good at what she does and she needs the money to help raise her son."

"If she was smart she wouldn't have had a child so young in the first place." Her mother replied. "If you fire her Brooke, we can make this company a lot better. And it's not just the rescheduling of the photoshoots that concern me. It's the things I've been hearing about her, and trying to keep out of the tabloids."

"What things?"

"That's none of your concern. Just fire her Brooke. If you don't I will."

Brooke watched her mother turn and leave the apartment. How would firing one of the best models they had make the company better? Her mother just didn't like Rachel. She hadn't liked her since the day they met. Brooke was pretty sure her mother looked at Rachel as a bad influence. After all Rachel got pregnant during the beginning of her career when she was nineteen-years-old. Honestly though? If that was the reason her mother thought Rachel was a bad influence, then Haley must be a horrible one. She'd been married at sixteen and pregnant at eighteen.

Sitting back down on the couch, Brooke glanced over at the sketch pad. She needed to get out of New York. She needed to find her inspiration somewhere else. Reaching out, she picked her cell phone up off of her coffee table and dialled a familiar number. "Millicent? Hey, could you book me a one way ticket to Tree Hill, North Carolina?"

_Walking on a wire over burning fire  
__People pressure while I  
__Question what to do with my life  
__Let myself rewind to another time  
__When tomorrow used to follow a command of some kind  
__I don't want no pity  
__All I really need is a steady peace of mind sometimes_

Haley walked up to Lucas' front door, Jamie and Jayden walking slowly in front of her. "Can I ring?" Jayden questioned, looking back at her with big brown eyes, as they got to the door.

"Sure you can." Haley smiled at the little boy, who grinned and jumped up to hit the door bell. When he couldn't quite reach it, Haley lifted him up. He hit the button and has grin grew wider as the bell sounded inside. Haley put him back down as they waited for Lucas to answer the door. Usually, Haley just let herself in, but today she felt like doing something different. Give him a little warning.

It didn't take long for the front door to open and reveal Lucas. "Uncle Luke!" Jamie grinned.

"J. Luke! Jay! Two of my favourite guys." Lucas smiled, picking them both up.

"I rang." Jayden informed him, proud of himself.

"You did? That's awesome buddy." Lucas said moving out of the doorway to let Haley in. "I thought-"

Haley cut him off, knowing exactly what Lucas was going to say. "He dropped Jayden off this morning for a little play date with Jamie and asked me to drop Jayden off here after lunch for him. I think he's trying extra hard to avoid Rachel, after their almost run in last time." She shook her head. "Jayden's things are out in the car. I'll grab them later." She walked into the house as Lucas put the boys down.

Jayden looked up at Lucas. "Mommy here?"

"Yup, she's in the living room waiting to see you." Lucas replied.

Jayden grinned and ran as fast as his little legs could carry him. "Mommy!"

Haley followed with Lucas and Jamie, and watched from the doorway as Rachel got up from the couch and swept Jayden up in her arms. "There's my baby boy." Rachel smiled. "I missed you."

"I miss you too." Jayden replied snuggling closer to Rachel. "But me no baby anymore."

"You're not? Then what are you?" Rachel questioned looking down at her son.

It honestly amazed Haley. This wasn't the Rachel Gatina she remembered from high school. It wasn't the girl that tried to steal her husband. It wasn't the girl that swept into Tree Hill bringing drama with her. No. She was more grown up now.

"Me a big boy." Jayden stated.

"A big boy, huh?" Rachel sounded amused. "Like daddy?"

Jayden shook his head. "Not yet. Me a big boy like Jamie."

"You may be a big boy like Jamie, but you'll always be my baby boy." Rachel said before glancing in Haley's direction. "Hey, tutor-girl." She said, using one of Brooke's nicknames for her. "How's Nathan? He ready to leave you for me yet?" And there was the Rachel Haley knew and loathed.

Haley just shook her head. It always seemed to be the same when she saw Rachel. "Never going to happen, Rachel."

"I know." Rachel smiled. "It's just fun to push your buttons."

"Momma?" Haley felt a tug at her pants and looked down.

"Yeah, Jamie?" She asked with a smile.

"Can I stay at uncle Luke's until dinner time?"

"You have to ask your uncle Luke that." Haley replied.

"Uncle Luke?" Jamie turned to face Lucas. "Can I stay here until dinner time?"

"Of course you can buddy. You, me and Jayden can play video games."

"Just no junk food please." Haley interjected. "Last time, someone didn't eat their dinner because they were full of chips and ice cream."

"Sorry Hales. I'll make sure that doesn't happen again." Lucas said smiling at her, and Haley knew the chances of that were pretty slim.

_It's an ordinary feeling  
__An extraordinary reason  
__I've seen better days  
__I would love to say I'm ready  
__Just to tell you where I'm headed  
__I've seen better days_

"Hello?" Peyton spoke into the phone, her voice rough with sleep. It was still early, when Peyton had decided to call it a night. She was worn out from work. Being assistant to the assistant was a pain the ass. She was running errands, and doing other things that probably weren't in her job title. The past couple days, she'd been called in so many times, sleep had been near impossible. Now, when she'd finally decided to try to catch a couple hours, her phone rings.

"I didn't wake you did I?" The voice on the other end asked.

"No, Brooke. I was just lying here." Peyton lied, not wanting her friend to feel bad for waking her up. It had taken them awhile but they were finally pretty good friends again.

"Good." Peyton could almost hear the smile on her friend's face. "I've got great news."

Peyton sat up in bed, and leaned back against the head board. "And what's this great news, ?"

"We are going to Tree Hill, ." Brooke sounded extremely excited.

"Good for you." Peyton paused, as she thought about what Brooke had just said. "Wait. Did you just say 'we'?"

"Yes I did. At first I was just going to go, but I figured you could use the trip back home too."

_Home_. Peyton hadn't thought of Tree Hill, North Carolina as home in four years. Everyone had gone their own ways, tried to pursue their dreams. Sure, some of her friends remained in Tree Hill, but her father wasn't there and things were different now. People were different. "I don't know, Brooke." She sighed. "I've got work, and life here in LA."

"You are seriously going to stick around LA and continue working at a place you hate?" Brooke questioned. "Look, I'm not asking you to quit or anything, just take a couple days off and meet me in Tree Hill. We all said we'd meet four years after graduation, and it's almost been four and a half years. Our reunion is long overdue."

Peyton thought about it. When it came to Brooke, there was usually no saying no. Maybe if she went, she could win back Lucas. Every day she regretted her answer to his proposal. Someday. Someday was not an answer when someone was asking you to marry them. "Okay." She replied quietly. Knowing she may regret this.

"Really?" Brooke's voice was cheerful.

"Yes." Peyton paused. "If I can get a couple days off work that is."

"If they don't give you time off, quit."  
"I don't think that's an option Brooke. It's a good paying job, I can't let it go."

"Sure you can," Brooke replied. "And I can give you a job at my company."

"Brooke, quitting my job would be like you firing your mom."

Brooke was silent for a few minutes. "It's not the same, but I'll let it go. I leave tomorrow afternoon, call me later once you know if you can get time off. Maybe I can change my ticket so that we can meet up at the airport and cab it to the hotel, or maybe we can stay with Naley."

Peyton shook her head knowing that Brooke was avoiding the topic of her mother. "We'll see. I'll call you later, alright? Bye Brooke."

"Bye Peyton. If you don't call me by tomorrow morning, I'll harass you through the phone."

Peyton laughed. "Alright, I'll keep that in mind. Talk to you later." She hung up and threw her phone on the night stand before lying back down on the bed. She'd call later and see about taking time off, and call Brooke bright and early as payback for waking her up. For now, she'd try to get back to sleep.

_Take your time and I'll take mine  
__Why did I ever try to compromise  
__This thing called life can be so unkind  
__Why did I put mine on the line  
__Well better days were on their way_

Nathan wrapped his arms around Haley from behind and kissed her cheek. He loved her so much. Sometimes he wondered how he'd been lucky enough to end up with her. She'd stuck by him through so much in the past few years.

Haley turned in his arms to face him, and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Jamie in bed?" She questioned looking up at him with a smile.

"Yeah, he's just waiting for you to go upstairs and say goodnight to him." Nathan replied.

"I'll do that in a minute." She smiled, before kissing him. "Have I told you how much I love you?"  
Nathan smiled. "Not enough today."

"Well, then, I love you Nathan Royal Scott." She grinned and kissed him again.

"I love you too Haley James Scott." He whispered against his lips, as he pulled her closer.

"Always."

"And Forever."

A couple months ago there'd been a period of time that he'd closed himself off and barley talked to Haley, Jamie and everyone else. He'd gotten into a bar fight over something stupid, and ended up in a state of depression. He had barely moved from the couch. It was Jamie who inevitably broke through his barrier, and showed him how wrong he'd been to do that. Now, a couple weeks later, everything felt right again. Him and Haley were back on track, and Jamie was once again proud of him.

Haley kissed him again, before pulling back. "I should probably go upstairs and say goodnight to Jamie before he comes wandering down here looking for me."

"I'll come with you, and say goodnight again. Then, we can continue this in the bedroom."

Haley laughed and shook her head. "It'll have to wait; I've got dishes to finish doing."

"We have a dishwasher though."

"I've got to rinse the dishes off before I put them in the dishwasher."

"I'll do them in the morning."  
"You've said that once before, and they didn't get done. The pile just grew." Haley replied, a smile playing on her lips.

Nathan shook his head. "Won't happen again. I promise."

"How about this- I go say goodnight to Jamie, and while I do that, you deal with the dishes for me. And if they're done, then we can continue this in the bedroom." Haley reasoned.

Nathan thought about it. "I think it sounds like a plan."

Haley nodded. "Good. But you need to rinse the plates off before they go in the dishwasher, otherwise they won't clean right."

"Okay, don't worry, I'll rinse them." Nathan replied, giving her one last quick kiss before letting her go. "Now, go say goodnight to our son."

Haley smiled before leaving the room. Nathan watched her head upstairs, before he turned to the small pile of dishes in the sink and started to rinse and put them in the dishwasher.

He couldn't ask for anything more in life. Haley and Jamie were his everything. She he missed basketball, but that was only part of his life. His family would always be there. They were a constant that could make a bad day so much better. Basketball may be gone for now, but Haley and Jamie were there and that was all that mattered to Nathan.

_It's an ordinary feeling  
__An extraordinary reason  
__I've seen better days  
__I would love to say I'm ready  
__Just to tell you where I'm headed  
__I've seen better days_


	2. Home

"_**Missing someone gets easier every day because even though it's one day further from the last time you saw each other, it's one day closer to the next time you will."  
**__**~ Peyton Sawyer**_

Peyton sat on her bed unmoving. Had she really done that last night? Had it all been some weird dream? Peyton played over the events of the night before in her head. After she'd gotten off of the phone with Brooke she'd curled up and fallen asleep only to be woken up by a call from work. They needed her to type up some papers and take part in a meeting (all she'd pretty much done was taken notes). After the meeting, tired and worn out, she'd asked for a week or so off. Her boss' reply was a big no. She'd argued with him, and then...quit.

Had she really quit her job?

It looked like she'd be able to go to Tree Hill now. She'd be able to stay a lot longer than a week. This was great- in a not so happy way.

Peyton got up from her bed after a moment and started to pack a bag for her trip 'home'. She was going to have to figure things out, and she'd take the week to do that. Peyton didn't really plan on telling anyone about quitting her job. She didn't want to deal with that right now. She'd prefer to forget about it for awhile.

As she packed Peyton grabbed her cell phone from the nightstand beside her bed and sent a quick text message to Brooke. The message contained the time of her flight, which she'd booked late last night after she got back to her apartment. She sent a text message to Brooke instead of calling her because she just didn't have the energy to talk on the phone.

Once she'd finished packing her bag, she sat down on her bed again. Peyton leaned over to the nightstand and opened the drawer. She pulled a sketch pad and various other things out of it, before leaning against the head board of her bed and getting comfortable. She had some time to kill, and sketching always helped her think things through. It always helped her get her thoughts out.

Maybe quitting her job wouldn't turn out to be a bad thing. Maybe it'd end up being one of the best decisions she'd ever made. Brooke had been right last night, she hated the job. Who wanted to stick around a job they hated for the rest of their life? Peyton had thought it'd been a great idea to take the job, because it was a step in the right direction to getting the job of her dreams. But, she was nowhere close to her dream job. Instead she was stuck doing grunt work, and it looked like she might be stuck with it. At least, it looked like she'd be stuck with it until she quit her job.

_Another summer day  
__Has come and gone away  
__In Paris and Rome  
__But I wanna go home_

Lucas sat at his kitchen table with a mug full of coffee in his hand. Lindsey had headed back to New York for the weekend to deal with a few things at her father's publishing company. He'd driven her to the airport nice and early which left him awake for the most part now.

"You're up early."

He looked up to see Rachel walking into the kitchen. "I had to drive Lindsey to the airport." He told her as he watched her help herself to a cup of coffee.

"You and Lindsey, huh? How long has that been going on for?" Rachel questioned, sitting across from him at the table.

"About a year now."

"A year? Seriously? And I'm only now finding out about it?" Rachel looked slightly confused. "I've been here every second weekend for the past year and a half, how could I not know you had a girlfriend?"

"Because I usually met up with her in New York, and whenever she was here in Tree Hill, before now, you weren't."

"And you never thought of telling me you had a girlfriend?"

Lucas shrugged. "You never asked."

"Does Brooke know?" Rachel questioned.

"Not really, no." Lucas replied, not really sure why Rachel was curious about whether or not Brooke knew about Lindsey. He knew he mentioned Lindsey a few times to Brooke, but he handed flat out told her they were in a relationship.

Rachel just shook her head and took a sip of her coffee.

"So, why are you up this early? Jayden's not up yet, I thought for sure you'd sleep in given the chance."

"I'm use to being up early with him." Rachel replied. "He sleeps longer than he use to, and it's throwing me off. I'm use to getting up with him and watching early Saturday morning cartoons." She paused, and wrinkled her nose. "God, I never thought I'd hear myself say that."

Lucas laughed. "I never thought _I'd_ hear you say that."

"Life's funny isn't it?" Rachel looked up at him, and he could see sincerity in her eyes. "I mean, all my life I told myself I didn't want a family. I didn't want to end up like my mother or father. I just wanted to live my life, have fun, and see where the road took me." She bit her lip and looked down at the mug clasped between her hands. "I told Brooke once that she'd be a horrible mother, because we're destined to be like our own parents. I honestly thought my words were true, and then I got pregnant, and I realized I'd been so wrong."

Rachel looked up and smiled at Lucas. "Jayden opened my eyes. He made me realize that we're destined to be who we want to be. We learn from our mistakes, and we learn from our parent's mistakes. I'm taking everything my parents did wrong, and doing the opposite with Jayden. Maybe he won't end up as screwed up as me."

"You're not screwed up Rachel." Lucas shook his head, being honest with her. This wasn't a side of Rachel he'd seen before. He'd only seen bitch Rachel and mother Rachel, never the unguarded Rachel. It felt weird to be sitting with her while she was like this.

"I am Lucas." Rachel sighed. "I've pulled so much crap, and done so many stupid things. Things I can't take back and regret every day."

"That doesn't mean you're screwed up. They're just mistakes. Everyone makes them." Lucas of all people knew that. There were things in his past he wished he could change. Little mistakes that he wished he could erase. There were days he wished he could go back to their senior year in high school and change things.

Rachel shook her head. "But some mistakes haunt you for the rest of your life, and change you. Sometimes for the worse." She stood up. "I'm going to go check on Jayden." She left before Lucas could say anything else to her.

He sighed as he watched her go. Lucas was honestly surprised by the conversation he'd just had with Rachel. It wasn't something he ever expected to have with her. They weren't the greatest of friends, and Rachel was always so guarded, much like Brooke could be. It was no wonder the two had become such good friends. They were so much alike, yet so different at the same time.

_May be surrounded by  
__A million people I  
__Still feel alone  
__I wanna go home  
__Oh, I miss you, you know_

Haley wiped down the kitchen counter and smiled at Jamie as he ate his breakfast. Nathan and herself had been blessed with a great child. Jamie was sweet, caring, and such a smart little boy. It was hard to believe he was four and a half now. It seemed like just yesterday she was in the hospital holding him in her arms for the first time, with Nathan by her side.

"Momma?"

"Yeah Jamie?" Haley questioned with a smile.

"Can I play with Jayden today?"

She didn't know the answer to that question, because it wasn't solely up to her. It depended on Rachel and what she had planned for her and her son this weekend. Because of this fact Haley looked at her son and said, "I don't know sweetie, we'll see."

"Okay." Jamie replied before turning his attention back to his breakfast.

Haley sighed. Jamie and Jayden were good friends, which was weird to Haley. This was mainly because Jayden was Rachel's son and Rachel and herself didn't have the best track record. But, Rachel had changed, that much was clear, and Jayden was a great two-year-old. He was so full of energy and excitement and he always seemed happy. Jamie and Jayden treated each other like brothers, and it brought a smile to many people's faces.

"Momma?"

Haley looked up at Jamie again. "Yeah?"

"Why don't Jayden's momma and daddy live together?"

Looking at Jamie, Haley found herself speechless for a moment. She didn't know how to reply really. She should have known Jamie would eventually ask that question.

Jamie watched her as he waited for an answer, when she didn't reply right away he asked another. "Why does his momma only come to see him every once in awhile? Why does she live so far away?"

"Well Jamie," Haley sighed. "Jayden's mom's work makes her have to work far away."

Jamie tilted his head to the side and looked at her. "Then why doesn't she get a job closer to here?"

"Because she can't right now." Haley replied not really knowing how to answer.

"Oh." Jamie went quiet for a moment. "So why don't Jayden's momma and daddy live together like you and daddy? Don't they love each other?"

"They do very much, but something happened and one of them got hurt and-"

Jamie cut her off. "Like daddy?"

"Not exactly Jamie."

"Oh." Jamie sounded slightly confused.

Haley sighed and continued. "After one of them got hurt they decided to take a break from each other."

"Like timeout?"

"Something like that." Haley replied.

"Does that mean they'll live together again? 'Cause it makes Jayden sad having to say bye to his momma all the time, and he says his daddy always seems sad when he asks about his momma."

"I don't know Jamie." Haley shook her head. "Why don't you go clean up? Your Uncle Skills is gonna come take you to the park for a bit, and maybe later you guys can play some basketball."

"Okay momma." Jamie replied jumping off the stool he'd been sitting on and running upstairs.

Haley sighed as she watched him go. He was too smart for his own good, and sometimes he asked way too many questions. But, that wasn't always a bad thing. The problem with the multitude of questions Jamie tended to ask was finding the right answers to them.

_And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you  
__Each one a line or two  
_"_I'm fine baby, how are you?"  
__I would send them but I know that it's just not enough  
__My words were cold and flat  
__And you deserve more than that_

Rachel kissed Jayden's cheek as they sat on the couch at Lucas' house, watching cartoons. It was beginning to get harder to look at Jayden and not see his father, the man Rachel had loved, and still loved. The man Rachel had hurt so badly, and wished she could fix things with. There were days that Rachel found it hard to believe that Jayden was hers. That she had a baby boy. That she'd found love and lost it. No. She hadn't lost it. She'd just gained another. She'd gained a love that she would never lose. A love that she'd make sure she never hurt.

"Mommy?" Rachel looked down at Jayden silently. "You gonna stay longer?"

"What do you mean baby?"

"You gonna leave again?"

Rachel sighed, and smiled sadly. "I have to Jayden. I've gotta go back to work."

"I want you to stay with me and daddy."

Rachel wrapped her arms around Jayden and pulled him close. She kissed his cheek. "I want that too baby, but things are complicated."

"What's comp-i-cated mean?"

"It means that," Rachel sighed. "It means that your daddy and I can't make it happen."

"Why not?"

"Mommy's gotta go to the bathroom, I'll be right back, alright? Stay here and watch Bugs Bunny, okay?" Rachel said softly, picking Jayden up off her lap and setting him gently down on the couch beside her. She couldn't deal with anymore questions. That made her a horrible mother didn't it? Not being able to handle her own child's questions had to mean that she wasn't good at this whole parent thing.

Jayden looked up at her and nodded. "Kay mommy."

Rachel smiled slightly, before getting up and moving down the hall to the bathroom. Once she was inside the small room she closed the door and leaned against it. She slid down the door to the floor, where she pulled her knees to her chest and rested her forehead on her knees.

Where had her life gone so horribly wrong? Where had she lost her way? Was it when she'd decided to have plastic surgery? Was it when she'd lied to Cooper Lee and fallen for him only to get her heart broken? Was it when she'd tried to seduce Nathan Scott? Was it when she'd become such good friends with Brooke Davis? Was it when she'd left Tree Hill and found herself in New York?

She didn't regret having Jayden. She'd never regret it. Jayden had been the best thing to ever happen to her. What she did regret were the choices she'd made after having Jayden. Rachel wished she could go back in time and change things, make things right for her and her son.

Rachel felt the tears slip out of her closed eyes and down her cheeks. She felt her body shake as she cried. Why couldn't things be simple?

A soft knock on the door made Rachel lift her head off her knees. "Rach?" Lucas' voice came from the other side of the door. "Are you okay? Jayden said you looked sad..."

"I'm fine." Rachel said slowly, trying to hide the fact that she was crying.

"You sure? If you want to-"

"I said I'm fine." Rachel cut him off. "I'll be out in a minute."

There was no response from Lucas. Instead Rachel heard footsteps heading down the hall, and what sounded like voices in the living room. Sighing, she forced herself to stand up and move over to the sink. Rachel splashed cold water on her face, trying to make it look like she hadn't been crying. She waited a few more minutes before walking out of the bathroom and back to the living room. A smile came to her lips at the sight of Lucas on the couch with Jayden on his lap, watching cartoons. She walked over and sat down beside Lucas and Jayden. Only, she wished it could be her, Jayden, and Jayden's father.

"Skills called." Lucas stated after a moment.

Rachel glanced over at him. "And that would concern me because..."

"He wanted to know if it was okay if he took Jayden to the park. He's supposed to take Jamie, and Jamie wanted Jayden to go too."

"Of course it's okay." Rachel shrugged, her eyes glued to the television screen. "Why wouldn't it be?"

She could feel Lucas' eyes on her. "Because it's your weekend with Jayden, and you only get a couple days with him. Skills didn't want to butt in on that."

Rachel turned her head to look at Lucas and smiled. "It's fine. Really."

"Good. That's what I told him." Lucas replied. "He's going to be here in an hour to get him."

Rachel nodded and looked down at Jayden. "Does that sound like a good plan to you buddy? You wanna go to the park with Jamie and Skills?"

"Yeah, Uncle Skills is awesome." Jayden replied with a wide grin.

"If you say so baby." Rachel smiled and kissed the top of Jayden's head. She glanced up at Lucas with a questioning look. Since when had Jayden referred to Skills as an uncle? And since when had Jayden used the word awesome? Almost as if he knew what she was thinking, Lucas smiled and shrugged.

_Another airplane  
__Another sunny place  
__I'm lucky, I know  
__But I wanna go home  
__I've got to go home  
__Let me go home  
__I'm just too far from where you are  
__I wanna come home_

Brooke finished packing her last bag. She didn't know how long she'd end up being in Tree Hill for, so she was packing a little extra. Her plane left in a couple of hours, which meant she really had to get going. Traffic could be horrible, and she didn't want to miss her flight because of traffic issues. Brooke lifted her bag and put it beside the apartment door with the other two suitcases. Okay, three suitcases was probably an overkill, but it wasn't like they were extraordinarily big suitcases.

Moving into the small kitchen, Brooke picked up her cell phone from the counter and dialled a familiar number, pressing the phone to her ear, she waited for an answer.

"Hello, Clothes over Bros, Millicent speaking."

"Hi, Milli, I just wanted to see how things were going." Brooke said, as she leaned against the counter, mentally going over everything she'd need while in Tree Hill.

"Good." Millicent replied. "Victoria has no idea you're headed to Tree Hill. As far as she knows right now you're headed to Milan."

Brooke grinned. "Thank you! I knew I could count on you." She'd asked Millicent the day before to do her best at keeping this a secret from her mother, and Millicent had proven to be good at that. Just like she had proven to be a great friend to Brooke since she started to work for her.

"Don't be too excited about that quite yet Brooke. I don't know how long I can keep her from figuring it out." Millicent sighed.

"All that matters to me is that she doesn't figure it out until after I leave New York. She isn't going to ruin this for me."

"Even if she flies there to drag you back?"

"Even then." Brooke replied. She wouldn't hold her past her mother to do that.

"Okay," Millicent said before the sound of paper shuffling around could be heard.

Brooke smiled to herself and shook her head. Millicent was just as much of a work-a-holic as she was. "Don't work too hard while I'm gone Milli."

"I'll try. But with your mother around that's unlikely." Millicent paused. "Speaking of...she just walked through the doors." Her voice got slightly louder. "Your limo will be there any minute Brooke to take you to the airport. Good luck in Milan with the fabric. I'm sure it's exactly what you're looking for."

"Thank you Milli, and don't listen to a word my mother says to you, okay? Call me if you need anything. I'll call to let you know I get there. Bye Milli."

"Goodbye Brooke."

Brooke closed her cell phone and slipped it into her purse sitting on the counter behind her. Maybe she should cut down on one suitcase. If she needed anything she could easily buy it. She sighed and moved over to the door to go through her suitcases one last time before leaving for the airport.

_And I feel just like I'm living someone else's life  
__It's like I just stepped outside  
__When everything was going right  
__And I know just why you could not  
__Come along with me  
__This was not your dream  
__But you always believed in me_

Nathan threw the basketball and watched as it rolled around the rim of the hoop and barely went through. He sighed. Where had his skills gone? Had they disappeared the moment he got into that bar fight? He knew he'd been unbearable after the accident, and pretty much pushed his family away. But, they stuck around. They kept by his side until he'd realized what an idiot he'd been. And they were there for him as he regained his strength and became the Nathan Scott they knew.

He wished he'd been smarter that night in the bar. He wished he'd taken Lucas' advice and walked away when he had the chance. If he had life would be different right now. He'd be playing basketball, and life for them would be easier. The only downside about playing basketball would be the time spent away home. Nathan hated being away from Haley and Jamie. They meant everything to him.

"Well, well, if it isn't Nathan Scott." A voice caused him to look up.

"Rachel. I thought you'd be at Luke's or something with Jayden."

Rachel shrugged as she bent down and picked up the basketball from where it had landed slightly under the net. "Skills wanted to take Jayden to the park with Jamie. I couldn't say no. I have tomorrow and tonight with him."

Nathan nodded, "And what brought you here?"

"I needed some fresh air, and some time to think." Rachel replied as she tossed the basketball in Nathan's direction.

He caught the ball with ease and looked at Rachel. "I don't know how you do it."

"Do what?" Rachel questioned. Though, Nathan knew Rachel knew exactly what he was talking about.

"I don't know how you can stand only having a weekend with your son every second week." Nathan clarified shaking his head.

"I don't really know either." Rachel sighed, leaning against the pole holding up the basketball net, her arms crossed at her chest. "I can't move Jayden to New York, because it wouldn't be fair to his father to just take him away like that. Plus we worked this out a long time ago; we figured it'd be the smarter move. And, I can't exactly move here right now, my work is in New York and LA. I'd be gone a lot anyway."

Nathan watched Rachel as she spoke. He saw the same look in her eyes that he had at the hospital after Cooper had left- the look of loss and pain. Suddenly Rachel shook her head and smiled at him, "Enough about me, I hear you suck at basketball now."

"Where'd you hear that?"

"My son talks a lot." Rachel smiled. "And he's really good at gossip. Learnt it from me."

"I don't suck." Nathan stated.

"Okay, he didn't exactly say you suck, he just said you weren't as good as you use to be. Must have been all that time stuck in a wheelchair." Rachel smirked at him. Nathan just shook his head. "How 'bout a game of one on one Nate?"

"That's a little unfair, don't you think?"

Rachel laughed. "Totally, you're going down Scott."

"I don't know about that one."

"Then prove it. A quick game to eleven."

Nathan thought about it for a moment. A small game wouldn't hurt, would it? Maybe it'd help him out a bit. It wasn't like she'd be able to beat him. "You're on." He said, passing Rachel the ball. "And you'll be the one going down."

_Another winter day has come  
__And gone away  
__In even Paris and Rome  
__And I wanna go home  
__Let me go home_

Haley sat curled up on the corner of Lucas' couch. "So tell me what's on your mind Luke." She said as she watched him closely. Lucas had been her best friend for a long time; she could read him like an open book most of the time- like now.

"Who says there's anything on my mind?" Lucas questioned, turning his head slightly to look at her from where he sat beside her on the couch.

"Luke, I can read it all over your face."

Lucas sighed, and Haley knew he'd already caved into talking to her. "I just... I've been thinking a lot lately about how things would have been different if I'd made different choices back in high school."

"Like what?" Haley turned so that she was facing Lucas, and rested her head against the couch as she looked at him.

"What if I didn't leave the Rivercourt? What if I didn't bother joining the Tree Hill Ravens?"

"Then I wouldn't have agreed to tutor Nathan, and you wouldn't have a wonderful nephew named Jamie, and you would have never met Brooke and you wouldn't have talked to Peyton."

"You don't know that for sure."

"Yes I do, Luke. Things would have been different. I would have never gone on tour. Maybe, Brooke wouldn't have created such a wonderful company. And, Ian might have been able to cause serious harm to Peyton. You might now have a bestselling novel. Everything-"

"-happens for a reason." Lucas said cutting her off. "I know Hales."

"Then stop questioning everything you did in your past Lucas." Haley said reaching out and squeezing Lucas' arm slightly. She was guilty herself of playing different 'what if' scenarios in her head. But then again, who wasn't? "Be happy with how your future is turning out, because you're doing pretty great Luke."

"No, I will be doing great whenever I finish writing my second novel."

Haley sighed; she knew that his second novel wasn't doing very good. "Money isn't everything, you know that. Don't forget how we grew up. All that matters is you've got your friends and family by your side."

"That must mean you're pretty great." Lucas mused.

"What?" Haley laughed.

"You're my best friend and my sister-in-law." Lucas laughed too.

"And both roles give me much power, because I have many stories about you. Stories that I will only share if you allow me or you really piss me off."

"And that, Haley James-Scott, is why you're my best friend."

_And I'm surrounded by  
__A million people I  
__Still feel alone  
__And I wanna go home  
__Oh, I miss you, you know_

Brooke walked through the airport, one suitcase in hand. She'd spent an extra half hour downsizing to one suitcase. She was quite proud of herself. She'd gone from three suitcases, to one very big one. As she left the terminal she scanned the area leading to the exit. Peyton should be there already. Peyton's plane had left earlier than her own, so it had to have landed earlier than hers.

"B-Davis!"

Brooke whirled around, dropping the handle of her suitcase the moment she saw her lifelong friend. She had done her best to push past the issues they'd had in the past. She had done her best to forgive and forget, because even when she was pissed off at Peyton for things that should be unforgiveable, all she could do was remember the past. Peyton meant a lot to her.

Brooke hurried over to Peyton and wrapped her arms around her. "P-Sawyer, it is so good to see you. I missed you."

"I missed you too." Peyton said, pulling back from the hug after a moment.

Brooke linked arms with Peyton and led her towards the forgotten suitcase. "What do you say we see if our home has changed at all?"

"Brooke, it's Tree Hill, I doubt it's changed much." Peyton laughed, as she dragged her suitcase behind her.

"Hey, you never know. Many things could have changed." Brooke shrugged as they headed for the exit. "Like, buildings could have been painted, new billboards, old buildings no longer standing, or renovated to the point where you can't recognize it and people could have changed. I mean, it's been years since either of us has been here."

"You've got a point, but I still don't think Tree Hill could have possibly changed that much." Peyton smiled.

"Wanna make a bet on that?" Brooke questioned.

Peyton laughed, "Not really, no."

"Ha! Then you know I'm right." Brooke grinned as they made their way outside and to a taxi. "Now, admit it."

"I'm not going to admit anything." Peyton shook her head, putting her suitcase into the trunk of the taxi.

Brooke did the same. "Fine. Don't. All that matters is I know I was right."

As the two friends got into the taxi Brooke gave the driver, Lucas' address. It wasn't where Peyton and herself would be staying but she wanted to stop there first. Plus, Haley had sent her a text message to let her know that was where she was. Haley was the only one in Tree Hill that knew Brooke and Peyton were making an appearance, and she'd promised that she'd keep it all a secret.

The ride to Lucas' place was silent as the two friends looked out the window at the town they'd grown up in. It wasn't long before the taxi came to a stop and the two of them got out. Brooke paid the driver before they grabbed their suitcases and headed up to the front door of Lucas' house. A thought it her as they walked up the stairs. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to bring Peyton here. Peyton and Lucas hadn't really talked since Peyton turned down his proposal. Maybe, going straight to Haley's would have been a better idea. Oh well. There wasn't much she could do now.

With a smile, Brooke put her suitcase down and turned the doorknob, happy to find it unlocked. She pushed the front door open and called out, "Honey! I'm home!"

_Let me go home  
__I've had my run  
__Baby, I'm done  
__I'm coming back home  
__Let me go home  
__It'll all be alright  
__I'll be home tonight  
__I'm coming back home_

* * *

AN: Hey all! Thank you for your reviews. It's nice to know people like this. As for a couple things that have come up in reviews and conversations with friends; you're gonna have to wait a bit to find out who Jayden's dad is. I figured I'd have a small bit of suspense in it. And, as for Rachel and Lucas living together, it wasn't my original plan. I started writing this fic during the summer, and had about four chapters done when I decided to delete and rewirte. And, well, Rachel and Lucas' living situation just kind of happened, it just seemed to work for what I wanted. Anyway, hope you liked this chapter. Feel free to give me ideas/suggestions. I'm open to anything, and I'll try to fit in what you guys want to see happen.


	3. Missing You

"_**Just think, you could be a big part of someone else's life and not know it."  
**__**~ Lucas Scott**_

Lucas paused when he heard the front door open. The fact that someone had just walked into his house didn't bother him. Everyone seemed to just let themselves in. He turned his attention back to the tv, thinking that it could be Nathan, Skills, or one of the other guys. It wasn't until he heard the familiar voice that he was up on his feet and on his way towards the door, Haley right behind him. "Brooke." He grinned, pulling the brunette standing there into a hug. It'd been awhile since he'd seen her.

"It's good to see you too, Luke." Brooke smiled hugging Lucas back.

Lucas pulled back from the hug, and that was when he saw the blonde. He hadn't seen Peyton since he left her in the hotel room. They'd talked once or twice on the phone, but that was pretty much it. "Peyton, hi." He smiled and hugged her. It was an attempt to let her know, what happened in the past would stay there, though it did feel slightly awkward.

"Hi, Luke." Was Peyton's quiet reply, as she gave him a small squeeze before pulling back from the hug.

"I'm so glad the two of you came!" Haley said happily, getting rid of the slight awkwardness that filled the room. She hugged both of them, a grin across her face. "It's been too long since we all got to spend time together."

"I know, which is why I'm going to plan a little reunion for us all." Brooke stated proudly. "I mean, we did say we'd meet up at the Rivercourt four years later. It's been four and a half, a reunion is long overdue."

"When is this reunion going to be exactly?" Haley questioned, eyebrow raised.

Brooke shrugged, a smile still on her face. "That's a minor detail that has to be figured out. Don't worry it won't be too close to Jayden's birthday, since I know you worked hard on planning a party for him. Rachel appreciates it by the way, even if she's avoided saying it to you."

"I haven't asked her this myself, because I haven't been able to get a couple minutes alone with her, but, she's coming, right?" Haley looked at Brooke, and Lucas knew the hidden question. Lucas was pretty sure Brooke could pick up on it as well.

"Yeah, she is. Rachel wouldn't miss Jayden's birthday for the world. She won't talk to me about it, but I can tell she's worried about the whole thing." Brooke replied. "Anyway, why are we standing around the door for? Why don't we go sit and catch up for a bit."

"Sounds like a good idea." Haley smiled; she reached into her pocket and pulled out her car keys. "Luke, you think you could put their things in my car for me? Thanks."

Lucas didn't really get a chance to reply as Haley, Brooke and Peyton headed towards the living room. "Yeah, sure." He said to himself, as he headed outside. Something told him that everything was going to be a whole lot more interesting in Tree Hill now that Brooke and Peyton were back.

_Every time I think of you,  
__I always catch my breath  
__And I'm still standing here, and you're miles away  
__And I wonder why you left  
__And there's a storm that's raging  
__Through my frozen heart tonight_

"Good game, Rachel." Nathan said, slightly out of breath. The game had, surprisingly, been really close. He didn't know if it was because he really did need a lot more work at getting his game back, or if it was because Rachel was better at the game then she ever let on.

"I've seen you play better." Rachel mused, and Nathan knew he should have expected an answer like that from her. "Seriously Nate, I thought my kid was lying to me when he said you weren't good. It shocks me to see big time basketball player Nathan Scott almost losing a game of basketball to me. For someone who loves the game you've got a weird way of showing it."

Nathan just looked at Rachel. What the hell? He hadn't played in months. He went through a short period of depression. He had a reason to lack the ability to play.

Taking Nathan's silence as a cue, Rachel continued. "Though, I have to applaud you. You're making an attempt to get back to where you were before the accident. You're setting a good example for your son and for my son. Never give up. It's a good thing to live by."

He felt slightly confused as she spoke. Nathan didn't know how to take what Rachel was saying. "Where are you going with this little speech of yours Rachel?" He questioned not knowing what else to say.

Rachel sighed. "I don't really know. Just keep up the work Nate. Don't let go of the things you love." She turned suddenly and started to walk away.

"Rachel!" Nathan called after her. He watched as she stopped mid step, and looked at him over her shoulder. "Don't let go of the things you love either."

A small smile crossed Rachel's lips as she said, "I don't plan on it."

Nathan watched as Rachel walked away. He glanced down at the basketball in his hands, knowing basketball hadn't been fully what Rachel was talking about. He got the feeling she'd been referring to a lot more than that. Nathan turned his attention away from Rachel's slowly disappearing form and back to the court. He dribbled the ball, and threw it, watching as it went in, all net. He grabbed the ball, dribbled and threw it a few more times.

It wasn't long before dark clouds started to roll in. Nathan sunk one last ball, before the skies opened up and it started to pour. It was his cue to head home to his wife and son. Picking up the basketball, Nathan made his way to his car and got in.

_I hear your name in certain circles  
__And it always makes me smile  
__I spend my time just thinking about you  
__And it's almost driving me wild  
__But it's my heart that's breaking  
__Down this long distance line tonight_

Rachel had gotten to Tree Hill High before it started to pour rain. She stood outside under a sheltered area, just watching the rain pool on the ground. She dug around her pockets until she found what she needed. A joint. It was wrong, Rachel knew it, but it was the only thing that helped her put her thoughts in order. It was the only thing that helped her forget her problems and feelings for just a little while.

She leaned against a wall as she pulled out her lighter and lit up the joint. No one knew about the marijuana, and she planned on keeping it that way. Rachel usually made sure she didn't touch the stuff while she was in Tree Hill spending time with her son, just like she tried not to drink while in Tree Hill. But something snapped in her and made her crave the illegal substance. Before running into Nathan at the Rivercourt, Rachel had managed to track someone down who was willing to sell her a couple joints. She'd been looking for a place to hide out and smoke before finding Nathan. Part of her had hoped the little game of basketball would knock the need to light up out of her, but it hadn't. Instead it had made her want it more. Smoking around the high school probably wasn't the smartest idea she'd had in awhile, but she couldn't help it. She needed it, and it was raining, the sheltered area had been her only option.

Rachel took a long drag, before watching the smoke billow out in front of her. God, she had to stop this. She had to stop smoking pot. What kind of example was she setting for her son? Obviously not a very good one, if she was hiding out under shelter in the pouring rain smoking pot. The only upside of this whole situation was that Rachel wasn't doing any hardcore drugs. Pot was pot. It wasn't overly horrible, or anything. It wasn't like meth or cocaine. It was harmless in a way. At least that was how Rachel looked at it. Of course, she wouldn't be looking at it that way if it was someone else smoking pot.

Tonight would be the last time she ever had a joint. This was going to be her last one. That was Rachel's decision. She was going to stop smoking pot for her son and for herself. After tonight she wasn't going to use it as her escape. She couldn't. After she was finished this joint she was going to wait a bit before going back to Lucas' and flush the other joint she had in her pocket.

_And I ain't missing you at all  
__Since you've been gone, away  
__I ain't missing you  
__No matter what I might say_

Peyton stretched out on Haley's couch. They hadn't stayed at Lucas' for very long, and she was slightly thankful for that. Things had been awkward, at least for her. She didn't know what to say with Lucas in the room. He'd hugged her. That was a good sign, right? It meant she was forgiven, didn't it? But, how could he forgive her for that? She had to have broken his heart. Peyton knew her heart was broken.

Laughter pulled Peyton from her thoughts. She looked over to Brooke who had Jamie in her lap as she tickled him. Skills had dropped Nathan and Haley's son off only a few minutes ago, before taking Jayden to Lucas' place to be with his mom. Peyton was pretty sure she wasn't the only one that found it odd that Rachel was a mom, and a pretty decent one at that.

"Auntie Brooke! Stop!" Jamie giggled squirming in Brooke's arms.

"No." Brooke laughed, continuing to tickle the little boy. "Not until you say 'Aunt Brooke is the queen of the world, and everyone should bow down to her, because she is made of greatness'."

Peyton watched as Jamie continued to squirm and laugh. "Never!" he replied. He laughed and squirmed a couple more minutes before exclaiming through his laughter, "I'm going to pee! Please stop!"

Brooke sighed, and stopped tickling Jamie. "Fine, since you're gonna pee, I guess I can stop."

Jamie slid off of Brooke's lap and said, "I fooled you Aunt Brooke!" He giggled and ran off.

Brooke smiled and looked over at Peyton. "I can't believe he's gotten so big."

"I know, me either." Peyton smiled. It seemed like just yesterday Haley and Nathan were introducing them to little James Lucas Scott, wrapped up in a blue blanket. He'd been so small, and looked so fragile. Now he was four-years-old and a ball of energy. He took after both his parents in a lot of ways.

"Hey, Peyton, I'm sorry about bringing you to Lucas'. I wasn't really thinking when I gave the cab driver the address."

"Brooke, it's alright." Peyton smiled. "Really."

"If you say so." Brooke sighed. "But I'm still sorry."

Peyton shook her head, she couldn't be mad at Brooke for it. If anything she should be thanking Brooke. Oddly, seeing Lucas was what she had needed. She needed to know how he was doing, years after she'd said 'someday'. Peyton stood up and looked at Brooke, "Why don't we go see if Haley needs our help with dinner."

Brooke nodded and stood up. "I think that sounds like a great idea, if she trusts me in the kitchen."

"You're cooking skills have improved over the years." Peyton replied. "I'm sure she'll trust you. Just don't start any fires, alright?"

"Ha ha. Funny, Peyton. That happened once." Brooke said before turning and heading to the kitchen, Peyton following behind her.

"Need any help Teacher-mom?" Brooke questioned, as she leaned against the counter.

"Thanks, but I'm good." Haley smiled. "I'm almost done."

Brooke pouted. "You're only saying that because you don't trust me."

"No, I'm saying it, because I'm really almost done getting things ready." Haley replied with a smile. "Plus, why do you want to help? This is your vacation. You guys are guests. You should put your feet up and relax."

"But we're guests who don't really know when we'll be leaving." Peyton spoke up. "I feel bad just letting you do all of the work, while we just sit around."

Haley shook her head. "Well, I think you guys should be relaxing, at least for the first couple days, alright?"

"Yeah, I guess." Peyton sighed. "So where's Nathan?"

"He went to the Rivercourt." Haley replied, as she opened the oven and put the casserole dish inside. "He should be back soon, especially with it pouring rain outside. And I wouldn't doubt that he's getting hungry."

_There's a message in the wires  
__And I'm sending you a signal tonight  
__You don't know how desperate I've become  
__And it looks like I'm losing this fight  
__But it's my heart that's breaking  
__Down this long dusty road of mine_

"That was great Hales," Brooke smiled at one of her best friends from across the table. "I haven't had such a nice, home cooked meal in a long time." It was true. Rachel and herself usually ate take out, frozen meals, or things that were simple to cook. Like chicken. Brooke was really good at making chicken, and pork chops. She liked to believe as time went on she got better and better.

"Thank you, Brooke." Haley smiled, as she stood up to clear the dishes.

"Don't worry Hales, me and Jamie can take care of it." Nathan said, standing up and taking a plate out of Haley's hand. "Right, Jimmy Jam?" Nathan smiled at their son.

Jamie looked up at Nathan and asked. "You gonna play basketball with me daddy?"

"As soon as the dishes are done." Nathan replied.

"Kay, then I'll dry." Jamie grinned before going into the kitchen. Nathan laughed and followed after Jamie.

Brooke watched with a smile as Nathan and Jamie left before turning to look at Haley. "You did good with him Teacher-mom. You and Nathan both did good." She stated. Haley was probably the most grown up out of all of them. At least that was how Brooke felt. Haley was happy, and seemed to have everything she wanted in the world. Meanwhile, Brooke was trying to find the true key to her happiness.

"We couldn't have done it without you guys." Haley replied. "You guys made having Jamie easier. It also helps that Jamie is a good kid."

"A very smart kid." Peyton added. "He's got your brains Hales."

"And his uncle's looks." Brooke mused. "You sure you and Luke didn't have an affair somewhere along the lines during high school?"

"Funny Brooke." Haley replied, shaking her head.

"I thought so." Brooke laughed as she stood up. "Now, if the two of you would excuse me I've got to make a couple calls."

Brooke headed upstairs to the guest room Peyton and herself were sharing while they stayed at Nathan and Haley's place. She closed the door behind her and sat down on the bed as she pulled her cell phone out of her pocket. She wanted to call Millicent and check up on everything at Clothes over Bros, but it was getting late. It wasn't that she didn't trust Millicent, it was more her mother that she was worried about. Rachel always gave her a hard time about allowing her mother to play such a major part in the company. But Brooke couldn't help it. Victoria was her mother, and she knew business. If it wasn't for her mother, Clothes over Bros probably wouldn't be where it was.

She looked down at her cell phone and decided to call Rachel instead. Brooke dialled the familiar number and pressed the phone to her ear. The ringing seemed to go on forever before she got a response. Only, it wasn't Rachel, it was Rachel's voice mail.

Brooke sighed. "Hey slut, you should answer your phone. So, if you don't know already Peyton and I are in Tree Hill. We stopped by Luke's but you weren't there and neither was Jayden. If I don't hear from you by the morning, I'm going to... well I don't know yet. I'll think of something good. Anyway, I will talk to, or see you later."

Closing her cell phone, Brooke tossed it onto the night stand. She'd make all the other calls she needed to tomorrow. She didn't want to deal with anything work related right now. Work was stressful, and she came to Tree Hill for a break from that, even if it only lasted a day or two. This trip was meant to catch up with her friends and see how everyone was doing. It was meant to get everyone together, even if it only lasted for a couple of hours. Brooke wanted a reunion and she was going to make sure she got it.

Brooke got up from the bed and headed back downstairs, where Peyton and Haley had moved into the living room. "Nathan and Jamie go outside?" She questioned as she sat between her two friends on the couch.

"Yeah," Haley replied. "I told them they could only play for a bit, because it looks like it's going to start raining again, and it's getting late."

"Oh, you're such a mom." Brooke grinned. It was nice seeing Haley like this. "Can you be my mom? I need a better one."

Haley laughed, "I guess I could be a replacement mom for a bit. But I'd rather be your friend. And, I'm sure you'd rather me be your friend too. If I was your replacement mom I could boss you around, and ground you if you do something I don't like."

Brooke thought about her options. "Okay, but could you sometimes be my replacement mom?"

"Yeah, when you really need me to, I can be."

"You'll definitely be better than Victoria." Peyton spoke up. "She's a bitch." She looked at Brooke. "Sorry."

"It's alright Peyton. I agree with you." Brooke shrugged. "My mom can be a bitch. But she means well... most of the time." At least that was what Brooke tried to stand by. This was the most her mother had ever paid attention to her. Sure most of the time her mother was yelling at her and bringing her down, but still it was attention from her mother. Brooke knew she deserved better, but she couldn't help but strive for the love of her mother.

_And I ain't missing you at all  
__Since you've been gone, away  
__I ain't missing you  
__No matter what my friends say_

Rachel's eyes snapped open at the sound of thunder. She had waited for the rain to stop and her high to wear off before coming back to Lucas'. When she'd gotten there Lucas had been making something for dinner, while Jayden sat and played. After the three of them had sat down to eat, she'd given Jayden a bath and tucked him in. Then, she'd decided to lie down on the couch and watch T.V. for a bit- which was where she'd woken up with a stiff neck.

She groaned as she sat up and a bolt of lightning filled the room with light. Rachel glanced over at the T.V. to see a black screen. Since she was sure that she hadn't turned it off before falling asleep, she was pretty sure the power was out. Either that or Lucas had turned it off.

Rachel ran a hand through her hair and yawned as she stood up, and slowly made her way towards the room her and Jayden were sharing. There was another bolt of lightning and a loud clap of thunder. It wasn't long before she heard crying. Jayden. She quickened her pace, and as soon as she was in the bedroom she pulled her son to her. "Shh, baby, it's okay." She whispered to him as she rubbed small circles on his back.

Who would have thought four years ago she'd end up here? When graduation hit, even though she'd been expelled and off doing her own thing, she didn't think she would have a son. She didn't think she'd have another failed relationship. And she didn't know life would be so hard sometimes. "It's just a storm; it'll be all over soon."

"I want daddy." Jayden cried into her shoulder.

Rachel closed her eyes and kissed the top of Jayden's head. "It's late baby, you'll see him tomorrow when he comes to get you."

"But daddy's always there when it goes boom." Jayden mumbled, still crying. "I want daddy."

Rachel bit her lip. "How about we call daddy? Will that work buddy?"

Jayden nodded against her shoulder. Rachel shifted him slightly in her arms, before she reached for her purse, sitting on the floor, and started to go through it. After a minute she finally found it, buried under a bunch of crap. The display read, '_Five missed calls. Two new voicemail._' She'd have to check those later. Rachel scrolled through her contacts until she found the number she'd been looking hit the send button and as soon as it started ringing, she handed the phone to Jayden. "If he doesn't answer we'll try calling again later, kay baby?"

Jayden sniffled and nodded as he held the phone to his ear, and snuggled closer to her. After a moment, Jayden said in a quiet voice, "Daddy?"

Rachel closed her eyes and rested her head back against the wall as she listened to her son's side of the conversation. "Daddy it go boom and you weren't here." As he spoke she continued to rub circles along his back in an attempt to comfort him. "You always here." There was another clap of thunder and Jayden snuggled as close as he could to Rachel, as he started to cry again. Jayden was silent for awhile except for his sniffles, and Rachel knew his father was soothing him to the best of his abilities over the phone.

"Okay daddy." Jayden said after awhile. "I will. Love you daddy. Bye."

Rachel opened her eyes and looked down at her son, who'd closed the cell phone. "Feel better now baby?"

Jayden shook his head. "I'm still scared mommy."

There was another crack of thunder, causing Jayden and even Rachel to jump. Rachel sighed and took the cell phone out of Jayden's hand and put it on the nightstand. "You know, when I was a little girl I used to be afraid of storms too."

"Really?" Jayden sniffled.

"Mmmhmm." Rachel moved so that Jayden and herself were lying down on the bed comfortably. "If it was during the day I was okay, but if it happened at night I'd wake up crying and wanting my mom and dad."

"What your mom and dad do?" Jayden questioned. Rachel noted that his tears were now gone, and he was looking at her expectantly.

"They didn't do anything." She said softly.

Jayden's face scrunched up, and Rachel was instantly reminded of his father. He had his father's dark hair and dark eyes, and he had his father's heart. "Why not? They should of."

"They were too busy for me." Rachel sighed. "But that's not the point. To stop being scared I started to play a game."

"Did it help mommy?"

Rachel nodded. "It helped a whole lot."

"How do you play it?"

"When you hear the thunder go boom, you have to try to figure out what it's trying to say." Rachel replied. "Like maybe it's trying to say goodnight, or maybe it's telling you to eat your vegetables."

Jayden giggled, and Rachel smiled. Giggling was a whole lot better than crying. "Mommy you're silly. Thunder can't talk."

"That's what you think baby." Rachel replied. "If you listen closely you'll hear it."

It was a few minutes before the sound of thunder filled the room. Rachel felt Jayden jump beside her. "I think it was trying to say 'there's nothing to be afraid of'."

Jayden shook his head. "It wasn't long enough." He stated. "I think it was sayin' 'storm's almost done'."

"I think you're right Jayden." Rachel said, kissing Jayden's cheek. Four years ago the thought of having a child made Rachel's stomach churn. She was independent. She was a partier. She wasn't a mother. But now, holding Jayden in her arms, she couldn't imagine a life without him. Sure, she only saw him every second weekend, but it was better for him. Her life in New York was a hectic one, always in and out going to photoshoots or an event of some sort. Being in Tree Hill with his father was good for Jayden. His father was around more, he may work nights but he was a lot more stable then Rachel was, and that was what Jayden needed. He needed stability to make sure his life turned out okay.

_And there's a message that I'm sending out  
__Like a telegraph to your soul  
__If I can't bridge this distance  
__Stop this heartache all alone_

Haley rolled over in bed, to snuggle against Nathan's side. She felt his arm wrap around her and pull her closer. She smiled and shifted slightly so that her head was resting on his chest.

"You still awake?" She heard him quietly say.

"Yeah." Haley nodded. "Listening to the storm."

"Me too." Even though Haley's eyes were close she could see Nathan's smile perfectly.

A comfortable silence fell between the two, as they lied there and listened to the rain and thunder. It wasn't long before the sound of their bedroom door opening could be heard, followed by the sound of little feet shuffling across the floor.

Haley counted backwards from five silently, and as soon as she hit zero the bed shifted slightly. "Momma? Daddy?"

Opening her eyes Haley smiled at Jamie. She moved slightly away from Nathan to allow Jamie to lie down between them. "The storm wake you up Jim Jam?" Nathan questioned, looking at Jamie.

Jamie nodded before crawling between them. "I don't like storms."

Haley kissed his forehead, and pulled him close to her. "Well, you have nothing to worry about Jamie, you're safe right here."

"I know momma." Jamie replied.

"Now, get back to sleep, your Aunt Brooke wants to take you out tomorrow." Haley said quietly.

Jamie closed his eyes, already close to falling asleep again. "Okay." He yawned. "Night momma. Night daddy."

"Night, Jim Jam."

"Goodnight, Jamie." Haley smiled. Jamie and Nathan were her world. Sure, there were days she wondered how things could have ended up if she'd made different choices in the past. But the thought of not being married to Nathan, and not having Jamie, made her forget all of the possibilities. Her family was one thing Haley didn't want to give up. Sure they'd had a lot of hard times, but it was the good times that mattered.

"Night Hales."

Haley smiled at Nathan. "Night Nate. I love you."

"I love you too." He leaned over and kissed her, before settling back into the bed.

Haley closed her eyes. She pulled Jamie closer to her, and rested her head beside Nathan's. As Haley slowly drifted off to sleep, she listened to the storm roaring on outside. Comfort washed over her knowing that her family was safely nestled under the covers of the bed.

_I ain't missing you at all  
__Since you've been gone away  
__I ain't missing you  
__No matter what my friends say  
__I ain't missing you (yeah missing you)  
__Since you've been gone away (missing you)  
__I ain't missing you (yeah missing you)  
__No matter what your friends say  
__Hey, yeah yeah yeah yeah  
__I ain't missing you at all  
__Since you've been gone away  
__I ain't missing you  
__No, and no matter what my friends say_

* * *

**AN**: Okay, so I got less reviews for chapter two than I did for chapter one. But, I did get more hits and story alerts, so I'm happy. But, if you want to make me even happier, review please. Give me ideas, things you'd like to see and whatnot. Oh, and if you have an idea for a better summary, do share. I'd like to take a second to thank a few people; miralinda, cRaZyGuRl093, bella(x2), Long Live BRUCAS (x2), PeterPanTinkerBell27 for their reviews and Choc79, MnTluva4eva, PeterPanTinkerBell27, ap2682, arygon199, cRaZyGuRl093, cRiMsOnGoDdEsS01, chicaespanola, dolcegrazia, harroc83, mickeiblue, miralinda, othlife for adding the story to their alerts. Now, if my memory is correct the next chapter is where Jayden's father is revealed. Hope you enjoyed the chapter and remember...reviews are love.


	4. Soco Amaretto Lime

"_**I don't really think people can change. You know, at the end of the day you are who you are. And it's probably who you've always been."  
**__**~ Brooke Davis**_

Brooke pushed her sunglasses to the top of her head as she unlocked the front door. She'd been up bright and early this morning and decided to get Lucas' house keys from Haley, who surprisingly didn't have a problem giving them to her. Seeing as she had yet to hear from Rachel, she wanted to surprise her friend with an early morning visit. As she stepped into Lucas' house she glanced around and spotted Lucas sitting with Jayden and the table. "And what are you two boys up to this morning?" She questioned with a smile, as she made her way towards them.

"Auntie Brooke!" Jayden exclaimed jumping off his seat and running towards her.

"Hey, Jay Bear." Brooke crouched down and held her arms open for him to run into. She picked him up and kissed him on his cheeks, nose, and forehead.

"What you doin' here?" He questioned tilting his head to the side as he looked at her.

"I came to see you of course, silly." She laughed. "And that crazy mother of yours."

"She's still sleepin'." Jayden stated.

"She is, is she?" Brooke questioned as she put Jayden back down onto the chair he'd been sitting on before she'd walked in the door. "Maybe I should go wake her up. And then you and your mom can come with me to go get Jamie and we'll go to the park and get ice cream for lunch."

"Yeah!" Jayden said excitedly.

Brooke smiled, and glanced over at Lucas. "Morning, Luke."

"Morning, Brooke." Lucas replied, an amused look on his face.

"How are you this morning?"

Lucas smiled. "I'm good. How about you? What are you doing here so early?"

"I wanted to take both Jamie and Jayden out, and since Rachel has to head out tonight, I figured I should drag her out nice and early with us." Brooke shrugged, she looked at Jayden. "Finish up your breakfast Jay, I'll be back." She turned and headed to Karen's room, which was where Rachel and Jayden stayed on Rachel's weekends with her son. She walked into the bedroom, and saw Rachel curled up on the bed, hugging a pillow to herself.

With a smile, Brooke jumped onto the bed. "Hey, whore, get up!" She got no response, not even a grunt. Brooke poked her friend in the side. "Rachel, time to get up. Come on." She poked her again.

"Go 'way." Was the mumbled response she got after a moment of silence and relentless poking.

"No. It's your last day to spend with your son until the next time you come back to Tree Hill, so get your skanky ass out of bed." Brooke demanded, pulling the pillow out of Rachel's grasp and hitting her in the head with it.

Rachel lifted her head and looked at Brooke with utter confusion. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I'm in Tree Hill for a visit." Brooke grinned. "Lucas must not have told you. I got here yesterday, but you were nowhere in sight."

Rachel sat up, running a hand through her hair. "Sorry, I was keeping myself busy all day while Skills kidnapped my son." She yawned.

"Why are you so tired?"

"It's early, and I was up a lot of the night with Jayden because of the storm."

"Speaking of Jayden... you, me, Jayden and Jamie are gonna go out as soon as you're up and motivated."

Rachel yawned again and nodded. "Alright."

"You okay, Rach?" Brooke questioned looking at her friend. Something was off; she just couldn't place what exactly.

Rachel turned her head and gave her a small smile. "I'm fine Brooke."

"If you say so." Brooke replied, not fully believing what Rachel said. Over the years Brooke had gotten to know Rachel really well, and reading her was getting pretty easy. "But you know if you need to talk about... anything I'm here for you."

"I know Brooke, and when I need to talk about something, you'll be the first to know." Rachel said with a shrug. "And as of right now, I don't have anything I need to talk about."

Brooke watched as Rachel got out of the bed, and went to her duffle bag. She dug through it and pulled out some clothes, leaving the room without another word. Brooke sighed. Something was going on in that head of Rachel's, and Brooke wanted to know what it was.

_Passed out on the overpass  
__Sunday best and broken glass  
__Broken down from the bikes and bars  
__Suspended like spirits over speeding cars  
__You and me were kings over the parkway tonight  
__And tonight will go on forever while we  
__Walk around this town like we own the streets  
__And stay awake through summer like we own the heat  
__Singing "everybody wake up (wake up) it's time to get down"  
__(everybody, everybody wake up it's time to get down)  
__And when I pass the bottle back to Pete  
__On the overpass tonight, I bet we laugh_

Nathan woke up to the smell of coffee and an empty bed. He remembered falling asleep with his arm wrapped around both his son and wife as the storm raged on outside, but now they were both gone. Yawning, he sat up, knowing they were probably downstairs already eating breakfast. He ran a hand through his short brown hair as he swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up.

As he left the bedroom and headed downstairs, the smell of coffee got stronger and the sound of talking and laughter got louder. Nathan smiled as he entered the kitchen to see Jamie sitting at the counter with a plate of food in front of him, and Haley busy making pancakes. "Morning, Jim-Jam." Nathan smiled ruffling his son's hair before moving around the counter to Haley. "Morning, Hales." He said wrapping an arm around her waist and kissing her cheek.

"Morning, daddy." Jamie grinned from where he sat at the counter, before eating a forkful of pancakes.

Haley turned with a smile and gave Nathan a kiss. "Morning. Sleep good?"

"Of course." Nathan smiled at her. "I had you and Jamie beside me."

Haley laughed softly as she passed Nathan a plate. "Eat up." She said before filling up another plate. "We've got a long day ahead of us."

"Why? What are we doing?" Nathan questioned as he sat down beside his son at the counter.

"Aunt Brooke is taking me out all day with Jayden." Jamie grinned at him.

"Sounds like fun Jim-Jam." Nathan smiled.

"While he's with Brooke, we're going to be doing some shopping." Haley stated her back to him.

Nathan raised an eyebrow. "What kind of shopping exactly?"

"I want to paint the living room, and get a few new things." Haley replied. "Not too much shopping. I know what I want. So don't worry, Nate."

"Why shouldn't Nate worry?" Peyton questioned as she came into the kitchen.

"Because, even though I'm dragging him out of the house to shop with me, we won't be out long." Haley replied, handing Peyton a plate of food, before fixing herself one.

"Haley you didn't have to-"

Nathan cut Peyton off. "Don't argue with her, Peyton, you'll lose."

Peyton shook her head and sat down. "Brooke not up yet?"

"Actually, she was up first this morning." Haley mused. "She ate and then headed over to Luke's to get Rachel and Jayden."

Peyton nodded, not saying anything else. Nathan looked around the kitchen as silence fell amongst them. He didn't really know what to say, but he felt a need to say something. It wasn't that the silence was awkward, it just felt...unnatural. "So Peyton, how's your job going?" He asked for a lack of anything else.

"Um..." Peyton looked up at him and bit her lip. "I actually quit my job."

A silence fell again as both Nathan and Haley looked at Peyton. Why hadn't neither of them known that? "Why'd you do that Aunt Peyton?" Jamie was the one to ask the question on everybody's mind.

Peyton sighed. "Because I wasn't happy with what I was doing."

"You were working at a record label." Nathan replied, confused. "I thought it was what you wanted to do."

"It is, don't get me wrong." Peyton said, looking at Nathan. "But, I was the assistant to the assistant. What I did and said didn't matter to them. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life there, doing nothing but grunt work."

"Daddy?" Nathan turned and looked down at his son, who looked confused.

"Yeah, Jamie?"

"What's grunt work?"

Nathan laughed slightly. "Grunt work is doing work for other people that no one else wants to do."

"Like cleaning my room?" Jamie questioned.

"No. That's different." Haley interjected with a smile.

Jamie looked at Haley. "How?"

Haley shook her head and Nathan laughed. "Cleaning your room is something you have to do, because it's your room and your mess." Haley attempted to explain. "Grunt work is, having to clean up other people's messes because they don't want to."

"So, if I get someone to clean my room, they're doin' grunt work?" Jamie asked next.

Nathan laughed again, and ruffled his son's hair. "Only if you pay them, Jim-Jam."

_I'm gonna stay eighteen forever (cut me open)  
__So we can stay like this forever (sun poisoned)  
__And we'll never miss a party (this offer...)  
__Cause we keep them going constantly (...stands forever)  
__And we'll never have to listen (new haircut)  
__To anyone about anything (new bracelet)  
__Cause it's all been done and it's all be said (eyeliner)  
__We're the coolest kids and we take what we can get_

"I miss you." Lindsey's voice floated through the other end of the phone.

Lucas smiled to himself. "I miss you too Linds. How is everything in New York going?"

"It's good. I'll be flying in tomorrow. I can't wait to see you."

"I'll be at the airport, waiting for you." Lucas replied. He was quiet for a moment before saying, "There's something I should probably tell you."

"And what's that?"

Lucas sighed. "Brooke and Peyton are both in town. I thought you should know. And I want to make sure that you understand you've got nothing to worry about."

There was silence on the other end, and Lucas didn't know if Lindsey had hung up on him or not. "Thank you, Luke." Lindsey's voice finally reached his ears, and he felt relief wash over him. "Thank you for telling me. Haley called when she found out Brooke was heading to Tree Hill with Peyton to let me know. I was wondering whether or not you'd tell me yourself, and I'm glad you did."

Lucas should have known that Haley would fill Lindsey in. The two had become great friends the past year, talking to each other on the phone and going out for lunches. Lucas didn't mind at all. It was nice that his best friend and girlfriend got along so well. "I should have known she'd tell you, I was just hoping that I'd get to you first."

"Who got to me first doesn't matter." Lindsey replied. "What matters is that you told me, Luke. Now, enough of that talk. How's the writing for your second great novel coming?"

"Straight to business, huh?"

Lindsey laughed. "I'm at work Luke, I got to make it seem like I'm doing something work related, just in case an employee walked in here to ask questions."

"Okay, well, on the writing front. Things aren't so good." He told her honestly.

"You'll figure something out." Lindsey sounded confident, which was good. It was something Lucas needed, that extra confidence. "You are a brilliant writer. You're next book is going to be amazing, and do just as well as your first, if not better."

"Hopefully, I'll be able to figure it out soon."

"You will." Lindsey laughed.

_The hell out of this town  
__Find some conversation  
__The low fuel lights been on for days  
__It doesn't mean anything  
__I've got another 500, 'nother 500 miles  
__Before we shut this engine down,  
__We shut it down_

Haley smiled, watching as Jamie and Jayden ran around the backyard, playing with Jamie's little basketball and basketball net. Brooke, Rachel, Jamie and Jayden had come to the house after spending most of the morning at the park. Jamie and Jayden were now currently working off the energy they'd gotten from their ice cream for lunch.

"They grow up so fast." Rachel said softly. Haley turned to look at the redhead, who was looking out the window, watching the two young boys. "He's going to be three next week..." She trailed off.

"I know what you mean." Haley sighed. "Jamie's going to be in kindergarten next year. I don't know if I'm ready for that."

A silence fell around them again. Haley glanced from Rachel over to Brooke who was currently putting on a pot of coffee. It was weird to be standing in a kitchen with Rachel, talking about kids. More specifically, their kids.

"Thank you."

Rachel's words caught Haley off guard. She looked over at the redhead again. "For what Rachel?" Haley questioned.

"For being a mother figure to Jayden. I know he spends a lot of time her with you guys when his dad's working and what not." Haley watched a small smile come to Rachel's lips. "He talks about you, Nate, and Jamie all the time." She paused. "So thank you for making sure he gets a good life and knows right from wrong."

"I'd hardly call me his mother figure." Haley replied.

"But don't you see? You are." Rachel turned to face Haley. "I see him two to three days every second week, and for a week or two around Christmas and sometimes the summer. You're around him all of the time. You're a bigger influence on him then I am."

Haley shook her head. "That's not true. You're a huge influence on your son's life. You brought him into this world. He's your biggest fan. He cherishes his time with you, remembering every minute you're together."

"Rach, whatever's going through that head of yours, forget it." Brooke said finally speaking up. Haley looked over at Brooke as she moved from the coffee pot towards them. "You're a great mother and that little boy loves you."

Rachel shook her head. "I'm going to head out. My flights tonight, want to spend a bit more time alone with Jayden before I have to catch it."

Haley watched as Rachel left out the back door, saying a few words to Jayden and Jamie, before smiling and ruffling Jamie's hair. Rachel picked up Jayden, and Jayden turned to look at them through the window, waving. Haley smiled and waved back, as Jamie ran inside. "Mama, I'm gonna go play the PS3."

"Kay, Jamie, just don't have it too loud, okay?"

Jamie nodded and ran off towards the living room.

"Is Rachel alright?" Haley asked after a moment, glancing at Brooke.

Brooke shrugged. "I don't know Hales, I hope so. I think she just feels like she's missing out on a lot of Jayden's life because of his birthday coming up."

Haley nodded to herself, as she chopped up some vegetables. "Are you going to be eating dinner here with us?"

"Uh, no. I was going to eat at Luke's. I talked to him earlier and told him I'd be stopping by to say goodbye to Rachel, he invited me over for dinner."

Haley made a mental note of that. Was there a triangle slowly creeping its way back into Tree Hill? Haley hoped not for everyone's sake. She didn't want to see any of her friends getting hurt again.

_I'm gonna stay eighteen forever (cut me open)  
__So we can stay like this forever (sun poisoned)  
__And we'll never miss a party (this offer...)  
__Cause we keep them going constantly (...stands forever)  
__And we'll never have to listen (new haircut)  
__To anyone about anything (new bracelet)  
__Cause it's all been done and it's all been said (eyeliner)  
__We're the coolest kids and we take what we can get (wait forever)_

"Hey, P. Sawyer." Brooke's voice floated through the living room. "I haven't seen you all day."

Peyton looked up from where she was sitting on the couch drawing. "Yeah, I went for a walk around town. Wanted to see if anything was different."

"Well, is there anything different?" Brooke questioned sitting down beside Peyton on the couch.

"Karen's Cafe is closed."

Brooke sighed. "I know."

Peyton sat quietly for a moment. She glanced down at the sketch pad on her lap, before looking back at Brooke. "There's something I gotta tell you Brooke."

"You're not dying or anything are you?" Brooke questioned, turning to fully face Peyton.

Peyton laughed and shook her head slightly; she should have known Brooke would ask something like that. "No, don't worry I'm not dying."

"Good." Brooke smiled. "I just want to say though, if you were dying, I lay claim to your car, and all your stuff."

"It's good to know you care so much about me." Peyton smiled, knowing her best friend was joking around with her. "Anyway, what I wanted to tell you, before you found out from Nate and Haley, is..." She sighed. "I quit my job."

"What?" Brooke sat up straighter and looked at her. "When did that happen?"

"After you called me about coming here. My boss wouldn't give me the time off, and I just... quit."

"Peyton, was it something you really wanted to do, or did you just quit because you didn't get the time off you asked for?" Brooke questioned, and Peyton knew Brooke was blaming herself for this.

"It was what I wanted. Like we talked about before, I wasn't happy with the job." Peyton sighed. "I'm going to take a bit of time to figure out what I really want to do with myself."

"Well, if there's anything I can do for you Peyton, let me know."

Peyton smiled. "Don't worry Brooke, I will."

Brooke nodded. "I'm going to be going to Luke's later, to say goodbye to Rachel. Did you want to come, or are you going to stay here with Naley and Jamie?"

"I think I'm going to stay here." Peyton replied. She didn't really want to go to Lucas' place, mainly because she still felt horribly awkward around him- especially with his willingness to forgive her. There had to be something going on, something he wasn't saying. Maybe he was pretending to forgive her for everyone else's sake. They had all the same friends in Tree Hill after all.

"You sure?"

Peyton nodded with a smile. "Yeah, I'm sure Brooke. You go and say your goodbyes. Tell Lucas I said hi."

_(you're just jealous cause I'm young and in love)  
__Eighteen forever (first kisses)  
__(your stomach's filled up but you're starved for conversation)  
__So we can stay like this forever (new stitches)  
__(you're spending all your nights growing old in your bed)  
__And we'll never miss a party (collar weekend)  
__(and your tearin up your photos cause you wanna forget...it's over)  
__Cause we keep them going constantly (appearance ticket)  
__(you're just jealous cause I'm young and in love)  
__And we'll never have to listen (November to...)  
__(you're stomach's filled up but you're starved for conversation)  
__To anyone about anything cause it's all been done (...remember)  
__(you're spending all your nights growing old in your bed)  
__And it's all been said (nightswimmers)  
__(and you're tearin up your photos cause you wanna forget...it's over)  
__We're the coolest kids and we take what we can get_

Rachel shoved a few things into her duffle bag before zipping it up. The weekend had come and gone already. Days seemed to drag on, until she got to Tree Hill. When she was here with her son, everything went by too fast.

"Do you gotta go mommy?" Jayden asked from where he sat on the bed beside the duffle bag.

"Yeah, baby, I gotta go." Rachel smiled sadly at her son. She wished she hadn't screwed up in the past. She wished things in her life had gone differently, and that the little family she'd gained hadn't fallen apart. "But you know I'll be back."

Jayden pouted, and crossed his arms at his chest. "But you always take so long."

Rachel sighed, crouching in front of her son. "Not this time, I won't. I'm gonna be back in five days for your birthday."

"Five days?" Jayden questioned looking at her suspiciously.

"Five days, baby." Rachel smiled, leaning forward and kissing her son's forehead. "And you wanna know why?"

"'Cause it's my birthday?"

Rachel nodded. "And I wouldn't miss it for the world because you're my baby boy."

Jayden reached out and wrapped his small arms around her neck. Rachel closed her eyes, and pulled him closer to her. "I love you mommy." He said quietly.

"I love you too, baby." Rachel smiled; she kissed his cheek and pulled away. She was so close to crying. But she couldn't do it, not in front of him. If she cried in front of him, he'd be upset, and she didn't want that. "Now, what do you say we do the last minute check to make sure mommy hasn't left anything behind?"

Jayden nodded standing up on the bed. "Kay mommy." He jumped off the bed, and started to crawl around the floor, looking under things. Rachel started to go through the drawers she used and searched the surfaces of the nightstand, dresser, and desk.

This was their little ritual. A way to keep busy before time came for Rachel to leave. "Mommy, I don't see anything."

"Me either, which means I did a good job packing this time." Rachel smiled at him, before scooping him up into her arms and kissing his cheek.

Jayden rested his head on her shoulder. "Does that mean you're going now?"

"Yeah." Rachel sighed. "It does." She stood there silently for a few minutes before kissing his cheek again and putting him down. "You're going to stay here with your Aunt Brooke and Lucas-"

"Uncle Lucas." Jayden corrected her with a grin.

Rachel chose not to say anything. Apparently Jayden was slowly gaining a lot of aunts and uncles. "Okay. You're going to stay here with your Aunt Brooke and Uncle Lucas until your dad comes to take you home. I'll call you before your bedtime."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

"Pinky swear?" Jayden held out his small pinky to her.

Rachel linked her pinky to her son's and kissed it. "I pinky swear." She put her son down and said, "Now, go tell your Uncle Lucas to make you some dinner."

"Okay mommy." Jayden replied before he hurried out of the room.

Rachel sighed and sat down on the bed. She didn't want to leave. She hated leaving him. Hated not being a bigger part of his life, but this is what worked. This was what she got for making bad judgements. Jayden deserved a happy, semi-normal life, and his father could do that for him. She closed her eyes and dropped her head in her hands. Why couldn't time travel exist? Why couldn't she go back to the worst day of her life and redo it?

There were so many things Rachel wished she could change. So many things she wished she could fix to better life for herself and for her son. A few minutes passed before Rachel opened her eyes and stood up. If she didn't head for the airport now she'd never leave. As she picked up her bag she heard a knock on the front door. She ignored it figuring it was one of Lucas' friends. She shouldered her duffle bag as she left the bedroom.

"Kay, Jayden baby, it's time for me to go. Can I have one more hug and kiss, before I leave?" She said as she walked through the hallway.

"Guess who's here mommy." Was the reply she got from Jayden as he ran towards her.

"Who's here baby?" Rachel questioned, as she crouched in front of him.

Jayden grinned at her. "I told you to guess."

"Hmm... Santa Clause?"

"No mommy." Jayden laughed. "He won't be here for a few weeks."

"Then who's here?"

"Daddy."

Rachel froze she hadn't been expecting that answer. Jayden's father wasn't supposed to be there until after she left. She liked the system they had. It was a system where they didn't have to face each other. "Come say hi to him mommy." Jayden said, pulling her back to reality as he grabbed her hand.

She couldn't argue with her son, so she stood up and let Jayden lead her the little ways into the kitchen, where his father stood, talking to Brooke. Jayden let go of her hand and she felt herself start to panic. Her lifeline was gone. Her safety net was gone.

Rachel's heart raced as dark brown eyes met hers. "Hey, Rachel." His voice was cold, distant. It still held so much anger and pain, even after the past year and a half.

Her throat closed up, and for a moment she felt like she was going to pass out. Why did being in the same room with him do this to her? Was it the guilt? Was it the pain? Was it the need to be with him again to fix things for Jayden? When her voice finally came back to her all she found herself able to say was, "Hi, Owen."

_Just jealous cause we're young and in love  
__You're just jealous cause we're young and in love  
__You're just jealous cause we're young and in love  
__You're just jealous cause we're young and in love  
__You're just jealous cause we're young and in love  
__You're just jealous..._

_

* * *

_

AN: Hey all, hope you enjoyed this chapter. Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays. Thank you for the reviews. They really made my day. And what did you think of the big reveal? Anything you'd like to see in the future? Pairings you might want to see? Special thanks to dolcegrazia, PeterPanTinkerBell27, cRaZyGuRl093, and cRiMsOnGoDdEsS01 for the reviews; and cRiMsOnGoDdEsS01 another thank you for adding the story to your alerts (and I promise you there are more Brachel scenes to come, becuase I love their friendship). Anyway. Reviews are Love.


	5. Rachel

"_**People love someone who is strong enough to rise from the ashes."  
**_**~Coach Whitey Durham**

For an August day the air was colder than Rachel had been hoping. August had started a day ago, and already the weather had gone far downhill. The past two months that Rachel had spent in New York, had been everything she'd hoped for. Fun and exciting. There were new opportunities on every corner, not to mention her father's credit card that seemed to lack a limit. She was honestly surprised her parents hadn't cut her off yet. The day she got kicked out of Tree Hill High, she thought for sure she'd end up sitting on the couch of her parent's latest hotel room in another country, being told that she was going to have to start fending for herself. But no, it hadn't happened.

Instead she found herself back in Tree Hill for one last party, before moving to New York. Her parents had paid for a small apartment, and given her a credit card telling her to spend wisely. Her spend wisely? Yeah, right. She'd completely refurnished the apartment and gathered a whole new wardrobe. If her parents hadn't cut her off for getting expelled, they'd probably do it now.

Rachel pulled her thin coat closer as she walked through the streets of New York, weaving between the people surrounding her. She was a struggling model, a struggling model with a bank account many would be jealous of, and a credit card that was always in hand. So, it was hard to say she was a struggling model. She technically wasn't 'struggling' at all. She had everything she could possibly need at her fingertips, except a job.

She crossed the street and made her way into the Starbucks she frequented almost every day. After she waited in line for a few minutes she walked up to order. "Rachel," The girl behind the counter smiled, obviously proud of herself for remembering a name. "Venti, skinny, vanilla latte, right?"

"That would be it." Rachel nodded, handing over the cash before the girl gave her the total. She came here every day, of course she'd know the price. Once she got her change she made her ways a little way down the counter, to wait for her drink. As she waited she glanced around at the people that surrounded her. Some looked happy, some looked less then amused, and some were hard to read. It was funny how just upon one look at someone else, so many judgements or theories could fill one's mind.

She was pulled out of her thoughts by her phone buzzing. Digging through her purse, she pulled the cell phone out and glanced at the call display. Brooke. Again. Rachel sighed and hit the ignore button before sliding the cell phone back into her purse. She was in no mood to talk to the budding fashion designer.

It wasn't long before her drink was put in front of her. She gave the barista a polite smile before turning around and heading to the door. But, Rachel's escape from Starbucks was stopped by something solid. "Shit." Rachel jumped back, her latte making it through the collision unscathed. "Sorry."

"It's fine." A male voice replied. "It's not like you spilt your hot coffee on me or anything."

Rachel looked up at the person who was speaking to her, and smiled to herself slightly. He was definitely hot, with his dark hair, dark eyes, defined jaw line, broad shoulders and amazing height. "If I had you'd be buying me a new one." She stated.

The guy raised an eyebrow. "_I'd_ be buying _you_ a new one?"

"Better believe it buddy." Rachel replied, before moving around the guy and heading for the door.

"What? You run into me, nearly spill your coffee on me, tell me I'd have to buy you a new one if you had, and then walk away?"

"Yup." Rachel smirked over her shoulder. "See you around." Yeah right. This was New York, the chance of seeing this guy again was pretty slim. She didn't wait for a response; instead she sipped at her latte and left Starbucks.

* * * * * * * * * *

August turned into September, and September turned into October. Rachel now found herself with a new roommate and a few job possibilities. Though, she was lacking her father's credit card. He'd paid her a visit in September and cut it up right in front of her. Apparently he felt that she was getting by too easily. He wanted her to work for everything she had and wanted to have. It honestly didn't bother Rachel; she'd seen it coming from miles away. All the loss of her father's credit card had done was make her shopping habits change.

"So, roomie, ready to go?"

Rachel looked up and smiled. "Yeah, Brooke. Let's go get our party on." She turned and looked at her friend. "You look hot tonight. Though, not as hot as me."

"You wish." Brooke snorted. "I did make the costumes, so it's a guarantee that we'd be hot tonight."

"True. " She paused. "Saloon Girls, just a classier version of a hooker."

"Don't look at it like that." Brooke shook her head, as she made her way to the door of the apartment.

"Why? It's true." Rachel laughed as she followed Brooke out of the apartment.

The two made their way downstairs and outside of the apartment building. The sidewalks and streets were packed with people walking and driving, on their way to various Halloween parties going on in New York. It took them a few minutes to hail down a taxi, which they'd ended up sharing with a couple other people that had passed by at the same time. The ride to the club they were headed to was a long one, at least for the two friends that just wanted a good night out. Sure they were still technically underage, but it wasn't like anyone would notice. At least Rachel believed no one would notice, or care.

When they finally got to the club, Brooke passed the driver some cash, before Rachel dragged her up to the front of the line. There was no way Rachel was going to stand in a line for the next hour. The bouncer at the door looked up at the two of them. "Name?"

"Rachel Gatina. If that's not there try Brooke Davis." Rachel stated. "Tony called me a week ago and invited us, personally." She may not be known yet, but she sure as hell had her connections- mostly through her parents.

The bouncer looked down at his list and took, what felt like forever to Rachel, to find her name and nod. Rachel smirked, linked arms with Brooke and made her way into the club. The place was packed, people were in costumes everywhere. Some looked highly slutty, while others actually looked pretty decent. "So, what do you want to do first, whore?" Rachel questioned turning to Brooke. "Get drunk, flirt, dance, or... well that's all I came here for tonight."

Brooke shook her head and laughed. "How about we mingle first? And then we can drink and flirt."

"And dance?"

"And dance." Brooke nodded with a smile.

"How 'bout we get a drink first and then mingle?" Rachel offered.

Brooke laughed again. "Alright, we'll get a drink first, let's go slut." She said leading the way to the bar. Once the two had made their way to the bar Brooke said, "Can I get two tequila sunrises?"

All Rachel heard was a male voice say "Yeah." That was all she needed to hear. The voice was so familiar, yet so unfamiliar at the same time. She looked at the face that belonged to the voice, and froze. The guy from Starbucks, and she thought she'd never see him again.

"Well, well, look who it is." Rachel mused, looking at him with a smile.

Brooke looked confused. She glanced from Rachel to the guy behind the bar and back again. "You guys know each other?"

"No." The guy behind the bar replied.

"We had a run in- quite literally." Rachel mused with a smirk.

The guy looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "If I remember correctly, you were the one who ran into me." His eyes stayed on her as he started to mix the drinks Brooke asked for.

"Hardly. " Rachel snorted. "That was all on you babe."

"You almost spill your coffee on me, and it's my fault?" The bartender looked thoroughly amused by the conversation.

"Of course." Rachel shrugged, reaching out and picking up the drinks from the bar as Brooke put some money down. "See you later bartender-boy." She said as they left before he could ask them for Ids.

* * * * * * * * * *

December had proved to be an interesting month. No. November and December had both seemed to be interesting months. According to Brooke, Rachel had gotten completely smashed on Halloween, and it had resulted in the hot bartender driving them both back to the apartment. And, apparently during the long drive, Rachel had tried to convince the guy to have sex with her. Okay, that was only one of quite a few embarrassing things she'd apparently done. Rachel chose to pretend none of it ever happened. It made everything a whole lot easier.

But that wasn't the point. No. The point was that two weeks after Halloween bartender boy- who she later came to know as Owen- called and asked if she wanted to do something. She jumped at the opportunity, which was what lead up to today. This was date eight. It had taken them two dates to kiss- a record for Rachel, and five dates to have sex- another record for Rachel. Owen seemed to be a good guy, especially for her and she wasn't going to let him go anytime soon.

"Another date?" Brooke questioned, walking into the bedroom.

Rachel looked at Brooke through the mirror and smiled. "You could say that, yeah."

Brooke sat down on the bed and nodded. "I'm happy for you. You guys are a cute couple. And seriously, this has got to be the best relationship you've ever been in."

"Whatever, Brooke." Rachel laughed. "I doubt it'll last."

"Why do you think that?"

Rachel shrugged. "I just do."

"Well, I think it'll work out for you guys." Brooke mused. "I mean, you've been straight with him. You told him your _real_ age and your _real_ name, and he hasn't run the other way. So far so good, right?"

"Funny." Rachel rolled her eyes as she ran her fingers through her hair, in an attempt to smooth it out. "Enough about me, how's your love life going? Is Victoria still intercepting any possible dates?"

"My love life is fine." Brooke replied with a shrug, avoiding the topic of her mother.

Rachel snorted. "Yeah, right. You're still hung up on a blonde haired broody boy."

"I am not!" Brooke replied, maybe a little too fast. She was going to guess by the smirk on Rachel's face that the response had been too fast. "Chase and I broke up four months ago. I'm not quite ready for another serious relationship."

"Yeah? Keep telling yourself that Brooke." Rachel turned away from the mirror and looked at her friend. "You want to know what I think?" She didn't give Brooke a chance to respond. "I think you're still in denial about letting Lucas go. And I think your mother is a bitch."

"How does my mother being a bitch have anything to do with my love life?" Brooke questioned. Brooke knew her mother could be a bitch. But this was her mother. She'd do anything to gain a relationship with her mother.

"Everything. She keeps you so busy these days that you hardly have time for a normal life."

"Normal's overrated."

"I know that, Brooke. But you deserve to act your age sometimes. I get that she's helping you turn Clothes over Bros into a bigger company, but is it really worth your happiness?"

"I-" Brooke didn't really know what to say. "I'm happy Rachel, I really am." It sounded like Brooke was trying to convince herself more than she was trying to convince Rachel. "I'm just taking my time in finding the right guy for me."

"That's because the right guy for you is in Tree Hill." Rachel mused.

The sound of knocking on the door echoed through the apartment. Rachel shook her head, knowing full well it was Owen. How he managed to get into the building without buzzing in, she'd never know. He probably bribed people. "You going to get that?" Brooke questioned an amused look on her face as she continued to sit on the bed.

"Eventually, yeah." Rachel shrugged. "I figured I'd make him wait a bit."

Brooke laughed. "And why exactly are you going to do that?"

"I don't want him to think I'm desperate for his attention."

"So, because you answered the door when he knocked, you think he'll figure you were desperate for his attention?"

"Okay, not really." Rachel sighed. "I just... Brooke, this is date eight. I've never really gotten to an eighth date before. With Cooper it was all sex, and most of my other relationships have been one night stands, or lasted a couple weeks. This is...different."

Brooke smiled at her. "You've got nothing to be afraid of Rach." She told her friend softly. "Go answer the door, before he leaves. Have fun tonight, and I won't stay up and wait for you."

Rachel laughed. "Alright. If we come back here instead of going to his place, I'll make sure to give you some sort of warning." She winked before heading out of the bedroom to the apartment door. Rachel pulled the door open. A smile worked its way to her lips, before she wrapped her arms around Owen's neck pulling him towards her for a kiss. "Hey," she said after pulling away.

"Hey, yourself." Owen replied. "Ready to go?"

Rachel nodded, stepping back into the apartment. "I just have to grab my purse and jacket. Then I'm all yours."

* * * * * * * * * *

The thirteenth day of April was a day Rachel would never forget. It was a day that would be forever imprinted into her memory. Why? Simple, it was a day that would change her life forever. Or, at least one of many days that would change her life forever. A knock on the bathroom door, pulled her back into reality. "Rachel?"

"Sorry, almost done." She said calmly as she stood up.

"You okay? You've been in there awhile." Brooke's voice floated through again.

Rachel sighed, as she tossed the stick she had in her hand into the garbage can. "I'm fine." She replied simply as she washed her hands. She turned off the tap, and dried her hands off before leaving the bathroom. "I thought you had a big meeting today or something."

"I did." Brooke replied. "It didn't go as long as I thought it would, though."

"Did it go good at least?" Rachel questioned, walking past Brooke and into the kitchen.

"Yeah." Brooke smiled, following Rachel. "Another company is picking up the line, to sell in their store, and I've got another fashion show to plan. Which means, I'm gonna need your help Rach."

Rachel glanced over her shoulder at Brooke and smiled. "You can count on me slut."

Brooke sat down at the small table in the kitchen, as Rachel started to dig through the fridge. "So what are your plans for tonight? Getting together with Owen again?"

"No." She paused. "Well, not really. He's working the late shift tonight, meaning he won't be done till two. He said he might stop by, spend the night here, but I doubt it. He'll probably just head to his place, it is closer to the club anyway."

"Rach, he loves you, he'll go out of his way to see you."

Rachel shook her head, pulling a water bottle out of the fridge. "You don't know that Brooke. You don't know that he 'loves' me. You don't know that he'd go out of his way to see me."

"Six months is a long time to be together, Rach. I've seen the way he looks at you and the way you look at him. You guys are in love, you may have not said it yet, but I know it's true."

Rachel snorted. "So, you're suddenly an expert on love? After how many failed relationships? Didn't you think you loved Lucas, and then Chase? That worked real well for you." She realized she was being a bitch, but she couldn't help it right now. She was scared, she was tired and she felt like crap.

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed." Brooke said, looking at Rachel. "You okay?"

"Sorry." Rachel sighed. "I'm fine. Just tired. I've been busy with the photoshoots, and trying to spend time with Owen and you, and my other friends."

Brooke looked at her sceptically. She didn't know whether or not to believe her friend, because she could tell that there was something Rachel wasn't telling her. Deciding to let it go, just this once, Brooke asked, "You want to do something tonight?"

"I'm pregnant." Rachel blurted. It wasn't really the answer Brooke had been looking for.

"What?" Brooke questioned getting up from the chair and walking towards Rachel. "Did I hear you right?"

"I... I haven't been to a doctor yet, but I've taken five tests already. All of them have been done at different times this week, and all of them have been positive. God, Brooke! What am I going to do? I can't be a mother. I'm not ready to be a mother. And what am I supposed to tell Owen? We've only been together six months; this is going to ruin everything."

"It's going to be okay, Rachel." Brooke said, pulling the redhead into her arms.

"I can't tell him." Rachel whispered, her shoulders shaking as she started to cry. "I can't do this."

Brooke rubbed her friends back, and kissed her forehead. "Yes you can Rachel. I'll be here beside you, and back whatever decision you make." She said softly. "And when you tell him, I'll be right beside you."

Rachel didn't say anything; she just continued to cry in Brooke's arms. After a few minutes Rachel pulled away from Brooke's embrace and disappeared down the hall into her bedroom. Brooke watched the door close and sighed. She didn't know what to do or say. How was she supposed to help Rachel? She was pulled out of her thoughts by her cell phone ringing. Brooke walked into the living room and dug around her purse until she found it, "Hello?"

"Brooke, hey, it's Lucas."

"Luke?" Brooke smiled; it had been awhile since she'd heard from him. "What can I do for you?"

"I'm in New York. I was wondering if you wanted to get together, I have some good news."

Brooke bit her lip, staring at Rachel's closed bedroom door. She didn't know whether or not going would be a good idea. "You know what?" She paused. "I'd love to get together. How's tonight for you?"

"Tonight is great."

* * * * * * * * * *

April had sped by fast. Rachel had found herself getting busier and busier, helping Brooke with the upcoming fashion show, and trying to figure out her life. She had yet to tell Owen about the pregnancy. Something was stopping her. The fear of him leaving her. The fear of being a mother. She wasn't going to be able to keep this a secret for much longer, Rachel knew that. But what did it hurt pretending for just a little while?

As her alarm clock blared, Rachel rolled over to slam her hand down on the snooze button. She was stopped though when she collided with Owen's chest. Rachel had forgotten he'd spent the night. She sighed reaching over him to hit the snooze button. Once the annoying little sound had ended, Rachel curled up beside Owen, and felt his arms wrap around her. She felt safe, warm, and loved. The two of them may not have said the three little words to each other yet, but she knew it was there. She knew he felt for her the same as she felt for him.

Rachel slowly started to drift back to sleep, curled up beside Owen. At least that was until her stomach started to churn and she felt bile start to rise in her throat. Her eyes snapped open and she pulled away from Owen as she jumped out of the bed. Rachel pulled open her bedroom door and moved across the small hall to the bathroom. She'd barely made it to the bathroom door when her stomach started to empty itself. She felt her hair being pulled out of her face and a warm hand rubbing circles on her back. Owen. She should have known he'd wake up when she left the room.

After a couple of minutes, when there was nothing left in her Rachel closed her eyes and rested her forehead against the edge of the toilet seat. "You okay?" Owen's voice made her sit up and open her eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Rachel replied. She could tell by the look on his face that he didn't believe her.

Owen reached up and rested the back of his hand against her forehead. "You don't feel warm. It could be a twenty-four hour bug." He mused moving his hand away.

"Owen, I'm not sick." Rachel said quietly, looking up at him. "I'm-" She looked down at the tiled bathroom floor. "I'm pregnant."

A silence filled the small bathroom, and it made Rachel want to curl up and die. That was it, he was gonna leave her. She was never going to see him again, and she was going to have to raise this kid alone. "Say something," She whispered, her gaze still on the bathroom floor. "Please."

"Rachel..." Owen trailed off, he moved a hand to her chin, and tilted her head up to look at him. He smiled and said softly, "We're going to have a baby. You know how happy that makes me?"

Rachel's eyes watered up almost immediately, and she started to cry. He was okay with it? Owen was happy with it? Maybe this would all be okay. She leaned forward, into his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. He kissed the top of Rachel's head and rubbed her back as she cried, unsure of what he should do. "I love you Rachel." He whispered in her ear, which only seemed to make her cry harder.

* * * * * * * * * *

"Welcome to the world Jayden Michael Morello." Rachel whispered looking down at the baby boy in her arms. It was so hard to believe that eight months ago she'd felt such terror at the prospect of having a child. The moment her son was placed in her arms, all her fears disappeared. The fear was replaced with realization and anticipation. She looked at Owen, who sat at the edge of the bed beside her. "He looks just like you."

"I think he looks more like you." Owen smiled, leaning forward and kissing her, before looking down at Jayden.

"You know it's been a year?" Rachel said quietly. "I mean, we've been together a year. Longest relationship I've ever had."

"Babe, it's been longer than a year." Owen replied, confused.

Rachel looked up and smiled. "No, it's been a year. It was last December that you actually referred to me as your girlfriend. To me, that's the day we actually started being a couple."

Owen's response was cut off by Brooke's slightly out-of-breath voice. "I am so sorry it took me so long to get here! I didn't miss anything did I?"

"Only the birth of your nephew." Rachel laughed, looking up at Brooke. "Bitchtoria get in your way?"

"You could say that." Brooke sighed, looking disappointed that she'd missed Jayden's birth. She made her way towards Rachel, Owen and Jayden. "Oh my god you guys, he's gorgeous. Can I hold him?"

"Of course you can, Brooke." Rachel replied, carefully passing her son to her best friend. Her smile remained on her face. Today had been amazing, one of the best days of her life. As she watched Brooke hold Jayden and talk to him, she reached out and took Owen's hand. She'd found the guy for her. The guy that made her happy. The guy who she wanted and would spend the rest of her life with. He'd given her the best gift she could ask for. A beautiful baby boy named Jayden.

* * * * * * * * * *

Jayden was a little over fourteen months now. He was Rachel's pride and joy. Before she'd had him, the thought of children didn't sit well with her. She didn't want kids. But then she held him and all of that changed.

"Gatina!" A voice yelled over the music in the club.

Rachel laughed and looked over her shoulder. "Over here, Meredith!" She yelled back at the blonde making her way through the crowd.

"I'm so glad you could join me tonight!" Meredith grinned, as she hugged Rachel. "It's been over a year since we've gotten to do this and I missed it."

"Sorry, I've been busy with Jayden, we're lucky Owen had the night off tonight, otherwise we would have had to reschedule."

"Reschedule? You kidding? I would have hunted you down, 'cause we've been rescheduling for the past five months." Meredith stated, taking a seat beside Rachel at the bar. "The only time I get to see you is at the photoshoots for Clothes over Bros, and I've got to say for having a kid you look amazing."

"And for being a whore you look amazing." Rachel smirked.

"Funny." Meredith snorted.

"Rachel?" A familiar male voice said from behind her.

Rachel slowly turned, believing she had imagined the voice. Maybe she was losing her mind. Though, once she'd turned she realized that she hadn't imagined that voice. "Yeah?" She hadn't seen that gorgeous face in years.

"You're looking good, Rachel." He smiled at her, and Rachel couldn't help but smile back.

"You are too Cooper."

* * * * * * * * * *

Rachel woke up to the insistent ringing of her cell phone. She groaned rubbing her forehead, as she realized that she was naked lying beside someone who definitely wasn't Owen. What the hell had she done? Sitting up, Rachel leaned over to pick her clothes up off the floor, letting her cell phone ring. As she pulled on her jeans, she felt an arm wrap around her waist. "Where you goin' Rach?" That's when everything came back to her. Oh god. Why had she let herself drink so much- especially around Cooper Lee.

"To get pain killers." Rachel pulled on a shirt and looked over at Cooper. She moved out of Cooper's grasp, and picked up her few belongings on her way out the door. This was bad. So very bad. She had to forget Cooper now, and pretend last night didn't happen, not that she remembered much of it.

Her cell phone went off again and she sighed before answering it. "Hello?"

"Rach, where are you?"

Rachel suddenly felt immense guilt. God, she'd screwed up so incredibly badly. "Sorry, baby. I stayed with Meredith last night. I was going to call but I fell asleep." She lied.

"You on your way home?" As far as Rachel could tell Owen believed her.

"Yeah, I'm going to stop and get coffee." Rachel replied. "How's Jayden, he up yet?"

"Wide awake, wanting his mom."

Rachel smiled to herself. "Give him a kiss for me and let him know I'll be there soon."

"And who's going to give me a kiss from you?"

"Well, you're just going to have to wait till I get home for that." Rachel smirked, though talking to Owen like nothing happened made her feel horrible. She had to tell him, but she knew as soon as she did she'd lose him, and her life would fall apart.

"Better not take too long then." Owen replied. "You going to get me a coffee too?"

Rachel laughed. "Can't you make your own?"

"If you're getting yourself one, I figured why not skip making a pot of coffee."

"Okay, I'll be home in a bit with your coffee, baby."

"See you soon."

"Bye Owen."

"Love you, Rach."

Rachel smiled, though her heart was breaking. "I love you too Owen."

* * * * * * * * * *

"I can't believe you Rachel!"

"Owen, lower your voice, please. I just got Jayden to sleep. You're going to wake him up." Rachel said softly, the fight was out of her. After two months of secrecy she'd finally told him. She'd finally caved and told him everything about what she'd done. Except that the guy that she had cheated on him with was an ex. No one could know that, not even Brooke. They'd been arguing for the past hour about it. Rachel knew she deserved everything that Owen threw at her- verbally of course.

Owen suddenly turned and headed towards their room. Rachel followed. "Owen what are you doing?"

"I'm going to pack my things, as well as some of Jayden's things and go stay with a friend from work." Owen replied not bothering to stop.

"No, Owen, don't." Rachel said, fighting back tears. "It meant nothing Owen, you have to believe me." But a small voice inside Rachel was asking if that was the full truth. Maybe in her drunken stupor she'd gone after Cooper because somewhere deep down she still had feelings for him.

"Believe you?" Owen whirled around to look at her. "You want me to believe you after you cheated on me? You want me to believe you after you spent the past two months keeping it a secret?"

"Owen-"

"No, Rachel. I'm done. I don't want to hear it." Owen replied turning back around and moving into their bedroom.

Rachel followed him into the room. "I'll leave." She said softly.

"What?"

"I'm the one who cheated. I'm the one who did wrong. I'll leave. Jayden's asleep right now, and this apartment is yours not mine. I'll go. You stay." She wanted to cry, but she was trying so hard not to.

"Fine." Was all Owen said before leaving the room.

* * * * * * * * * *

"Owen and Jayden are now settled in Tree Hill."

Rachel looked up at Brooke as she came into the room and sat on the couch. "Good." Rachel said softly. "Thank you Brooke for everything. I mean, I don't know how things would have worked out if it wasn't for you."

"Rach, all I did was help Owen get a job that wasn't in New York, and helped figure out the visitation stuff." Brooke replied.

"But you still did a lot. You helped make this easier for Jayden." Rachel said resting her head on Brooke's shoulder.

Brooke wrapped an arm around Rachel, and rubbed her arm. "Things are going to be okay Rachel."

"How? I cheated on him, and four months later he takes my son and leaves."

"You told him to take Jayden with him."

"I only did it to stop the arguing Brooke." Rachel replied. "It was the only way I knew to make sure things were easier for Jayden."

"Give him time Rachel." Brooke kissed the top of her friends head. "Things are going to be okay." She repeated.

"I hope you're right Brooke." Rachel whispered. "I need you to be right." She didn't want her family to fall apart. She didn't want to lose Jayden or Owen. Yes she'd screwed up. Yes she'd lied to Owen. But she was so incredibly sorry about that. Every day without Owen and Jayden her heart ached, and Rachel felt like she'd never be who she was again.

* * *

AN: I hope you all enjoyed that chapter, and the little insight on Rachel's years since graduation. There will be a chapter like that for Brooke and possibly the others, it's just a matter of making it all fit in nicely. And about Owen being Jayden's dad, I was kind of surprised that it actually surprsied people. A lot of people seemed to think it was Cooper, though I don't blame you. Trust me, Hot Uncle Cooper will be making an appearance other than the small one in this chapter. And as usual I'm open to suggestions, anything you'd like to see, I'll try to make it happen, you just gotta let me know. Just a quick thank you to Long Live BRUCAS, Ravenscircle, brucasever, cRaZyGuRl093, cRiMsOnGoDdEsS01, bella, and PeterpanTinkerbell27 for your reviews. Reading them makes me very happy.


	6. Whatever it Takes

"_**Nobody has all the answers, but we do have all our whys. Like, why did this happen? Why didn't we see it coming? Why do people watch American Idol?"  
**__**~Rachel Gatina**_

Rachel wanted to turn and run. Having to stand there, with her son beside her and look at the man that she'd hurt so bad, killed her inside. She watched as Jayden ran to his father, with a grin. Jayden was so innocent, so clueless to the truth. Rachel had hurt Owen so bad, he'd barely looked at her. He could barely talk to her. Brooke was who kept things in order. She was the one who worked out the arrangements. She'd helped Owen get a job and a place to stay here in Tree Hill, and she'd planned out how visitation would go, because Rachel and Owen both wanted it to be easy on Jayden. They didn't want him to be hurt. Rachel and Owen hadn't been in a room together since the first time Rachel had come to Tree Hill to see Jayden.

That had been when Lucas had been pulled into the drama. She needed a place to stay, and someone to get Jayden so that Owen and herself wouldn't have to interact. The pain and anger between them was too much. Rachel's heart ached looking into Owen's eyes, and she hated herself for what she'd done to him and Jayden.

She watched as Owen crouched down and picked up Jayden. Seeing Owen and Jayden together made her hate herself more. Why did she have to screw up so badly? She'd lost so much because of a moment of bad judgement. A moment that haunted her and she could never forget. Owen had been hurt, and Rachel knew he'd never forgive her. If only she could go back to that night she'd screwed everything up. "I'll go get his stuff for you." Rachel said before quickly disappearing down the hall into Karen's room. The moment she closed the door behind her, she felt the tears start.

Rachel picked up Jayden's small bag from the corner of the room. She glanced around to make sure there was nothing of Jayden's lying around. She'd been so busy packing her own things that she'd forgotten about Jayden's things. Probably because she'd asked Brooke to do it after she left, thinking Owen wouldn't be here until later. As Rachel wiped the tears from her eyes the bedroom door opened. She froze in her spot afraid to turn around.

"Rachel?"

Rachel took a deep breath before turning around and thrusting Jayden's bag into Owen's hand. She looked down at the floor, her long, red hair moving to cover her face. "Here. I'm going to go say goodbye to Jayden."

Owen moved to block the doorway when Rachel made her move to escape. She refused to look at him, because it would hurt more if she did. "We need to talk." Owen stated.

"About what?" Rachel questioned. After a year and a half he finally wanted to talk? It wasn't going to happen, as much as she wished it would. Rachel didn't think she'd be able to handle a talk. "I'm pretty sure everything that needed to be said was said a year and a half ago."

"We can't keep doing this."

"Doing what? Avoiding each other like the plague? I'm pretty sure you started this. Not me."

"Mommy? Daddy?" Jayden's voice came from behind Owen. Rachel thanked every Holy Spirit out there for Jayden's interruption.

Rachel crouched down to eye-level with her son and smiled sadly at him before pulling him into a hug. "I'll be counting down the days until I can see you again." She kissed Jayden's cheek and let go of him. "I love you, Jayden."

"Love you mommy." Jayden replied, kissing her on the cheek.

"Jayden, why don't you go get your aunt Brooke to help you put on your coat and shoes." Owen suggested looking down at Jayden.

"Kay daddy." Jayden nodded before leaving the room.

Rachel watched him go before standing up and wiping at her tears. She knew what was coming. An argument with Owen, one she didn't want to have, because it would remind her of the night he'd found out about her being unfaithful. It would remind her of what she'd lost because of her own stupidity.

"I didn't start anything Rachel." Owen said calmly. Rachel noticed he was avoiding eye contact much like she was. "You did. The night you cheated on me, you started this."

"Owen, how many times do I have to say I'm sorry?"

"Sorry?" Owen let out a bitter laugh. "Sorry would have been acceptable if all you did was kiss the guy, Rach. But you slept with him!"

"I was drunk!"

"Like that's a good enough excuse." Owen shook his head, and Rachel knew he was right. "Why did you do it Rachel?"  
Rachel was taken aback by his question. He hadn't asked it before. Not when he found out about the cheating. Not a week later when she'd stopped by their apartment to see Jayden and get her things. Not a month later when Brooke and herself were there to see Jayden. Not two months later when she'd come to Tree Hill to visit Jayden.

"What, Rach, you don't have an answer for me?" Owen questioned, after Rachel had been silent for a while. "You can't tell me what prompted you to cheat on me?"

"Owen... I..." Rachel sighed. "I was tired, I was upset, I was angry, and I was drunk." And Cooper was there, but she couldn't tell Owen that. He'd hold it against, because he knew all about Rachel's past. Owen would probably determine that she was likely to cheat on him again if one of her exes was around. Even though Rachel knew she wouldn't let it happen. Not again. Cooper had been around at a moment of weakness, there was no way there would be a repeat performance.

Owen shook his head. "That doesn't explain anything Rachel."

"Jayden was fourteen months old." Rachel clarified. "You were always at work Owen, and when you weren't at work, I was at work. We never saw each other, I missed you. I missed you and had no way of telling you because we were both too busy with Jayden and our jobs."

"And that gives you reason to cheat on me?"

"No." Rachel shook her head. "There was no reason to cheat on you. Nothing would ever give me the right to cheat on you. I was upset, and I got drunk. I was so far gone that night that I wasn't thinking straight. And when that guy started to hit on me, I enjoyed it, because he made me feel wanted. You and me had grown so far apart that I craved that attention Owen." Or maybe it had something to do with the fact that the guy that had been hitting on her was one Cooper.

"So, you're blaming me?"

"No! God, no. I'd never blame you Owen." Rachel shook her head. "It was my fault. Everything that happened was MY fault."

_A strangled smile fell from your face  
__It kills me that I hurt you this way  
__The worst part is that I didn't even know  
__Now there's a million reasons for you to go  
__But if you can find a reason to stay_

"Need any help?"

Haley looked up at Peyton with a smile. "Actually, could you chop up the broccoli and cauliflower?"

"Sure thing." Peyton replied before moving to a free spot on the counter, where there were already vegetables clean and sitting on a chopping board.

"So, you talk to Brooke about quitting your job?" Haley questioned, making conversation in the silent kitchen.

"Yeah, I told her before she left to Luke's place."

Haley just nodded as she continued to work on what she was doing. A silence fell between the two of them as they both went to work on dinner. It was Peyton who broke the silence after awhile. "Haley, Lucas is dating, right?"

"Yeah." Haley replied, turning to give Peyton a weird look. What was the blonde getting at exactly? "I told you that already."

"What's she like?" Peyton asked not turning around.

Haley stared at her friend's back silently for a moment. Really? Where was Peyton going with this questioning? "Lindsey's great. She's funny, she's nice. She's good for Lucas."

"Do you think they're going to last, Haley?"

"Peyton stop." Haley shook her head, slowly figuring out what Peyton was doing. "Please, tell me you're not back in Tree Hill because of him. Please tell me you're here because you wanted to come with Brooke. Not because you wanted to get Lucas back."

Peyton turned to look at her, and Haley could tell she'd been right. "At first it wasn't it, but then I saw him and... Haley I love him."

"You said no."

Peyton shook her head. "I said someday!"

Haley sighed. "Peyton, leave Lucas alone, okay? I don't care if you still love him. You're my friend, but he's my best friend. I will always side with him. He was miserable when he came back after you turned him down. God, Peyton. He was a mess. Then Lindsey came into his life helping with his book, and he got happier." She watched her friend's face fall. "It's not that he got completely over you Peyton, I don't think he ever will. It's that he was able to move on, after such a heart break. If you really do love him Peyton, you'd leave him alone, and let him be happy."

Haley watched as Peyton turned her back to her and said nothing. Great. She'd pissed off one of her good friends. Haley sighed again, and turned back to what she was doing. She hadn't been able to help it; Tree Hill didn't need the drama of another love triangle involving Lucas Scott. After high school, Haley didn't want to be caught in that place again. It definitely wasn't a pleasant place. Especially when all parties involved were your friends.

_I'll do whatever it takes  
__To turn this around  
__I know what's at stake  
__I know that I've let you down  
__And if you give me a chance  
__Believe that I can change  
__I'll keep us together  
__Whatever it takes_

Brooke flinched when she heard Rachel's voice get louder. She glanced down the hall at the, now, closed bedroom door before looking back at Lucas and Jayden. She should have known Owen's presence while Rachel was still here would result in this. It wasn't fair to Jayden. "Jayden, what do you say you and me go outside for a bit, while Lucas works on dinner?"

"Can we watch cartoons instead?" Jayden questioned tilting his head. "I don't wanna go outside."

"Sure thing." Brooke smiled, at least they could drown out the raised voices coming from down the hall with the tv. She watched Jayden grin, and jump off of the chair before heading into the living room. She'd helped him put his coat and shoes on awhile ago, but the moment the bedroom door had closed, Brooke decided the poor kid didn't need to sit roasting in the coat. So, Brooke had taken off Jayden's shoes and coat and gotten him to sit at the table with her.

Brooke turned to follow, but Lucas' voice stopped. "Should one of us go in there, and stop them before they kill each other?"

She turned back around to look at Lucas. "No. They need to work this out themselves. They've been avoiding this moment for a year and a half. We just have to hope they don't go as far as killing each other." Brooke didn't think it'd get too bad, at least she hoped it wouldn't escalate any further. The yelling was already loud enough. "For all we know if one of us went in there to break it up, we could walk in on them having angry sex."

Lucas' nose wrinkled. "God, I hope not. That's my mom's bed. It's wrong on so many levels."

Brooke laughed. "Don't worry about it Broody, I'm sure they'll just use the floor."

"Cause that's so much better."

Brooke turned back around with a small laugh and headed towards the living room. "Stop thinking about it and hurry up with dinner, I'm starving!" She called over her shoulder, before collapsing onto the couch beside Jayden. "So what cartoon do you want to watch handsome?" She asked as she started to channel surf.

Jayden shrugged, as he climbed onto Brooke's lap. "It doesn't matter Auntie Brooke. Anything funny."

"How about, Scooby Doo?" Brooke questioned as she came across the cartoon.

"That works." Jayden nodded, leaning back against her.

Brooke smiled, and kissed the top of the young boy's head. Jayden and Jamie both meant the world to her. They made her want her own children so bad. She wanted a family. She wanted love.

"Auntie Brooke?"

"Yeah, Jayden?"

"Are mommy and daddy gonna stop yelling soon?" Jayden asked softly.

Brooke sighed, wrapping her arms around him and kissing his cheek. "I hope so, buddy."

_She said if we're gonna make this work  
__You gotta let me inside even though it hurts  
__Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see  
__She said like it or not it's the way it's gotta be  
__You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me_

Nathan sat on the couch, a smile on his face as he played the latest playstation3 basketball game with his son. It was times like this that he felt like life couldn't get any better. Spending time with his son made any bad day better.

"I win! I win!" Jamie grinned at him, obviously very proud of himself.

"Yeah, you did buddy." Nathan smiled at his son. "When did you get so good?"

Jamie shrugged. "I dunno. It comes naturally."

Nathan couldn't help but laugh slightly. Jamie was definitely his son. Everyone might joke about how Jamie looked an awful lot like Lucas, but it was clear Jamie was Nathan's son. Jamie was going to be a heartbreaker when he was older. Nathan just hoped he didn't fully take after him, because he wasn't too proud of the guy he use to be. Haley had made him a better person. Hell, she was still making him a better person, just like Jamie was.

"Can we play another game?" Jamie questioned looking up at him.

"Yes we can Jim-Jam." Nathan smiled at him. "But take it easy on me this time would you?"

Jamie looked like he was pondering the idea. "I guess I can, but that doesn't mean you're gonna win again. I've got my lucky cape."

Nathan glanced at Jamie's red cape. Haley had made it for him not too long ago and he wore the cape the majority of the time. "I guess I'm going to have to try harder this time then."

"Boys! Dinner's almost done, you better go in the bathroom and clean up." Haley's voice floated through the living room, from the kitchen.

"One more game, momma." Jamie pleaded.

Nathan smiled. "Yeah, one more game, momma."

There was silence for a minute. Nathan was guessing, Haley was thinking over the option. "One more game. And one more game only you guys." Haley replied from the kitchen.

"Okay." Nathan and Jamie replied in unison, before they turned their attention to the television. Nathan glanced at Jamie briefly before looking back at the television. Today had definitely been a good day.

_I'll do whatever it takes  
__To turn this around  
__I know what's at stake  
__I know that I've let you down  
__And if you give me a chance  
__And give me a break  
__I'll keep us together  
__Whatever it takes_

Rachel wiped at her eyes, as she attempted to glare at Owen. The yelling had gotten louder at one point, they'd both been pretty much repeating the same things, and she was getting sick of it. She could tell that Owen was getting sick of it too. "I think we're done." Rachel stated. "I have to catch my flight." She turned and picked her duffle bag up off of the bed.

"Rachel..." Owen trailed off, causing Rachel to shake her head.

"Owen, you're still mad. I get it okay? And I'm still sorry." She turned to face him again, blinking back the fresh tears that threatened to fall. "Nothing's going to change. We can yell at each other for another hour if you want, but it'll all still be the same. Yelling is getting us nowhere and it's not fair to Jayden, who I know heard us." Rachel shook her head the last thing she wanted for her son was to hear his parents argue. She'd had to put up with it, and it wasn't pleasant.

Owen was silent as he looked at her, and in unnerved Rachel. She shook her head and started talking again. "I'm going to go. I'll see you next week for Jayden's birthday, at least we got the yelling out of our systems now. Because doing this on Jayden's birthday would have just been cruel."

With duffle bag and purse in hand, Rachel headed for the bedroom door, but she was stopped by Owen's hand on her arm. Her heart jumped in her chest as she looked down at it. After a second she pulled away from him. "What do you want from me Owen?" She asked softly, looking up at him- his brown eyes pulling her in.

"I can't promise I'm going to forgive you Rachel."

Rachel shook her head. "I don't expect you to." She looked away and opened the bedroom door. Stepping into the hall she called out, "Jay, baby, it's time for me to go. You gonna give me another hug and kiss goodbye?"

"Of course mommy." Her son replied, as he jumped off the couch and ran towards her. Rachel smiled and crouched down, taking her son into her arms. She kissed his cheek, and pulled Jayden a little closer.

"I'm gonna miss you baby."

"I'm going to miss you too." Jayden kissed her cheek. "I love you."

"Love you too Jayden. Be good for daddy, and drive your aunt Brooke crazy for me, okay?"

Jayden nodded as she pulled away. She kissed his cheek again before standing up. Rachel looked at Brooke, still sitting on the couch. "Thanks for leaving me to deal with your mom by the way Brooke."

"Hey, I figured, since I've had to deal with her my whole life it's only fair." Brooke shrugged. "I'll see you later Rach."

"Yeah." Rachel nodded. "Bye Luke!" She called out before leaving the house, not waiting for a response back. Rachel headed to her car and opened the trunk. It was then something hit her. She still had a joint in her purse. There was no way she'd get through airport security with it. As Rachel got into the car she pondered what she was going to do with it. Smoking it wasn't a good idea. She'd already made the promise to herself to stop for her son.

Rachel bit her lip as she started the car, she was going to have to think of what to do with it as she drove to the airport. She glanced back at Lucas' house and saw Jayden looking out the window. Smiling she waved to him, he eagerly waved back as Owen came up behind him and picked him up. She looked away and pulled away from the curb. She'd stop some random place and throw out the joint. Sure it was money down the drain, but it wasn't like she had a limited amount of money.

_I know you deserve much better  
__Remember the time I told you the way that I felt  
__And that I'd be lost without you and never find myself  
__Let's hold onto each other above everything else  
__Start over, start over_

Lucas got up from the dinner table and started clearing it. "Oh, Luke!" He turned to Brooke and saw her jump out of her seat. "Don't do that. You cooked, me and Jayden'll clean up." She glanced over at Jayden. "I wash, you dry?"

Jayden nodded happily, getting up from his seat as well.

"You don't have to Brooke, you're the guest." Lucas protested. Brooke had insisted that Jayden and Owen stay for dinner after Rachel left. Lucas was pretty sure Brooke was trying to get Owen to tell her the full details on the fight they'd had.

"Don't be silly, Broody. It's only fair." Brooke said, taking the plate out of his hand. She collected the other plates and dishes and looked at Jayden again. "Alright handsome, let's go wash the dishes."

Lucas sat back down as he watched Brooke head over to the sink, lifting Jayden up onto the counter and giving him a towel to dry dishes with.

"So, um, thanks for putting up with me, Rachel, and our problems." Owen's voice made Lucas turn his attention away from Brooke and Jayden.

"It's no problem." Lucas shrugged. Owen and himself had spent time together in the past year and a half. Playing basketball and video games with the other guys, so it was weird to hear this 'thank you' from him. "I'm glad I could be of help."

"I don't know why you do it." Owen shook his head. "I mean, in the beginning you didn't even know me, and I know you probably weren't the biggest fan of Rachel's. As far as I understand, she made quite the impression on this town, leaving it with strained relationships."

Lucas looked at Owen and sighed. "You want the truth?" Owen nodded. "I did it for Brooke. She called me and asked me to help her out by finding you a job here and acting as a mediator after Rachel's first visit to town." Lucas had agreed, and at the time Brooke had said it would only be once or twice, until Rachel found an apartment to rent out. But that never happened. Instead, Rachel just kept coming to his house and crashing there for a couple of days.

Lucas noticed a smirk come to Owen's lips. "The things we do for women. Eventually it'll lead to our demise, no doubt."

"I definitely wouldn't be surprised." Lucas laughed. He waited a few minutes before asking, "So, you and Rachel, what's going on with you guys?"

"Now? We're trying to work things out for Jayden's sake. I think right now, that's just about the only thing we can agree on."

Lucas nodded. "I knew Rachel in high school, as you know. She's changed, a lot since then, Owen. I know she cheated on you, but, that was a year and a half ago. I'm thinking it might be about time you forgave her."

"You always stick your nose in other people's business?" Owen questioned.

"Owen, be nice." Brooke said as she came back to the table. "Your son is present." She glanced over her shoulder. "Jayden, why don't you go watch some more cartoons. The adults need to talk a bit."

Lucas watched as Jayden nodded, and disappeared into the living room. Well, this should be interesting. Brooke was going to try to convince Owen to forgive Rachel, at least that's what Lucas figured she was going to do.

Brooke sat down in the seat she'd vacated to do the dishes. She looked over at Owen as she said, "I agree with Lucas, Owen. You need to forgive her. What she did was horrible, we all know that. And we all agree that you made the right choice in leaving her. But just because you forgive her doesn't mean you guys have to get back together."  
"Brooke, I don't think any of this is your business. Just like it's not Lucas', or anyone else's for that matter. It's between me and Rachel, and it'll stay there." Owen replied.

"Rachel is one of my best friends, and Jayden is not only my 'nephew' but also one of my godsons. When it comes to his well being, it is damn well my business." Lucas looked at Brooke, as she spoke, and could see the frustration flashing in her eyes. She'd do anything to make Owen see things her way. "Forgiving her will make things less awkward. It'll make things easier for Jayden. If you guys didn't have him, I'd understand the two of you never speaking again. But he's your little boy. He needs his parents to be civil to each other. What was overheard today, wasn't right, and you know that Owen. Forgive Rachel for your son."

Owen shook his head and stood up. "I don't have time for this. I have to go." He headed into the living room, and Lucas heard him tell Jayden to come say goodbye.

Jayden came running into the kitchen. "Bye Uncle Lucas."

Lucas smiled, "Bye, Jay. I will see you later." He reached out and ruffled the boy's hair, before he ran over to Brooke.

"Bye, Auntie Brooke." Lucas watched Jayden give Brooke a quick hug.

"Bye, Jay-bear. You be good, and I'll see you later. You, me, and Jamie are gonna go to the park again."

"I like that idea." Jayden grinned before leaving the kitchen.

It wasn't long before the sound of the front door opening and closing filtered through the house. Lucas sighed and glanced at Brooke. "I'm sure he'll eventually forgive her. I mean, you forgave me and Peyton eventually."

"Yeah, but Owen's stubborn as hell, just like Rachel." Brooke shook her head. "I just want them to get along again for Jayden. That little boy deserves to have them be civil to each other.

"I know." Lucas replied. He knew that Brooke couldn't stand seeing broken families. She wanted everyone to be happy, and most of the time it seemed that she'd sacrifice her own happiness for that. And it wasn't fair. She deserved so much more. "And for the record, you're stubborn as hell too."

_I'll do whatever it takes  
__To turn this around  
__I know what's at stake  
__I know that I've let you down  
__And if you give me a chance  
__Believe that I can change  
__I'll keep us together  
__Whatever it takes_

* * *

AN: I love your feedback you guys. And I love the fact that I can still spring surprises on you. So for this fic I've been trying to have at least two-three chapters done ahead of what I post, the one that I put up last week was written months ago, and orginally Cooper wasn't anywhere near to making an appearance. Then, me and a friend of mine started talking, and pulling apart the chapter and she made the comment that I should throw Cooper into the mix, so I did. And the reaction I got was awesome. He will be making another appearance, just not for a while... unless I run out of ideas and need to throw him into the mix earlier than I intend. Anyway, I want to thank ravencheerleader, Ravenscircle, cRiMsOnGoDdEsS01, cRaZyGuRl093, bella, and Long Live BRUCAS for your reviews, I love getting them, helps me focus a bit better on making my fic even better. Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Don't forget to leave me a review.


	7. I Wanna Be a Kennedy

"_**Sometimes I feel incredibly disconnected, uncomfortable in my own skin. Or kind of like I don't fit into this world. Like I was born at the wrong time and I don't belong."  
**__**~ Haley James-Scott**_

Haley ran a hand through her short brown hair. It had been a long week, trying to get ready for this party. Why she'd decided to take it upon herself to do this, Haley wasn't exactly sure. At least she had Brooke here to help her out. It probably didn't help that on top of the party planning and getting ready to take on an actual class come the second semester of school, Nathan and herself had been interviewing possible nannies. Haley figured they needed one. With her teaching a full class on her own, and Nathan helping out with coaching as well as training to get back into the NBA, they needed someone to keep an eye on Jamie. There were only so many days he could come to the school and sit quietly in the back as Haley taught, or Nathan coached. Brooke had offered to keep an eye on him, but who knew how long she would be in town for. Owen had offered as well, but he was usually busy with work and had other friends watching Jayden for him. Things were just difficult. They needed a nanny.

"Teacher-mom!" Brooke's voice rang through the house.

Haley sighed and headed downstairs, with an armful of laundry from the bedroom. "Yeah, Tigger?"

"I got the balloons, and the cake." Brooke grinned at her.

"Brooke, its ten in the morning, the party isn't for another four hours. You do know you could have gotten that later, right?"

Brooke shrugged. "You never know what kind of problems you might run into. I figured, might as well get a jump start on it."

"Does your eagerness and constant movement today have anything to do with the fact that you haven't heard from Rachel since Sunday night?" Haley asked with a raised eyebrow, as she walked past Brooke, to the small laundry room.

Brooke sighed, looking up at Haley. "Is it that obvious?"

"You were up at eight this morning, and I heard you leave another voice mail message for Rachel." Haley mused, as she started loading the washing machine. "And after that you disappeared and kept calling me, asking if I had anything I needed you to do. You're obviously trying to keep preoccupied."

"I just don't get it Haley. She promised Jayden she'd come today. And she was looking forward to it. I know she was." Brooke sighed. "But she hasn't been answering any of my text messages or phone calls, and I called Owen last night, and he said Jayden hasn't talked to her since Monday night. I called Millie too, and she said the last time she saw Rachel was Tuesday morning. What if something happened to her?"

Haley turned and looked at Brooke with soft eyes. "Brooke, I don't think you have anything to worry about. Maybe she's been a little busy? I'm sure she'll be here today. You told me already that she wouldn't miss Jayden's birthday for the world."

"That was before her big fight with Owen. What if he scared her away?"

"This is Rachel Gatina we're talking about. She's not going to let a guy scare her away. And for all either of us know, that fight they had helped work things out."

"I hope you're right Haley." Brooke sighed. "I just don't want to see that little boy disappointed. He's looking forward to Rachel being here."

Haley closed the washing machine door, before moving over to Brooke, and placing her hands on Brooke's shoulders. "Rachel will be here Brooke. Don't worry so much, because soon I'm going to start worrying. And we don't want that."

Brooke sighed and nodded. "I'm going to try calling her again."

Before Haley could protest the idea, Brooke had turned on her heels and left the laundry room. She shook her head and turned back to the washing machine where she pressed a few buttons to start the cycle. There was no point in arguing with Brooke, she was going to do what she wanted to do, there was no stopping her. Haley understood that Brooke was worried about Rachel. The two had oddly become really close friends over the years. In a way it made a lot of sense, the two were more alike than they appeared to be, at least that was what Haley had learnt over the years.

"Momma!"

Haley turned around and smiled at the sight of Jamie running towards her. "Jamie!" She bent down and scooped her four-year-old son into her arms. Haley kissed his cheek before asking, "Did you have fun with your dad?" It may be early in the day, but Nathan had taken Jamie to the Rivercourt for a bit. Jamie had woken them both up bright and early. Nathan had figured he'd just help go waste a bit of their son's energy, before this afternoon when he'd be hyped up on sugar with even more energy.

"I always have fun with daddy." Jamie replied with a grin, his blue eyes shining.

"Yeah Haley, Jamie always has fun with me." Nathan's voice came from behind her, and before she got the chance to turn around, his arms wrapped around her, and he kissed her cheek.

_I wanna be a Kennedy  
__I wanna be a big heartbreaker  
__Live fast and for real  
__And you can follow it in the papers  
__I wanna be a Kennedy  
__I wanna shake hands with heroes  
__And Kiss the girls of centerfolds on the tongue  
__And die young_

"Come on Luke, time to get up." Lucas smiled to himself at the sound of Lindsey's voice. He kept his eyes closed and pulled her towards himself. He didn't want to get up quite yet. Sleep sounded a lot better to Lucas than getting up and motivated at the moment. He knew he had things to do, but it could wait until later for the most part. He had time to procrastinate didn't he?

"Five more minutes." He mumbled sleepily.

Lindsey's laugh, made Lucas' smile grow just a bit. "You said that an hour ago, Luke. It's ten thirty and you still have to have a shower and get ready to go. You did promise Haley that you would be there at eleven thirty."

Lucas sighed, keeping his eyes closed. "That's an hour away. Just five more minutes." He murmured, slowly falling asleep again.

"I don't think so." Lindsey poked his side. "Get up Luke, you can sleep in longer tomorrow."

"Promise?" Lucas questioned, keeping his eyes closed.

"I promise. Now get up." Lindsey laughed, placing a brief kiss on his lips before pulling away.

Lucas forced himself to open his eyes. He turned his head to look at Lindsey, who was getting out of the bed. "You sure we can't have just five more minutes?"

Lindsey turned and smiled at him. "Five more minutes past a long time ago, Lucas. It's almost ten thirty-five now." She leaned over and kissed him again. "You can sleep all day tomorrow if you want."

"Okay, I'm getting up." Lucas yawned before stretching slightly, and slowly sitting up. He wasn't a big morning person some days.

"Good." Lindsey smiled. "You go have your shower and I'll go make a fresh pot of coffee for you." She said, before heading for the bedroom door.

"How long have you been up for anyway?" Lucas questioned as he watched his girlfriend.

Lindsey shrugged. "About an hour or two. I got a call from work I needed to go over a book tour for one of our clients. Which reminds me, we're going to eventually have to talk about your next novel. You aren't going to be able to avoid the topic forever."

"I'm not avoiding the topic." Lucas protested, shaking his head slightly. He wasn't lying exactly. Sure he tried not to talk about it, but he wasn't avoiding anything. He wasn't done the book yet. In fact, he hadn't exactly started it yet. Instead, he'd been staring at a blank page for months, trying to figure out what to write. A sequel? A brand new story? There were so many choices. "We'll talk about it after the party this afternoon."

"Alright. Now shower up." Lindsey smiled at him before leaving the bedroom.

Lucas sighed and glanced over at where his laptop sat on the desk in the corner of the room. They'd talk about the lack of ideas, and his inability to write. He just hoped he'd be hit with an idea soon. Everyone seemed to have such faith in him. They all seemed to believe he'd have another best seller, and that the ideas would just come to him. Personally, Lucas didn't see another book coming out of him any time soon. It almost seemed impossible.

_I'll be brave tonight  
__Either live or die  
__I'll be brave tonight  
__Standing tall and bright  
__Such romantic eyes  
__Got me hypnotized  
__And if I had my chance I'd never let you go  
__And if I had my chance I'd never let you go_

Peyton lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. Since getting to Tree Hill, she hadn't been in the same room as Lucas for longer than ten minutes, which was going to make this afternoon hard. Lucas was going to be at the house for most of the afternoon because of the birthday party. She didn't know if she'd be able to sit there with him meters away and pretend everything was going to be okay. Peyton could always slip out of the house while no one was looking and go for a walk. But the moment Brooke found out she'd be all over her case. Peyton loved Brooke. She was her best friend. But sometimes Brooke could be a little overwhelming, at least for Peyton.

The fact that Lucas was bringing Lindsey made it even worse for Peyton. She was going to have to sit in the same room as Lucas and his new 'love'. He couldn't really be serious about Lindsey, could he? After all Lucas had proposed to her. He had to still love her. He had to still be willing to take her back.

A knock on the door pulled Peyton out of her thoughts. "Yeah?"

The door opened and Brooke popped her head in. "Hey, P. Sawyer , we could really use your help downstairs setting up and everything. But don't worry, all the heavy lifting is Nate's job until Lucas gets here to help."

"Alright, B. Davis, I'll be right now." Peyton smiled and watched as Brooke nodded and left, closing the door behind her.

Peyton sighed, and forced herself to get up off of the bed. Setting up would be a good distraction until Lucas got here. And then maybe she'd be able to disappear for a little bit. Find some other task to do while everyone else worked on setting up. She picked up her cell phone from the night stand and slid in into her pocket as she left the room. Heading downstairs she heard laughing, and a bit of music playing.

"Momma are we going to play rockband?" Jamie's voice reached Peyton's ears and she couldn't help but smile. That little boy was a cutie and was going to be breaking hearts in no time.

"This afternoon you can do whatever you want Jim Jam." It was Nathan who had answered Jamie's question. Peyton walked into the living room to see Nathan helping Brooke put on a banner as Haley and Jamie stood back watching.

"Whatever I want?" Jamie questioned.

Peyton watched Haley look down at Jamie. "Well, not whatever. There are going to be things you can't do."

"Like what?"

Haley smiled. "Well for one, you aren't going to be allowed to tell Jayden what he's getting for his birthday before he opens the present."

Jamie's nose wrinkled. "Momma, I only did that once, and I was little then."

Nathan laughed and looked over his shoulder at his son. "Jamie, that was last year."

"I know. I was three then. I'm four now. It's a big difference daddy."

"Yeah, Nate, you should know that." Peyton said finally speaking up as she crossed her arms at her chest.

"It's about time you came down to help P. Sawyer." Brooke said cutting Nathan off from replying.

"Brooke, you were just upstairs to come get me to help you. I didn't take _that_ long." Peyton protested shaking her head at her best friend.

Brooke rolled her eyes. "Well, it felt like it took forever. Does this look straight to you?"

"Brooke, if you make me move this banner one more time, I'm through with helping you." Nathan stated, looking over at her.

"It looks perfect Brooke." Peyton smiled. "Leave it where it is."

Brooke sighed, taking a step back to look at it. "Okay. I guess it can stay there."

"Hello?" A familiar male voice called out. Peyton froze. Lucas.

"Uncle Lucas!" Jamie grinned running out of the living room towards Lucas.

For Peyton, things just got awkward. If Lucas was here that meant that Lindsey was here, and she didn't want to be in the same room with the both of them. It was like they were rubbing their relationship in her face.

_I wanna be a Kennedy  
__I wanna be a tall and handsome  
__I'd conquer the world  
__And you'd see me on television  
__If I could be a Kennedy  
__If I could be a big heartbreaker  
__I'd watch you crash into my arms  
__With the stars under the barrel of a gun  
__We die young_

Nathan laughed as he watched his brother and son play Rockband. Lucas had only played a few times, which was currently quite clear to everyone in the room. Lucas claimed he was better at Guitar Hero, though Nathan doubted that. "Uncle Luke you suck." Jamie suddenly stated, exactly what was going through Nathan's mind.

"James Lucas Scott, don't say things like that." Haley said as she came back into the living room. "Your uncle doesn't suck, he is just rockband challenged."

"'Cause that sounds so much better Haley." Lucas shook his head.

"Hey, buddy, you aren't even suppose to be playing Rockband right now. You are supposed to be helping us finish setting up and getting things ready." Haley replied. "And you," She turned to face Nathan, "Are supposed to be helping too."

"I was just going to tell Lucas to stop playing games, so we can help you lovely ladies." Nathan replied.

"Uh huh, I'm sure." Haley replied. "Jamie why don't you go feed Chester, and make sure your rooms clean. You can beat your Uncle Lucas at Rockband later."

Jamie sighed. "I guess I can."

"Good. Go." Haley said.

Nathan watched as Jamie sighed, and put down the small guitar before heading upstairs. He turned to his wife and asked, "So, what would you like Luke and I to do?"

"One of you can start by talking to Brooke, she's freaking out. The other can go grab the portable table from the garage and set it up in here." Haley said before heading back into the kitchen.

Nathan sighed and looked at his brother. "Which two of the options would you like Luke?"

"I'll...uh... go talk to Brooke." Lucas replied with a small shrug.

Nathan couldn't help but wonder if that was a good idea. Currently, Lucas' two ex-girlfriends and girlfriend were under the same roof. Was it really a wise idea for him to go talk to one of his ex-girlfriends that he had claimed to love? Oh well, it was Lucas' decision to make, not anyone else's. "Okay, you go do that Luke." Part of Nathan couldn't help but wonder if Lucas still had feelings for Brooke, or even Peyton. He felt the start of a love triangle seeping into Tree Hill again.

"Have fun finding that table." Lucas said before leaving the living room.

"I know exactly where it is." Nathan called after his brother. At least he hoped he was right about the table's whereabouts, because he didn't want to spend the next hour trying to find it. Especially when the party was starting in less than an hour, Haley would be pissed.

Nathan turned the playstation 3 and television off, as he made his way through the living room towards the garage door. When he got through the door he spotted Peyton sitting on one of the plastic chairs that they had stored away. "Peyton? What are you doing in here? I thought you were in the kitchen with the others."

The blonde looked up at him. "I'm just thinking..." She trailed off with a small shrug.

"Just thinking?" Nathan questioned with a raised eyebrow as he moved closer to her, scanning the garage for the table.

Peyton sighed and was silent for a moment, almost like she was trying to think about what to say. "It's hard Nathan." She stated suddenly. "Seeing Lucas with Lindsey and both of them being so happy. It's hard to know that, that could be me."

And suddenly Nathan saw the possible love triangle disappear. In his mind it got replaced with something a whole lot more complicated. "Peyton you made your choice and Lucas made his. He moved on after you turned him down, you can't expect him to welcome you with open arms, and everything to go back to how it use to be."

Peyton shook her head, "You sound like Haley."

"Probably because Haley and I saw the exact same thing." Nathan sighed, moving a couple boxes around. "Lucas was a wreck. And then Lindsey came along. It took him awhile, but eventually he was happy again. We don't want to see Luke get hurt again." He glanced over at Peyton. "So please, Peyt, leave him be. Stick with a friendship, nothing else."

Nathan moved another box, and pulled the portable table away from the wall. "I'll see you inside." He told Peyton before picking up the table, and heading back into the house. He moved into the living room, and unfolded the legs, before propping the table up.

"Kay Hales, table is set up. What else do you want me to do?" Nathan called out to his wife, as he headed towards the kitchen, knowing she'd be in there. He glanced briefly at the clock hanging on the wall, Owen and Jayden would be here soon, and the guests would be arriving in no time.

_I'll be brave tonight  
__Either live or die  
__I'll be brave tonight  
__Standing tall and bright  
__Such romantic eyes  
__Got me hypnotized  
__And if I had my chance I'd never let you go  
__And if I had my chance I'd never let you go  
__And if I had my chance I'd never let you go_

Lucas headed out to the back yard, where Haley told him Brooke had disappeared to. As he got closer, it was clear that she was on the phone, so he remained silent, until she was done not wanting to interrupt.

"Rachel Virginia Gatina, this is in no way funny anymore." Brooke's voice snapped, and it didn't take Lucas long to realize Brooke was leaving the redhead a voicemail message, and probably not the first one of the day. "Where the hell are you? Your son's birthday party starts in less than an hour and you are nowhere in sight! Not to mention you haven't called me all week. You need to call me as soon as you get this. You need to let me know where you are. I'm getting worried Rachel."

Lucas watched Brooke close her cell phone and slip it into her pocket. "You okay, Brooke?" He questioned.

Brooke jumped, clearly startled, and turned around to face him. She placed a hand on her chest and said, "God, Luke, don't do that to me. You almost gave me a heart attack."

"Sorry. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Hales said you were freaking out."

"Only a little, nothing to worry about." Brooke replied with a shrug, before sitting down on one of the lawn chairs. "I just...Rachel hasn't returned any of my calls all week. And I know I sound like an over protective mother or something, but I can't help it. I'm just really worried about her."

Lucas sat down on the other lawn chair and looked at Brooke. "Everything's going to be fine. Rachel will probably walk through that door five minutes late, because she wants to make an entrance. And she just hasn't returned your calls because she wants to drive you insane."

Brooke shook her head. "I want to believe you Luke, I do. But my gut is telling me something isn't right, and I can't help but be worried because of it."

"Well, how about we try to find a way to keep your mind off it for now? Because I'm sure everything is going to be fine. The more you focus on it the worse that feeling is going to get."

Brooke didn't get a chance to reply. Instead Jayden's voice interrupted them. "Auntie Brooke! Uncle Lucas!" he exclaimed as he ran towards them with a grin.

"There's the birthday boy." Brooke smiled at him. "Come here." She held her arms open to him, and Jayden ran into them. She kissed his cheek. "How does it feel to be three-years-old?"

"Like bein' two." Jayden replied. "Is mommy here yet?"

Brooke glanced at Lucas briefly, before turning her attention back to the little boy. "Not yet buddy."

"Then where is she? She said she was gonna be here."

Brooke looked at Lucas again, and he decided to jump in. "Your mom is on her way. Her plane was delayed a bit, and she's really sorry she isn't here yet."

"Oh. I hope she comes soon. I miss her."

"And your mommy misses you lots." Brooke replied, putting Jayden back down. "Now why don't you go play inside. I think Jamie's up in his room."

Jayden nodded before running back into the house. Lucas looked over at Brooke who looked worse than she had moments ago. "Rachel's going to be here Brooke." He said softly, not knowing how else to really reassure Brooke.

"I hope so Luke, I really do." Brooke replied shaking her head. "Because I don't want to have to lie to that little boy. It's not fair to him."

"You're not going to have to lie to him Brooke. Rachel will be here." Lucas told her. "Now, what do you say we head back inside and help Haley with the last minute things, before the rests of the guests get here?"

"You go in." Brooke replied looking up at him. "I'm just going to try Rachel one last time, and then I'll join you."

"Alright, if you're sure."

"I am. Go inside." Brooke smiled. "I'll be there soon."

Lucas nodded, before standing up and heading inside. While Brooke worried about Rachel, Lucas couldn't help but worry a little bit about Brooke. She always put everyone ahead of herself, always trying to make sure they were happy, not fully thinking about herself. He just wished she'd start putting her happiness ahead of everyone else's, and stop worrying so much.

"Everything okay?"

Lucas turned his head and smiled at his girlfriend. "Yeah, everything's okay. Brooke's just worried about Rachel because she isn't here and hasn't called her back."

Lindsey nodded and moved towards him, giving him a small kiss. Lucas couldn't help but smile. Lindsey was understanding. Most women wouldn't be too happy about their boyfriend going outside to talk to one of his ex-girlfriends, especially an ex-girlfriend that was the focus of half a book he wrote. "Haley needs our help moving a few things." Lindsey stated.

"Alright, let's go do that." Lucas smiled, wrapping an arm around Lindsey's waist, as they headed towards the living room, where Haley appeared to be instructing Nathan and Owen to move the couch. This afternoon was definitely going to be interesting, and quite possibly filled with a lot of drama. Not only were both his ex-girlfriends there while his girlfriend was, but Rachel and Owen were going to be in one place all afternoon. Of course, that would be if Rachel showed up.

_I'll be brave tonight  
__I'll be brave tonight  
__I'll be brave tonight  
__I'll be brave tonight  
__I'll be brave tonight  
__I'll be brave tonight  
__And if I had my chance I'd never let you go_

* * *

_AN: Thank you so much for the reviews guys. They mean a lot to me. This chapter was a little shorter than I hoped, and I'm not very fond of it, but it's my attempt at moving the story along better. The next chapter will be better and longer, promise. Anyway, I'd like to thank Ravenscircle, cRiMsOnGoDdEsS01, cRaZyGuRl093, centuryshorty, Long Live BRUCAS, bella, brucasever, and ravencheerleader. You guys are great. Hopefully you guys likes this chapter better than I do. Don't forget to leave a review. :) _


	8. Does He Love You? pt1

"_**There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroad, afraid, confused, without a roadmap. The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days. Of course when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back."  
**__**~ Lucas Scott**_

Lucas looked around himself. The house was full of kids six and under running around and adults talking to each other. They were twenty minutes into the party and still there was no sign of Rachel. Lucas was pretty sure he had seen Brooke disappear a few times, probably off to call the red head. He hadn't seen much of Peyton since he'd gotten there, which was probably a good thing. Lindsey was worried about them being there, that much was clear to Lucas. As understanding as Lindsey was, having Brooke and Peyton there in the same house, made her uncomfortable.

"Hey Luke!"

Lucas looked up and smiled as he saw one of his good friends walk up. "Skills, you finally made it, good to see. Jamie and Jayden were beginning to wonder if you forgot about them." He said with a smile. It was true for the most part. Both Jamie and Jayden loved Skills, and had been asking about his whereabouts, of course Jayden had been asking about his mother's whereabouts a lot more. The red head was going to have a lot of questions to answer when she showed up- if she showed up.

"Me forget about them? Not possible." Skills smirked. "I just had a small hold up. And I wasn't that late."

"Uncle Skills!" Jamie exclaimed with a grin, running towards them, keeping Lucas from replying to Skill's last comment.

"Hey, big man James." Skills smiled down at the blonde four-year-old.

"Come play Rockband with us. Please?" Jamie looked up at him, with his big blue eyes.

"Since ya said, please, I can't say no, now can I?" Skills questioned, and Jamie shook his head. "Kay, then let's go play." He said before looking back at Lucas. "I'll talk to you later, man."

Lucas nodded. "Have fun Skills."

He watched Skills walk away with Jamie, and couldn't help but smile. Skills was great with Jamie and Jayden. In fact he was good with all kids. He always seemed to want to take Jamie and Jayden out to the park, or out for ice cream. Lucas was pretty sure that Skills had some ulterior motives, which involved picking up chicks. Not that that was a bid deal or anything.

Lucas' gaze moved to across the room to where Lindsey was talking to Haley. He smiled at her, and she smiled back. He loved her. At least he was pretty sure what he felt for her was love. Of course, it wasn't the same as what he'd felt for Brooke and Peyton. Sure there was part of Lucas wondering if what he felt for Lindsey was really love. But, he pushed past that thought. It had to be love. What else could it really be? He would always love Brooke, just like he would always love Peyton. Right now though, Lindsey was the woman who had wormed her way into his heart.

He moved through the room to the kitchen, to get himself a drink. As he entered the kitchen, he stopped mid step when he saw Peyton sitting on the counter, picking at one of the bowls of chips Haley hadn't brought outside. "Peyton."

"Luke." She sure sounded surprised to see him. "Uh, hi."

"Why aren't you out there with everyone else?" Lucas questioned, continuing his journey further into the kitchen.

Peyton shrugged. "I figured I'd eat the good junk food before the kids got the chance. Don't you find it funny that Haley hates it when we give Jamie tons of sugar, yet she's turning around right now and giving a bunch of other kids a ton of sugar?" She questioned as she hopped off the counter.

Lucas smiled as he opened the fridge door. "It is kind of funny." He agreed. "But it is a birthday party, sugar is kind of expected. And plus, Haley's only gonna have to deal with Jamie's sugar high, all the other kids will be going home, so I don't think she really cares."

Peyton nodded. "True. I'm gonna go mingle. Talk to you later Luke."

Lucas watched Peyton leave the kitchen, before he reached into the fridge for a can of root beer. He sighed slightly, that had felt a little awkward to him. Actually, ever since Peyton had come to town, he'd felt awkward around her. But could anyone really blame him? He'd proposed to her and she shot him down. He'd broken his heart and it had taken him forever to piece it back together. In fact, Lucas was pretty sure it wasn't fully put back together quite yet. The damage done probably would never be fully fixed, but at least he was trying.

"So, has this been at all awkward for you?"

Lucas turned to see Nathan walking into the kitchen. "Why would you ask that Nate?" He questioned, though he knew exactly where his brother was going with that question. And Lucas had no doubt that Nathan wouldn't be the last one to ask it today.

Nathan shook his head, as he moved towards him. "I don't know the fact that your current girlfriend and two of your ex-girlfriends are under one roof." He smiled a little. "If I was in your position, I know it would be at least a little bit awkward for me."

Lucas shrugged slightly. "It's not all that bad. Though, Peyton's been keeping her distance. I mean, she's been avoiding me like I'm the plague."  
"Do you blame her?" Nathan questioned. "She turned you down when you proposed to her. Now she sees you again with another chick, it's gotta be hard on her."

"Why? She's the one that said no." Lucas replied. It still hurt- the fact that she'd turned him down. Sure, she had said 'someday' but it hurt just the same as a 'no'. And, in Lucas' books at that time it had meant the exact same thing as no.

"She probably regrets it. She sees you happy and wants it to be her that you're happy with." Nathan shrugged. "Well, I'm going to head back to the party."

Lucas watched as Nathan turned around and left the kitchen, slightly wondering why exactly his brother had come in here in the first place. He'd probably seen Peyton leave, and wanted to find out what was going on, or something along those lines. Lucas shook his head, he didn't really care at the moment. He drank some of his root beer before heading back into the living room, trying to push all thoughts away from Peyton.

_Get a real job, keep the wind at your back  
__And the sun on your face  
__All the immediate unknowns are better  
__Than knowing this tired and lonely fate_

Haley was quite proud of the work she'd done for this party. Of course, she wouldn't have been able to make it turn out so well without the help of Brooke. Her brunette friend had seemed to take on a lot of the work, and Haley was grateful for that. It was nice to have help. Everyone seemed to be having fun. The kids were running around, laughing and playing. And, the adults seemed to be enjoying themselves. They were probably the ones who had played Rockband more.

"Haley, you out did yourself." Haley looked up to see Owen approaching her and Lindsey. "Thank you for this. Means a lot, and I know Jayden really appreciates the party."

Haley shrugged, "I can't take all the credit, Brooke kind of took over the past couple days. Helped me make sure all the little details were taken care of. It was actually kind of nice." It was the truth, without Brooke around, Haley probably would have been stressing out a lot more about the minor details that needed to be taken care of. Brooke had seemed to have everything Haley forgot about taken care of.

"Well, still, thank you. If it were up to me, Jayden's birthday party would probably be half the size, and thrown together last minute." Owen mused as he looked around the living room, taking in everything and everyone.

Haley smiled at him. "I'm sure that wouldn't have been the case Owen. You would have just asked Jayden what he wanted and given him exactly that."

"Well, I don't know about that." Owen laughed slightly and shook his head. He glanced towards where his son was playing with a couple other children, and Haley recognized the look on his face. It was like the one she'd seen Rachel sporting last weekend when she was at the house- a look of uncertainty and worry about their abilities at being parents.

"You're like Rachel, you know." Haley suddenly mused, causing Owen to turn and look at her. Haley was pretty sure Owen thought she was insane for the comment, so she decided to elaborate a little bit, to save herself from any confusion. "You're both scared of screwing him up. You're both scared that you aren't being good parents. You and Rachel may not be together, but you both have done an amazing job so far. Jayden's a good kid, and he loves you both."

Owen looked at Haley silently for a moment, and to Haley he looked like he was trying to figure out what exactly to say in response. "Rach and I lucked out with him. He's patient, smart, understanding and he's only three." He sighed. "Speaking of Rachel, have you seen or heard from her yet?"

Haley sighed and shook her head. Owen was worried about the red head, that much was clear to Haley. No matter how angry and how hurt he was he still loved her. And that fact had to make what Rachel had done a whole lot worse. "No, I haven't. Brooke's been trying to get a hold of her, I'd go see her if I was you. She might have finally been able to reach her."

"Alright, thanks." Owen said, before walking away.

"Do you think Rachel decided not to come?" Lindsey questioned, Haley had almost forgotten she'd been standing there.

"I don't know anymore." Haley replied shaking her head slightly. "I don't want to believe that she decided not to come, because Jayden would be devastated. And Brooke would be too. But, I don't know anymore. Just have to hope she'll walk through the door soon."

If Rachel didn't show up it wouldn't only hurt Jayden, but Brooke would be upset. Not for herself, but for Jayden. Brooke loved that little boy just as much as she loved Jamie. Haley could almost picture the blow out in her head if Rachel didn't show up. She was pretty sure it would bare resemblance to Midnight Madness back in high school.

Lindsey nodded. "So, Rachel and Lucas...nothing has happened between them. Right?" She asked and the question was completely out of the blue. At least it felt that way.

Haley couldn't help but let out a laugh. "Rachel and Luke? In high school she tried to get him to sleep with her, mostly because Brooke was dating him at the time. But aside from that, they're just friends because of Brooke. You should know that though, I mean, you did read and edit Luke's book. He seemed to have written all about his high school life in it."

"Yeah, I just needed some reassurance I guess." Lindsey sighed. "With Peyton and Brooke back in town, I don't know. I guess I'm a little worried."

"Linds, you've got nothing to worry about. Luke loves you. Brooke and Peyton are in the past. They're all just friends now."

"I hope you're right."

Haley didn't reply, because right now she wasn't exactly sure if she was right. With the way things had been going, she was beginning to wonder about Lucas. She was going to have to sit down with him and see where his head was at, because Haley didn't want to see anyone get hurt again. "I'm positive about this Lindsey." She smiled. "He loves you."

Lindsey sighed and looked across the room at Brooke for a moment before turning back to Haley. "He loved Brooke and Peyton too. And part of him still does. If he said that wasn't true he'd be lying."

"Yes, part of him still loves Brooke and Peyton, but you are the one that holds his heart Lindsey." Haley said softly, placing a hand on Lindsey's arm and giving it a small squeeze. "Don't worry. He won't be leaving you. If I know anyone, it's Lucas. You won't be able to get rid of him."

Lindsey smiled and nodded. "Thanks Haley, I needed to hear that."

"I think everyone wants the reassurance sometimes." Haley mused, smiling back at Lucas' girlfriend. Even she felt the need for reassurance at times. It was human nature.

_Does he love you?  
__Does he love you?  
__Will he hold your tiny face in his hands?_

Brooke sat on the couch smiling as she watched Jamie and Skills play Rockband. Jayden was not too far away playing with a couple other children. The weight of the couch shifted slightly, causing Brooke to look to her side. She smiled when she say Peyton. "Hey, P. Sawyer. You having fun?"

"Sure." Peyton replied with a small shrug. She waited for a moment before saying, "So, you've been avoiding Chase like the plague."

"And you've been avoiding Lucas like the plague."

"Touché." Peyton said, shaking her head slightly. "Why is Chase here anyway?"

Brooke looked at her friend silently for a moment. "Chase is Jayden's godfather. I thought I told you that." She could have sworn she'd told Peyton that around the same time that she'd told Peyton she was Jayden's godmother.

"I don't believe you did. Did Rachel choose him or something?"

"No. Him and Owen know each other. Cousins and close friends, or something like that." Brooke replied with a shrug. She wasn't really sure. After her and Chase and broken up shortly after graduation she hadn't really kept in touch with him. And it wasn't until Jayden was born that she'd seen Chase again. She hadn't bothered to ask how Chase and Owen knew each other, and she couldn't fully remember what Rachel had told her. "It's a small world, really."

Brooke was still amused by the fact that Chase and Owen knew each other. She had thought she'd never see Chase again after their break up, and then a day after Jayden was born Chase was standing before her. It was weird how the world worked sometimes.

"So why are you avoiding him?" Peyton's voice pulled Brooke out of her thoughts.

"I could ask you the very same question." She replied simply, knowing it would make her friend drop the subject. Really, Brooke didn't know why she was avoiding Chase. They'd worked things out, and their friendship was pretty decent. Maybe it was just because she'd overheard a conversation between Owen and Rachel long ago about how Chase still really liked Brooke. If she remembered correctly, Rachel had told Owen it was never going to happen because Brooke was still in love with a certain, blonde, broody boy. Brooke was beginning to wonder if maybe Rachel had been right then. Did she still love Lucas?

She looked at Peyton with a small smile. "When you tell me why you're avoiding Lucas. I'll tell you why I'm avoiding Chase." It sounded like a pretty decent deal to Brooke.

Peyton shook her head. "I'm not really avoiding him. We talked in the kitchen."

"For what? A minute?" Brooke questioned with a raised eyebrow. "'Cause he went in there shortly before you sat down beside me. I bet you made a quick escape with some lame excuse."

"I bet you're wrong." Peyton replied which caused Brooke to shake her head.

"Brooke have you heard from Rachel at all?" Owen's voice kept her from replying. Both Peyton and herself turned around to look at him.

Brooke shook her head, silently wondering if Owen was asking because he wanted to see his ex-girlfriend, or because Jayden wanted to see his mom. Part of her had a feeling it was a little bit of both. "No, not yet." She sighed. "I'm hoping she walks through that front door soon. If she doesn't, when I finally track her down she's getting her as-butt kicked." Brooke changed her choice of wording, since there were children around. She didn't want to be blamed for 'bad' words spreading around the playground.

Owen nodded. "If you hear from her at all let me know, will you?"

"Will do." Brooke replied. She watched as Owen walked away before turning to Peyton. "So, P. Saywer, what'd you say you and I give Rockband a go?"

Peyton smiled. "You're so going down B. Davis."

"Oh, I don't think so." Brooke laughed. "I've had a lot of practice at it the past few days. Jamie's been teaching me. And as far as I'm concerned that little boy is a pro at that game."

"We'll see about that." Peyton replied with a laugh as she stood up.

Brooke shook her head. She was totally going to rock the game. Like she said, she'd been practicing. She stood up and smoothed out her jeans before the two friends headed over to where a couple of children were playing it.

_I guess it's spring; I didn't know  
__It's always seventy-five with no melting snow  
__A married man, he visits me  
__I received his letters in the mail twice a week_

Nathan laughed as he watched his wife. She was handing out pieces of cake, telling the kids to sit down and be careful. They were an hour and a half into the party, and about a half hour remained. Jayden had already opened his presents, which was why they'd moved onto the cake. And still, there was no sign of Rachel. Everyone was beginning to wonder if she was going to show up at all. Brooke was clearly not happy about it. Owen didn't seem to be too happy either.

He could tell, from looking around, that there was going to be a big clean up after everyone left. It wasn't like Haley and himself were going to be the only ones cleaning. Skills had said he'd stay and help, and considering Brooke and Peyton were still staying at the house with them which mean there were two pairs of hands to help. And Lucas and Lindsey would most likely stay to help. Nathan knew Owen would stay to help as a thank you for throwing the party, so that probably meant Chase would too. The clean up would be done in no time. At least he hoped it would be, he didn't want to spend his entire night cleaning up.

"Jayden, sweetie, try to keep the cake on the plate, alright?" He looked over at Brooke who had Jayden on her lap as she sat on the couch.

"It not my fault if it fall off." Jayden stated, with a smile that caused Nathan to laugh. He was pretty sure that answer was something he'd picked up from his mom.

"Daddy, you gonna have cake?" Jamie questioned from where he sat on the floor by the coffee table with other children. It was an attempt to keep them from getting cake everywhere.

"Yup, once everyone has a piece, I'm gonna eat whatever's left." Nathan replied.

"Who says there is gonna be anything left?" Haley questioned looking over at him, from where she was still cutting cake.

"Oh, I'm sure you'll save something for me." He smiled at his wife. "You wouldn't let me starve."

"Considering you ate two hotdogs and a bunch of junk food, I don't think I'd mind if you didn't have cake." Haley replied with a small shrug and smile.

"Uncle Nathan, you can't eat all. Mommy needs a piece too." Jayden stated, turning on Brooke's lap to look at him, with big brown eyes.

Nathan looked over at the, now, three-year-old little boy. He didn't really know what to say. Rachel had yet to show up, and he was pretty sure everyone was beginning to think the red head wasn't going to show up.

"Don't worry bud, Nate's not gonna finish it." Owen spoke up. He reached over and ruffled his son's hair from where he sat beside Brooke. "He'll make sure your mom get's a piece. Right, Nate?" Owen looked up at him, and Nathan caught the 'go along with it' look.

"Of course, I'll make sure your mom gets a piece Jay." Nathan replied with a smile. He watched as Jayden's face lit up, happily. He couldn't help but feel bad for the kid. He looked so hopeful, so happy. And he knew that was why no one wanted to tell him that his mom might not be coming. No one had the heart to do it. Nathan found himself wondering what was currently going through Rachel's head. She'd made a promise to her son. She'd told Jayden she would be here, and yet she was nowhere in sight. That, and no one had heard from her in days.

"Good. Mommy's gonna wanna piece when she get here." Jayden nodded.

"Yes she is." Brooke sighed, glancing briefly at Owen before looking back down at Jayden. "What do you think she'd do if she didn't get a piece?"

"She gonna beat up whoever finished it." Jayden stated.

"Hear that Nate? You finish that cake and you're gonna get beat up by a girl." Brooke laughed, and Nathan could tell she was just trying to keep her spirits and hopes up for Jayden's sake.

_And I think he loves me  
__And when he leaves her  
__He's coming out to California_

Peyton sat off to the side, watching as Haley went around collecting all of the kid's empty, or nearly empty, plates. The kids had gone outside with all of the guys to play some basketball, which left the house fairly quiet. "You need some help Hales?" She questioned after a moment of watching.

"No. I'm good." Haley smiled at her, before picking up a couple more plates, and heading into the kitchen.

Brooke had disappeared a few minutes ago, and Peyton was pretty sure she'd once again gone off to call Rachel. That had to make about twenty calls in the past couple of days unanswered. She could see why Brooke would be worried. Maybe Rachel had just lost her cell phone, and hadn't called because she couldn't remember anyone's phone numbers without the aid of her cell phone. It was possible in this day and age. Everyone seemed to rely on their cell phones to remember phone numbers. Even Peyton was guilty of that, herself.

"Hi, Peyton." Peyton turned in her seat to look beside her, her eyes falling on Lucas' current girlfriend. Okay, this was slightly awkward for her.

"Lindsey, right?" Peyton smiled at her politely.

"Yeah, I thought I would say hi." Lindsey said. "I mean, I've gotten the chance to talk to Brooke, but you seem to have been avoiding me and Lucas since we got here. I don't want things to be awkward Peyton."

Peyton wanted to snap at her. She wanted to tell her that there was no way for things to not be awkward. Peyton wanted to tell her that she still loved Lucas, and was going to try to win him back. But she couldn't. "Yeah, I don't want them to be awkward either." She lied instead.

Lindsey smiled slightly. "I know things didn't end so well for you and Lucas, but I hope that the two of you can work past that. I mean, it would be nice to see you guys have a decent friendship. I just hope you and Luke can have the friendship that him and Brooke do."

Peyton didn't really know what to say to Lindsey, so instead she nodded and prayed that someone would save her from this conversation. It was just too much for her. Sitting here with the woman that Lucas now claimed he loved. She had to just be a rebound. He couldn't really love her, could he?

As an awkward silence fell between them, Lindsey decided to continue talking. "And I hope that we could somehow be friends."

"Um, yeah," Peyton nodded slowly. Too shocked to really process what Lindsey was saying. "Me too." She bit her lip. "I'm gonna go check on Brooke. I'll talk to you later Lindsey." Peyton quickly got up and headed upstairs. That had been the weirdest conversation she'd ever had. Was Lindsey being serious back there? She couldn't honestly want to be friends. At least Peyton, believed that, that had been the case. But, if in some weird reality Lindsey really wanted to be friends with her, well, maybe Peyton would give it a try. It couldn't hurt, could it? Maybe then she'd be able to figure out if what Lucas and Lindsey had was really love.

_I guess it all worked out  
__There's a ring on your finger  
__And the baby's due out  
__You share a place by the park  
__And run a shop for antiques downtown_

_

* * *

__AN: Another short chapter, I know, I'm sorry. It was originall__y a lot longer, but I ended up cutting it in half, and this half sort of ended up shorter. Hopeuflly you enjoyed it, I do realize I kind of dragged the whole party thing out, oh well. Just want to thank, TVCrazed, cRaZyGuRl093, Long Live BRUCAS, ravencheerleader, centuryshorty, cRiMsOnGoDdEsS01, Ravenscircle, brucasever, and bella for their reviews. It really means a lot to me to get some feedback. With university a month in on the next semester, updates may be a little more spaced out, because I'm going to be busy with writing papers and studying for mid terms. So, I thought I'd warn you now, just in case. Anyway, hope you liked this chapert, don't forget to leave a review. You'll get a virtual cookie if you do. _


	9. Does He Love You? pt2

"_**Regret comes in all shapes and sizes. Some are small like when we do a bad thing for a good reason. Some are bigger like when you let down a friend."  
**__**~ Lucas Scott**_

Lucas followed everyone else inside. They'd been playing basketball for the past half hour, as parents who hadn't come to the party with their children, picked them up, and other's slowly called it a day. It wasn't long before the rowdy bunch had all disappeared. Owen had Jayden in his arms, and Lucas couldn't help but feel bad for the little boy. As the end of the party grew near, Jayden seemed to begin to give up hope on his mom showing up. He'd gone from asking everyone when she was going to be there, to seemingly not care. His bright hopeful look had slowly been replaced with a disappointed, sad smile. He knew he wasn't alone in wondering what the hell happened to the red head. Rachel loved Jayden, and sure her and Owen weren't on the best of terms right now, but Lucas thought she'd suck it up to be here for her son.

Lucas watched as Owen placed Jayden down on the couch, as he sat himself down in one of the chairs. Jamie came running in, still clearly hyped up on sugar and jumped on his lap. "Uncle Luke, can I spend the night at your house with you and Lindsey?" He questioned, his big blue eyes looking up at him.

A smile crept onto Lucas lips as he looked down at his nephew. He tilted his head slightly and asked, "Your mom told you to ask me that didn't she?"

"Nu uh." Jamie shook his head. "I haven't gotten to stay at your place for a long time, so I wanna stay tonight."

"I don't know..." Lucas trailed off. He glanced over at Lindsey who was walking towards him. He smiled at her and asked, "Think we should let J. Luke stay at the house with us tonight, Lindsey? I don't know if he's been good enough."

"I have been good though Uncle Luke." Jamie protested looking at him. "I've eaten all my vegetables, and I've remembered to feed Chester every day."

"I still don't know. What do you think Linds?"

Lindsey got a thoughtful expression on her face as she looked down at Jamie. "Well, Jamie, have you brushed your teeth every day and done all of your chores?"

Jamie nodded. "Yup! You can even ask momma. She'll tell you that I've done everything she's asked me to do."

"I think we can trust you." Lucas replied with a smile, ruffling Jamie's hair. "Go make sure it's okay with both your mom and dad first, though."

"Okay, Uncle Luke." Jamie grinned before jumping off his lap and running off to go look for his parents.

Lucas smiled and pulled Lindsey down onto his now vacated lap. "You enjoy yourself today?" He questioned, before giving her a quick kiss.

"Yeah." Lindsey smiled. "I have. You do realize now that you've promised Jamie he can stay at the house, you won't be able to sleep as long as you want tomorrow morning."

"Of course I can. You'll just have to get up and make him breakfast, while I sleep."

Lindsey laughed. "You, Lucas Scott, are lucky I love you. Otherwise, I'd laugh in your face and go to a hotel for the night so that I can leave you to get up early and make your nephew breakfast."

"I'm definitely lucky you love me." Lucas smiled, and kissed her again.

"Get a room would you." Haley's voice, caused Lucas to pull away from Lindsey. "There's children present you know."

"Sorry Hales. Your's and Nathan's room is free, right?" Lucas questioned with a smile, clearly teasing Haley.

Haley's response was a slap to the back of Lucas' head.

"Ow. That hurt Hales." Lucas pouted slightly rubbing the back of his head.

"I don't care you deserved it." Haley replied with a shrug. "So I hear you're taking my son for the night."

"You heard right." Lucas nodded. "Figured you and Nate could use the alone time."

"Uh huh, I'm sure. You do realize he's gonna be up all night because of the amount of sugar he's had today, right?"

"Are you trying to convince me to leave him here for you and Nate to deal with? 'Cause I can do that." Lucas said with a smile, knowing Haley's answer.

"No. Just wanted to make sure you and Lindsey knew what you were going to be dealing with tonight."

"Don't worry Hales. We'll be fine." Lucas replied with a shrug.

"Yeah, don't worry Haley." Lindsey smiled. "Luke here will find a way to tire Jamie out by his bedtime, and he'll be up bright and early to make Jamie pancakes."

"I think that sounds like a great idea. Jamie does love pancakes." Haley smiled. "Now, how about the two of you stop making out in my living room, and start helping the rest of us clean up?"

"Aww, mom, do I have to?" Lucas whined, earning himself another slap upside the head from Haley. "Ow."

"You deserved that too." Was all Haley said, before heading back into the kitchen.

Lucas shook his head with a smile on his face. He looked at Lindsey. "Guess we should start cleaning."

"Yeah, wouldn't want Haley to hit you again." Lindsey laughed, before getting off his lap, and extending her hand out to him. Lucas took it and stood up, glancing over at the couch where Jayden seemed to be watching tv. "Jay, buddy, you gonna help clean?"

Jayden shook his head. "No. It my birthday. I don't have to. Daddy said so."

Lucas laughed. "Okay buddy. You enjoy your cartoon." He said before taking Lindsey's hand and leading her into the kitchen to get instructions from Haley.

_And he loves you, yeah, he loves you  
__And the two of you will soon become three  
__And he loves you, even though  
__You used to say you were flawed if you weren't free_

Brooke was pissed. No. She was beyond pissed. As soon as she found that redheaded friend of hers she was going to throw a fit, and that redhead was going to have to face the wrath of Brooke Davis full force. She couldn't believe Rachel. If Rachel had made a promise to her and broken it, Brooke would be angry, but not pissed. The fact that Rachel had promised Jayden she'd be here, and hadn't bothered to show up or call, sent Brooke over the edge.

With a sigh, she tossed her cell phone onto the bed, and headed back downstairs. She'd make herself useful and help clean up. As she walked into the living room she only saw Jamie and Jayden. She walked over behind the couch and wrapped her arms around her two favourite boys from behind. "And what are you two doing?"

"Watchin' Spongebob." Jayden replied with a small smile. She kissed his cheek, and then Jamie's. Her smile still in place.

"J. Luke, where's your mom and dad?"

"In the kitchen with Uncle Lucas." Jamie replied.

"Alright." Brooke smiled standing up she ruffled Jamie and Jayden's hair before leaving the living room and heading into the kitchen. "I go upstairs for ten minutes and when I come back downstairs everyone's gone. Where'd everyone disappear to?"

"Skills, Mouth, Junk, and Fergie headed back to their apartment. Owen and Chase are loading up Owen's car with Jayden's presents, Lindsey went on a quick coffee run, Peyton is, well, I have no idea, and Luke and Nate here are helping me wash all the dishes." Haley replied.

"Why exactly did Lindsey go on a coffee run? Don't you have coffee here?" Brooke questioned.

"Lindsey and I wanted lattes, since we don't have an espresso machine here Lindsey offered to go get some." Haley explained. "She's getting you and Peyton one too."

Brooke nodded. "So, Haley, what would you like me to do to help with the clean up?"

"Could you go make sure all the garbage is in the garbage?" Haley asked turning to look at her.

"Sure thing." Brooke smiled. That would be simple, she was pretty sure Haley had picked up most of the garbage while all the kids had been outside.

"Mommy!" Jayden's loud, excited voice seemed to fill the house.

Brooke froze for a moment looking at the three other people in the kitchen. Had she been the only one who had heard that? "Did I hear that right?"

"I think Jayden said mommy." Lucas confirmed with a slightly nod.

"I thought so." Brooke said, before she turned on her heels and headed out of the kitchen. In seconds she was out in the living room, watching as Rachel showered her son with kisses. One thing that caught her attention was that her redheaded friend was no longer a redhead. It seemed that Rachel had dyed her hair a dark brown, and had changed her hair style. But that's not what mattered right now. "Do my eyes deceive me or is Rachel Gatina actually here?"

Rachel looked up at her. "Funny Brooke." She mumbled before looking back down at Jayden. "I'm sorry I'm late buddy." She stood up, lifting Jayden up as she did so. "How does it feel to be three-years-old?"

"It feel good." Jayden grinned, resting his head on his mom's shoulder. "So, where my present?"

Rachel laughed, and Brooke couldn't help but smile a little. "Oh, so that's how it is? All you want me for is the present."

Jayden lifted his head from Rachel's shoulder and looked at her. "No. I want you here. I miss you."

"I missed you too." Rachel kissed his cheek. "I'll get your birthday present for you later, okay? It's out in my rental car."

"Kay, mommy." Jayden nodded.

The front door opened, and Owen and Chase walked in. Brooke couldn't help but note the slight awkward air that filled the room. Rachel glanced over her shoulder at them. "I saw you loading up your car." She stated, her gaze on Owen. "Was gonna say hi, but I thought I wouldn't make Jayden wait any longer."

Chase spoke instead of Owen. "Glad to see you finally made it, what three hours late?" Brooke looked over at Chase and shook her head. A lot of the time he seemed a lot more angry about what Rachel had done then Owen did. Part of Brooke felt it was because of his past. It was because Chase had been cheated on, and he wasn't happy to see a friend go through that sort of thing.

"I had my reasons for being late." Rachel stated, shifting Jayden in her arms slightly as he rested his head on her shoulder again.

"And what are the reasons Rach?" Brooke spoke up. She didn't want to be mad at her friend, but she couldn't help it. Jayden may find it easy to forgive a broken promise, but Brooke didn't. It was too hard for her to do.

"I was in L.A." Rachel sighed. "I had to change my flight out of there because of a last minute audition. And when I went to catch my changed flight it got delayed by a couple hours. If you don't believe me you can call the airport and find out from them. If I'd known I was going to be late because of the changed flight I wouldn't have gone to the audition."

Audition? What was Rachel talking about? Before Brooke could question her about it, Owen spoke up. "And you couldn't call or answer your cell phone all week?"

"God. What is this? Rag on Rachel and her bad parenting skills, day?" Rachel snapped, and Brooke knew instantly something was off with her friend. "I have my reasons, okay? So, just drop it." Rachel looked down at Jayden, clearly wanting an escape. "Jay, baby, what do you say we go in the kitchen, so I can find myself something to eat, and you can tell me about everything I missed." She looked up, and past Brooke. "You don't mind if I raid your fridge do you Haley?"

Brooke glanced over her shoulder. She hadn't realized the others had followed her out of the kitchen. "Not at all." Haley replied shaking her head.

"I made sure we saved you a piece of cake." Jayden stated.

"Aww, thank you." Rachel kissed Jayden's forehead before making her way through the living room to the kitchen.

Brooke watched her friend disappear as she tried to fully register everything. There was something wrong with Rachel. She definitely wasn't her usual self. Late because of an audition? Yeah, Brooke really wasn't believing that one. Rachel would have had least called if it was something as simple as that wouldn't she? She wouldn't have gone so long without contacting any of them.

_Let's not forget ourselves, good friend  
__You and I were almost dead  
__And you're better off for leaving  
__Yeah, you're better off for leaving_

Rachel hid out in the kitchen for as long as she possibly could. She sat with Jayden, listening to him tell tales about what had happened today. She hated the fact that she had missed his party. If she could turn back time, she'd redo her whole week. Everything had seemed to go downhill the moment she left Tree Hill on Sunday.

"And Auntie Brooke gave me money." Jayden said as he finished telling her the list of presents he had gotten.

"She did? And what do you plan on doing with it?" She questioned smiling at her son.

"Buy a car."

Rachel laughed, and reached over ruffling her son's hair. "You might have to save up a bit more money before you can buy a car, Jayden."

"But Auntie Brooke gave me lots."

"I'm sure she did. She loves to spoil you, but I don't think she gave you enough for a car." Rachel stated, still smiling. "How about you and me go shopping tomorrow, and we'll see what you can buy with the money."

Jayden nodded, "I wanna shop with you."

"Can I come? 'Cause I wanna shop with you too."

Rachel looked up to see Brooke coming into the kitchen. She was beginning to wonder when Brooke would come in here. Honestly, she'd been expecting her friend awhile ago. "Hey, Jay, why don't you go watch cartoons with Jamie? And make sure your dad's okay with you and me going shopping tomorrow."

"Kay mommy." Jayden replied, before leaving the kitchen and going into the living room where everyone else was.

"I'm surprised you didn't come in here sooner." Rachel mused as she got up from where she'd been sitting at the counter and moved to the sink.

"I was talking to Owen." Brooke replied, sitting down beside Rachel's vacated seat.

"About me, I'm sure." Rachel mused, putting her empty plate into the sink.

"Rach, we've been worried about you."

"You mean, you've been worried about me." Rachel mused, her back still to Brooke. "I highly doubt anyone else out in that living room, other than Jayden would be worried about me."

"Rachel, Owen cares about you. He may still be angry and hurt because of what you did, and I don't blame him, but he still cares about you." Brooke replied with a sigh. "And everyone else considers you a good friend."

"Good friend?" Rachel snorted, turning to look at Brooke. "Chase hates me more than Owen does, I'm sure Haley still hates me for trying to sleep with her husband and I doubt Lucas enjoys having me stay at his place a lot of the time."

Brooke was silent, and Rachel figured she was trying to come up with a good response. "Look, Chase is angry because Owen's his friend and he hates that you cheated on him. And Haley has put everything in the past, and is willing to leave it there if you don't make another move on Nathan." She paused and looked at Rachel. "Rach, what's going on with you?"

"Who says there's anything going on with me?" Rachel questioned, leaning back against the sink, and crossing her arms at her chest.

"No one." Brooke replied, looking up at her. "But I've known you long enough to know when there's something wrong. You haven't answered a single call all week, you come here late, you get defensive."

Rachel shook her head. "There is nothing going on with me, Brooke. I told you why I was late. Just leave it, okay?"

"Rachel, talk to me. It's just you and me in here right now."

"Brooke, are you listening to me? I've got nothing to talk about." Rachel replied. She really just wanted to leave the past week behind her.

"You and I both know that isn't true." Brooke stated, and Rachel sighed. She knew Brooke wasn't going to let this go. Maybe telling Brooke now would just save her all the trouble of avoiding the topic. But, no matter what, there were things she wouldn't say. For example, there was no way she was going to tell Brooke she'd pretty much spent the past week with Meredith or Meredith's friends getting drunk and high. It wasn't anything Rachel was proud of, and she didn't really know why she had done it. Maybe it was because it had presented such a great escape from life for her.

She wasn't happy that she'd missed her son's birthday. And, like she had told them. If she had known her change in flights would result in being late she wouldn't have made the change. She would have let the stupid audition go without a thought. But, it hadn't worked out that way, and she'd missed her son's fourth birthday party. Rachel couldn't help but feel guilty and like a horrible mother.

_Late at night, I get the phone  
__You're at the shop sobbing, all alone  
__Your confession is coming out  
__You only married him, you felt your time was running out_

Haley laughed as she watched Owen, Nathan, and Lucas play Rockband. Owen on drums, Lucas playing guitar, and Nathan singing. Jamie and Jayden sat on the couch with Lindsey, making fun of the attempts. Haley was glad they'd bought the game for Jamie. It was pure entertainment for her. After another couple minutes of watching, she turned and headed to the kitchen. Part of her was thirsty and wanted something other than the latte sitting out in the living room, and another part of her wanted to make sure both Brooke and Rachel were still alive.

As Haley neared the kitchen, she slowed her pace. She could hear Rachel and Brooke's voices slightly over the music from the game. Not wanting to interrupt, Haley stopped at the door, using the wall to block herself from their view. Okay, so she was going to do a little bit of eavesdropping, it wasn't going to hurt anyone.

"My parents are getting a divorce." Rachel's voice was quite, and she sounded almost like she didn't understand the words she was saying. "And they're pulling me into the middle of it. There's all this, he said, she said, crap. And..."

There was silence for a moment before Brooke spoke up. "And what Rachel, because I know that can't be it."

"Brooke, really, that's it. I'm just stressed out because of it. I've got work, and Jayden, and now my parents decide they want to be part of my life because they want me to choose sides, and make the other one look like this bad person, when in reality they both are bad people. It's all piling up, but it'll be fine. I plan on taking this weekend to just relax."

"Rach, you know if you need to talk or anything-"

Rachel cut Brooke off. "I know you're there for me. Really, slut, there's nothing to worry about."

Haley bit her lip and decided to head into the kitchen. She didn't want to eavesdrop anymore, because she kind of felt bad for it. So, she turned and headed in threw the kitchen door, pretending as though she hadn't been listening. "Glad to see the two of you still alive. I was beginning to wonder if I should have hidden the sharp objects."

"Funny Hales." Brooke said rolling her eyes.

"I thought so." Haley smiled, moving past the two to the cupboard to get a glass. "Like the new haircut by the way Rachel."

"I thought I could use a new look." Rachel shrugged. "It felt about time for a change. Which is also why I'm staying at a hotel this weekend."

"What? Why?" Brooke questioned. Haley was wondering the same thing.

Rachel sighed. "I'm tired of mooching of Luke. It's not like I don't have the money, and I just need some alone time to think. Plus, I was hoping you could convince Owen to let me take Jayden for the night, so we could have some quality time. If I'm in the hotel it'll just be us. Instead of us, and Lucas nearby."

Haley filled her glass with water before turning to Rachel and asking. "Why don't you ask Owen yourself? I mean he's in the other room Rachel, and you can't avoid talking to him forever."

"Yes, I can." Rachel replied, her gaze moving over to Brooke. "So, you'll talk to him for me right?"

Haley watched her friend hesitate for a moment with her response. "Not this time Rachel." Brooke sighed. "I can't keep playing moderator."

"Fine. I'll talk to him then." Rachel turned to Haley. "I suggest you hide the sharp objects now." Haley laughed and shook her head. She highly doubted it would end up being that bad.

_But now you love him and your baby  
__At last you are complete  
__But he's distant and you found him  
__On the phone, pleading, saying  
_"_Baby, I love you, and I'll leave her  
__And I'm coming out to California"_

Peyton had gone for a walk. She hadn't been able to deal with both Lucas and Lindsey being in the house, so she'd slipped out the front door. Everyone had been too busy with their own things to notice her leaving, which didn't really bother her. She was glad she was able to get away for a little bit. Peyton had wandered around town for about an hour before heading back to Nathan and Haley's house. As she neared the front door, she noticed Lucas' car was gone. Good. She wouldn't have to deal with them any longer.

Entering the house she noticed the silence. When she'd left there had been talking, singing, music. A bit of everything really. Now, there was just silence. Had she missed out on something important? "Where have you been P. Sawyer?" Brooke's voice startled her. Peyton jumped slightly and turned to face her.

"Sorry, I went to get some fresh air, and found myself wandering around a bit." Peyton replied with a shrug, before turning and heading into the living room.

Brooke followed her, and sat herself down on the couch. "I was beginning to think I was going to have to send a search party out for you."

"I wasn't gone that long." Peyton mused, sitting beside Brooke on the couch.

"Sure you were." Brooke replied. "You missed out on all of the fun."

"Like what?"

Brooke turned and looked at Peyton. "Well, first, Rachel finally showed up and she talked to Owen without yelling. She ended up taking Jay for the night. And the guys all played some Rockband, which was entertaining. Jamie went to stay with Luke and Lindsey tonight. And Nathan and Haley disappeared upstairs. I'll give you two guesses on what they're doing."

Peyton couldn't help but laugh. "If they're doing, what I think they're doing, how 'bout we hang out down here and eat leftover cake and ice-cream while watching some old movie?"

"I like the sounds of that." Brooke grinned, clapping her hands slightly. "How 'bout we watch Pretty in Pink, or Titanic, or Breakfast Club? I know Haley has those movies down here."

Peyton thought about it for a moment. "I'm thinking we should go with Breakfast Club. I haven't seen that movie in a long time."

"Breakfast Club it is. I'll go get the cake and ice cream if you set up the movie." Brooke said as she stood up. "The movie should be in the cupboard by the tv."

Peyton nodded, and watched as her lifelong friend disappeared into the kitchen. Maybe this would be what she needed to take her mind off of Lucas and Lindsey- a good movie with some great sugary substances and her best friend. Standing up, Peyton moved over to the cupboard Brooke had been talking about it opened it up. Once she found the movie, she moved over to the DVD player and put it in. She picked up the remote and settled herself back on the couch as she waited for Brooke to return.

She hadn't told Brooke about her feelings for Lucas still being there. Part of her was afraid to. After all the last time she had done it, their friendship came to an abrupt end. Then again, Brooke had been dating Lucas at that point. It wasn't like Brooke still loved him, right? Maybe telling her wouldn't be so bad. Peyton bit her lip. No. She'd keep it to herself. Both Nathan and Haley didn't like the fact she still had feelings for Lucas, and Peyton was pretty sure Brooke could quite possibly feel the same way.

"Well, best friend, I found the ice cream, but the cake is gone." Brooke said as she came back into the room. "I think Rachel finished it off. Either that, or Nathan did."

"It's okay." Peyton shrugged. "Ice cream is just fine."

Brooke smiled and sat down beside her on the couch. She handed her one of the bowls and said, "This is nice. We're going to have to do a lot more ice cream, movie parties, just you and me."

"Yeah." Peyton nodded. "We definitely have to." She picked up the remote, and pressed play. Eating ice cream and watching Breakfast Club with her best friend, she kind of felt like she was back in high school. It was exactly what Brooke had said. It was nice.

_Let's not forget ourselves, good friend  
__I am flawed if I'm not free  
__And your husband will never leave you  
__He will never leave you for me_

* * *

AN: Okay, finally getting this chapter up, now that I'm done all of my finals. I'm so sorry that I made you all wait. This chapter feels like its lacking something, but I can't figure it out. And I don't want to make you all wait another couple days while I try to figure it out. Anyway, the reviews mean lots you guys, it helps me know I'm doing a good idea. And, remember if you have any ideas/suggestions feel free to let me know. I'll be more then happy to try to work it in. Just a quick thank you to ravencheerleader, cRaZyGuRl093, Ravenscircle, centuryshorty, bella, cRiMsOnGoDdEsS01, BabbleBaby, TVCrazed, and Long Live BRUCAS for their reviews. Hope you all enjoyed this chapter.


	10. Slow Me Down

"_**And if you're lucky, if you're the luckiest person on this entire planet, the person you love decides to love you back."  
**__**~Nathan Scott**_

Nathan smiled to himself, his eyes still closed. The house was still quiet, which meant Jamie was still over at Lucas'. He rolled over and wrapped his arms around Haley before settling in to go back to sleep. With an energetic four-year-old around, sleeping in was hard to do. So, Nathan liked to make sure he took advantage of it when he could.

When he felt Haley shift in his arms, he knew she was awake. Not that it really surprised him. Haley was an early riser. Probably because of Jamie. They were both always up early. "Go back to sleep." He murmured into her neck before kissing it.

"If you hadn't moved in the first place, I'd still be asleep." was Haley's quiet response. She turned in his arms and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

Nathan kissed her back, before pulling her closer and repeating, "Go back to sleep."

Haley smiled and buried her head in his chest. "I'll try."

"You better. Who knows when we'll be able to sleep in again." Nathan said quietly.

"The answer to that is simple." Haley replied.

"Really?" Nathan questioned, his eyes remained closed, because he knew if he opened them it would be harder to fall asleep again. "Then what is it?"

"We'll get to sleep in next time Jamie goes to stay at Luke's." Haley told him, her voice holding a sense of confidence. "And I'm sure we can bribe him to do it again soon. Maybe even in a couple of days."

Nathan laughed and kissed the top of Haley's head. "Bribery works wonder's with him."

"Yes it does." Haley yawned. "I love you Nathan."

"I love you too, Hales." Nathan replied softly. "Now, go back to sleep."

Haley didn't say anything in reply, instead she moved closer to him. With a smile, Nathan let himself slowly drift back to sleep. Thoughts of his wife and son played in his head as sleep overtook him. At one point in time he thought that basketball was his life, and that he'd be no where without it. But then he'd met Haley and fallen in love. He learnt what true love was. Sure they'd had their hard times, but they'd worked through them. Now they had an amazing son and a great life together. Nathan hoped he could get back into the pros, but if he didn't it would be okay. As long as he had Haley and Jamie by his side, he'd be happy. They meant everything to him.

_Rushing and racing and running in circles  
__Moving so fast I'm forgetting my purpose  
__Blur of the traffic is sending me spinning  
__I'm getting nowhere  
__My head and my heart are colliding- chaotic  
__Pace of the world- I just wish I could stop it  
__Try to appear like I've got it together  
__I'm falling apart  
__Save me  
__Somebody take my hand  
__And lead me_

Peyton groaned as she tried to stretch. Every single muscle seemed to rebel. That's what she got for sleeping on the couch. Her right arm was numb, which could be because of the fact that Brooke was asleep on it. Why had they let themselves fall asleep on the living room couch exactly? This was probably one of their worst ideas ever. They should have forced themselves to get up and go upstairs last night. "Brooke." Peyton mumbled, poking her friend in the side. "Get up. You're on my arm." She poked Brooke a second time.

The only response she got from her brunette friend was a grunt. "Brooke." Peyton groaned again. "If you don't get up right now, I'm gonna hurt you."She shifted on the couch in an attempt to pull away from her friend, but she didn't find herself with much room at all. Brooke seemed to have taken over a lot of the space on the couch.

"You're just oh so intimidating." Brooke mumbled after a moment, her eyes slowly opening. She lifted her head slightly to look around, for a moment she looked like she was really confused. "Why'd we sleep down here?"

"I was wondering that myself." Peyton sighed. "Could you get off my arm?"

"Yeah, sorry." Brooke pushed herself off of Peyton with a small groan. "I'm never sleeping on a couch again. Next movie night, we better make sure we make it to our beds."

Peyton laughed slightly as she stretched her arm which was still partially numb. "I fully agree with you there. We are far too old to do this anymore." When they were younger, falling asleep on the couch while watching movies was no big deal. Now, wasn't so much the same.

"We are not old." Brooke stated. "We are still young and carefree. And we can do anything we did back in high school."

"If you say so Brooke." Peyton said with a smile.

Brooke nodded. "I do."

"Morning guys." Haley's cheerful voice floated through the living room as she walked into it.

Peyton looked up at her with a raised eyebrow. "Someone sure is chipper this morning."

"That's 'cause her and Nate had sex last night." Brooke mused, from where she sat on the couch stretching her arms. "She's pretty much radiating sex."

"I am not." Haley protested her cheeks slightly reddened.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of Tutor-wife. We're all adults, and you guys are married." Brooke laughed.

"You must have been enjoying the night with Jamie at Lucas'." Peyton mused. "But you do realize you still had two other people in the house, right?"

Haley paused and looked between Peyton and Brooke. "We weren't loud were we?"

Peyton couldn't help but laugh. "Don't worry about it Haley, we were camped out down here all night. Didn't hear a thing. Though, that could be because we had the tv on."

"I'm pretty sure I heard some lust filled screams during the beginning of Breakfast Club." Brooke mused, looking towards Peyton.

"Hmm, now that you mention it, I think I heard the same thing." Peyton mused, a smile playing on her lips.

"Ha. Ha. You guys think you're so funny." Haley rolled her eyes. "Well, for that I'm not going to make you guys breakfast and coffee like I was planning to." She turned and headed towards the kitchen.

Brooke jumped up and followed. "Aww, but Haley, we were joking, and you love us. You wouldn't really let me starve would you?"

"I don't know, if annoyed enough, I just might." Haley's voice came from the kitchen.

"No you wouldn't. I know you." Brooke mused. "You're still joking. You just want to see what I would do if it was true."

Peyton laughed from where she still sat on the couch. She loved her friends. She really did. They were good sources of entertainment, especially when in pain after spending the night on a couch. At least she didn't have a hangover on top of it. Peyton stood up and stretched out the rest of her muscles before picking up the dirty ice cream bowls from the coffee table and heading into the kitchen. Today was going to be a good day. She could feel it. Or, at least she hoped she had the right feeling about it. Because Peyton knew that there had been far too many times in the past that she'd had the same good feeling and been horrible wrong about it.

_Slow me down  
__Don't let love pass me by  
__Just show me how  
_'_Cause I'm ready to fall  
__Slow me down  
__Don't let me live a lie  
__Before my life flies by  
__I need you to slow me down_

Rachel used her foot to knock on Owen's apartment door, since she had Jayden in one arm and the car seat and duffle bag in the other. She felt kind of weird standing outside Owen's apartment. She'd felt weird last night too when she'd stopped by to get Jayden's things for the night. Maybe it was because she hadn't ever seen the place. Or maybe it was because Owen and herself weren't using anyone as a moderator. They were trying to do it themselves, trying to move past everything and be the parents Jayden needed. Sure they did their best not to make eye contact. And they spoke as little as possible, but at least it was something.

She knocked on the door again with her foot and sighed. Where was he? She told him, she'd have Jayden back by eleven. "Maybe daddy not home." Jayden mused, his voice sounding hopeful. "I thought we were gonna go shopping today."

Rachel sighed. That had been the plan, and then she got a call to go to a photoshoot in LA, and she needed to catch the next flight out of Tree Hill, which was in an hour and a half. She hated leaving like this- so last minute- but she didn't really have a choice. She'd backed out of so many photoshoots in the past that she was sure if Brooke wasn't her boss she'd be fired. "We were gonna go buddy, but I gotta go back to work. You and me will go shopping when I come back to see you, alright?" She knocked on the apartment door with her foot again, shifting Jayden in her arm.

"But mommy, you promised." Jayden looked at her with big brown eyes, and stuck out his bottom lip in a pout.

"I know buddy, but I gotta go to work." Rachel shook her head. "You don't want mommy to lose her job do you?"

"Yes, I do." Jayden pouted, and Rachel could tell he was on the verge of a tantrum.

"No you don't." Rachel sighed. "Because if I lost my job, I wouldn't be able to buy you all those toys you want."

"I don't want toys. I want you."

Rachel's response was cut off by Owen opening the apartment door. She passed him the car seat and duffle bag before shifting Jayden in her arms again and looking down at him. "Okay, buddy, you be good for your dad, alright?" She kissed his forehead before putting him down on the ground. "I love you , Jayden, and I'll call you tonight."

"No!" Jayden crossed his arms at his chest and looked up at her.

"Jayden-"

"You always leave!" Jayden exclaimed, he turned his small body to look up at his dad. "Daddy! Make mommy stay!

"Buddy, I can't do that." Owen shook his head.

Rachel wasn't use to this side of her son. She wasn't use to the tantrum throwing Jayden. Biting her lip, she crouched down in front of him. "Jayden, I promise you I'll be back in a couple of days to take you shopping. And I'll stay for a couple extra days, so we can spend a lot of time together."

"No." Jayden shook his head, his lower lip still jutted out. "You always promise, and it never happens." And Rachel knew he was right. She'd made so many promises to him, and a lot of them had been broken. "Just go." He said suddenly. "Don't come back. I hate you."

Rachel felt like her heart had just been ripped out of her chest and stomped on. Had her son really just said that? The tears stung at her eyes as she looked at the three-year-old. "You don't mean that Jayden, you're just mad at me right now."

"No. I hate you. Go away." Jayden turned, and pushed past his dad to move into the apartment as fast as his little legs would carry him.

Standing up Rachel blinked back her tears. "Give him a hug and kiss for me." She said softly, avoiding Owen's eye contact.

"Rachel-"

"Just do it for me please Owen? I'll call him tonight." Rachel turned, and headed down the hall of the apartment building. She heard Owen call after her, but she ignored it. She headed straight for the rental car and as soon as she was in it, she leaned forward against the steering wheel and let the tears out. Her son had really said it. He really had told her that he hated her. Rachel guessed she deserved it. She'd promised to take him shopping, and then when she gets a call to come to work, she blows off her son and books the next flight. What kind of mother was she? Maybe Jayden would be better off without her. Sure, she knew he hadn't meant what he'd said, but it didn't hurt any less. And, it only made her stop and think about all the shitty things she'd done in the past. All the shitty things she was still doing. Jayden deserved a better mother. He deserved someone who would be able to keep her promises, and that would always be there for him.

_Sometimes I fear that I might disappear  
__In the blur of fast-forward I falter again  
__Forgetting to breathe, I need to sleep  
__I'm getting nowhere  
__All that I've missed I see in the reflection  
__Passed me while I wasn't paying attention  
__Tired of rushing, racing, and running  
__I'm falling apart  
__Tell me  
__Oh won't you take my hand  
__And lead me_

Brooke looked around herself. The house she was currently in was perfect. It was exactly what she'd been thinking about getting for herself. When she had come to Tree Hill she'd planned on just leaving it at a simple visit. But after spending so much time with the people she loved, Brooke had changed her mind. She'd decided to stay in Tree Hill. If her mother didn't like it, well, too bad for her. She was twenty-two years old. She was fit to make her own decisions. She knew what she was doing. She knew what she wanted.

"Well," A voice pulled Brooke out of her thoughts. "What do you think?"

Brooke turned to the woman who had just walked back into the room. "I love the house." She replied. "Especially the furniture." She was being honest. The woman had done wonders with this house. Brooke pointed at the coffee table, "Like that coffee table. I absolutely love it."

The owner of the house seemed to be pleased to hear this. "We got that two summers ago on a vacation in Greece."

"I want it." Brooke said with a smile.

A look of confusion fell over the women's face. "You want the coffee table."

Brooke nodded, her smile still in place. "I want everything." She replied. "The house, the furniture," she paused for a moment. "And if you can be gone in an hour, I'll throw in an extra thirty thousand."

It didn't take the woman long to get over her shock. She seemed to be utterly happy with Brooke's offer. "Enjoy your new house." The woman said, with a large smile as she reached over and picked up her large cat. She paused and looked at Brooke. "You didn't want Beasley, did you?"

Brooke laughed and shook her head. "No, you can keep Beasley."

"Good." The woman nodded. "There's a roast in the oven."

"I love roast." Brooke grinned. "Bye."

She watched as the woman headed upstairs, probably to pack up her own personal belongings. Brooke smiled and looked around herself again. She had a house in Tree Hill. Now all she had to do was talk to her mother. Who surprisingly hadn't called about her whereabouts quite yet. She had been sure her mother would have figured out that she wasn't where she said she was going to be. Oh well, the more time she had without a confrontation from her mother the better.

The ringing of her cell phone, caused Brooke to jump slightly. She slid the phone out of her purse and flipped it open, not bothering to look at the call display. "Hello?"

"Hey, Brooke."

"Owen? What can I do for you?"

"Have you heard from Rachel at all today?"

Brooke crossed her arms. "You know, considering two weeks ago you wouldn't even look at her, I find it really weird that you've been asking about her so much the past couple of days."

She heard Owen sigh. "Look, Rachel dropped Jayden off here a couple of hours ago, and Jayden said a few things that he didn't mean, and Rachel left. Now she's not answering her cell phone."

"What did Jay say Owen?" Brooke questioned, a small bit of worry washing over her.

"Rachel called me around eight this morning and told me she was going to have to drop Jayden off early, because she got a call and was told they needed her for a photoshoot first thing tomorrow morning, so she had to book the earliest flight out of town." Brooke bit her lip, wishing Owen would stop rambling and just get to the point. "Jayden wasn't too happy about it, and when Rachel dropped him off he threw a little fit. He told her he wanted her to leave and not come back." Owen paused. "He told her that he hated her."

'_Oh no._' Was Brooke's first thought. She could only imagine what was going through Rachel's head right now. "Jayden was just upset. He's three years old. He didn't mean it."

Owen sighed again. "I know. And I know Rachel knows it too. I just can't get hold of her. And I don't know if it's because she's just avoiding me. Do you think you can see if she's alright?"

"Yeah, I can do that." Brooke replied. "You know Owen, it's good to know that you still care about her."

"I never stopped Brooke. I gotta go though, Chase just got back. Call me if you hear from her."

"I will. Bye Owen."

Brooke bit her lip as she closed her cell phone. She scrolled through her contacts but instead of calling Rachel she selected Millicent's number. Her brunette assistant answered after one ring. "Hello, Clothes over Bros, Millicent speaking."

"Hi, Milli, it's me."

"Your mom hasn't tracked you down already, has she?"

Brooke couldn't help but smile slightly. "No she hasn't."

"Okay. Good. She's finally figured out you're not Milan. I thought she'd figure it out sooner really. She's been trying to track you down all day, and as far as I know, she can't figure out where you are. You might be safe for a couple more days."

"Thanks for the warning, but that's not why I'm calling."

"Oh." Millicent paused for a moment. "What can I do for you Brooke?"

"Um, since when has there been a photoshoot tomorrow morning?" Brooke questioned. She knew all of the scheduled photoshoots for Clothes over Bros, and as far as she could remember there hadn't been one scheduled all weekend.

"Right. About that. Victoria was getting the February edition of the magazine together, and she wasn't too happy with some of the photos, so she decided to redo them."

"It's my magazine. I make the ultimate decisions. And the pictures for it were fine." Brooke pinched the bridge of her nose. Why was her mother messing with a good thing?

"Your mother is intimidating Brooke. None of us wanted to tell her no. And she made the decision so last minute, that no one was really given the chance to call you. I'm sorry."

"It's fine Milli. I'm gonna try to call Rachel. I'll talk to you later."

"Bye Brooke."

"Bye, Milli." Brooke closed her cell phone and sighed. She should have known that leaving work would be a bad idea. It seemed her mother was trying to completely take over again and she wasn't going to be able to avoid calling her for very much longer.

Brooke looked down at her phone and quickly dialled Rachel's cell number. She listened to it ring a couple of times before she got Rachel's voicemail. She sighed. "Hey Rach, it's me. I got a call from Owen a little while ago. He's worried about you, you know. And so am I. You know Jay didn't mean what he said." She sighed. "Just call me when you get this, okay? I guess you're already on the plane. Bye slut."

She closed her cell phone once again, and slid it back into her purse. Brooke really hoped that Rachel would call her back. Part of her worried that Rachel wouldn't. After all the past week she hadn't heard from Rachel until she was in town. Brooke glanced over at the front door noticing the previous owner of the house leaving with a couple of bags and her cat. She smiled at the woman and offered her a small wave. It looked like it was time to move in and get settled, maybe that would keep her from worrying about Rachel for a bit.

_Slow me down  
__Don't let love pass me by  
__Just show me how  
_'_Cause I'm ready to fall  
__Slow me down  
__Don't let me live a lie  
__Before my life flies by  
__I need you to slow me down_

"How did I get roped into this again?" Lucas questioned, looking over at Brooke as he shifted the coffee table.

"You love me and couldn't say no." Brooke replied with a grin. She paused and looked over at Lindsey. "Of course not in that 'I want to marry you and have a family way'. It's more of a 'we're great friends and I've got your back' love."

Lindsey just laughed and shook her head. "It's okay, Brooke. I understand you guys have a past, but Lucas keeps reassuring me that it's going to stay there."

Brooke nodded. "He's right. It will be staying there." She paused for a moment. "Move it back, Luke. It looked better where it was originally."

Lucas turned to look at Brooke. He'd moved the stupid coffee table about five times now, and it was heavy. It would have been nice to have some help, but apparently everyone else was busy.

"Don't give me that look, Lucas. You offered to help." Brooke stated, crossing her arms at her chest.

"Yes, I offered to help, but I didn't think I'd have to move everything around a bunch of times, before you decide to just leave it the way it was." Lucas replied.

Brooke rolled her eyes, a smile on her lips. "Oh, stop complaining Broody. You know you love helping me."

"I like helping you when I don't have to move around an entire living room four times."

"You're exaggerating." Brooke replied. "And we helped you."

"Barely."

Brooke raised an eyebrow. "Someone's a little cranky today." She turned to Lindsey. "You keep him up all night or something?"

Lindsey laughed and shook her head. "No, I didn't. Jamie came in and woke him up first thing this morning."

"Nobody's fault but your own, Broody." Brooke mused, patting his chest. "You're the one who let Jamie stay the night at your place. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna try to get a hold of my new roomie."

Lucas watched as Brooke turned and headed up the stairs. Her new roomie was more specifically Peyton. When Brooke had called him earlier to tell him about her new house, she'd informed him that there were enough rooms for Peyton and Rachel to both have their own. She even commented that Jayden would be able to have his own room when he came to spend time with Rachel. It seemed to Lucas that Brooke had figured it all out. It was classic Brooke Davis, knowing what she wants and going for it. He was happy for her.

"So, you're two ex-girlfriends living in the same house, kind of weird isn't it?" Lindsey suddenly mused, drawing Lucas' attention.

Lucas looked up at her with a raised eyebrow. "Not really. They lived together in the past." He shrugged slightly.

Lindsey smiled slightly. "Okay, now if I moved in with them, things would be weird."

"And a little awkward." Lucas replied, a small smile coming to his lips as he moved towards his girlfriend.

"Hmm, maybe I should talk to Brooke. See if she has room for one more." Lindsey mused, and Lucas could tell she was joking.

Lucas raised an eyebrow, deciding to carry on with the joke. "What? You don't like staying at my house? I thought you liked it there."

"I don't know anymore." Lindsey shrugged, looking around the room. "I kind of like it here a little bit better."

"Really?" Lucas questioned wrapping his arms around her. "If you stay here though you won't be getting any of this." He lowered his head and brought his lips to hers.

"Mmm. That may be reason enough to stay at your place." Lindsey smiled against his lips.

"Guys. Please." Brooke's voice made the two pull apart. "Get a room." She paused. "Just not in this house. Preferably you'll go back to Luke's and do that."

Lucas laughed and shook his head. A smile stayed on his lips as he looked over at Brooke. She was still the same girl he remembered from high school, and at the same time she wasn't. It was clear that Brooke had grown up a lot. She'd done a lot for herself and her friends. But, it was clear the Brooke Davis from high school still lingered below the surface.

_Just show me  
__I need you to slow me down  
__The noise of the world is getting me caught up  
__Chasing the clock and I wish I could stop it  
__Just need to breathe, somebody please  
__Slow me down_

* * *

AN: Thanks again for all the reviews you guys. I'm trying to get updates every week, but with school it's going to be harder. But I will try. Anyway, the drama in this fic is just getting started, trust me there's some fairly good stuff to come. And I pormise this is going to end up being a Brucas fic, it's just gonna take a bit of time. I would like to thank Ravenscircle, cRiMsOnGoDdEsS01, bruasever, Long Live BRUCAS, .Cinnamon,ravencheerleader, tanya2byour21, cRaZyGuRl093, bella, TVCrazed, and centuryshorty for your reviews. Really, eleven reviews last chapter? That's awesome in my books. It really leaves me incredibly happy and inspired getting all your opinions. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Leave me a review to let me know, I'll love you forever for it.


	11. Acid Tongue pt1

"_**That guy is either gonna stand on his own two feet or he's gonna fall, but he has to do it on his own. That's the scary truth. We're all alone."  
**__**~ Rachel Gatina**_

Rachel had almost been late this morning. Apparently giving her the right time hadn't been the plan. If it hadn't been for a conversation with one of the other models in the photoshoot, Rachel would have been extremely late. But that didn't matter. All that mattered at the moment was the photoshoot was finally done. It was now one in the afternoon, she'd been up since four thirty this morning. The whole things seemed to drag on. She was currently sitting out front of Victoria's office. Apparently the tyrant wanted to talk to her. What it was about, Rachel had no idea. With Victoria it was always hard to tell what exactly she was thinking.

She pulled her cell phone out of her purse as she waited and scrolled down her contacts list. She'd called Brooke back last night when her plane landed, and the two friends ended up having a two hour long conversation. Before and after it she'd called Owen to see if Jayden was willing to talk yet. Both times the answer had been no- which was now why Rachel was dialling her ex-boyfriend's number. She'd been planning on calling Jayden before her photoshoot, but that plan hadn't worked out.

The phone rang for what seemed like forever. When she was about to hang up, someone finally answered the phone, "Hello?"

"Owen. Hi. It's me. Is Jayden ready to talk to me yet?" She found herself biting her lip, her nerves getting the best of her. Rachel couldn't stand this- not being able to talk to her son. She should have stayed in Tree Hill. If she hadn't jumped and caught the next flight, Jayden wouldn't be mad at her right now.

"One minute." Silence followed. Rachel couldn't really make out any of the sounds on the other end. It mostly sounded like shuffling around. After a couple of minutes she heard Owen's voice again. "He doesn't seem to be up to it."

Rachel closed her eyes, and leaned her head back against the wall. "Okay...just...um...tell him that I love him. I'll try again later today."

"Rach, you know he's just being stubborn." Owen said his voice soft and almost soothing to her. "He gets that from you."

"You're pretty stubborn yourself Owen. I'm pretty sure he gets it from the both of us." Rachel said softly. It was weird to talk to Owen on the phone. Ever since their little yelling match about a week ago, things had been different. They were able to talk to each other, with only minimal yelling, and being in the same room wasn't as horrible anymore. Sure part of Rachel still just wanted to be in his arms, to kiss him, to hear him say he loved her, but she'd pushed past that part. "I've gotta go though, I'll try calling back later." She closed her cell phone not giving Owen a chance to say anything else. The more she heard his voice, the more she wished they were still together.

Rachel slid her cell phone back into her purse, before closing her eyes. She wasn't sure how much time had passed when she heard Victoria's office door open. "Miss. Gatina, you made it. Here I was thinking you wouldn't show."

Opening her eyes, Rachel looked up at Victoria. She forced a smile onto her lips as she stood to face Brooke's mother. "Mrs. Davis, I was told you wanted to see me, I wouldn't skip out on a meeting with you."

"Stop being sarcastic and get into my office."

"Aww, Mrs. Davis, I didn't know you played for the same team. Does Brooke know? I don't know how well she'd take it." Annoying Brooke's mother was one of Rachel's favourite past times, this was mainly because she despised the woman. Sometimes she didn't know how Brooke put up with Victoria, or why she allowed Victoria to have so much control over the company. But then again, part of Rachel understood. Brooke was trying to get her mother's attention. She was trying to get her mother to show her some form of affection. The company was really the only thing that kept the mother and daughter together.

Victoria gave her a weird look. "And what exactly are you talking about?"

Of course Victoria wouldn't fully wrap her head around it. "Nothing, Mrs. Davis." Rachel shrugged before moving past her into the office. "So, why exactly did you want to see me?" She was really curious. Usually Victoria did her best to avoid her. And Rachel always did her best to avoid Victoria. Really, it was a good deal.

She watched as Victoria moved around the desk and sat down. "The photoshoot this morning was your last one. The money has already gone into your bank account. As of right now, you are done modelling for Clothes over Bros."

Rachel froze, her mind screaming. Was this bitch for real? She couldn't do this. This was Brooke's company, and there was no way her brunette friend would agree to this. "You... you can't do this." Rachel said when her voice finally came back to her.

A smile came to Victoria's lips, though it looked more like an evil smirk. "I sure can." She stated. "You see, Miss. Gatina, I've been waiting for this very moment for a long time. My daughter has been very keen on keeping you around. But the fact that I own the majority of the shares in this company, and that the board okayed this move gives me great pleasure." She paused. "Rachel Gatina, you are no longer part of this company, if you don't remove yourself from the premises I will have you removed by security."

Rachel was too in shock to move at first. This couldn't be happening. She couldn't be fired. "You can't do this." She said again, hoping that this was all some messed up dream. "This is Brooke's company."

"My daughter isn't here. She's in that hick town you guys love so much." Victoria replied. "And that is why the board has given me the ability to fire you. Look at it this way Miss. Gatina, now you can spend all of the time you want with that son of yours." Victoria looked at her for a moment before saying, "Now please remove yourself from the premises."

Rachel felt numb. Maybe that was why she didn't remember leaving the office. Maybe that was why she didn't remember getting into the cab or walking into the apartment she shared with Brooke. Maybe that was why she didn't remember opening the wine they had in the fridge, or curling up on the couch and drinking until she forgot all of the events that had taken place the past couple of days.

_I went to a cobbler  
__To fix a hole in my shoe  
__He took one look at my face  
__And said, "I can fix that hole in you."_

Peyton didn't really know why she was doing it to herself. Drinking alone in a dark room wasn't a good idea- especially when it was only seven at night. Something in her had snapped when she saw Lindsey and Lucas together, yet again. And, drowning her sorrows in alcohol seemed to be the right solution. She wanted Lucas back so badly. Peyton had made a mistake, did she really have to pay for it like this? She brought the bottle to her lips again and downed a bit more of it.

They were all supposed to meet here tonight- Tric. Peyton had left the house Brooke and herself now shared early, and found herself hiding out almost immediately. She'd gotten something to drink, and gone straight to the back office. Sure she probably shouldn't be back here, but it was the only place she could think of to be alone.

Tilting her head back, Peyton looked at the ceiling, her feet propped up on the desk. She probably shouldn't be doing this to herself. What was the point in getting upset about it? Lucas had clearly moved on- and she couldn't be mad about that. After she'd said 'someday' and Lucas left, she'd found herself a rebound. Of course, the relationship hadn't lasted too long, but it had been nice. Getting angry at Lucas for moving on was hypocritical of her, but she couldn't help it. All she wanted was to know that Lucas still loved her and wanted her back.

"Peyton?"

Peyton squinted into the darkness. She was pretty sure she recognized the voice. It was Lucas wasn't it? Or was she hearing things now? She didn't respond and before she knew it the blinding light was turned on. Peyton winced. "God Lucas, warn a girl next time, would you?" She put the bottle she had in her hand down on the desk, and looked up at him, eyes squinting slightly.

"What are you doing back here by yourself?" Lucas questioned as he moved further into the office.

"I just needed some alone time." Peyton shrugged, looking down at the desk. "I needed to think about things. Try to figure out where I'm going with my life."

"You're doing that type of thinking while in a bar, alone, drinking?"

"It seemed like a logical move to me." Peyton replied with another shrug. "Could you just...leave me alone Lucas?"

"Peyton-"

Peyton cut him off. "Just go Lucas. I want to be alone."

Lucas sighed. "If you change your mind Peyton, come find us."

Peyton watched as Lucas turned and started to leave the room. "Turn off the light, would you?" Lucas didn't say anything as he did as he was asked. Once the office door was closed, Peyton picked up the bottle of alcohol again, and brought it to her lips. This was what she wanted to sit alone and think. Think about how she could possibly get Lucas Scott back.

_I beg your pardon  
__I'm not looking for a cure  
__Seen enough of my friends  
__In the depths of the godsick blues_

Nathan watched as Haley made her way back to the table. He smiled at her, knowing exactly where she had gone. "Jamie being good?" He questioned. Haley always seemed to do that when they went out, and left Jamie with someone else. Okay, Nathan himself was pretty guilty of the exact same thing.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Haley replied innocently as she sat down beside him. "I just had to go to the bathroom."

"I know you Hales, you were calling the house to check on Jamie. Just admit it." He grinned at his wife, knowing that he was in fact right.

Haley sighed and shook her head. "Okay. I called the house."

"And?"

"And Tamara said Jamie's being an angel and teaching her how to play basketball."

Nathan laughed. "That's my boy."

"So where's everyone else?" Haley asked, glancing around.

"I don't know." Nathan shrugged. "I think Lucas went off to find Peyton, and Brooke's not here yet."

Haley smiled. "Of course Brooke's not here yet. She calls us and tells us to meet her and she decides to be fashionably late."

"I'm sure she'll be here soon." Nathan laughed. Brooke had tried to get everyone together tonight, but a lot of people couldn't exactly make it. As far as he knew it was just going to be Lucas, Peyton, Brooke, Haley, and himself. Lindsey was supposed to join them, but Lucas had said something about her not feeling good and deciding to stay home. So, there was only going to be a small group out tonight.

He looked over at his wife, and watched her for a moment. She was biting her lip and staring at the top of the table. "Hales, what's wrong?" He asked her after a moment as he brought a hand to rest on the small of her back.

Haley looked up at him with a small smile. "Nothing's wrong, Nate." She replied. "I'm just thinking."

"You gonna share your thoughts?"

"Have you noticed anything wrong with Peyton?" She questioned.

Nathan wasn't really sure where Haley was going with that question. Haley had told him about Peyton still having feelings for Lucas not too long ago. It didn't really surprise Nathan at all. He was pretty sure Brooke still had feelings for Lucas as well. "Not really...why?"

Haley shrugged. "I don't know, it's just... ever since the day of Jayden's party she's been so distant." She paused and looked up at him. "I think she might be mad at me because I told her to leave Lucas alone."

"I don't think she's mad at you Haley. She's probably just not too happy about seeing Lindsey and Lucas together."

"Yeah, that's probably it. I'm just worried about her I guess."

Nathan smiled at his wife. "I know."

"What are you two crazy cats up to?" Brooke questioned as she made her way to the table.

"Waiting for you Davis." Nathan replied. "You're twenty minutes late."

"I know, and I'm sorry." Brooke shrugged sitting down. "I got distracted. Where's Peyton?"

"We don't know. Lucas went to go look for her." Nathan replied. He was still trying to figure out his brother. He couldn't really tell where Lucas was at when it came to the women he 'loved'. Did he really want to stay with Lindsey? Or did he want to ask Peyton to marry him again? Or did he want to try his luck with Brooke Davis, the girl he lost senior year?

"Alright." Brooke nodded. "I'm going to get a round of drinks for everyone so we can get this party started, be right back."

Nathan watched as the brunette left with a grin on her face. She was definitely still the Brooke Davis he remembered from high school. Sure she was grown up in most senses, but she was still that crazy cheerleader that everyone knew and loved.

_You know I am a liar  
__You know I am a liar  
__Nobody helps a liar_

Peyton didn't know how much longer she'd been sitting in the office, alone. All she really knew was that Lucas had left, and her drink was done. Right now, she was pathetic. She couldn't figure out why she was letting herself stoop this low. Haley was right. Lucas was happy with Lindsey, and it was her own fault that he wasn't happy with her right now. She was the one who had turned him away when he was offering her his heart wholly and unconditionally. She'd screwed up, but didn't she deserve a second chance?

Putting the empty bottle down on the desk, Peyton stood up. She made her way to the office door, stumbling slightly. She wasn't drunk, though she was a little tipsy. After a few more drinks- strong ones- she'd have herself a great night. Maybe she'd find some hot guy to take her mind of Lucas. Yeah, right. That probably wouldn't happen.

She made her way out of the office and to the bar, where she ordered herself a strong drink. It didn't really matter to her what was in the glass, as long as it was strong. While she waited for her drink, Peyton glanced around the club. The place was pretty packed. Not that it surprised her, it was a Saturday night after all. And even though it was only seven, or seven thirty at night, it kind of made sense to Peyton that people would already be out and about drinking their problems away. Drinking their loneliness and the pain away.

"P. Sawyer, I was wondering where you were. I saw you at the house before you left and then that was it, you just disappeared."

Peyton forced a smile upon her lips as she turned to face her brunette friend. "Well, Brooke, what can I say? I found me some hot guy to go after for the night."

Brooke's eyebrows rose, "Really?"

"No," Peyton sighed. "But it sounded good, didn't it?"

"It sounded really good." Brooke nodded, a smile on her lips. "I think we should make that our goals tonight. Find us hot boys to make out with and possibly take home... or you know, go home with." Brooke winked at her.

Peyton's smile became a little less forced. It was nice to have her lifelong friend around, even if they had their problems in the past. Brooke always seemed to make things a little more bearable for her. "You know what? I say, let's go for it." She nodded as the bartender placed the drink she ordered in front of her. "I think it sounds like fun."

Brooke smiled. "Kay, I'll meet up with you later than to discuss both of our possibilities for the night. And, if it doesn't work out for either of us, we'll sit in front of the tv and pig out on ice cream and chocolate."

Laughing, Peyton nodded. "Alright, I'll see you later B. Davis. Have fun with the hunt."

"You too, P. Sawyer."

Peyton watched as her friend walked away. She picked up the glass that had been placed in front of her and brought it to her lips. There was really only one guy that she wanted to try her luck with, and that was Lucas. Who knew, maybe tonight would be her lucky night.

'_Cause I've been down to Dixie  
__And dropped acid on my tongue  
__Tripped upon the land  
_'_Til enough was enough_

Rachel pulled the blanket closer around herself as she lay on the couch. Her eyes were closed as she listened to the talk show that was currently on tv. She was sulking, there was no other description that fit her current state. Her son hated her, and she'd just been fired. Really, where was her life going? No where seemed like a great answer at the moment. She didn't see much hope in it getting any better. Things just sucked.

A knock on the apartment door, motivated Rachel to open her eyes. She stared at the tv in front of her with no intention to get up. Whoever it was could come back at another time, Rachel just wanted to be left alone to her sulking. But that was probably too much to ask for at this point in time. There was another knock and Rachel groaned. "Go away, go away, go away." She whispered repeatedly, closing her eyes again.

"Rachel!" A familiar female voice floated through the door, as another knock echoed through the apartment. "I know you're in there."

She forced herself to sit up on the couch. Her head spun slightly, and she glanced over at the empty wine bottle sitting on the coffee table, beside an empty bottle of Smirnoff vodka. That would explain the spinning. Rachel waited until the room stopped moving, before she stood up and headed towards the apartment door.

"What can I do for you Meredith?" She questioned as she opened the door and looked at the blonde.

"I heard that you were fired." Meredith replied. "I thought I'd come to see if you wanted to go out with me. Though, it's clear by your appearance that you need to go out. You've already tapped into the alcohol, haven't you?"

"Can you blame me?" Rachel asked, she sounded tired. She felt tired. She was just so drained from everything that had happened over the past month.

"Stop being a downer, Rach." Meredith said as she pushed her way past Rachel and into the apartment.

"I currently have a right to be, so if you don't mind Meredith, I'd like to be left alone."

"Nonsense." Meredith rolled her eyes, and pulled Rachel away from the door before closing it. "You and I are going to get you changed, and then we're going to go for dinner. After that we're going to go out to a club and party it up."

"What if I don't want to?"

Meredith shrugged. "I don't really care if you want to or not. What we're going to do tonight is help you forget all the crap that's happened, just for a little bit. It'll help. I promise." She linked arms with Rachel and started to lead her to her bedroom.

Rachel sighed. What harm would going out do? Maybe Meredith was right. Maybe it would help her forget for a little while. Being able to forget, would help make it all better for a bit. And right now that's what she needed. She needed to forget that Owen still hated her. She needed to forget that her parents were getting a divorce. She needed to forget that her son had told her to go away and that he hated her. She needed to forget that her best friend's mother had just fired her from a job she loved. Yes. This was exactly what she needed. A night out that would help her forget.

_I was a little bit lighter  
__And adventure on my sleeve  
__I was a little drunk  
__And looking for company_

Lucas excused himself from where he sat talking with Haley and Nathan to quickly call Lindsey. At the last minute tonight, she'd decided to stay at the house. She told him that she wasn't feeling very good, but he didn't know if he fully believed that. He made his way towards where the bathrooms were to make his phone call.

Leaning back against the wall, he dialled Lindsey's cell number. She was more likely to answer her cell phone then the house phone. It was a couple of rings before Lindsey actually answered. "Hey Luke."

"How are you feeling?" He asked, smiling at the sound of her voice.

"Better." Lindsey replied. "You having fun with your friends?"

"Yeah, I'd have a bit more fun if you were here though."

Lindsey laughed softly. "I'm sure you would. Now, why don't you hang up and go back to them? I'm fun here alone, I was thinking of going to sleep early."

Lucas sighed. "Are you sure?" He'd asked her about ten times before he'd left the house and he knew it was probably getting extremely annoying to her.

"I'm positive. Go have fun, Luke. Don't worry about me. I'll see you when you get home."

"Okay, if you're sure. I love you."

"I love you too, Lucas."

Lucas listened to the click on the other end before he slid his cell phone back into his pocket. He glanced around himself for a moment, pondering going home right now. Brooke probably wouldn't be too happy about. She didn't seem all that happy when Skills and Mouth both said they wouldn't be able to make it out tonight. He might as well stay, it was nice to see Brooke happy.

"Lucas?"

He turned his head to see Peyton nearby. At least she wasn't still in the back office, drinking alone in the dark. "Hey Peyton, came out of hiding to join the rest of the world, I see."

"You could say that." Peyton shrugged as she walked closer to him.

"You're done with your thinking in the dark?" He questioned, eyebrow raised.

Peyton nodded, a smile on her lips as she came to a stop right in front of Lucas. "I'm done with the thinking." And, before Lucas could even process what was going on, he felt her lips against his. Once his brain finally clued him into what was going on, he placed his hands on her shoulders, and pushed her away.

"You want this too, Luke, you know you do." Peyton said softly.

Lucas shook his head. "No, Peyton, I don't. I'm with Lindsey now. You... you said no, and I moved on. You should too."

"You still love me Lucas, you and I both know that."

"Of course I still love you Peyton." Lucas replied softly. "Part of me will always love you. Just like part of me will always love Brooke." It was the truth. He'd always love the both of them. They had both been such big parts of his life. Hell, his first book was about the two of them- the first half about Brooke, the second half about Peyton. "But, I don't love you in the way you think I do. I love Lindsey, Peyton. You have to realize we're over."

Peyton looked at him silently, shaking her head. And, Lucas tried to read the expression on her face, but he couldn't. "You'll change your mind Lucas." She said softly, before turning around and walking away. Leaving Lucas to try to process what the hell had just happened.

_So I found myself a sweetheart  
__With the softest of hands  
__We were unlucky in love  
__But I'd do it all again_

Brooke smiled as she spotted Lucas making his way towards her. "Hey, Broody, you look like you've seen a ghost. You okay?"

"I'm fine." Lucas shrugged as he plopped himself down in the seat across from her.

Brooke didn't believe him, but she didn't want to push Lucas into telling her what exactly was going on in that head of his. "I'm glad you could make it out tonight, you'll have to tell Lindsey that I hope she feels better."

Lucas nodded. "I'll do that. Sorry not everyone could make it out tonight."

"It's fine." Brooke said with a smile. "We've all grown up, and had to face the real world. The real world seems to like making plans harder to put together. It's like the real world has something against us."

"I think the real world is just pushing us to do our best."

Brooke wrinkled her nose. "You're making the real world sound all positive. Can't you let me live in my little bubble of negativity for a bit?" She asked playfully. It was always nice to sit and talk to Lucas. While living in New York, she always made an attempt to call him every once in a while, and when Rachel had started to stay with him she'd called him a little more frequently. That was how she found out about Lindsey.

When Lucas had told her about Lindsey, only Haley and Nathan knew about her and Lucas had seemed pretty keen on keeping it that way. She'd felt a pang of jealousy knowing he'd found a new love, but she smiled through it. Lucas was happy. And with Lucas being happy, she was happy. Only, it was clear Peyton didn't feel the same way. Her blonde friend didn't seem happy that Lucas had moved on at all, and it had been made clear to Brooke why Lucas had wanted to keep his dating life on the down low.

"I guess I can let you stay in that little bubble of yours." Lucas replied, a smile on his lips.

Brooke grinned. "There we go, a smile, I was beginning to think you weren't capable of those anymore, Broody."

Lucas shook his head, his smile still in place. "So how's the house working out for you and Peyton?" He asked, clearly trying to change the subject.

"Great." Brooke replied. "It's nice to finally have a home in Tree Hill, again. I missed it here." She paused and bit her lip, as she looked at Lucas. She missed the town and the people in it. "I'm thinking of opening a Clothes over Bros here."

"Really?"

Brooke nodded. She'd been thinking about it for awhile. When the company had started, she'd wanted the first location to be in Tree Hill, but her mother had talked her out of it, telling her it wouldn't be a smart idea. And of course she'd listened to what her mother had suggested. The company was big now, bigger than Rachel would have ever hoped. But, still, a big part of her wanted her store in Tree Hill, because it was home. "I just have to find a location, get the shipments in order, and then I can probably make it happen."

"I have no doubt you can make it happen. You can do anything you set your mind to, Pretty Girl." Lucas smiled at her. "You know, if you do need a location, my mom's cafe is empty and available."

"I couldn't do that, Luke. I'd have to tear the place apart, and it's got so many good memories in it."

"Well, there will be new memories with it." Lucas replied. "And I'm sure that my mom won't mind at all."

"Okay..." Brooke trailed off as she thought about it. "I'll call your mom tomorrow, and see what she thinks. Because I need to hear it's okay from her." She liked the idea really. Karen's Cafe, held so many memories, it would be the perfect place for the latest Clothes over Bros location. Brooke knew her mother wouldn't be too happy about it, but she personally loved the idea. It was her company after all, she was the one who had the final say.

_We build ourselves a fire  
__We build ourselves a fire  
__But you know I am a liar  
__You know I am a liar_

_

* * *

_

AN: I just want to give a quick thank you to my friend Day, who is basically my m_usical inspiration for the majority of this fic. Either I tell her my plans for the chapter and she gives me music that fits it, or she'll give me music and I'll shape my chapters around it. She's crazy good with the music, and how she puts up with me I have no idea! I'm always pestering her like 'Day, read this, does that sound brookish?' or 'how 'bout this, can you see Rachel actually doing this?' or 'hehe. I totally just wrote a scene between Brooke and Rachel and stole the conversation we had last night'. She's a great friend and I'm always appreciative of her help. Also want to say thank you to Ravenscircle, brucasever, centuryshorty, cRaZyGuRl093, cRiMsOnGoDdEsS01, tanya2byour21, TVCrazed, and Long Live BRUCAS for your reviews. Means a lot to me guys. And I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. And, on an off note, I'm so angry. The theatre in town isn't playing Fired Up, and I've been looking forward to it for weeks! Stupid theatre._


	12. Acid Tongue pt2

"_**Why is it that it's so much easier to forgive a stranger than someone you love?"  
**__**~ Haley James-Scott**_

Haley approached her blonde haired friend. She couldn't help but be angry about what she'd seen. What had Peyton been thinking? "I thought I told you to back off."

Peyton turned to face her, a look of confusion across her face. "Haley... what are you talking about?"

Haley shook her head. She couldn't believe Peyton was playing stupid right now. "I told you to leave Luke alone. I told you him and Lindsey are happy."

"I don't know what you're talking about Haley." Peyton said softly.

"Don't lie Peyton. You know what you did. I saw you." Haley said, anger flowing through her. "And you are so lucky that it was me who walked in and not Lindsey."

"You saw..." Peyton trailed off, looking at Haley confused. "What exactly did you see Haley, 'cause I have no idea what you're talking about Haley."

Haley leaned closer to Peyton, her voice low in an attempt to keep others from hearing. "I saw you kiss Lucas, Peyton. You seriously need to leave him alone. Don't ruin his happiness, because you're miserable with the decisions you've made."

"You have no idea what you're talking about Haley, so just leave it alone." Peyton glared at her.

"I know what I saw, Peyton. Leave Lucas alone." Haley turned, not wanting to hear what else Peyton might have to say. Instead she sought after her brunette friend. It didn't take her long to spot Brooke in the crowd. So, putting on a smile, she headed towards her. "Hey, Brooke, I think I'm gonna find Nathan and head out."

"What?" Brooke pouted slightly. "Already? It's not even nine yet."

"I know, I just kind of want to get home to tuck Jamie in and say goodnight. We'll go for coffee in the morning or something."

"How about I come over to your place for coffee and breakfast?" Brooke questioned, flashing Haley a smile.

Haley laughed and nodded. "That works just fine." She hugged her friend. "I'll see you tomorrow Tigger."

"Bye Tutor-mom."

Haley smiled at Brooke, before making her way through the crowd. She'd already said goodbye to Lucas before she tracked down Peyton. So, all she had to do was find that lovely husband of hers. It took Haley a little bit, but she was finally able to track Nathan down. "Hey husband." Haley said softly, wrapping her arms around him from behind, her chin resting on his shoulder. "You ready to head home, to see our boy and tuck him in?"

Nathan turned his head, and kissed her cheek. "I am, if you are."

Haley nodded, unwrapping her arms and standing back slightly. "I am. I already let everyone know we were going to go." She slipped her hand into Nathan's pocket as he stood up, and pulled out the car keys. "And, I'm driving." Haley turned and headed for the exit, knowing Nathan was right behind her.

She made her way outside and went straight to their car, unlocking the doors and getting in. Haley put the key into the ignition and just sat there for a moment. Nathan slid into the passenger seat, and Haley could feel his eyes on her. "Okay, Haley, what's going on? That was kind of a quick exit back there. Did Tamara call? Is there something wrong with Jamie?"

Haley shook her head. "Jamie's fine..." She trailed off and bit her lip. "I saw something earlier..."

"What exactly is this 'something'?"

Haley turned her head and looked at her husband. She didn't keep secrets from him, and she needed him to tell her what the smart thing would be to do about what she'd witnessed earlier. "I saw Peyton kiss Lucas."

"You... what?" Nathan looked confused as he tried to process the information she'd just fed him.

"I was walking to the bathroom, and I turned a corner only to see Peyton kissing Lucas." Haley shook her head. "I don't know what to do Nate, should I tell Lindsey? She has a right to know. I mean, if I was in her place, I would want to know."

Nathan sighed, and was quite for a moment. "Lucas should tell Lindsey himself."

"But what if he doesn't?" Haley's voice was soft. She always worried about her best friend. And with his track record with women she had reason to worry. It wasn't like he'd told Brooke when Peyton and him were sneaking around her back. "If he doesn't tell her Nathan... then I have to. Lindsey has become a good friend to me. I don't want to see her hurt, just like I can't stand seeing Lucas hurt." She sighed. "God, I told Peyton to stay away from him. To let him be happy. Why couldn't she have just listened to me?"

"Because she still loves him." Nathan replied softly. "She can't stand seeing him happy with someone else, because she knows she made a big mistake."

"But kissing him?" Haley shook her head. "She's ruining his happiness again. Doesn't she realize that? When she said no to him, she broke his heart, and he finally found someone to mend those pieces back together. And now that Peyton's back, it's like she's trying to break his heart again."

"Peyton's just upset. I know it sounds like I'm defending her, but I'm just trying to make sure you're seeing both sides here Hales."

Haley nodded, and turned away from Nathan as she looked out the window of the car. She turned the key in the ignition, starting the engine. "I know, Nate. And I'm happy you are. But, even though Peyton's a friend of mine too, Lucas comes first. He always has." She said, before putting the car into drive and pulling out of the parking lot. Haley really hoped Lucas told Lindsey about the kiss, before she found out from someone else. Telling Lindsey right away could save him from another heartache.

_And you don't know what I've done_

Owen yawned as he pulled the black shirt over his head. It was nine at night, and he was getting ready to head to work. His nights were routine for the most part. Eat dinner. Give Jayden a bath. Wait for his mother, or the babysitter to get there. Have a shower. Get ready for work. Put Jayden to bed. Go to work. Come home. Sleep.

Running a hand over his short brown hair, Owen turned and left the small bedroom, moving across the hall to Jayden's room. The apartment was small, but he preferred it over a house. Most of the time it was just Jayden and himself, and the apartment was just fine for the two of them. "You ready to get tucked in buddy?" He questioned, looking over at his son who was playing with a few of his toys on the floor.

"Do I have to go to sleep?" Jayden questioned, looking up at him from where he sat on his bedroom floor, clearly not happy with the idea of having to go to bed already.

Owen smiled slightly, crouching down in front of his son. "'Fraid so, Jay."

Jayden pouted a little. "Can't I stay up with grandma?"

Owen's mother had moved to Tree Hill shortly after he'd moved there. She managed to get herself an apartment in the same building as himself. She'd told him it was so that she could help out with Jayden. Owen believed it was because she was lonely, so he didn't question it. He loved his mother. They may have had some difficulty in the past, but he still loved her.

"No, buddy, it's already past your bedtime." Owen replied shaking his head. "Come on, let's get you tucked in so I can go to work."

Jayden sighed, standing up. He dragged his little feet the short way to his 'big boy' bed. It had been one of his birthday presents. A bed without railings. It had been one of the things Jayden waned. He'd asked for a bed like Jamie's, so Owen had given his son exactly what he wanted. He couldn't say no to his son, just like Rachel couldn't.

Owen stood up and watched as his son pushed back the blankets and reached for the small stuffed bear that sat on the corner of the bed. Jayden loved the stuff bear, though he refused to take it out of his bedroom out of fear of losing it. The three-year-old seemed to need the small stuffed bear to help him sleep. Though, that wasn't the case when he spent weekends with Rachel.

Owen could still remember the day Rachel had bought it. She'd been five months pregnant, and had begged him to go to the mall with her. They had spent three hours walking in circles, with Rachel continually complaining about how there were all these cute clothes and shoes but she couldn't wear any of it. She'd stopped mid complaint though as they walked through one of the stores, and gripped onto his arm. Owen had instantly thought something was wrong, but before he could say anything, Rachel was moving his hand to her belly telling him the baby kicked. It seemed to put Rachel into a better mood, the smile never leaving her face, and an hour later she had a small teddy bear in her hands, telling him they had to get it. That it was perfect for their baby.

"Daddy?" Owen was pulled out of the memory by his son's voice.

"Yeah, Jay?" He questioned as he moved over to the bed.

"When are you gonna be home?"

"Late buddy." Owen replied. Jayden always as the same question, and he always gave him the same answer. "But as soon as I come in that door, I'll make my way in here to say goodnight to you again. Just don't stay up waiting, okay?"

"Kay, daddy." Jayden nodded, hugging the stuffed bear to him as he lied down in the bed. "Did mommy call?"  
Owen sighed as he pulled the blanket over Jayden. Rachel hadn't called since that afternoon, when Jayden had still been refusing to talk to her. "Not since earlier today."

"I have to say sorry."

"I know Jay. We'll call her in the morning, okay?" Owen smiled softly at his son. "She'll be happy to hear from you."

Jayden looked up at him. "Daddy, do you still love mommy?"

His son's question threw him off slightly. He still loved Rachel. It was why it hurt so much to see her, and know what she had done. Ever since their confrontation and Lucas' house the week before Jayden's birthday, and the conversation he'd had with Brooke and Lucas he'd been trying really hard to get past the pain. He was trying so hard to make things right between Rachel and himself for their son's sake. Chase's anger at Rachel, made Owen shake his head. It almost seemed pointless to Owen to stay angry at Rachel, while his cousin and friend's anger seemed to be enough for the both of them. Maybe he should take that step, maybe he should sit down and talk to Rachel with no raised voices and forgive her. "Of course I do. I will always love your mom. Just like I'll always love you."

"I love you and mommy too." Jayden yawned.

Owen smiled, and leaned down kissing his son's forehead. "Night buddy."

"Night daddy."

He watched Jayden for a moment, waiting until his son's eyes closed before he stood up. Owen turned off the light on his way out of the room, leaving the door open a crack. Looking over at his mom he said with a smile, "He should be asleep soon. Thanks again mom."

"Anything for my little boy." She replied, smiling back at him. "Now, go get to work, you don't want to be late. I'll see you later."

Owen picked up his coat from the back of the couch, and reached into one of the pockets, pulling out his car keys. "I'll see you later, mom." He said before slipping out the apartment door. It was nice to have his mother around, but he always felt like he was using her. Though, she always did her best to make it clear to him that she didn't feel the same way. She loved being around him and Jayden, and who was he to deny his mother that happiness?

_By the rolling river is  
__Exactly where I was  
__There was no simple cure  
__For unlucky in love_

Brooke had caught sight of Owen coming into Tric as she talked to Lucas. She'd excused herself from her broody blonde haired friend before heading over to the bar and sitting down on one of the stools. "Hey bartender-boy." She smiled at the brunette.

"Brooke." Owen nodded. "What can I get you?"

"Nothing at the moment." Brooke shrugged. "Thought I'd come say hi."

Owen just nodded as he picked up a glass and started to make a drink. Brooke watched him and when he placed the glass in front of her, she raised an eyebrow. "I know you Brooke." Owen said with a shrug. "You would have asked for one sooner or later."

"Very true." Brooke mused, a small smile on her lips. She watched as Owen turned away from her to go help a customer. He was a good guy, but he was stubborn as hell. Maybe that was what had drawn Rachel to him in the first place. There were times that she wished she could rewind time for her friend- stop her from making such a big mistake. Ever since Rachel and Owen had split up, Rachel had been so unhappy and so closed off. Rachel was hardly the girl she use to be. And Brooke wasn't thinking about the high school Rachel. No, she was thinking about the women Rachel had become when she had met Owen and alter had Jayden. The two had changed her for the better.

As she sipped at the drink in her hand and watched Owen work, she felt her cell phone vibrating in her pocket. Brooke put her drink down and slid her hand into her pocket and pulled out her cell phone. She smiled as she read the call display. Flipping open her cell phone she pressed it against her ear, "Hey Milli."

"Hi Brooke...I know it's late, but I just caught wind of something that I think you should know." Millicent sounded worried which was making Brooke nervous.

"What is it Milli?"

Millicent was quite for a moment. "Well...um... I was out all day doing errands and stuff for Clothes over Bros. And when I got back tonight to lock up and make sure things were in order for tomorrow one of the girls came up to talk to me." Millicent paused. "Your mom...she...fired Rachel this afternoon."

"What?" Brooke's voice was louder than she intended it to be. She knew this by the way Owen turned to look at her as he helped a customer. "She...she can't do that!"

"I...I...I know. And I looked into it...she can Brooke...and she did..."

This wasn't good at all. "Well, where's Rachel? Have you talked to her? Is she okay?" If Brooke knew Rachel, and she was pretty sure she did, her friend wasn't taking being fired alright. The redhead- now brunette- was probably a mess. Brooke looked up to see Owen making his way towards her, and knew that he had heard her use Rachel's name.

"I haven't been able to get a hold of her exactly." Millicent sighed. "But I did talk to one of the models and they said, that they're pretty sure that she went out with Meredith."

Meredith. Brooke wasn't a fan of the blonde. She had been a great model, but the things she'd been into were less than great. For most of the time, Brooke put up with her for Rachel's sake. She didn't really trust the blonde at all. And right now, she was worried she'd be a horrible influence on Rachel. "Thanks Milli, I'll try to get a hold of her. You go home, get some rest, alright?"

"I'll talk to you later Brooke." Millicent said softly, and Brooke listened as her assistant hung up the phone. Brooke bit her lip and slid her cell phone back into her pocket. She was going to have to talk to her mother, but the conversation was not one she really wanted to have. How could her mother do this?

"Brooke..." Brooke looked up at Owen. "Is everything okay?"

Brooke shook her head slightly. "I don't know Owen." She said softly looking up at him. "Victoria fired Rachel today." She was so angry at Victoria right now; she couldn't even refer to her as her mother.

Owen was silent for a moment, just looking at Brooke. "Can she do that?"

"Apparently she can." Brooke said, pinching the bridge of her nose. Rachel was a great model; her mother had no right to fire her. She knew that her mother didn't like Rachel, but that didn't give her a reason to do this.

"Is Rachel alright?"

"I don't know. Probably not. This is Rachel we're talking about. She loved that job." Brooke sighed and stood up from the stool, picking up the drink as she did so. "Get back to work Owen, I'm going to try to get a hold of her. I'll let you know if I talk to her, if you do the same."

Owen nodded. "Don't worry, I will."

Brooke smiled slightly at Owen before she headed towards the table she saw Peyton sitting at. "Have a nice chat with Owen?" Peyton questioned, she didn't seem as tipsy as she had earlier.

"It would have been nice if I hadn't gotten a call from Milli telling me my mom fired Rachel." Brooke sighed, as she sipped at her drink and sat down.

"Can she do that?" Peyton questioned.

"Funny. That seems to be the first question everyone asks." Brooke replied. "And apparently she can. I don't know how. I didn't ask Milli that question, I was a little more focused on the fact that my mother went against what I wanted." She sighed. "What time is it?"

Peyton shrugged. "I don't have a watch on. Why don't you check your cell phone?"

"Because asking was easier." Brooke replied, reaching into her pocket and pulling out her cell phone. It was ten thirty. She flipped open her cell phone and dialled Rachel's cell phone. Brooke sighed when she got voice mail, and dialled the phone number for the apartment. She got the answering machine. Brooke slipped her phone back into her pocket. She'd try calling again later. "You wanna head home, Peyt?"

Peyton nodded slowly. "Yeah, home sounds good."

Brooke smiled slightly. It was nice to have a home in Tree Hill again. "Kay, I'm just going to finish my drink, and then we'll head out. We can watch a movie or something."

"As long as we don't let ourselves fall asleep on the couch again, I'm happy."

Brooke laughed. "I agree with you there P. Sawyer. Sleeping on a couch with the hangover you're bound to have in the morning, will not be pleasant." She mused, as she sipped at her drink. Not only was she worried about Rachel at the moment, but Peyton as well. There was something off with the blonde, but Brooke couldn't quite place it at the moment. Maybe she'd been too wrapped up in Rachel and all the problems she was having.

_To be lonely is a habit  
__Like smoking or taking drugs  
__And I've quit them both  
__But man, was it rough_

Rachel rested her head against Meredith's shoulder as they sat on the couch in the VIP section of one of the clubs Meredith frequented often. She was already drunk- had been since Bitchtoria fired her this morning. Meredith had showed up at the apartment and dragged her out to one of their favourite clubs. Her blonde friend had been fired a couple years ago, and all night she'd been telling Rachel it wouldn't be so bad. According to Meredith, getting fired was just opening the door wider for her.

Meredith ran a hand along Rachel's now dark brown hair, giggling slightly. "So glad you could join me and the girls tonight Gatina."

"I was drunk when you asked. I didn't know what I was agreeing to." Rachel replied, lifting her head from Meredith's shoulder, a smirk on her lips.

"And now, you're not only drunk, you're a little bit high too." Meredith giggled again.

Rachel knew the things she did tonight, she was going to regret in the morning. They were things she was less than proud of. Alcohol. Pot. A bit of coke. Tonight was less than her shining moment. She could barely figure out where her head was at, completely. She'd just gone with Meredith and did what her friend was doing. In the past, she'd been able to distance herself from it. She let Meredith do what she wanted to do, and just kept an eye on her. But tonight was different. Tonight, she'd let herself follow the blonde down the dangerous path. And really? At this moment in time she didn't care. She felt good.

"We'll have to do this again tomorrow night." Meredith mused, and two of the other girls that they were with both nodded in agreement.

Rachel shrugged, not thinking right. "Okay." She agreed, at the moment she saw nothing wrong with it. It'd probably be fun. She leaned her head back against the couch, closing her eyes. This really helped with forgetting.

She must have fallen asleep because the next thing she knew, she felt a gentle poke in her side and heard a familiar male voice in her ear. "Rachel."

Rachel opened her eyes and blinked a couple of times to clear her vision. A grin worked its way to her lips. "Julian?" She flung her arms around him, giggling slightly. "My love. How have you been?"

Julian Baker. Rachel had known him for years- longer than she'd known any of the Tree Hill gang. They'd met at the school Rachel had gone to prior to Tree Hill. Okay, that wasn't true. They met at a party. Rachel had been drunk and had barely made it to the bathroom when her body rebelled against her. Julian had been walking by at the time, and made himself of use, holding her hair back and rubbing circles along her back. And then he'd helped her get home, how he could understand her drunken mumblings was beyond her. But he'd helped her right up to her room and got her settled. Most guys would have tried to take advantage of her, but Julian had been different.

They'd become good friends. And for the longest time everyone thought they were a couple, but they weren't. With them it was more of a brother/sister bond. He put up with her bitchiness and kept an eye on her at parties, making sure she didn't get herself into trouble, and she did her best to be a good friend to him. After all he deserved it. In high school he had put up with so much crap from other people because he had been a slight geek. The only reason he had been at the party was that one of his other friends had wanted to go to see if he could pick up chicks.

She knew his secrets, and he knew hers. She knew that he had dated Peyton Sawyer for awhile. It had come out in a simple phone conversation. Just like the fact that she'd cheated on Owen with Cooper. Julian was the only one to know, and she didn't even know why she told him. She had told herself that no one could find out about it. And yet, in one simple phone conversation with Julian she let it out. She told him everything.

Rachel hadn't actually seen Julian in years. He hadn't met any of her friends. He didn't know Brooke. He didn't know Owen. He'd only seen pictures of Jayden. Peyton was the only one from Tree Hill that they both had met. And Peyton had no idea that Julian knew Rachel. Their conversations were usually over the phone and through e-mails. The last time they'd actually seen each other was shortly after Owen had left with Jayden. Julian had been in town, and Brooke had been busy with Clothes over Bros. Rachel had ended up staying at his hotel with him that night. They had drank a bit, and talked a lot. Rachel had ended up curling up against his chest crying herself to sleep. Brooke was her best friend, and Julian was like a brother to her. He was almost like a protector to her.

Julian hugged her tight for a moment, a hand rubbing gently against her back. "I should be asking you that Rae."

Rachel pulled back from the hug and looked around. "Where'd Meredith go?"

"The bleach blonde?" Julian questioned, as he moved to sit down on the couch beside her. "She went to go dance with the other girls." He paused and looked at her. "You dyed your hair."

"You cut yours." Rachel stated reaching up and running a hand over his short brown hair, avoiding his eye contact.

Julian sighed, and Rachel knew exactly what he was thinking. She knew what he wanted to say to her. It was always the same. He wanted to tell her to stop drinking, to stop going down the path she was headed, before it was too late. "How'd you find me?"

"Chance." Julian replied, his eyes on her, studying her almost. "I thought I saw you when I came in here tonight. But with the change of hair color I wasn't sure. I went to look for the bathroom, saw you again, and knew that it was in fact you."

"I didn't know you were in town." Rachel mused.

"I didn't know if you were in town this weekend, or if you'd be in Tree Hill." Julian replied with a shrug. "Otherwise I would have called to let you know." He waited a moment before standing up. Julian held his hand out to her. "What do you say we get you back to your apartment?"

Rachel looked up at him and nodded slowly. As she stood up, she swayed, and Julian's arm snaked around her waist to keep her steady. The two made their way through the club and out the doors. Julian hailed a taxi, and before Rachel knew it he was helping her lie down on her bed in the apartment she shared with Brooke.

A smirk came to her lips, "Julian, my knight in shining armour. Where would I be without you?"

"Passed out on a couch in a club." Julian replied, helping her get her coat off. As he tossed it onto a chair in the corner of the room, a joint fell out, and rolled towards him. Bending down, Julian picked it up and looked at Rachel. "I thought you said you quit this stuff Rae." He sighed, sitting down on the edge of the bed beside her.

"I just needed to forget." Rachel said quietly, her eyes started to water as she looked up at him. "Everything's bad Jules."

Julian looked at her, and pushed a strand of her dark brown hair behind her ear. "How?"

"Jay told me he hates me. And Bitchtoria fired me. And my parents are getting a divorce. And Owen still won't forgive me. I just wanted to forget for a bit. It's just all been too much."

"Drugs and alcohol aren't the answer, Rachel." He said softly.

"I know." Rachel sighed, looking up at him. "Lie down with me? I'm tired."

Julian tossed the joint onto the night stand and nodded slowly. He couldn't say no to her, she looked so broken. He kicked off his shoes, and stood up. He pulled off Rachel's shoes before climbing into the bed with her. Julian held out his arms, and Rachel moved into them, resting her head against his chest. "I'm glad you're here." Rachel said quietly.

"Sleep, Rachel. We'll talk in the morning, okay?"

Rachel nodded against his chest as she closed her eyes. She was glad Julian was here, but the person she wanted to be with at the moment was Owen. She wanted to be safe in _his_ arms.

_Now I am tired  
__It just made me tired  
__Let's build ourselves a fire  
__Let's build ourselves a fire_

_

* * *

_

AN: Hey all, thank you for the reviews! A_nd I will get to replying to them all, I'm slightly behind in everything right now. The joys of school and work, they take up so much time. Going to warn you now, the next chapter might take a little while longer to get up. I have a couple midterms and papers to write in the next week, so my time is going to be very little for writing. I would like to thank Ravenscircle, ravencheerleader, brucasever, TVCrazed, Long Live BRUCAS, tanya2byour21, cRaZyGuRl093, cRiMsOnGoDdEsS01, and bella for their reviews. Like I said, i will get to reply to them, because I love you guys for taking the time to review this fic, and the least I can do is take the time to reply to the reviews. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter. _


	13. Save My Life

"_**I'm not fragile because I'm a girl. I'm fragile because I'm human."  
**__**~ Brooke Davis**_

Brooke rolled over in her bed and picked up her cell phone. A sigh escaped her lips when she looked at the call display- still nothing. Okay, it had been less then twelve hours since she'd tried to get a hold of Rachel, she shouldn't worry, right? There was nothing to worry about, Rachel would be just fine with all of this. Who was she kidding? Rachel was going to be a mess. The redhead- ex-redhead- loved her job, loved her life, and with everything that had been going on in her life, she was going to be a mess. Biting her lip, Brooke sat up in bed and tried Rachel's cell phone once again only to get voicemail. Sighing, she ended the call and dialled another number.

"Hello?"

"Hey... I didn't wake you did I? I know the time zones are far apart I just don't know how far exactly, so if I woke you up I'm really sorry." She knew she was rambling at the moment, but she didn't care.

"Brooke?" It was nice to hear Karen's voice really. The woman had been more of a mother to her than her own mother.

"Yeah, it's me."

"Everything okay?"

Brooke sighed, and picked at the comforter she still had pulled up over her lap. "Life's just been a little crazy right now. Growing up sucks." She laughed nervously. The words were true enough. As nice as it was to be an 'adult', the whole growing up thing wasn't so great. She felt like there was just as much, if not more, drama now as there was in high school. "But, that's not why I'm calling. I've got a question for you."

"Well, I hope I've got an answer for you."

Brooke smiled to herself. "I was out last night, and I got to talking to Lucas. I want to open a Clothes over Bros location here in Tree Hill. And Lucas said that the Cafe might be available. I just wanted to hear from you that it would be okay if I gave the place a makeover."

There was a small silence and Brooke wondered if Lucas had been wrong about it. Maybe Karen wanted to keep it closed until she got back to Tree Hill. Maybe Karen had big plans for the cafe when she returned. "Of course you can Brooke. I'd love if the place was used again. And I'm glad it's you who wants to use it."

"Really? So you're telling me I can use it?"

Karen laughed. "Yes, Brooke. I'm telling you that you can use it."

"Thank you so much Karen. It means a lot to me." And Brooke meant what she was saying. She was glad to have Karen's blessing. It really did mean a lot to her. "This Clothes over Bros location is going to be great." She paused for a moment. "You do realize that I've got to tear the place apart and do some reconstruction to make it work as a boutique."

"I know, don't worry Brooke." Brooke could almost see the smile on Karen's face. "I have good faith in you. That place is going to be great. Just like you said. And, I hate to do this right now, but I've got to go. I'll call you later Brooke and we can talk, alright?"

"Sounds good to me Karen."

"Good, you can get the key and paperwork for the cafe from Lucas. Talk to you later, Brooke."

"Bye Karen."

Brooke smiled to herself as she closed her cell phone, and put it back onto the nightstand beside her bed. That conversation had gone as well as she hoped it would. It wasn't that she had thought that Karen would say no or anything. The big thing was that, in her head she saw multiple outcomes in the whole conversation, some good and some bad. She lied back down in the bed and rolled onto her side. Part of her wanted to try calling Rachel again. But what was the point? Her friend obviously wasn't going to pick up, and she'd already left multiple voice mail messages. Okay, maybe she'd try later. Brooke just needed to make sure Rachel was okay. They may have not been the greatest of friends in the past, but they were pretty good friends now. Brooke was always worried about Rachel, and she couldn't help it. When Rachel was with Owen, Brooke had found she didn't have to worry so much. Rachel was happy and made smart decisions. But, without him Rachel wasn't always in the right of mind. Sometimes it seemed she'd reverted back to the high school Rachel that everyone knew, unless her son was around.

_She's back on drugs again  
__Even though she knows it ain't right  
__She can't even call up her friends  
__And say, "Help me save my life"_

"Mmm, is that bacon I smell?"

Lucas looked up from where he stood at the stove, a smile coming to his lips. Though, guilt was eating him up inside. He wanted to tell Lindsey about the kiss with Peyton, but he didn't know how. Why did Peyton have to do this to him? "It is. I figured I owed you breakfast. How are you feeling this morning? When I got home last night you were already asleep."

Lindsey smiled as she made her way towards him. "I'm feeling much better, especially considering you're making little ol' me breakfast."

"Like I said, I figured I owed you breakfast." He told her with a shrug. "After all you've made me breakfast a couple days in a row now. It's only fair."

"You're so good to me." Lindsey laughed, before kissing his cheek. "So how was last night anyway? Did I miss anything exciting?"

Lucas paused for a moment as he tried to think of the best plan of action. Should he tell her about Peyton? Or should he not? In a last minute decision Lucas decided not to tell Lindsey about Peyton kissing him. Why bother her with that? He didn't want to worry her. Things between Peyton and himself were over. The kiss wasn't about to change that. So, logically, Lucas didn't think Lindsey needed to know about it. "No, you're lucky this time around. It was just a lot of catching up. Next time though, you better be there, because who knows what you'll miss." And hopefully it would keep Peyton from trying anything again.

Lindsey nodded. "I'll make sure that I don't miss the next group get together." She headed towards the fridge and opened it up, pulling out the milk. "So, what are the plans for today?"

"I was thinking after breakfast you and I could spend some good quality time together."

"I like the sounds of that."

Lucas turned and smiled at Lindsey. He was going to move on from last night, there was no point in thinking about it. At least he didn't see a point. There was nothing to worry about. He just hoped that Peyton would realize that and leave him alone.

_She's so ashamed of herself  
__That she's come full circle  
__Oh, nobody understands  
__What it's like to be this girl_

Peyton lay on her back in her room, staring at the ceiling. Her mind was reeling as she tried to figure out fully what she'd done last night. Kissing Lucas had been a mistake. At least part of her believed that. Another part of her was glad she'd done it- glad that she let Lucas know she still had strong feelings for him. And maybe, just maybe, Lucas would realize he felt the same way. He had to still feel the same way. It hadn't been that long ago that she'd said someday.

There was a knock on the door followed by Brooke's voice. "P. Sawyer, I just made some breakfast. You want any?"

Peyton rolled off her bed and headed towards the door, her head wasn't hurting too badly. She'd expected a lot more pain after how much she'd drank the night before. Her hand wrapped around the door knob and with a small sigh she pulled the door open and smiled slightly at her lifelong friend. There was no way she could tell Brooke about what she'd done. Brooke wouldn't be too happy with her. "You made breakfast? I don't know if I trust your cooking."

Brooke looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "P. Sawyer you've eaten plenty of my cooking in the past couple of years. You know full well I know how to cook a decent tasting meal. After all I know how much a dab of salt is."

"Low blow, B. Davis."

Brooke just smiled and shrugged. "You love me anyway. So, you gonna eat some of the food I made, or are you going to let it go to waste?"  
"I'm sure wasting it wouldn't be a big deal." Peyton mused, obviously joking with Brooke. "I'm sure you've got plenty of money to replace it all."

"Ha ha. Very funny Peyton." Brooke rolled her eyes. "Now, get your skinny ass into the kitchen, we need to get some meat on those bones of yours."

Peyton just smiled and followed Brooke out of the room and towards the kitchen. It was nice to have Brooke as a friend. Sometimes it surprised her how forgiving Brooke could truly be. Peyton looked back at their life so far, and couldn't help but question the choices she'd made. She'd done wrong by Brooke not once, but twice, and the brunette was still willing to be her friends. Brooke was still willing to share a house with her. If that wasn't a best friend, Peyton didn't know what was.

_So she, she disappeared, and she  
__She wasn't clear, and she  
__She didn't say where she was goin'  
__Yeah, yeah_

"Thank you, once again." Brooke grinned at Lucas as she sat at the counter of what once was Karen's Cafe.

Lucas shrugged. "No problem Brooke. It wasn't like you could have gotten into this place without me."

Brooke laughed softly and shook her head. "I'm sure I could have found a way in." She paused to think about it. "Like breaking a window. I'm sure I wouldn't have had a problem doing that."

"Well, I'm glad you decided to wait until I got here then."

A silence fell over the two of them for a moment, and Brooke's gaze moved around the cafe. There were so many memories of this place tucked away in her head. Of course, it was nothing compared to the memories Lucas, Haley, and Karen had to have. Lucas grew up in this place, and part of her felt weird about taking over, and remodelling. "Luke..." Brooke trailed off, biting the corner of her lip as she tried to think about how she wanted to ask this question.

"Yeah Brooke?" Lucas turned to face her, his head tilting slightly as he looked at her.

"I want you to be honest with me, what do you think about me turning this place into a Clothes over Bros boutique?"

Lucas looked at her, and for a moment Brooke was actually afraid that he was going to tell her that he didn't like the idea. She couldn't help that thought though. She was paranoid that people weren't going to like her changing Karen's Cafe into a clothing store. It was an understandable paranoia, at least she felt like it was. Karen's Cafe had a long run in Tree Hill, and a lot of people probably missed it now that it was closed.

"I think it's a great idea, Brooke." Lucas said with a smile. To Brooke it felt like it had taken him forever to give her an answer.

"Really?" She questioned. "You're not just saying that because you feel like if you don't you're going to hurt my feelings? This is your mom's cafe, you grew up with it, I'd understand if you didn't like the idea."

"Brooke, this place has been closed for two years now. It'll be nice to see the place up and running again. And out of all the people that could have bought it from my mom, I'm glad it was you." Lucas was being honest with her, and Brooke knew that, but she was still a little worried about it.

"Okay," Brooke nodded. "But, if I do anything to this place that you don't like, just let me know. I want to make sure you and your mom are happy with what I do here."

Lucas laughed. "As long as you don't burn the place down Brooke, I'm sure we'll both be happy."

Another silence fell between the two, but it wasn't long before Brooke's cell phone started ringing. She jumped slightly before reaching over to her purse and pulling it out. With one glance at the call display she pushed a button and tossed it back into her purse. "Screening your calls?" Lucas questioned with a slightly raised eyebrow.

"Just when it's my mother." Brooke replied shaking her head. "I called her this morning to ask what right she had to fire Rachel, and she avoided the whole thing. Actually, no, that's a lie. She pretty much equated Rachel to the black plague, so I hung up on her. Haven't been answering her calls since." It was a slightly childish move and Brooke wasn't going to deny that. She just didn't want to deal with her mother right now. Maybe in the afternoon when she wasn't still worried about her friend, she'd have some energy to go head to head with her mother.

Nodding, Lucas mused, "I'm guessing you're waiting on Rachel to call, then. I mean, otherwise you'd probably have your phone off or on silent."

Brooke could have told Lucas that she was waiting for other calls, but what was the point? Everyone that knew her, knew that she was waiting for the former redhead to call her. "I'm trying not to get too worried, you know? I'm trying to give her a bit more time, but it's hard. When Rachel falls, she falls hard. She was a mess when things with her and Owen ended, and I have no doubt it my mind she's just as bad right now."

"Rachel's going to be fine Brooke."

Brooke shook her head. "You don't know her like I do." She said softly. "She's not going to be okay. Not when she's in New York alone." The brunette knew her friend wasn't completely alone. But, the company she probably had right now, wasn't of the best kind. Meredith was no doubt hanging around and dragging Rachel out, Brooke just wished that past week could have gone differently.

_Save my life, won't you help me  
__Save my life, won't you help me  
__Save my life, won't you hear me  
__Save my life, won't you help me_

A continuous knock on the front door, forced Peyton to get up from where she was sitting on the couch, with a sketch book on her lap. She made her way towards the door, and pulled it open, only to see Haley standing there. After their last conversation she knew that this wasn't good. "Haley, hi."

"Brooke around?" Haley questioned, and it was clear to Peyton that she wanted nothing to do with her. Actually, that was clear last night even if Peyton had been slightly drunk.

"No. She went to meet Lucas at the cafe. Why?"

"Last night, she said something about coming over this morning, I haven't heard from her." Haley replied. "No, big deal, I'll call her or head to the cafe and see what the two of them are up to."

Peyton shifted uncomfortably as Haley looked at her, expecting an ear full. She deserved it. Though, she still refused to look at kissing Lucas as a mistake. Because, for her it wasn't- it was her way of showing him how she felt. "Look, about last night I-"

"Don't." Haley cut her off shaking her head. "Don't start trying to justify what you did. Not to me, because I don't want to hear it. You're my friend Peyton, so is Lindsey. And Lucas, he's my _best_ friend. He's the one I'm concerned about. It's his happiness that I want. What you did..." She trailed off for a moment. "What you did last night was wrong Peyton. You and I both know it."

"But what if he'd be happier with me?"

"Just leave it alone Peyton. You ruined him. He was a mess until Lindsey came along, so as far as I'm concerned, he's a whole lot happier without you."

"Haley-"

"No." Haley cut Peyton off again. "If you see Brooke before I do, let her know I stopped by."

Peyton watched as Haley turned and walked away from the door, heading the small distance to her car. With a sigh, Peyton closed the front door and moved back into the house, towards the living room. As she sat down on the couch again she picked up her sketch pad and started drawing again. It was a picture of her, and Lucas last night. Only, in the picture Lucas was kissing her back.

_She had the man of her dreams  
__And some success  
__And she was so happy and lookin' well  
__It was this one dark night, that she slipped  
__And then the next mornin' that she  
__Felt like a piece of shit_

Julian quietly walked into the dark bedroom, placing a glass of water down on the nightstand. He couldn't help but shake his head at Rachel. They'd been friends for a long time now, and he couldn't help but feel a little guilty about not being around more for her. She was a mess right now, and he should have seen this coming. He should have seen it coming the moment Rachel had called him and told him that she'd cheated on Owen a year and a half ago. He'd never met the guy, but from how Rachel had talked about him, Julian knew the guy was a good one.

With Rachel things weren't always out in the open, she had a habit of letting things build up until they got to be too much. That was one thing Julian had learnt over the years, which was why he should have seen it coming a mile away. Yes, Rachel had broken down when Owen had left, taking Jayden with him, but that had only been a small bump in the road. Now, with Jayden having told her he hated her, and her parents getting a divorce, and her losing her job, Rachel's downfall was something he should have been ready for.

"Jules?"

Julian smiled slightly when he saw Rachel looking up at him. "It's about time you woke up, it's almost one in the afternoon. I had to check a couple times to make sure you were still breathing."

"What are you doing here?" He'd been expecting Rachel's confusion.

"Last night I ran into you at a club, and brought your drunk and high ass back here." Julian said as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

He watched Rachel as she sighed and closed her eyes for a moment. "Right." She said softly, rubbing her forehead.

"Here." He handed her the asprin he'd had in his hand and reached for the water he'd set on her nightstand. "So, you in the mood to talk?"

Rachel popped the asprin into her mouth and downed a bit of the water. "Julian, I just woke up."

"We need to talk, Rae."

"Can't it wait?"

Julian shook his head at her. "If I hadn't found you in a club, and a joint in your coat pocket, then I'd say sure. But right now I think we need to talk. I don't have much sympathy for you." It was the truth. She was tired and hung over, but that was something she'd brought upon herself. It was her choice to go out the night before and get drunk, she had to deal with the consequences herself.

Rachel glared at him, but it didn't faze him at all. After a moment Rachel sighed and shifted on the bed, making a little more room for him beside her. Julian moved from where he was sitting on the edge and got comfortable beside Rachel. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and in return Rachel rested her head on his shoulder. "They all hate me." She said softly.

"That's not true Rae."

"Yes it is." Rachel sighed. "Jayden told me so himself."

"He's three, he didn't mean it."

Rachel was silent for a moment and when she spoke again her voice was really quiet. "He may have not meant it then, but I'm sure he means it now. They're all better off without me anyway."

Julian closed his eyes for a moment and took a small breath. "Don't talk like that Rachel." He said as he opened his eyes.

"And why not?" Rachel suddenly pulled away from him, and turned on the bed so that she could look at him, even though the room was still kind of dark. "It's true."

"It's not, and we both know it." Julian replied. "You might feel like your life is crap, but we both know it's not the truth. You've just hit a rough patch. What you need to do, is keep barrelling through, because if you continue doing what you are right now you're going to go nowhere Rachel. You need to go back to Tree Hill."

"No." Rachel said, suddenly getting up off of the bed and leaving the room, slamming the door as she left. Julian shook his head, knowing that Rachel knew he was right about this. She was just being her stubborn old self. He knew he was going to have to find some way to get her to back to Tree Hill, because he had a feeling it would be the only way he could get her to get her act together. Her friends and Jayden were what she needed right now, not this little party world she had going on here. One thing Julian knew right now was that he wouldn't be leaving her side until he could convince her to go back to Tree Hill.

_So she's, she's hangin' out, and she's  
__She's with the crowd, and she's  
__Travellin' where the wind is blowin'  
__Yeah, yeah_

Brooke hung up the phone as she curled up on the couch, a blanket wrapped around her, and a bowl of popcorn sitting beside her. She'd just gotten off the phone with Haley, having apologized a great deal for forgetting to pay her a visit this morning. She'd also made plans to go over there tomorrow morning, in which Haley said she'd be calling bright and early just to make sure. In Brooke's defence though, things had just been a little crazy, from Rachel not calling her back, to signing the papers for the cafe. When she'd first decided to come back to Tree Hill, this hadn't been in the plan. Really, she'd just wanted to come for a visit. She just wanted to see everyone again. But being here made her miss it more. It made her miss her friends, and the life she use to have.

Buying the house she was currently sitting in, and signing the papers for the cafe had all been impulsive. But it all felt so good, so she knew it had to be right. Her mother may not agree with her, but she was happy with her decisions. Now she just had to get Rachel her job back. Considering the company was hers, Brooke hadn't expected it to be so hard, but her mother was somehow overriding her decisions and it was beginning to be a pain in her ass. Part of her wished that she'd listened to Rachel years ago when she'd told her to tell her mother to screw off. But at the same time, she was happy she'd let her mother in- at least a small part of her was happy. Then again that happiness only came from her mother's attention.

Brooke sighed and shifted on the couch slightly, reaching behind the pillow to get the remote. Peyton was hiding out in her room, doing what, Brooke wasn't really sure. So, Brooke was left to entertain herself, which pretty much meant mindless television while she tried to sort through her thoughts. Not always a good thing, but it was the only choice she had at the moment. Brooke surfed through the channels, eventually landing on some sappy made for tv movie. She rested her elbow against the arm of the couch, and rested her head against her hand. Tomorrow after her breakfast with Naley and Jamie she was going to go pay Owen and Jayden a visit, see how they were. And after that she'd get to work on changing the cafe around. She was determined to make this Clothes over Bros location a big success, mostly because she knew that her mother wasn't going to be too happy about it once she found out.

_Save my life, won't you help me  
__Save my life, won't you help me  
__Save my life, won't you hear me  
__Save my life, won't you help me_

Nathan smiled as he leaned against the doorway to the living room, watching Haley and Jamie. He watched as his wife's fingers pretty much flew over the keys of the piano, Jamie's focus on what she was doing. "You gotta slow down momma." Jamie sighed.

Haley laughed, "Sorry Jamie." She slowed her pace and glanced over at him. "How's that?"

"Better." Jamie grinned, as he moved to mimic her movements.

It was clear to Nathan that Jamie got musical talents from his mother. Just like how Jamie got his basketball skills from him. Of course, practice did help a great deal. It didn't take long for Haley and Jamie to realize that he was standing there. "Hi daddy." Jamie grinned at him.

"Hey Jim Jam." Nathan replied as he moved further into the living room. "What are my two favourite people doing?"

"Momma's teaching me how to play a new song."

"And Jamie's doing a great job." Haley said, her voice beaming with how proud she was. "How about you go wash up Jamie, we're going to be eating in a bit."

"Okay momma." Jamie replied before hopping off of the bench and leaving the living room.

Nathan smiled and sat down in Jamie's vacated spot on the bench. He leaned forward and captured his wife's lips in his. He felt Haley smile against his lips as her arms wrapped around his neck. After a moment Haley pulled back slightly and smiled. "So where have you been?"

"Just doing some Christmas shopping."

"Nathan Scott, going Christmas shopping without me having to ask him? I'm shocked." Haley laughed, teasing him.

Nathan rolled his eyes, a playful smirk on his lips. "I've done it before Hales."

"Doesn't matter, still surprises me." Haley said, before leaning forward and kissing him again. "I love you Nathan Scott."

"I love you too, Haley James-Scott." Nathan smiled against her lips.

_And he's a real good guy and he  
__He wants to save her 'cause he's  
__He's more than been there all before, oh  
__And she's, she's so confused  
__And his, his heart is breakin' and he  
__Dreams she's knockin' on his door, oh, yeah_

Owen sat on the couch, his feet up on the coffee table as he watched tv. He didn't have work tonight, and Jayden was off playing in his room for now. Tilting his head back against the couch, Owen closed his eyes for a moment, just listening to the tv and the sound of his son playing. He needed a vacation, maybe after Christmas and New Years, he'd take a week off. Pack up a couple of bags and take Jayden somewhere. Maybe they could go to New York. He hadn't been there in awhile. And, if he hadn't talked to Rachel yet, it would help him track her down and make sure she was alright.

A faint knock on the apartment door had Owen opening his eyes and sitting up a little straighter. He wasn't expecting anyone though he wouldn't be surprised if Brooke decided to spring a surprise visit on him. She'd been doing that a lot lately. Owen sighed and got up from the couch, he could still hear Jayden playing in his room. He unlocked the door and pulled it open. His heart nearly stopped at the figure that stood before him.

Before him stood Rachel, her now brown locks down and covering her face slightly, her arms wrapped around herself. She was dressed in a pair of jeans and a hoodie, one that Owen recognized as one of his, making Rachel looked even smaller as she pretty much drowned in the fabric. "Rach?" His voice was quiet and unbelieving.

Her eyes slowly met his and Owen felt a small shiver run down his spine. "Owen, I'm sorry." She whispered, and Owen could see her eyes glaze over with tears. "I need help." Rachel said and tears started to escape her eyes. "I need you."

Before Owen could really process what was going on, his arms were wrapping around Rachel, pulling her close to him. He could feel her hands gripping onto his shirt as her shoulders started to shake and she started to cry harder. "Where have you been Rach?" He asked, not moving as he continued to hold her. One of his hands moved up and down her back in an attempt to soothe her.

"M...Meredith." Rachel replied, her voice almost inaudible as she kept her head buried against his chest. It wasn't like she had to say anything else. Meredith was someone he knew all too well. The blonde had frequented the club he worked at in New York a lot before Rachel had befriended her. Meredith was a good person, though she dabbled in a lot of things that weren't so good. And Owen knew that Rachel had joined Meredith a few times. The now brunette had told him that herself, and he'd told her of his own problems with that stuff. He'd told her about how he'd given it all up with the help of a friend. "I screwed up." He heard Rachel say. "So bad."

Owen pulled away slightly and looked down at her. "It's going to be okay Rachel." All the anger he'd had built up inside of him since Rachel had cheated on him seemed to wash away, at seeing her so distressed. It made his heart ache.

She shook her head. "Not it's not." Rachel said, her eyes locking with his. "You all hate me, there's no coming back from where I've gone, Owen. And I'm sorry; I've let you all down."

He looked at her silently for a moment, searching her eyes. "Everything is going to be okay Rachel," Owen said as he lifted a hand to push some of her now dark locks behind her ear. "We've all been worried about you, we're here for you."

"Daddy?" Owen turned having heard his son's voice. He scanned the area behind him but didn't see Jayden anywhere. Confused he turned back to Rachel, but found the space before him empty. His eyebrows knitted together and he stepped out of the apartment door, scanning the hallway for her.

"Daddy, get up."

Owen jerked forward and blinked a couple of times. He was suddenly back on the couch, the apartment door was closed and Jayden was standing by his knee. "You fell asleep." Jayden stated, laughing.

Owen smiled, trying to push past what he'd seen in his dream. If he could call it that. "Yes, I did." He replied as he pulled Jayden up onto his lap.

"What we eating?"

"I don't know, Jay. What do you feel like eating?"

"Pizza!"

Owen couldn't help but laugh. "Pizza it is." He'd order some pizza and then try to get a hold of Rachel again. And, if she didn't answer he'd call Brooke and see if she had heard anything yet. All he wanted to do was make sure Rachel was alright. Especially because Jayden kept asking about her.

_Save my life  
__Save my life, won't you help me  
__Save my life, won't you help me  
__Save my life, won't you hear me  
__Save my life won't you help me  
_

* * *

AN: Not my best work, but it's an update, finally. I just want to say sorry for the long wait, but summer's here now, updates should be more frequent. I want to thank everyone for their patience and their reviews. It shouldn't take as long to update. And, before I forget, I'm working on an oth rp board, because I've got all these ideas rolling around in my head, and instead of writing a whole new story, I figured I'd get them out through an rp board, because it could be a bit more fun. That and I don't want to take too much time away from updating this story. So, if you're interested in that sort of thing send me a personal message and I'll let you know what I'm thinking for it, and how long it'll be before I get it up and running. Anyway, hope you enjoyed the update.


	14. Brooke

"_**Sometimes you have to step outside the person you've been and remember the person you were meant to be. The person you wanted to be. The person you are."  
**__**~ Marvin McFadden**_

It amazed Brooke how fast things could change. Five months after graduation and Brooke now found herself in New York, once again living with Rachel Gatina. She was working on her clothing line while Rachel was making small attempts at getting a modelling job. The red head had changed in the short time they'd been out of school. It surprised Brooke, really. Rachel had clearly grown up, though it was clear that she could still be the same party girl. Halloween was proof of that. Rachel had had plenty to drink, and was throwing herself at the guys. If it wasn't for Owen that night, Brooke was pretty sure she would have lost track of Rachel. And the redhead probably would have gone home with some random guy.

That night had been entertaining though. Watching Rachel trying to get Owen to have sex with her, while highly intoxicated was priceless. She, herself had been drunk, but sober enough to have a decent conversation with Owen, and remember it. He was a good guy, and he let her know that he'd known the whole time that they were underage. He had also told her that if either of them ever needed a ride home after a night out to just give him a call. Sure, it was kind of weird considering they'd only met him that night. Well, Brooke had only met him that night. Rachel had apparently met him before. But, Owen seemed like a nice, sincere guy. One they could trust. And, having someone they could trust in a city like New York was a good thing.

But now, they were almost done November, and Brooke was currently helping her red headed friend get ready for another date with the kind hearted bartender. "Don't wear that dress." Brooke shook her head, looking at Rachel from where she sat on her bed.

"Why? What's wrong with it?" Rachel questioned glancing from the dress she had in her hand to Brooke.

"It screams 'do me'." Brooke replied.

"So? How do you know that's not the look I'm going for tonight?"

Brooke raised her eyebrow and looked at her friend. "I thought you liked Owen and wanted to try going about the whole relationship thing differently."

"I do." Rachel sighed. "But, I'm so freaking horny, Brooke. Do you know how long it's been since I've had sex? There is only so much I can do to please myself."

Brooke laughed. Leave it to Rachel to be so blunt about things. "Then go with whatever you want Rach."

Rachel looked down at the dress in her hand and sighed, before putting it back into the closet. "How about this one?"

Brooke looked at the dark blue dress in Rachel's hand and smiled. "I think it'll be great." She paused. "So, where are you going tonight anyway?"

"I don't know really." Rachel shrugged. "He said something about dinner. He's really into the whole surprise thing, not that I mind it at all." She paused. "Can I borrow the black heels you got when we were out shopping last week?"

"Yeah, sure." Brooke nodded as she watched Rachel start to strip down to her underwear. She shook her head. Rachel never really seemed to care who was around before she started stripping. "So what date is this for you guys? Third?"

Rachel shook her head. "Fourth." She replied as she slipped the dress on. She ran her hands along it, smoothing it out as she looked at her appearance in the full length mirror that sat next to the closet.

"That's gotta be some kind of a record for you." Brooke mused.

Rachel turned to look at her. "I've made it to a fourth date before."

Brooke didn't say anything; instead she just looked at Rachel with a raised eyebrow.

The redhead looked at Brooke silently for a moment. "Okay, so I haven't exactly made it to a 'fourth date' before. But, with Cooper I kind of did. I mean we got together plenty of times."

"Yeah, but when you guys got together it was all about sex."

Rachel didn't say anything, she just turned around and looked back at the mirror. It made it clear to Brooke, that she shouldn't have said anything. Apparently it was still a sore spot for Rachel. "Sorry, Rach."

"About what? You didn't do anything." Rachel shrugged, her attention focused on the mirror in front of her. "Could you go get me those shoes? Owen's going to be here soon."

"Yeah." Brooke sighed as she got up from where she sat on the bed. She glanced at Rachel briefly, before leaving the room. Sometimes she just couldn't figure out her redheaded friend. It was almost like once Rachel let someone see a different side of her, she'd close off. Sighing, Brooke continued to her room, where she dug around her closet until she found the shoes Rachel had requested. She waited a couple of minutes before returning to Rachel's room. "Here you go."

"Thanks." Rachel smiled slightly, taking the shoes, and slipping them onto her feet. "What are your plans for tonight, since you won't have me to keep you entertained?"

"I'm going to be working on my sketches tonight. I've gotta get the summer line done, before the new year starts."

"And who says that?" Rachel questioned, looking at her with a raised eyebrow. "Your mother?"

"Don't start with that again Rachel." Brooke shook her head, knowing exactly where Rachel was going with this, and she really didn't want to hear it right now.

"Start what?"

"Rachel..."

"Brooke, you have to stop letting your mom rule your life." Rachel stated. "I mean, she hasn't cared at all about you for the past, how many years? All she wants is money." She paused. "_Your_ money."

"Rachel. Don't. I know where you're going with this. And you know what I've got to say. Just, leave it alone."

Rachel shook her head. "Fine, Brooke. But your mother is going to be the end of you. Just be careful with her alright?" She left the room, and Brooke heard the bathroom door close.

Brooke sighed and sat down on Rachel's bed. Her mother was helping with the company. She knew it might not be a good idea, but this was the most attention her mother had ever paid her. Part of her felt like, there was hope in her and her mother fixing their strained relationship. But, at the same time, part of her knew that would probably never be possible. This was Victoria Davis after all. The woman had a heart of stone. Brooke was pretty sure the only thing that woman could love was money. Yet, she still felt the need to keep her mother around.

* * * * * * * * * *

Brooke could hear quiet footsteps outside her bedroom door. The footsteps were soon followed by giggling and a familiar voice. _"Shh, Owen, stop it."_ Brooke groaned and pulled her blanket over her head. It was too early to be awake, or at least it felt that way. The sound of her bedroom door opening, had her groaning again. Before she knew it something heavy was on top of her.

"Happy Birthday, Slut!" Rachel's voice said from above her with a laugh.

"Whore, it's too early for this." Brooke mumbled underneath the blanket. Even though she was tired, she couldn't help but be touched that Rachel had remembered her birthday.

"Hardly, Brooke. It's nine." Rachel laughed, poking her in the side. "Come on, get up, Owen and I are taking you out for breakfast." She tugged at the blanket that Brooke was trying to keep covering her head.

Brooke groaned again, and tightened her grip on the blanket. "Owen! Get your girlfriend off of me before I kill her!"

"Right away, birthday girl." She heard him laugh, before the weight was lifted off of her. Brooke peaked over the edge of the blanket to see Owen, with his arms around Rachel's waist, holding her in the air.

"Now, could you guys leave so that I can get ready?" Brooke questioned.

Rachel looked at her with narrowed eyes from where she was still being held in Owen's arms. "You have a half hour Brooke. And then I'm coming back in here and dragging your old fat ass out of the apartment."

Brooke snorted. "What if I'm naked?"

"Well, looks like everyone will be getting a show then." Rachel smirked.

Brooke rolled her eyes, and threw her pillow at Rachel. Only, Rachel ducked her head, and the pillow ended up hitting Owen instead. "Sorry, Owen." She lifted her head to look at them. "Now, get out of here."

Rachel stuck her tongue out at Brooke for Owen and herself left the room, closing the door behind them. Brooke sighed and slowly sat up. Rachel seemed happy, and that made Brooke happy. Owen had been good for Rachel, and Brooke appreciated having the guy around so much. He was good at changing light bulbs, and fixing things. Very good at fixing the things they broke- well, the things Rachel broke.

Running a hand through her hair, Brooke pulled herself out of bed, and headed over to her closet. Another birthday was here, she wondered who else would remember, and who would probably forget. She knew her parents wouldn't call her. Peyton might. Haley probably would. She'd really just have to wait and see who ended up calling her and who didn't. Considering Rachel had woken her up and was planning on taking her to a birthday breakfast, Brooke was in a good mood. It was nice to have someone remember, even if it was early in the morning.

It didn't take long for Brooke to get changed and ready to head out. As she stepped out of her bedroom door she glanced around an empty apartment. Rachel's bedroom door was wide open, so the brunette knew her friend wasn't in there with Owen. "Rach?" She called out, but got no response. Shaking her head she headed out into the small living room. The red head, forces her to get out of bed, and doesn't even stick around. And Brooke was looking forward to the late birthday breakfast. Rachel was playing games with her. That much was clear at the moment.

Brooke propped her feet up on the coffee table as she picked up the remote and started to flick through the channels. She figured she might as well kill some time until Rachel and Owen got back from wherever they decided to go. And what better way to do it, then with mindless tv? As she watched some random talk show, Brooke could hear the sound of keys jingling outside the apartment door. She was really curious about where Rachel and Owen had disappeared to.

The apartment door opened, and Rachel's voice floated through the apartment. "Whore, you ready to go yet?"

"Yes, I am." Brooke replied, her gaze remaining on the television screen. "Where'd you disappear to?"

Rachel sat down beside her on the couch. "We went to Owen's car."

Brooke's nose wrinkled up slightly. "Were you guys having kinky sex in it, even though the sun is shining bright, and everyone could see you?"

"Of course we were."

Brooke turned to look at her. "Seriously?"

Rachel laughed. "No. We went down to get your presents. Owen'll be up with them in a minute."

"Presents? For me?" Brooke grinned and clapped her hands like an excited five-year-old. She paused and looked at her friend. "What were they doing in your boyfriend's car though?"  
"We were hiding them at his place." Rachel shrugged. "I didn't want you to accidently stumble upon them while you were going through my closet to 'borrow' clothes."

"Do I get lots of presents?" Brooke questioned, her grin still in place.

Rachel shrugged. "I don't know. Depends on what you consider lots."

"More than ten."

Rachel snorted, shaking her head. "Then you're hardly getting lots of presents. Not that you deserve lots anyway."

"You're so mean to me, whore." Brooke said as she picked up one of the small pillows that sat on the couch, and hit Rachel in the head with it.

"If it wasn't your birthday slut, I'd totally get you back for that."

* * * * * * * * * *

Her birthday had come and gone, and Brooke had to admit it was one of the best she'd had in awhile. Rachel had gotten her a vibrator, claiming that it was the perfect gift since she hadn't been bringing home any random guys. After Brooke hit Rachel a couple of times, Owen passed her a small box that held her 'real' present- a silver charm bracelet, with a charm that said 'slut'. There had also been a present from Peyton, which was a rather expensive sketch book and sketching pencils for her designs. Naley and Jamie got her a giftcard and a photo album full of pictures from high school, and Jamie. Lucas had gotten her a couple of books, and Karen had gotten her some things for the kitchen along with a cookbook.

She had gotten calls from most of her friends during the day. And breakfast with Owen and Rachel had been great. Her parents didn't bother to acknowledge her. No, that was a slight lie. Her mother had called her, but it wasn't to wish her a happy birthday. Instead it had been to ask about her latest designs, which had sucked. But she had pushed that out of her mind. As March turned into April much more important things seemed to arise. It seemed stupid to be angry at her mother and father for forgetting her birthday, when one of her best friends needed her.

Though, Rachel was shutting her out, and she figured this dinner with Lucas tonight would help her in some way. Lucas had called not long after Rachel had said she was pregnant, and Brooke had agreed to a dinner out. Sure, she felt bad leaving Rachel at the apartment alone, but she had tried to talk to Rachel multiple times before Lucas showed up. But, the red head just didn't respond and her bedroom door remained closed.

"Hey, Pretty Girl, you still with me?"

Brooke blinked and looked towards Lucas. A smile came to her lips as she nodded. "Yeah, sorry. I was thinking about something. But don't worry; you've got my full attention now. So, you proposed to Peyton, and she said no?" After he'd told her the good news about his book in the works to getting published, Lucas had told her the bad news. He'd proposed to Peyton and the curly haired blonde said no. Which didn't make much sense to Brooke; she thought it was something that Peyton would want.

"Well..." Lucas sighed and shook his head. "She said 'someday', but in my books that's pretty much a no."

Brooke reached out and placed a hand on his, and squeezed lightly. "I'm sorry Luke."

Lucas shook his head and smiled at her. "There's nothing to be sorry about, it just shows me that maybe we aren't meant to be together like I thought."

"I'm still sorry Luke." She said softly as she looked at him. "I know you love her, and it's got to be hard on you. You know if you need to talk at all I'm here for you, right?"

"Of course I know that Brooke. Why do you think you're the one I called?"

"Well, I thought it was because you loved me. Not because you wanted to use me." She replied, obviously joking with him.

"I do love you, just figured it wouldn't hurt to use you just a little bit." Lucas shrugged with a small laugh. It was nice to sit with Brooke and talk.

"Okay. Enough about the sad talk. Let's talk about your book some more." Brooke grinned, patting his hand before moving to pick up her drink. She took a sip and looked at Lucas. "And before you say it, no I'm not sick of hearing it. I'm happy for you Broody. You deserve to see some success with that book, because you are an amazing writer."

"You're just saying that because you're in the book."

"Hardly, Lucas." Brooke laughed. She knew that Lucas knew that she meant what she had said. She was really proud of her ex-boyfriend. He had done an amazing job with that book. She looked down at the glass in her hand and started to run a finger along the rim of it.

"You okay, Brooke?"

She looked up, her eyes meeting Lucas' baby blue ones. Brooke knew she shouldn't tell the broody blonde what exactly was on her mind, but she could trust him. He was a good friend to her and maybe he'd be able to help her figure out what to do. "I just..." She trailed off and sighed biting her lip. It was Rachel's place to tell, not hers. "I'm worried about Rachel."

Lucas was silent for a moment as she looked at her. "What's going on with her that has you worried?" He asked softly. Brooke always seemed to be worried. Well, that wasn't fully true. She always seemed to be worried about someone, Rachel was just usually at the top of the list.

"I shouldn't be saying anything about this, so you gotta promise me Lucas that you aren't going to tell anyone." Brooke said, looking at him.

"Don't worry Brooke. Whatever you say to me will stay between us. I won't say a word to anyone." Lucas told her honestly.

Brooke bit her lip slightly as she stayed silent for a moment. She was trying to figure out the best way to let Lucas know what was going on with the redhead. "Rachel... she's...pregnant." Brooke looked up, her eyes connecting with Lucas' as she tried to read him. There was a slight shocked expression coming to the surface, which didn't surprise the brunette.

"Are you sure?" Lucas questioned.

Brooke shrugged a little. "As far as I know Rachel's only taken a home pregnancy test, so there's a chance she might not be. But I don't know I haven't gotten the chance to talk to really talk to her yet. She locked herself in her room before you called me."

A nod, followed by a question Brooke had been expecting. "Well, if she is pregnant, does she know who the father is?"

"Yeah, she does." Brooke replied with a small sigh. A couple years ago that probably would have been a question she'd ask too. But Rachel was different now, more grown up. Owen had been a good influence on the redhead, and Brooke just hoped he'd continue to be there for her. "They've been dating for awhile, longest relationship I think Rachel's ever had." Brooke sighed. "She just doesn't seem to be talking it all too well."

"Rachel's a big girl Brooke, I'm sure she's going to be fine." Lucas told her, a small comforting smile on his lips. "She's got you around after all. And I'm sure she knows that. Just give her a bit of time to digest it all."

"You're right, and I know it. I just can't help but worry about her. She's not as strong as she seems." Brooke replied. It was another thing her and the redhead had in common. They both acted like they were fine by themselves. Like they didn't need anyone else and nothing bothered them. But it wasn't the truth, it was all just an act. "Anyway, you told me you proposed but you didn't show me the ring. Any chance I'll get to see it?"

"I was wondering when you were going to ask." Lucas said letting out a small laugh, before he reached into his coat pocket and pulled out the ring box. He passed it over to Brooke, who eagerly took it and opened it up, a small gasp leaving her lips.

"Lucas, it's beautiful." Brooke said looking from the ring to Lucas. "I can't believe she said no."

Before Lucas could say anything in response though, a voice from behind Brooke spoke up. "We have an engagement!" Their waitress announced without asking questions. Brooke opened her mouth to protest but the waitress continued talking. "A bottle of champagne on the house." Brooke glanced towards Lucas and shrugged, before slipping the ring on her finger. They might as well make use of the ring. Getting free alcohol didn't hurt.

* * * * * * * * * *

The first thing Brooke noticed was the throbbing in her head. The second thing she noticed was the heavy arm draped over her. She froze, ignoring the pain in her head as she tried to figure out what was going on. Slowly it all came back to her. Meeting up with Lucas, drinking endless amounts of alcohol, and stumbling in the apartment door. "Oh god," She whispered as she pushed back the blanket slightly, shifting under Lucas' arm. Brooke breathed out a sigh of relief when she noticed her clothes were still on. That was a good sign. It meant that she didn't do anything too stupid last night.

Biting her lip, Brooke slowly moved out from under Lucas' arm as she got off the bed not wanting to wake him up. She quietly moved through her room, smoothing out her clothes and running her fingers through her hair. As she reached her bedroom door, she glanced back at Lucas, smiling slightly- he looked so peaceful while he was sleeping. Brooke opened her bedroom door and slipped out of the room, quietly closing it behind her.

She started to move down the hall, her gaze moving towards the living room, where she saw Rachel sitting on the couch, a thin blanket wrapped around her. One thing Brooke had been lucky enough to witness while living with Rachel both in senior year and now was a different side of the redhead. A side that wasn't always dressed to impress, and was willing to just be herself. Brooke turned her gaze away from her friend before disappearing into the bathroom to grab some asprin. Once she'd popped a couple into her mouth and drank a bit of water, she left the bathroom and headed into the living room. She sat down by Rachel feet at one end of the couch.

Brooke turned to her redhead friend and gave her a small smile. "Hey slut, how are you?"

Rachel's gaze lifted from the cell phone she had in her hand, but she remained sitting as she had been, her knees pulled to her chest, and her body leaning sideways against the couch. "Tired." Was her simple reply, before she went on. "You and Luke got in pretty late last night, made a lot of noise."

"Uh... yeah... sorry about that..." Brooke trailed off.

Rachel smirked. "So, what you guys have sex? Used protection I hope... not that it works, I mean look at me."

Brooke sighed, and studied Rachel for a moment before giving her an answer. "No, we didn't have sex." She replied. "And I know that, because we both had clothes on this morning." Brooke paused, trying to figure out how exactly she wanted to word her next comment. "Are you going to tell Owen?"

"About you and Lucas stumbling in at three in the morning? No. Why would I?"

Brooke rolled her eyes and looked at Rachel. She knew the redhead knew exactly what she was referring to. "Rach, you know you're going to have to tell Owen about the pregnancy, right?"

"Not if I get an abortion." Rachel said her voice quiet as her gaze dropped to the cell phone in her hand. "Then, no one else has to know."

"Is... is that what you want, Rachel?"

She watched as her friend closed her eyes and shook her head. "I don't know what I want anymore Brooke." Rachel's eyes opened, and she looked up at Brooke.

Brooke reached over and rested her hand on Rachel's knee. "Rach, I'll be there for whatever you're decision ends up being. If you decide to go the abortion route, I'll drive you to the clinic and drive you home. But, you do know that if you decide to have this baby, you won't be alone. I'll be there to help out anyway I can."

A small smile came to Rachel's lip and she nodded. "I know Brooke, and I really appreciate it." She sighed. "When I figure out what I'm going to do, I'll let you know."

The sound of Brooke's bedroom door seemed to echo through the apartment, and Rachel glanced over the edge of the couch. "Asprin's in the bathroom Luke, help yourself!" Rachel called out to him, a small smirk on her lips.

Brooke just shook her head as she got up from the couch. "I'm going to go make something for breakfast, you want anything?"

"No, I'm good. I'm not that hungry right now." Rachel shrugged.

"Alright, but if you change your mind, you'll be making yourself something." Brooke stated, before leaving the living room, and heading into the kitchen. She could barely remember what happened last night. She just really hoped that she didn't do anything too stupid.

* * * * * * * * * *

Brooke scanned the crowd for the broody blonde. The past year had been crazy. From Rachel's pregnancy to her company growing twice in size. When she'd gotten the call from Lucas that morning, asking her to meet him for a couple of drinks she'd been a little shocked. They hadn't talked all too much since the morning after the drunken night they shared. Of, course nothing had happened that night, though there was a small part of the brunette that kind of wished something had happened. No matter what she said or how much she played it off, Brooke still had feelings for Lucas Scott. And, she knew that she always would, even if he moved on. In the back of her mind she was always comparing every guy she met to him. And who could blame her?

It wasn't long before she spotted him at a table near the bar. A smile came to her lips as he approached his table. "Why did you want to meet here? Plan on getting me drunk again Broody?"

"I think I've been there and done that." Lucas shrugged with a smile, as he got up and gave her a hug. "It's good to see you pretty girl."

"Good to see you too Luke." She replied as they pulled apart from the hug. It didn't matter if Lucas and her were dating or not. Every time he called her pretty girl, her heart leapt. It was almost like an instant reaction. "It's been awhile."

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that." Lucas said as he sat back down.

"No need to be sorry Luke." Brooke smiled at him. "It's not like you're to blame. We've both been incredibly busy. Not to mention, we both live in different places, it's kind of hard to get together."

Lucas nodded. "You're right about that." He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. "Before I forget, Haley wanted me to give this to you." Lucas thumbed through everything in his wallet and pulled out a small picture of Jamie.

Brooke took the picture from Lucas and grinned. "Oh! He's gotten so big already. Him and Jayden both. Time goes way too fast if you ask me."

Lucas laughed. "I know how you feel. Jamie's only two, and he's a smart kid already. At the rate he's going he'll be smarter than me by the age of five."

"He is Haley's son. It wouldn't surprise me." Brooke smiled. "He'll also probably be good with music and amazing at basketball, not to mention an all around heart breaker."

"Hopefully he's not too much of a heartbreaker." Lucas mused, as he looked at Brooke. "So how have you been Brooke?"

Brooke smiled as she really thought over her answer to the question. There were so many things she could say. After a moment she decided on a simple answer. "Busy." She told him. "My magazine just started up, and I've been working on new designs. I've also been helping Rachel and Owen out a bit when I can."

"Speaking of Rachel, how's motherhood treating her?"

"Surprisingly good." Brooke replied. "You wouldn't believe how protective she is of Jayden. When they first brought him home, she jumped at any sound he made. I don't think she slept for the first couple of weeks." Rachel had really surprised the brunette. She wasn't afraid to admit that. Her friend had been afraid she'd be a horrible mother, but she really proved to be a great one. "Jayden's first birthday is coming up, and Rachel's going all out for it."

Lucas smiled. "It's funny how much has changed since graduation."

"I know, and it hasn't even been that long yet." It was the truth. Graduation had only happened a couple of years ago, and already there had been great success for many of them. "Our ten year reunion in Tree Hill, is going to be interesting."

"Why do you say that, Cheery?"

"Look at how far everyone's already come, and it's only been two years. Eight years from now, everyone is going to be a lot further in their careers and just life in general. I just think it's going to be interesting to see how things work out in the long run." Brooke explained with a smile.

Lucas nodded, and after a moment Brooke stood up. "Come on Broody, let's head back to my apartment, I'm not feeling the whole club thing tonight. We can watch Weird Science together."

"Weird Science?" Lucas questioned looking up at Brooke. The brunette nodded and Lucas smiled. "I'm in."

* * * * * * * * * *

The sound of knocking was what Brooke woke up to, curled up on the couch, her head on Lucas' shoulder, his arm wrapped around her, in an almost protective manner. The night had been good. They'd come back to the apartment and pretty much spent the night watching random movies. The two of them must have fallen asleep during the last movie. Otherwise, Brooke would have made sure that she'd gotten Rachel's old room half decent for Lucas to sleep in.

Brooke sighed and pulled away from Lucas, trying not to wake him up, only she didn't succeed. "Where you going?" Lucas mumbled, still clearly half asleep.

"I gotta go get the door." Brooke said quietly, before continuing to get up and heading for the door. She pulled it open and saw her redheaded friend standing there, with Jayden in her arm. "Rach? What are you doing here?" Brooke wasn't sure what time it was exactly, all she knew was that it had to be early in the morning. Then again, she could easily be wrong about that.

"Hey, I really hate to ask you this, because I know you probably have stuff to do for work, but could you watch Jayden for a couple of hours?" Rachel questioned, getting straight to the point. And, Brooke found it odd the redhead didn't just let herself in, after all she still had a set of keys for the apartment.

Brooke smiled at her friend and looked at Jayden who had his head resting on his mom's shoulder. "You know I don't mind, Rach."

"Thank you. Owen just got in late from work last night, and this morning when I got up to get ready to head to the photoshoot, he was still sleeping, and I didn't want to make him get up because he's already running on little sleep. I was going to bring Jayden with me, but I thought it might not be the greatest idea, and then I thought of you."

"You okay Rach? You're kind of rambling."

Rachel smiled slightly and shook her head. "Just tired, it's been a crazy week for me." She kissed the top of Jayden's head. "Kay, buddy, you're gonna stay with Auntie Brooke for a bit. Daddy will come and get you later."

Brooke took Jayden as Rachel handed him to her. "Hi Jay-bear." She smiled at the soon-to-be one year old. "We're gonna have fun."

"Thanks Brooke. I left a note for Owen, whenever he wakes up. He'll stop by to get Jay. If there's any problems just call me and leave a message, I'll get to my phone when I can."

"Rach, I've watched him for you before. Don't worry things are going to be fine. Go do your thing."

Rachel nodded, she leaned in and kissed the top of Jayden's head again before heading down the hall. Brooke watched with a smile. Rachel had really changed since having Jayden. The brunette closed the apartment door and headed back to the living room with Jayden, whose fingers were tangling in her hair. She smiled before settling on the couch beside Lucas again. "I get to play babysitter for awhile today, you gonna help me out a bit? I promise I won't make you change diapers." Brooke said, looking over at the broody blonde.

Lucas laughed softly, holding out a finger to Jayden, who wrapped his small hand around it and held on, giggling slightly. "As long as I don't have to change diapers, I'll stick around for a bit. I don't have any plans until tomorrow."

"Good." Brooke smiled.

* * * * * * * * * *

Owen had called a couple hours after Rachel had dropped Jayden off, asking if she'd mind watching him for a little while longer. Of course, Brooke said it was no big deal. She loved the little boy, and she loved helping out her friends. Plus, with Lucas at the apartment she could still get the designs she had to done. Her gaze moved towards Lucas who was lying on the couch, Jayden asleep on his chest. A smile came to the brunette's lip, the image was cute- one that would definitely be locked away in her memory.

"You know, if you're uncomfortable Luke, we can move Jayden to my room." She said softly. Jayden had probably fallen asleep twenty minutes ago after Lucas had entertained him with pretty much anything he could find.

"Nah, I'm fine." Lucas replied shifting slightly on the couch, careful not to stir Jayden. "How are the designs coming?"

"I'll be done them sometime today." Brooke replied with a smile. Lucas just nodded, and Brooke knew that if it had been her mother who'd asked the question and she'd given the reply she had, she'd be getting an earful.

A silence fell over the living room, as Brooke went back to her designs and Lucas closed his eyes. Every once in awhile she'd glance over at Lucas, smiling to herself. He wasn't falling asleep, that was clear. He was just relaxing, his hand rubbing small circles on Jayden's back. It was just a cute scene, and Brooke felt a small ache in her chest. There was this part of her that wished that her and Lucas were still together, that they had their own little boy or girl to take care of. Brooke sighed and went back to her work. There was no point in thinking about all of that, it was just going to bring her heartache.

It wasn't long before the sound of the apartment door opening could be heard. Brooke looked up and turned her head. Rachel had probably used her key to get in. Her suspicion was confirmed, when she heard her redheaded friend laugh, Owen's voice following soon after. "Davis?"

"Living room, Owen." She called out, glancing over at Jayden to make sure the raised voices hadn't woken him up.

Lucas shifted on the couch, carefully moving Jayden in his arms as he sat up. Brooke's gaze moved back to her designs. "So, what Owen, you ask me to keep an eye on Jay, so the two of you can have some alone time?"

"For your information Brooke, I just finished that stupid photoshoot, and Owen picked me up on his way to get Jayden." Rachel replied. There was a pause. "Lucas? When the hell did you get here?"

"Rachel." Owen shook his head.

"What?"

"You know Jay's in the room right?"

"Oh come on. He's my son, he's heard a lot worse than that." Rachel rolled her eyes and Brooke couldn't help but laugh at her friend.

Brooke watched with a smile as Rachel walked over to Lucas and scooped her sleeping son out of his arms. Rachel placed a kiss on top of Jayden's head as she shifted him in her arms.

"And you'll be the one who'll have to explain to him why he can't repeat what he hears." Owen mused before holding a hand out to Lucas. "I'm Owen, by the way."

"Lucas." Lucas replied, shaking Owen's hand.

Rachel shook her head. "Now that introductions are over with, when did you get here Lucas?"

"I was here when you dropped Jayden off this morning." Lucas shrugged.

Rachel raised an eyebrow and turned to look at Brooke. "Why didn't you tell me that?"

Brooke shrugged. "You were in a hurry."

"Like that's an excuse."

"As much as I love when you guys banter, Rach we gotta get going. My mom's supposed to be at the apartment in an hour."

Rachel sighed, and shifted the still sleeping Jayden in her arms. "I'll see you later Brooke, thanks for watching Jay."

"Anytime, Rach. Have fun with Owen's mom this afternoon." Brooke said with a smile. Owen's mom was probably the only parent that Rachel was afraid of. Well, there was Victoria, but it was more frustration then fear. Rachel wasn't afraid to go head to head with her. Rachel was just different with Owen's mom. It was almost like the redhead was constantly afraid of losing the women's approval.

"I'm sure I will." Rachel said as she left the living room and headed for the door.

Owen shook his head with a smiled. "Thanks Brooke. Talk to you later."

"Bye Owen." Brooke smiled and watched as he followed after Rachel. The sound of the door opening and closing echoed through the small apartment.

"He seems nice." Lucas mused as he leaned back against the couch cushions.

Brooke nodded. "He's a good guy. He's been a great influence on Rachel. And most importantly he makes her happy. Him and Jayden both." She'd seen her friend change so much for the better in such a short time. She couldn't help but be thankful to Owen. He'd been great for Rachel.

"So what do you want to do now? I've still got time to kill before I do anything."

"I don't know." Brooke mused as she looked at him. "We could go out for an early dinner or something."

"Works for me." Lucas replied.

"Good. I'm going to go change." Brooke smiled and got up from where she had been sitting on the floor. So far today had been a great day, she loved spending time with Lucas. And, seeing him with Jayden just made her day more entertaining. She knew he was going to have to go back to Tree Hill eventually, but she didn't want him to. Brooke loved having him around. Though, the more time she spent around him the more she realized how much she still loved him. It was hard, but she really didn't want him to go any time soon.

* * *

AN: Hey all. I'm sorry for the long wait, once again. My internet was down for a bit, and there was some drama in my life. I know this chapter just kind of ends, but I think there's going to be a second half to it for Brooke's flashbacks and what not. Thank you all for your reviews. I've finally hit 100. Yay! *throws confetti* Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter, I'm not entirely happy with it, but I wanted to get something up. And, before I forget if you're interested in oth rp boards, I've got the link to one in my profile, it's got the same name as this fic, but a completely different idea, hope you check it out.


	15. Crowd Surf off a Cliff

"_**They made me feel better, then they just made me...feel."  
**__**~ Rachel Gatina**_

Rachel looked over at Julian. They were at a New Years Eve party. Julian had been against the idea the moment she'd brought it up. Ever since he'd found her at the club, he'd been staying at the apartment with her, keeping an eye on her to make sure she didn't do anything stupid. She appreciated her friend for it, but she'd been getting so tired of being cooped up. Rachel hadn't answered her cell phone or apartment phone in two weeks. Yes it was selfish, but she'd been so tired of all the crap going on. Not only was she being selfish, but she was being neglectful. She should be trying to talk to her son. She shouldn't be willing to give up so easily. At least that was what Julian kept telling her. Part of Rachel was pretty sure he'd been answering her phones, when she'd told him not to.

Julian sighed, an arm wrapping around her to keep her standing. "How much have you had to drink Rachel?"

"No idea, Julie." Rachel giggled. He'd left her side for a short time, and she' done plenty of shots with Meredith, and she took something else, though she wasn't very sure what it was. She pulled away from him and started to head down one of the halls at the house they were currently in, knowing that Julian would follow as the countdown to the New Year started.

"Rachel where are you going?" Julian called after her.

Rachel just smiled to herself, and reached back taking hold of Julian's hand. She slipped into a room, pulling Julian with her, and as the voices outside cried out, "Happy New Year", Rachel pressed her lips against Julian's. Her thoughts were automatically going to Owen though. She wished she could be with him this New Year's Eve. Having Owen back would have been a great way to start the New Year.

Julian pulled back, his hands on Rachel's shoulders as he held her a little ways away from himself. "What are you doing?"

"Havin' a little fun." Rachel smirked, as she moved towards him again. Her hands moved towards his belt, as she kept her eyes on him. She hadn't had sex in a long time. She needed it, it would help her forget for a bit. And, she knew Julian, they were friends, it would work, right? "You up to a little bit of fun with me Julian?"

"Rachel, no." Julian's hands moved from Rachel's shoulders, to her hands, pulling them away from his belt.

Rachel pressed her lips to his again for a quick kiss. When she pulled away she leaned towards his ear. "You know you want me Julian."

Julian pushed Rachel away gently and looked down at her. "Rachel, stop it. You don't know what you're doing right now."

"Yes I do." She looked at him, her eyes almost pleading. "I want this Julian..."

"No you don't. You'll regret it in the morning Rachel; let's just get you back to your apartment and in bed, alright?" Julian leaned forward and kissed her forehead.

Rachel closed her eyes, knowing Julian was right about this. As nice as it would be at this moment in time, when she wasn't all there, once she was sober she'd be regretting every second. All the one night stands that she'd had in the past left her feeling that exact way. Regretful. It was like she felt like she was cheating on Owen all over again, even if they weren't together anymore. Every time she felt the same ache in her chest as she did when she woke up beside Cooper and remembered the events of the night before.

Her cheeks suddenly felt wet, and it took Rachel a moment to realize she was crying. She felt Julian's arms wrap around, and the tears started to fall even more. She hated this. She hated crying, she hated feeling so weak- especially when she wasn't alone in the room. "Why?" Her voice was quiet, and she wasn't sure Julian had heard it.

"Why what, Rae?" Julian asked softly, holding her close.

"Why do I do this?" Her voice was still quiet. "Why do I let myself do this?" She knew Julian probably didn't know what she was asking, and honestly, neither did she. "Why have I let myself get here?" She'd messed up so badly the past couple of months.

"Rae, what's been done can be reversed." Julian replied, running his hand along her arm.

"I don't know about it this time." Rachel whispered. She didn't know if she was strong enough to fix the things she'd done recently. She didn't think she deserved the forgiveness of her friends and son.

_Cursed with a love that you can't express  
__It's not for a fuck, or a kiss  
__Rather give the world away than wake up lonely  
__Everywhere and every way I see you with me_

Brooke shifted the sleeping Jayden on her lap as she glanced over at Owen. "Happy New Year, Owen." She said softly. Jayden had asked her to come over for New Years, and she couldn't say no to the little boy, especially not with Rachel having pretty much disappeared. And she was pretty sure Owen appreciated her presence.

"Happy New Years, Brooke." He sighed, stretching a little where he sat on the couch beside her. "You know you didn't have to come tonight. I'm sure there was some New Year's party you wanted to go to or something."

"Are you kidding me Owen? I love spending time with both Jayden and Jamie. I can't say no when they ask me to do things."

Owen shook his head with a small laugh. "No wonder they're both spoiled rotten."

Brooke smiled, running her fingers through Jayden's short brown hair. She turned her head to look at Owen and pondered how she was going to tell him what she had to. "So, um, there's something I got to tell you."

"You know you can tell me anything Brooke."

It was odd how good of friends they'd become. Even with the drama between Owen and Rachel, Brooke found that their friendship grew. In an odd way Owen was like a brother. Protective and always considerate. He got frustrated with her, and she got frustrated with him. Usually that frustration came whenever they discussed Rachel. "I've been talking to this guy- a friend of Rachel's. He's bringing her back to Tree Hill."

Brooke's gaze stayed on Owen as he sat still for a moment, clearly taking in the information she'd just given him. "Is she okay?"

"I don't know." Brooke sighed. "I want to believe she is, but Julian's being really hush hush about it. He says she's been locked up in her room since Victoria fired her."

Though, there was a big part of Brooke that knew that couldn't be the case. If Rachel was upset she'd go out and drink and make an idiot of herself. Which was why Brooke was so worried about her. Brooke really felt guilty that she hadn't been in New York when her mother had fired Rachel. She should have been there to put a stop to it. She was still fighting to get her friend her job back. There just seemed to be far too many barriers at the moment thanks to her mother. It really pissed her off.

"Julian?"

"Rachel's friend." Brooke could tell by the way Owen stiffened up that he wasn't happy about Rachel's friend being a guy. Though, she had said that in the beginning, of course Owen had probably over looked that, his concern for Rachel taking over. Owen still loved Rachel, and Rachel still loved Owen. There was no denying that. Brooke understood how it could be hard to forgive and forget what Rachel did, but she hoped Owen could bring himself to do it. Rachel had made a horrible mistake, one that she clearly regretted. Then again, when people cheated they usually did regret it. "Don't worry Owen, they're not dating or sleeping together."

"Who says I was worried about that?"

Brooke shook her head, and continued to run her fingers through Jayden's hair. "Have you talked to Jay about Rachel lately?"

Owen sighed. "I've been telling him that she loves him and wishes she could be here with him. But I know that he really doesn't want to accept that as an answer. He misses her."

"So do you, Morello." Brooke said, her eyes locking with Owens.

"I miss her all the time Davis."

"I know, which is why I don't understand why you haven't talked to her and tried to work this all out."

"It's kind of hard when she goes missing."

"Before that, Owen."

Owen went quiet. His gaze moved from Brooke to Jayden. "It's hard Brooke. Every time I see her, I think of the day that she told me she slept with another guy. All I can think of is how I felt so betrayed. How I felt like I'd been slapped in the face."

"I know how it feels. Maybe not to the exact same degree, but you're not the only one who's been cheated on Owen." Brooke stated. "And at least she didn't go behind your back with your best friend. At least your best friend didn't come to tell you that she was in love with Rachel or something. Rachel was drunk and the guy was some random." Of course, Brooke didn't know that it was in fact Nathan's uncle that Rachel had slept with. "Lucas went behind my back with my best friend. And then my best friend came to tell me that she was in love with Lucas. It happened to me twice Owen."

"How were you able to ever forgive Lucas and Peyton for that?"

"My love for Lucas made it easier." Brooke replied softly. "He was honestly sorry the first time. And it wasn't like he had any control over the way Peyton felt."

"Do you still love him?"

Brooke looked at Owen silently for a moment. She knew that whatever she said to him was safe. He wouldn't dream of sharing anything she said. "Yeah. I do." She sighed. "But he's got a new girlfriend and he's happy. I don't want to ruin that for him. I love him too much to ruin his happiness. You on the other hand can go for the person you love. She's miserable without you, you know that Owen? She doesn't laugh and smile the way she use to. The light's gone. It's all half assed. You and Jayden make her happy. She needs that."

"I don't know Brooke."

"I'm not telling you to jump into bed with her again Owen. When she gets back to Tree Hill, talk to her. Be there for her. Because the way Julian was talking, it sounds like she needs you, me and Jayden right now."

"I'll think about it."

Brooke smiled. "That's all I wanted to hear." She said softly, her gaze moving back to the little boy asleep in her lap. Owen and Rachel needed to work things out if not for them- for their son.

_Crowd surf off a cliff  
__Land out on the ice  
__Crowd surf off to sea  
__Float towards the beach_

Lucas sat at the table, his laptop open in front of him. He was once again trying to write. But the words just weren't coming. Instead he felt guilty. He felt guilty that he had yet to tell Lindsey about Peyton kissing him. He kept trying to tell himself that it wasn't that big of a deal, but that didn't stop the guilt from settling over him. He should have told her when it happened, because if he said anything now she was going to be far angrier about it.

"How's the writing coming?"

Lucas looked up and smiled at Lindsey as she took a seat across from him at the table, a coffee cup in hand.

"It's...coming along..." Lucas trailed off. In all honesty it wasn't coming along at all. He couldn't really get past his writer's block. He'd write a page and then end up deleting it, because he wasn't happy with it or couldn't think of what else to write. The past few months it had been the same thing. Lindsey would ask, and Lucas would reply with the same thing. He hated that she was waiting on him for this great second novel, and he was producing nothing at all.

Lucas sighed and leaned back in his seat, he couldn't keep it in any longer. He had to tell her, before it ate away at him anymore. "Lindsey, I have to tell you something..." He trailed off.

The way Lindsey looked at him, made him feel all the more guilty. "What exactly do you have to tell me?" She asked, her voice soft.

"The night that we had the get together at Tric, and you couldn't make it... something happened." The more he spoke, the more guilty he felt. Why couldn't he have just kept his mouth shut about this? It would have been a far better idea.

He saw Lindsey sit up a little straighter as she studied him. She put the mug of coffee she had in her hand down on the table before speaking. "What happened Lucas?"

"Peyton... she... kissed me."

A silence fell between them, as Lindsey just looked at him for a moment. He could almost see her heart breaking, and it killed him. This was why he shouldn't have said anything. Without saying a word Lindsey got up from her seat, and turned to leave the kitchen. Lucas automatically got up and moved to follow her. "Lindsey, wait."

Lindsey paused mid step and shook her head. She didn't turn around. Instead, with her back to him she said, "I just need to be alone for a bit, okay, Luke? I just need to think." And with that she started walking away again, leaving Lucas to sight and shake his head. He screwed this up, big time.

_If you find me, hide me, I don't know where I've been_

Haley sang softly to herself as she set the table with three plates of pancakes, bacon and eggs. It was the first morning of the new year. She had spent the night playing games on the Wii with Nathan and Jamie. It was good quality family time, and Haley was definitely going to try to make it a New Year's Eve tradition in the house for as long as she could get away with it. As she turned to fill two mugs with coffee she felt arms wrap around her, and lips press against her cheek.

She turned her head and pressed her lips against Nathan's. "Did you wake up Jamie?" Haley questioned once she pulled back from the kiss.

"He's still out like a light." Nathan smiled. "More food for me."

"It's going to be fun trying to get him to go to bed at a decent time tonight." Haley mused as she picked up the mugs of coffee, and moved away from Nathan and towards the kitchen table.

Nathan followed with a laugh and sat down. "We could always call Owen and see if he's got any plans. I'm sure a little play date would kill any energy Jamie and Jayden have. Perfect way to get Jamie to bed early."

"Hmm. I like the way you think." Haley smiled as she settled in her own seat. She picked up her mug of coffee and sipped at the hot liquid. "So, I was thinking..."

"About?" Nathan questioned before he started to dig into the plate of food sitting in front of himself.

"You and me taking a weekend vacation." Haley smiled to herself. She'd been thinking about it a lot lately. They hadn't really had a lot of time just for the two of them. That was probably because neither of them really liked leaving Jamie alone with anyone for longer than a day. "Just the two of us."

Nathan looked at her silently for a moment, raising an eyebrow slightly. "Just the two of us?"

Haley nodded. "It'd only be for a weekend. I was talking to Brooke about it the other day, and she was saying she'd love to watch Jamie while we're gone. Either she'd come here and sleep in the guest room, or we could bring Jamie over there."

"You know, I think it sounds like a good idea. Where were you wanting to go Hales?"

"I haven't figured that out yet." Haley replied honestly. "Not too far, just in case something happens and we need to get home fast. Not that I think something will happen, you just never know, right?"

"How about tonight we see what we can find then?"

"Sounds like a plan to me." Haley smiled at Nathan. A weekend away, just the two of them, would be nice.

"Is there any food left?"

Haley and Nathan both turned to see their son standing there in his pyjamas. "You're just in time Jim Jam. I was just about to start eating your plate of food."

_Are we breathing? Are we wasting our breath?  
__It won't be enough to be rich  
__All the babies tucked away in their beds  
__We're out here screaming_

Rachel didn't know what time it was exactly. All she really knew was that one moment she'd been at the party drinking, and the next she was in her bed- alone. She rubbed her forehead as she sat up, her head killing her. Why did she continually do this to herself? The whole getting drunk and/or high thing was getting old. Rachel closed her eyes and tried to will the pounding headache away but it wasn't working. The bed shifted slightly, and Rachel opened her eyes to see Julian sitting down on the edge of the bed. "Morning." He said quietly.

"Morning." Rachel replied. She got a distinct feeling that she'd done something incredibly stupid last night at the party, she just couldn't figure out what it was.

"Here." Julian passed her a glass of water and a couple asprin. "Figured you could use this."

Rachel smiled slightly as she popped the asprin into her mouth and gulped down some water. "Thanks." She replied after a moment.

Julian sighed. "Okay, I was going to wait until you were over your hangover, but..."

"But what?" Rachel was confused. It was too early for him to be cryptic. And her hangover wasn't helping in the slightest.

"You and me are taking a trip."

"A trip? You know you're just confusing me more and more..."

"Tomorrow morning we have a flight to Tree Hill to catch."

Rachel froze, and looked at Julian like he was insane. That had to be the worse idea she'd ever heard. "I can't." She said softly, looking down at her hands. She ran a finger up and down the glass she was currently holding.

"Why not Rachel? Your son is there. Don't you want to see him?" Julian questioned, he reached out and pushed a strand of her dark hair behind her ear. "Don't you want to see your friends in Tree Hill?"

"I can't, Julian." Rachel said, closing her eyes. It wasn't that she didn't want to see them. She was ashamed of her actions during the past few weeks. She was ashamed of what she had let herself become, and she didn't want anyone else to see her like this. It was bad enough Julian was around right now. "I thought we've been over this already, they all hate me. Jayden hates me, he may have not meant it when he said it, but I know he'd mean it now. And Brooke is probably pissed off at me for not getting in touch with her. She probably knows that her mother fired me by now. There's no way Owen wants me around. We may have made a step in the right direction, but that's gone now."

Julian shook his head. "Just because you haven't been in touch with them the past few weeks, doesn't mean they hate you Rachel. They're worried about you."

Rachel opened her eyes and looked up at Julian. "And how would you know that?"

Julian sighed and looked at her silently for a moment. "Because I've been talking to Brooke."

"What?" Rachel's eyebrows knitted together in confusion. She distinctly remembered telling him not to answer her phones, and just to stay out of it all.

"Don't be mad about it Rachel," Julian said as he looked at her. "I couldn't just sit around and let your friends think something happened to you. If I was Brooke, and I hadn't heard from you in weeks, I'd be worried."

Rachel shook her head. "Why couldn't you just leave it alone Julian?"

"Because you're not happy Rachel. What you're doing to yourself- you have to stop." Julian replied. "You need to be around friends Rachel, and your son. You need to be around people that can help you stay away from the shit you told me you gave up a long time ago."

Rachel froze. "Oh god... you... you told Brooke didn't you?" That was the last thing she wanted- her brunette friend finding out about the things she'd been doing.

"No. That's for you to tell her. I just told her you haven't been yourself, and that I was bringing you to Tree Hill."

"Aren't you worried you're going to run into Peyton while you're there?" Rachel asked softly, looking up at her friend.

"I'm counting on it." Julian shrugged as he reached into his pocket and pulled out Rachel's cell phone. "Here, there are a couple messages you should probably listen to on there. I'm going to go make something to eat."

Rachel took the cell phone from Julian and watched as her friend made his way out of the room. She bit her lip and looked down at the cell phone for a moment, not really sure if she wanted to hear any messages or not. They were probably ones full of angry voices, telling her she was an idiot. And she was. After a moment she flipped her cell phone open and went to the voicemail. She listened to the automated voice, before a familiar female voice came on.

"_Honey? I heard that my mom fired you. Look, I'm going to do everything I can to get you your job back. Call me, okay? I need to know you're okay. I'm worried about you._"

The next message was another one from Brooke.

"_Rach, I gave you two days to call me back, are you okay? Call me. Please?_"

Rachel closed her eyes when she heard the voice in the next message.

"_Mommy? I'm sorry. I miss you. Daddy does too. Love you mommy._"

She was such a bad mother, she was worse than her own. How could she let herself fall so fast, when she had a son? Jayden deserved so much better. Rachel wiped at tears that slipped from her closed eyes as she listened to the next message on her phone.

"_Rachel, I'm really worried about you right now. It's Christmas Day, I thought you would have at least called Jayden last night. What's going on with you? Are you okay? Part of me wishes you were lying in a hospital bed right now, because it would explain why you haven't talked to anyone. Just... call me._"

Rachel should have dealt with this whole situation better, she knew that, but she just hadn't been playing it smart. She thought she was safer hiding from her friends, but clearly it just made things worse. She could tell by Brooke's voice, that the brunette wasn't happy with her.

"_Rach, it's me. Call me. I need to know you're okay. We're all worried. Jayden keeps asking about you, and I'm running out of things to tell him. Call someone, alright? Let us know that you're alright. Merry Christmas._"

Owen's voice took her off guard slightly. Okay, it wasn't his voice. It was his choice in wording. To her it sounded like he was trying to cover his slip up about needing to know she was okay, by using words like 'we' and 'us'. She bit her lip and listened to the last message on her phone.

"_I talked to that friend of yours- Julian. Rachel, I'm really worried about you. I'll see you when you get back to Tree Hill. We all miss you._"

Rachel closed her cell phone and tossed it to the end of the bed as she lied down again. She rolled onto her side and pulled one of her pillows to her chest as she thought about things. This all could have been prevented, if she'd just stayed in Tree Hill and taken Jayden to the mall, like she'd said she would, he wouldn't have told her he hated her, and Bitchtoria wouldn't have fired her. And maybe she wouldn't have turned to drugs and alcohol so intensely.

It wasn't long before Julian was making his way back into the room. Rachel looked over at him, still hugging the pillow to her chest. "I'm such a mess Julian." She said softly, watching him. "How did I let myself get here?"

"Let's not worry about that Rae." He sighed giving her a soft smile. "Let's just worry about getting you happy again, alright?"

Rachel hated this. She hated feeling vulnerable. She hated being such a mess, especially around other people. She nodded slowly at Julian's words. "Alright." She said softly. It wasn't like she could avoid everyone forever right? This was bound to happen eventually. Rachel knew that she needed to face everyone.

_The life that you thought through is gone  
__Can't want out, the ending outlasting the mood  
__I wake up lonely  
__If you find me, hide me, I don't know where I've been  
__When you phone me tell me everything I did  
__If I'm sorry you lost me you'd better make it quick  
__Cause this call costs a fortune and it's late where you live_

"So, she just left?" Brooke asked softly as she looked towards Lucas. They were currently sitting in the middle of what was once Karen's Cafe. Construction had started shortly before Christmas, but it had come to a standstill on the twenty-third of December until the new year had started, leaving the place a slight disaster zone. But, Brooke didn't really mind. People deserved to be able to enjoy Christmas- or whatever they celebrated- with their family. Lucas had called her wanting to talk, and she found herself telling him to meet her here.

Lucas sighed. "First she kind of hid out in my room, and then she packed up her stuff and told me she was going to stay at Hales place for a bit. I shouldn't have told her."

"Are you kidding Luke? You should have told her sooner." Brooke replied. She was still in shock that Peyton had kissed Lucas. Though, she knew she shouldn't really be all too surprised. It wasn't like it was the first time her best friend had done something like this. "You have no idea what it's like to be in Lindsey's spot right now. "

"But I didn't kiss Peyton, she kissed me."

"And that doesn't make a difference Luke." Brooke sighed shaking her head. She knew what it was like to be in Lindsey's place and it sucked. It hurt more than anything. "There was still a kiss- with one of your ex's none-the-less. And the fact that you took so long to tell her made it worse."

Lucas sighed. "What am I going to do Brooke?"

"You're going to have to give her a bit of time." It was the best suggestion that she had for Lucas. She didn't know what else there was for her to say about the matter. "You can't let her doubt what you and her have. Staying away from Peyton right now, is your best option."

Lucas just looked at her silently for a couple minutes. "I thought I left all this drama behind in high school." He said softly after awhile.

"I hate to say it Luke, but that kind of drama is unavoidable. We can try to avoid it, but it'll always be somewhere in our life."

"Why did Peyton have to do this? Why now? She said no! What did she expect? Did she just want me to sit around, and wait for her to change her mind about things?"

Brooke sighed. She reached out and placed her hand on top of Lucas' giving it a small squeeze. All she could really think about was how she was going to have to have a long talk with her best friend about this. "Things are going to be okay Luke. You and Lindsey will work this out."

"I hope you're right Brooke."

She didn't really know what to say right now, it hurt her to see him like this. Brooke wanted to find a way to help him out, but she just didn't know how. The only idea she really had was to talk to Lindsey, but she had a feeling that Lindsey probably wouldn't want to listen right now. After all, Brooke was another one of Lucas' ex girlfriends. After what Peyton had done, Brooke understood Lindsey not trusting her either. Might as well clump them into the same category, right?

"Alright, get up, we need to take your mind off of this for a bit. It's not good to sit and dwell, Broody." Brooke said after a moment. She stood up and held her hand out to Lucas. "We're going to go do some painting."

"Do I have to?" Lucas questioned, looking up at her.

"Sadly, yes, I think it'll be therapeutic for you. Now get your lazy ass up."

Lucas sighed and reached out, taking Brooke's hand. The brunette smiled as she helped him stand up and led him into the back. Painting would distract him for a little bit, wouldn't it? It'd at least distract her from the fact Julian hadn't called her back to let her know when he was going to be in Tree Hill with Rachel. She was getting antsy to see her friend. They hadn't talked in way too long, and she was worried about everything. Brooke shook her head. No, she couldn't think about that right now. She grabbed a paint brush and handed it to Lucas.

"Didn't you hire people to do this?" Lucas questioned, looking from the paintbrush to Brooke.

Brooke shrugged. "I did, but that doesn't mean we can't do a bit. They'll probably paint over it, but we can have a bit of fun, can't we?"

Lucas just nodded before going to work on painting the wall in front of him.

_Rather give the world away than wake up lonely  
__Everywhere and every way I see you with me  
__All the babies tucked away in their beds  
__We're out here screaming  
__The life that you thought through is gone  
__Can't want out, the ending outlasting the mood  
__I wake up lonely_

* * *

_AN: Oh my god, I fail! I'm so sorry I took so long. I know I promised to have this up a whole lot sooner. I've rewritten this one about three times now, and I'm still not happy with it. But, I figured I owed all my faithful readers something. I willl have the next one up soon... hopefully. I'm really sorry about the extreme wait. Forgive me? And give me some ideas. I know what I want to have happen, I just need some filler things, like little plot lines. I love you all!_


	16. Change is Hard

"_**Love will always be the guiding force in our lives."  
**__**~ Lucas Scott**_

Lucas ran a hand down his face as he sat there. He was at Tric with Brooke again, and he wasn't really sure why. He'd been trying to get a hold of Lindsey all day, usually ending up getting her voicemail. Haley at one point called him to tell him that Lindsey needed more time to figure out what she wanted to do. He'd had to resist every urge to go over to Haley's house and force Lindsey to talk to him. Really, though, what good would that have done? Instead he had found himself calling Brooke, and it was her who had told him to meet her at Tric. As the two sat at the end of the bar, Owen made his way over, "Can I get you guys anything else?"

"I'm good for now, thanks." Lucas replied. His glass was still half full he was pretty sure that he'd be good for a little while longer.

"I love coming here." Brooke said a grin on her face as she looked at Owen. "You have no choice but to get me what I want and when I want it, and you can't complain because I'm the customer."

Owen raised an eyebrow, a small smirk on his lips. "You do realize I can cut you off right?"

"You wouldn't do that to me."

"Are you forgetting that I have done it multiple times, Davis?"

Lucas watched as Brooke's lower lip jutted out in a pout, and he tried not to laugh. "Fine. I'll be on my best behaviour." She said her small pout turning into a smile. "As for right now I'm good. We'll let you know if we need anything."

Owen nodded before heading down the bar to help other customers. Lucas turned in his seat to look at Brooke. "So why exactly are we here tonight?"

"Because you needed to get out of the house, and Rachel should be here soon." She said the last part quietly, leaning towards Lucas so that he would be the only one to hear it.

"What do you mean Rachel's going to be here soon?"

"She was supposed to get into town this afternoon. But, her friend Julian called me to say their flight had been delayed. We got to talking and I told him, since the flight was going to be late, that he should bring her here. Surprise Owen..."

"You sure that was a wise idea Brooke?"

"Not really, no. But, it sounded like a good idea while I was on the phone." Brooke shrugged, as she brought her glass to her lips and sipped at it. Lucas watched as she lowered the glass and set it on the bar. "I think the main reason why it sounded so good is because I think I'll be able to hold back a bit if a bunch of other people are around."

"Hold back what exactly?" Lucas asked, even though he had good faith he knew exactly what it was.

"My anger in her for not calling anyone to let us know she was alright, my disappointment in her for letting down her son, and how worried I've been." Brooke sighed and shook her head. "Something tells me things are bad Luke. Rachel's friend, the one I've been talking to, he's been so quiet about it all. When I ask him how she is, he kind of dodges the subject, tells me she's fine just a little depressed. And putting Rachel in the same sentence as the word depressed is just asking for trouble."

"I'm sure she's fine Brooke. I mean, this Julian guy is bringing her here tonight. If something was wrong, I'm sure he would have let you know."

Brooke nodded. "I really hope so."

It still seemed to amaze Lucas how much Brooke focused on other people. The girl he met back in junior year had seemed so different. She'd been a partier and so guarded. He'd seen her open up though, grow up even. Brooke was a great friend. She stuck by her friends, and always thought of them first, sometimes neglecting herself. "Don't worry Brooke."

Brooke smiled at him. "Have you figured out what exactly you're going to say to Lindsey when she's finally willing to talk to you?" She asked, changing the subject.

Lucas thought carefully before saying anything. "I'm going to tell her that I'm sorry and that I love her. I'm going to tell her the kiss didn't mean anything." As soon as the last few words were out of his mouth, he thought back to high school when Brooke had told him that a kiss always means something. He cleared his throat and shook his head. "And, I'm going to tell her I'll do anything to make this up to her. That, I'll do whatever it takes to get her to forgive me for this."

Brooke smiled and reached over, her hand resting on his arm as she gave it a small squeeze. "You're a good guy Lucas. Despite the mistakes you've made, Lindsey is lucky to have you. And, if she doesn't forgive you, she's making a really big mistake."

Lucas looked over at her, their eyes connecting. He found himself having to resist the urge to lean over and kiss Brooke right now. What was wrong with him? Here he was talking about getting his girlfriend to forgive him, and yet his thoughts were all about kissing Brooke, one of his ex-girlfriends. This was wrong. "Thanks Brooke." He said before looking away, and picking up his beer.

A silence settled over the two of them for a moment. When Lucas glanced over at Brooke again, she had a cell phone in her hand, and she seemed to be scanning through text messages or something. "Anything interesting?"

"What?" Brooke looked up at him, seemingly confused for a moment. "Oh, no. Just checking up on a few things work related. Millie was sending me a few text messages."

"Your mother do anything else that she shouldn't have?"

"Shockingly, not yet, which is kind of making me nervous right now." Brooke laughed shaking her head. "I have this feeling that she's going to spring some big surprise on me that's just gonna be way too much."

"Well, let's hope that's not the case." Lucas shook his head. He had only briefly met Victoria once. It hadn't been enough time to get to know Brooke's mother, but the stories he'd heard about her left him not really wanting to get to know her. She sounded like a horrible person. Some of the things she said or did to Brooke, he just couldn't understand. It surprised him that Brooke was working with the woman. He chose not to say anything about it though. It was Brooke's business not his.

_I'm all outta luck but what else could I be?  
__I know he's yours and he'll never belong to me again.  
__I did him wrong.  
__So don't brag,  
__Keep it to yourself.  
__I did him wrong._

Rachel turned her head to look at Julian. "Why are we here of all places?" She questioned before glancing out the window of the taxi. Their early flight had been delayed, and once they finally got to town, Julian had barely given her enough time to relax in the hotel room before he was pushing her out there door. "I thought your big plan was to keep me away from this sort of thing."

Julian shrugged. "I figured I'd give you one last night to prove to me that you can control yourself."

Rachel rolled her eyes. She could control herself just fine. But, she knew that she hadn't given Julian much proof of that quite yet. "You do realize Owen works there right?"

"Huh, must have slipped my mind." Julian mused as he pulled his wallet out of his pocket and went through it for some cash. He handed a few bills over to the cab driver. "Think he's going to be here tonight?"

When she thought about it, Rachel honestly didn't know. She wasn't one to keep up with his schedule. When they'd been together she'd practically known it off by heart, but it was a completely different story now. "I don't know..." She trailed off slightly, before getting out of the taxi. Rachel sighed and shook her head, glancing down at the worn jeans and t-shirt she was currently wearing. "I'm not even dressed right to be out tonight."

Julian got out of the taxi and looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "You look fine, Rae. You look relaxed."

Rachel turned to look at him with a raised eyebrow, mirroring the look on his face. "Not the look I was hoping for Julian." What girl wanted to look 'relaxed' when they were going to a club? A girl wanted to look hot, she wanted to make jaws drop and pull the attention to herself. At least that was the case with Rachel.

Julian wrapped an arm around Rachel's shoulders and pulled her close. "Don't worry about it." He said, kissing the top of her head before leading her into the club.

As they walked, Rachel's eyes scanned Tric, looking to see if there were any familiar faces around. Moving further into the crowd she froze. There were definitely familiar faces here tonight. She felt Julian's hand on the small of her back, pressing against it in an attempt to get her to keep moving. And she suddenly had a distinct feeling that Julian had set her up. Why? Well, because at the bar was not only Owen working, but Brooke and Lucas were currently sitting at the end of it, talking about something.

"I can't believe you did this to me." Her voice was low and threatening. She wasn't looking at him, but Julian knew she was talking to him.

"Did what Rachel? I'm trying to be a good guy, giving you a chance to prove to me you can handle a night out without getting wasted or high." He replied calmly, waiting for her to move from her spot.

"Bullshit, Julian." She snapped whirling around to look at him. Rachel was pretty sure Brooke, Lucas, and Owen hadn't seen her yet which meant she could probably get out now without anyone seeing her.

"I'm trying to help you Rachel." Julian sighed shaking his head.

"I don't care. I'm going back to the hotel."

Rachel moved to walk past Julian, but he took a step to block her. "You're going to have to face them eventually, Rachel. You can't avoid them. Brooke's been really worried about you, and from what she's told me Owen has been too. Look, we're here and you're going to talk to them. And then tomorrow you're going to introduce me to your son. After all, I've only seen pictures of him. I think it's about time I got to see the little guy in person."

She knew he was right about this, Rachel wasn't going to deny it. "I can't do this right now Julian." Rachel said softly shaking her head.

"It's too late to go back now." Julian's hands moved to her shoulders and he turned her around. "Move, or I'll carry you over there."

Rachel knew he would do exactly what he was threatening to do, meaning she had no real choice in the matter. She took a small breath before she started to move her feet in the direction of Brooke and Lucas. Owen was preoccupied on the other end of the bar, which she was very thankful for. She'd only be able to deal with one thing at a time right now. Rachel didn't know why she was so worried about this. Okay, that was a lie. She knew full well why she was worried. Her brunette best friend was going to be royally pissed with her for not calling her back and seemingly disappearing off the face of the earth. She was going to be lucky if there was no yelling.

"Brooke..." Rachel trailed off when she was less than a foot away from her friend.

She watched as Brooke whirled around to look at her, Lucas practically doing the same. Brooke was getting up from her seat and the next thing Rachel knew her head was jerking to the side and her check stung slightly. Being slapped was not something she was expecting, but she probably should have. "I probably deserved that." She said with a sigh, before turning her head to look back at Brooke.

The brunette shook her head before pulling Rachel into a hug. "I've been worried about you whore. When I didn't hear from you I thought..." She trailed off not wanting to complete that thought, it was too depressing.

"Like you could get rid of me that easily slut." Rachel attempted to joke. Brooke pulled back and hit Rachel's arm. "Ouch. What? Am I your new punching bag or something?"

"Don't joke Rachel, not right now. And don't act like you didn't do anything wrong." Brooke snapped, and Rachel took it in stride. Her friend was pissed off, and Rachel knew right now she deserved to be greeted by the brunette's angry wrath.

Rachel sighed. "I'm sorry Brooke, I really am. I know you want me to sit down and tell you everything that's been going on lately, but I don't want to talk about it. At least not tonight." She looked at one of her best friends with pleading eyes. Rachel knew once Brooke found out about everything, she would be disappointed, and Rachel couldn't take that right now. She couldn't have someone else disappointed in her, especially when she was so disappointed in herself. "I know I screwed up big time this time around. Not calling you or Owen to let you guys know what was going on was wrong. And, it was unfair to Jayden. I know you want to talk about it Brooke. But, I just can't."

She watched Brooke's face soften as the brunette nodded. "You get a free pass tonight Rach, but we're eventually going to sit down and talk."

"I know Brooke."

"Now, you gonna introduce me and Luke to this friend of yours?"

"I'm sure you don't need introductions since you've apparently been talking to him behind my back."

"Not my fault you didn't answer your phone." Brooke shrugged.

"Brooke, Lucas, this is my friend Julian Baker. Julian this is Brooke Davis and Lucas Scott."

"Thank you for dragging her ass back to Tree Hill." Brooke smiled at him. "I was getting close to packing my bags and heading back to New York to find her."

"Rachel?"

Rachel froze for a moment, her gaze moving to look past Brooke. "Hi Owen." She said softly as she looked at him. Her brain seemed to shut down on her. She didn't know what to say or do anymore. Brooke she could deal with. But Owen? He was a completely different story. Sure she'd seen him when she walked into Tric, but she had really been hoping he'd stay at the other end of the bar. Brooke turned around to look Owen. She didn't know what to think of the situation right now. Things could either go really bad, or it would end up being okay. Owen had been worried about Rachel, but he wouldn't say it out loud, not while others were around. Rachel and Owen were alike in that sense. They didn't like to share what was really going on with them, not around a bunch of people.

_I was never no, never no, never enough,  
__But I can try, I can try to toughen up.  
__I listened when they told me  
__If he burns you, let him go.  
__Change is hard, I should know.  
__I should know.  
__I should know._

Lindsey was sitting on the couch in Nathan and Haley's home. She felt bad coming here of all places after leaving Lucas' house yesterday. Haley was Lucas' best friend and Nathan was his half brother. It was just kind of unfair to pull them into this. She should have just gone to a hotel. Lindsey wasn't even entirely sure why she was letting this hit her so hard. It had been a simple kiss, right? She wanted to believe what Lucas had said about Peyton having kissed him, but this was all so difficult. A little over a month ago things had changed. Two of Lucas' ex-girlfriends had shown up in town and suddenly everything was different. She felt so insecure around them. Yes, Lucas was with her, but things changed. All she had to do was think about the Brooke-Lucas-Peyton love triangle of high school that she had heard (and read) so much about. It was hard not to have an uneasy feeling about it right now.

The sound of a knock on the door pulled Lindsey out of her thoughts. She glanced around to see neither Haley nor Nathan around, so she got up and moved to the door. Lindsey opened the door and paused for a moment before she lashed out. Her hand came in contact with a cheek. She couldn't help it, it had been an impulsive move. Ever since Lucas had told her about Peyton kissing him it had been all she wanted to do. And now that Peyton was standing here in front of her she couldn't resist. It wasn't the smartest move and she knew it. After all this wasn't even her place.

"Woah." She heard Haley's voice behind her. "Hitting guests is not a good idea Lindsey... no matter who it is..."

"Sorry." Lindsey said, as she glared at Peyton and moved out of the way for Haley. She headed back to the couch, hoping the distance would keep her from wanting to hit the girl again.

"What do you want Peyton?" She heard Haley ask.

"I came to talk, obviously it's not a good time." Peyton's voice was low.

Haley sighed. "You'd be right about that Peyton. "

Lindsey sighed, deciding not to listen. She turned up the tv a bit and soon all she could hear was whispered voices. She felt like she was bringing unnecessary drama into the lives of the people she'd gotten to know so well. But it wasn't her fault, right? It had been Peyton who kissed Lucas while fully aware that he wasn't single. It wasn't long before Lindsey heard the front door close, and Haley was moving to sit beside her on the couch. "Sorry." She apologized again. "I just couldn't help myself. I saw her and-"

"Don't worry about it Lindsey, I if was in your place I would have done the same thing." Haley said, cutting her off. She turned in her seat to look at Lindsey. "I think you should talk to Lucas. I know you probably think that I'm just saying this because he's my best friend. But I really don't think you have anything to worry about Lindsey. Peyton kissed him, it wasn't the other way around. Yes, Lucas proposed to her, but she turned him down. She broke his heart, and I really don't think he's willing to let her back in. He loves you."

Lindsey smiled slightly at Haley. "I know. I just..." She trailed off and took a small breath. "I'm just scared that I'm going to lose him. I mean we both of read his novel. The way he talked about Brooke and Peyton... it was clear how much he loved them... and now that they're back here in Tree Hill there's this part of me that thinks things are going to change. That he's going to realize he's still in love with one of them, and I'm going to lose him."

"This is why you have to talk to him, Lindsey." Haley replied. "You need to tell him exactly how you feel, because keeping it all in isn't going to do you any good. Yes, you're telling me but it's not the same thing as talking to him. He needs to know how _you_ feel."

"I'll talk to him... tomorrow." Lindsey sighed. She knew that Haley was right she just didn't know what she was going to say to Lucas exactly. Okay, it wasn't exactly figuring out what she wanted to say, it had a great deal to do with how she was going to word what she wanted to say to him. She loved Lucas- she did. But the kiss between him and Peyton left Lindsey feeling vulnerable. After all, she knew their history. Lucas and Brooke had broken up twice because of Peyton and Lindsey felt like history was going to repeat itself.

"You better." Haley said softly as she reached out and gave Lindsey's hand a small squeeze. "And if you want I'll come with you as moral support."

Lindsey smiled. "I feel bad. Luke's your best friend, and yet here I am complaining to you about him. And asking for a place to crash. Not to mention, Peyton's a friend of yours too and I keep calling her a bitch and probably blowing things way out of proportion."

"Don't worry about it Lindsey. Luke may be my best friend, but you're a friend too. And all I want is to see you guys both happy. You just need to talk to each other and work it out." Haley mused. "And, as for Peyton, she's a good friend, but she needs to figure things out. She needs to realize she lost her chance with Lucas, and he's moved on."

Lindsey nodded before turning her gaze back towards the television. No matter what Haley said, she was still going to feel increasingly guilty about pulling her into this. She knew though that this couldn't have been the first time that Haley was pulled the drama that was her best friend's love life. If Lindsey was in Haley's place she would no doubt be annoyed to hell right now by all of it. But, Haley just took it all in stride, which made her a great person.

_So I'll keep my head down  
__If you keep it quiet from now on.  
__In the halls I'd rather heard silence than the bell of new love.  
__So don't brag,  
__Keep it to yourself.  
__I did him wrong._

Owen looked at her, and it was as though nothing else mattered. All he wanted to do was take her in his arms and hug her, kiss her. But he resisted that urge. Instead he just looked at her and simply said, "It's good to see you're still alive." He couldn't help but notice how she didn't look the same right now, and it wasn't the hair. It was her eyes.

Rachel looked down for a moment as though she was trying to gather herself before replying. "Like I said to Brooke, you can't get rid of me that easily." She said, her voice rather monotone and unlike her.

His eyes moved briefly over to the guy standing beside Rachel before looking at her again. "Jayden's been asking about you." This wasn't really a conversation to have in a busy club with people all around, but right now Owen didn't really care. He was angry and worried and just unsure.

"And what have you been telling him?" Rachel asked softly.

"That you left and you weren't coming back." Sure that was the complete opposite of what he had been telling their son, but he was angry at Rachel and he knew it would get a reaction out of her.

"Owen." Was all Rachel said as she looked at him. Owen knew the look she was giving him all too well. It was her 'I-am-so-not-amused-right-now' look. Even though he'd been so worried about her, he couldn't bring himself to be nice about her disappearance. And that had a great deal to do with Jayden. If it had just been himself that Rachel had disappeared on, Owen probably wouldn't be so angry right now. But, Jayden was so innocent and forgiving, he had to be upset for their son, because he knew that as soon as Jayden saw Rachel he'd forget that she'd been gone for so long.

"What Rachel? You didn't answer your phone, you didn't call me. Brooke had no idea where you were. For all I knew you could have been dead." Owen stated, his hands gripped at the edge of the bar as he looked at his ex. Their eyes locked for a moment, before Rachel looked away.

"What did you tell Jay, Owen?" She asked softly, taking a breath before she looked at him again. They both were ignoring the fact that other people were around them.

Owen sighed. "I told him that you loved him and you wish you could be here with him, but you weren't able to." He watched as Rachel's expression changed, and he could see the regret in her eyes. He felt bad, he did, but he couldn't bring himself to suddenly change his whole attitude about all this. Yes, he wanted to pull her into his arms out of relief that she was alright, but he couldn't bring himself to do it right now.

Rachel was quiet for a moment, and it was clear to Owen that she was thinking over her next words carefully. "Is it okay if I stop by tomorrow to talk to him?"

Owen's gut reaction was to just say no, to make her suffer a little bit for all the worrying and stress she'd put him and Brooke through. But the look in her eyes stopped him. "It'll have to be in the morning, my mom's taking him to the park in the afternoon. If you're there at nine, he'll be awake and watching cartoons."

"Alright." Rachel nodded.

"I have to go help other customers, I'll see you then Rachel." Owen said before he turned to head to the other end of the bar.

Before he could go too far though, Rachel called after him, "Owen."

He turned back to look at her, deciding to stay silent. Owen watched as she took a breath. "I'm sorry." She said softly, he was almost unable to hear her over the music and people talking.

She'd been apologizing a lot since she cheated on him. It was like that was all she was capable of saying. Maybe it was his fault for holding such a long grudge. But could he be blamed for being so unwilling to forgive her? He loved her and he never would stop loving her. But, he was afraid to trust her again. He was afraid that if he took her back, she'd just do the same thing. "It's not me you need to apologize to." He told her before turning and walking away.

Owen just needed to get away from her for now. He needed to prepare himself for tomorrow that was if she showed up. He didn't plan on saying anything to Jayden. It would be a great surprise for his son, seeing his mom all of the sudden. And then at the same time if Rachel didn't show up Jayden wouldn't be disappointed. Owen wasn't really sure why he had so much doubt in Rachel. No, that was a lie. His doubt in her came from the fact no one had heard from her in a couple weeks. And he was pretty sure that if it wasn't for her friend Julian, or whatever his name was, she probably wouldn't be here now.

_I was never no, never no, never enough,  
__But I can try, I can try to toughen up.  
__I listened when they told me  
__If he burns you, let him go.  
__Change is hard, I should know.  
__I should know.  
__I should know.  
__I should know._

* * *

_An: Okay, so I haven't gone through and edited this yet, so I'm aware there are probably spelling mistakes and errors in grammar. But, I just wanted to get this up, because it's taken me so long with past updates. I love all you reviewers, you guys are what keeps me going with this story. I've got so many ideas its just a matter of getting to those points. Don't want to cram in too much drama at once. I'm not fully happy with this chapter, but I hope you guys at least somewhat enjoyed it. Now, off to start writing the next chapter since I've got some extra time. Love you all!_


	17. Breathe In, Breathe Out pt1

"_**Realize now that when your heart breaks, you got to fight like hell to make sure you're still alive. Because you are. And that pain you feel? That's life. The confusion and fear? That's there to remind you that somewhere out there is something better, and that something is worth fighting for."  
**__**~ Nathan Scott**_

Nathan rolled over in bed. The first thing he noticed was the empty spot beside him, which could only mean it was in fact morning. He sighed to himself as he continued to lie there. Even though he knew that he should be getting up, he just couldn't bring himself to work up the energy. He heard the sound of the bedroom door open and soft footsteps on the floor. The bed shifted, and Nathan felt lips press against his cheek.

"Time to get up, Nate." Haley whispered in his ear before kissing his cheek again. "Don't want your breakfast to get cold do you?"

Nathan rolled onto his back, wrapping an arm around Haley's waist to pull her down on top of him. He pressed his lips against Haley's. When he pulled back from the kiss a moment later he asked, "What if I don't want to get up and I don't care if my breakfast gets cold?"

"Then, you can stay here and make your own breakfast when you feel like getting up." Haley replied, giving him a quick kiss before she rolled off of him.

He rolled onto his side as he wrapped an arm around his wife again. "What if I want you to stay and keep me company?"

"See, I would, but we've got a four-year-old downstairs by himself waiting for his awesome parents to come eat breakfast with him." She moved closer to him and kissed him again. "And, that's my way of telling you to get your ass out of bed. We have a couple interviews today with possible nannies."

Nathan groaned. "I thought we finished all that."

"When we finally pick someone to watch Jamie, then we're done."

"Didn't Brooke offer?" Nathan asked. It would be a lot easier if they went that route. Both of them trusted Brooke and Jamie absolutely loved her. The way he saw it, it was the perfect option.

"Brooke offered, but she's got a company to run Nate, you know that. She won't be able to keep up with that, and watch Jamie while you and me are out."

Nathan sighed as he lied back against the pillows, looking up at his wife. "I don't know why we're worrying about this so much Hales. I mean, who's to say I'm even going to be able to get back into basketball. I had a shot and I blew it." Sure, before Christmas Nathan had been all for the idea of getting a nanny to give him time to work on his basketball and Haley time to take on the job at the high school, but he'd been thinking about it a lot lately. He was getting older, and the chances of getting back into the NBA were starting to slip further away.

"Don't talk like that Nate." Haley said softly shaking her head. "You need to have faith in yourself. If you don't you aren't going to have the will to play. And without the will to play no one is going to see that you love the game as much as you do. No one will be able to see the abilities you have. You're a great player Nathan. You can't let what happened stop you now."

The two looked at each other silently for a moment. Nathan knew Haley was right. He felt like a failure- there was no way around that. He might not have said it out loud to anyone yet, but it was how he felt about all of this. He'd made a stupid move and gotten himself hurt. He lost his spot on the team, and ended up a drunken mess for awhile. The way Nathan saw it, he let down his family, and he didn't know if he could go through with that again. "I don't know what I'd do without you Hales."

Haley smiled at him. "I don't know either. You'd probably still be an ass, sleeping with random chicks, and wishing your half brother was dead." She joked. "And you wouldn't have Jamie." Haley gave him another quick kiss before getting off of the bed. "Now, hurry up. If you're not downstairs in five minutes I'm going to let Jamie finish your breakfast and you'll have to make something for yourself."

"I'll be down in a bit." Nathan smiled at her. He watched as his wife left the room before he pushed himself to get out of bed. Even though Haley had some weird way of putting positive thoughts into his head, he still found doubt there. Nathan wanted to get back into the game, but he knew he had to think of back up options. He quickly changed before heading downstairs to his family.

"Morning daddy!" Jamie grinned from where he sat at the table with a fork in his hand.

"Morning Jim Jam." Nathan replied as he moved closer to him. He ruffled his son's hair before giving Haley a quick kiss and sitting down at the table. This was why he'd forced himself to put down the bottle and get his sorry ass off of the couch. His family was the reason he was going to do the best he can to get back into the NBA. They were the reason that he was going to make sure he had some sort of backup plan.

_Breathe in, breathe out  
__Tell me all of your doubt  
__And everybody bleeds this way  
__Just the same_

Rachel stood there looking at Owen's apartment door. Even though Brooke had offered her a place to stay last night, she'd ended up going to the hotel to stay with Julian. She felt bad about it, but she knew that Brooke would try to get her to talk and she still didn't feel like it. Julian had dropped her off here. He'd offered to come up with her, but she'd sent him away. She needed to do this alone. Her hand shook slightly as she lifted her fist up to knock on the door. Rachel was nervous to see her own son, and she hated that because she shouldn't feel that way and she knew it.

She took a small breath as she waited, glancing around the hall. The only real thought running through her head right now was: what if Jayden didn't forgive her this time? It seemed to take an entire lifetime for Owen to open the apartment door. When he was finally standing in front of her, Rachel smiled slightly. "Hey."

Owen nodded at her in greeting. "Jayden's in his room." He stated before stepping back and pulling the door open further to allow her entrance.

"Okay." Rachel said softly moving past Owen. She didn't waste time making her way towards Jayden's bedroom. As nervous as she was about her son not wanting anything to do with her, she had to get this over with. She took a small breathe before pushing the bedroom door open slightly. Rachel smiled to herself at the site of her son, pushing a small toy car around the room. "You get that car for Christmas baby boy?"

She watched as her son looked up at her. He looked confused for a moment. But, that confusion was soon replaced by excitement. "Mommy!" Jayden grinned as he jumped up and ran towards her.

Rachel smiled as she dropped to her knees and held her arms open for her son to run into. She could already feel the tears stinging at her eyes. "I missed you Jayden. I missed you so much." Rachel said softly, closing her eyes as her son's small arms wrapped around her neck. She held the three-year-old close. Why had she let herself keep her distance? Why had she let herself become such a bad mother?

"I missed you too mommy." Jayden pulled back a small bit so that he could look at her. "Why did you go for so long?"

Rachel looked at her son silently for a moment as she tried to think of something to say. It wasn't like she could tell the truth. '_Mommy was upset and instead of coming back to you she got drunk and high with people that were bad influences and she made very bad decisions._' Yeah, something about that just wasn't right to tell her three-year-old son. "Mommy was... sick..." Rachel trailed off. In a way it was the truth, wasn't it? "I didn't want to make you or daddy or anyone else sick so I stayed away for awhile, but it won't happen again baby, I promise." She smiled at him. "And do you know why?"

"'Cause you love me?" Jayden grinned at her and she found herself blinking back tears as she grinned back at him.

"That's exactly it Jay." She said softly. "I'm going to stay in Tree Hill as long as I possibly can, and you and me are going to spend lots of time together, okay?"

"Okay mommy." Jayden replied hugging her tight again. "I love you."

"I love you too Jayden. What do you say you and I go watch some cartoons?" Rachel questioned. This had gone so much better than she had thought it was, and she couldn't help but be thankful for that. She could only hope that the conversations she was going to have with Brooke, and no doubt Owen would go as well as this. Of course, Jayden was three, things were easy when you were three. Brooke and Owen were both way older than that and the things Rachel had to talk to them about were vastly different. Rachel wasn't even sure why she was thinking about talking to Owen about the things she'd done in New York, but she felt like she had to.

"Can we watch Spongebob?"

"If it's on, of course we can." Rachel smiled as she stood up, Jayden in her arms. Everything felt like it was going to be okay right now, at least when it came to her son. She hated that she'd been so neglectful since he'd told her that he hated her. Rachel had known full well that he hadn't meant what he said, he'd just been angry with her at that point in time. But, everything had seemed to pile up and she just lost it. Rachel couldn't let it happen again.

She turned only to see Owen standing at the bedroom door. Their eyes locked for a moment before Rachel moved past him and into the small living room. She sat down on the couch with Jayden placed comfortably on her lap. As Rachel picked up the remote from the spot beside her Jayden looked over at Owen. "Daddy come watch cartoons with us!"

Rachel froze. It was weird being in Owen's apartment and seeing him for more than a couple minutes. She was definitely going to feel even more awkward about Owen sitting close to her while they watched cartoons with their son. But, Rachel would suck it up for Jayden.

"Sure buddy." Owen smiled as he made his way over, collapsing on the couch beside Rachel. She took a small breath and focused on the television as she flipped through the channels. If she ignored Owen's rather close presence things would be fine.

"Doesn't look like Spongebob is on Jay, any other shows you wanna watch?" Rachel questioned, glancing down at Jayden.

Jayden was quiet for a couple minutes as he thought it over. "Just put it on the cartoon channel." He replied as he leaned back against her.

Rachel smiled and changed the channel before she put down the remote. She tried to focus on the television but she kept looking at Owen in the corner of her eye. There was a part of her that felt awkward, but there was another part of her that just felt- right. This was how it was supposed to be- Jayden, Owen and herself spending time together as a family. She wished so badly that she could go back in time and keep herself from cheating. But, what happened happened and now she had to live with her mistakes. If only she could wish them away. She settled back against the couch cushion as she tried the push the slight awkwardness out of her mind.

_Breathe in, breathe out  
__Move on and break down  
__If everyone goes away  
__I would stay_

Brooke smiled as her latte was handed to her. She popped the lid on it and turned to leave. But, a voice caused her to pause. "Brooke, right?"

She turned to look to her right, a smile came to her lips when she saw Julian. Last night they hadn't gotten much of a chance to talk. After Rachel and Owen had talked, her friend had seemed to do her best making a quick exit, dragging Julian with her. When Brooke had told her to come over and that she had a room for her to stay in, Rachel just shook her head before leaving. "You'd be right, Julian, already out and about for the day?"

"I drove Rachel to Owen's place." Julian replied before he put a lid on his chai tea latte He wasn't a big fan of coffee, but he did like the environment of cafes. It was why he hung out in them so often, drinking chai tea lattes or hot chocolate. "And what are you up to Brooke?"

"On my way to Clothes over Bros. Construction starts up again today and someone's got to be around to supervise." Brooke shrugged. She just felt a need to keep herself busy in all honesty. Even though Rachel was in town, she couldn't help but worry about her friend. Rachel clearly didn't want to talk about things, but Brooke felt a need to. She needed to know that Rachel really was okay. "Gotta make sure they're not sitting around gossiping while they should be painting or hammering or something."

Julian laughed. "You've got a very good point there. Don't want to have to pay them for doing nothing, right?"

"Exactly!" Brooke grinned. "I know I said this last night, but, thank you for getting Rachel to come back to Tree Hill. Jayden really needs her around."

"Rae needed to come back, and she knows it, even if she doesn't want to admit it." Julian sighed. He wanted to be with her right now, just to make sure things ran smoothly but she wouldn't let him which was why he was at this random cafe right now.

A silence settled between the two for a moment. "Julian, be honest with me, how is Rachel really doing? What's been going on with her?"

"That's not really my place to say Brooke." Julian replied. He sighed and looked at her. "I know Rae seems to be upfront and unwilling to hold anything back, but when it comes to her own issues, she's not one to talk. She's never been a fan of sharing her problems and she's always been fine with people thinking whatever they want to about her. She'll talk to you when she feels ready."

"And what if she never does?" Brooke shook her head. "Sorry, I'm just frustrated right now. My mom fires her and she just shuts me out, and yes, I know there are other things going on, but... I feel guilty."

"Rachel doesn't blame you Brooke, so don't beat yourself up about it, alright? That's going to do no one any good." Julian stated. "Rae's going to hate me for saying anything, she was almost ready to kill me when she found out I answered her phone..." He trailed off for a moment as he pondered his options. Julian glanced around before continuing. "Is there somewhere else we can go to talk about this?"

Brooke nodded. "Yeah, we can go to my store. The back office is done, no one will bother us there." Julian was making the brunette nervous. She wasn't really sure what to think right now. The way Julian was talking made it seem like something had happened to Rachel. "It's not far from here." Julian nodded. Brooke smiled slightly before turning and heading for the door with Julian close behind.

_We push and pull  
__And I fall down sometimes  
__And I'm not letting go  
__You hold the other line_

Lindsey took a small breathe as she looked at Lucas' front door. She'd finally worked up the courage to get here and talk to him, but now she was having second thoughts. She didn't know how she wanted to say what she did. She didn't know what would come from this conversation. It could either make them stronger, or lead to a breakup. She took another small breathe before lifting up her fist and knocking on the door. Lindsey knew that she could have just walked in, but there was something that was keeping her from doing it. Maybe it was fear of what she'd see. Even though she knew that she could trust Lucas, there was this part of her that was afraid that he would be in there with Peyton, or maybe even Brooke, forgetting all about her.

She could hear rustling on the other side of the door, before it opened. Lucas stood there as slightly shocked look on his face. "Lindsey," he said softly as he looked at her.

"Hi, Luke." Lindsey replied, suddenly unable to remember why exactly she'd come here in the first place. Right. The kiss him and Peyton shared. "Can we talk?"

"Of course, come in." Lucas said as he stepped back and pulled the door open further. "You know you didn't have to knock right?"

"I know," Lindsey nodded. "I just felt like I should knock..." She trailed off as she moved into the house. It felt awkward, of course she might be the only one out of the two of them that felt that way right about now and she really wished that wasn't the case. She didn't want to feel awkward about this right now.

Lucas just nodded as he closed the door behind her. "Can I get you anything to eat or drink?"

"No, I'm fine. I just want to talk." She said, walking into the living room. Lindsey took a small breath before sitting down on the couch. Her gaze moved to Lucas and she watched as he came to sit down beside her. Things were awkward. At least things felt awkward to Lindsey.

Before she could say anything else, Lucas was talking. "Lindsey, you have to believe me when I say the kiss between Peyton and I meant nothing. She kissed me, and I'm sorry that I didn't tell you when it happened. I just didn't know how you would take it. I probably should have left it be and not said anything about it, but when I looked at you I felt so much guilt..."

"Lucas...I'm glad you told me." She said softly. "It was just... it was hard to listen to." Lindsey bit her lip as she looked up at him. There were a lot of things she wanted to say to him right now, but she didn't know how. Actually, it wasn't that she didn't know how, she just didn't want to say it all because she was afraid of how it would sound to him. "When you told me Peyton kissed you all I could think of was your book..." Lindsey trailed off looking away from Lucas and down at her hands. "I mean, you and Peyton kissed on two separate occasions and both led to you and Brooke breaking up. Can you blame me for thinking that it was going to happen to me too?"

"I don't blame you, but Lindsey you have to understand, things are different now. That was in high school."

"High school doesn't ever truly end, Lucas. Everyone just gets older, and everything seems to get a lot more complicated."

Lucas sighed as he looked Lindsey in the eyes. "You have to trust me Lindsey. I don't love Peyton, not the way I use to. She's a friend, nothing more. It's you I love."

"I want to be able to trust you when you say that Luke, I really do. It's just hard." Lindsey stated. It was hard knowing that two of his ex-girlfriends that he had clearly loved in the past, and could still possibly love now, were around. "You loved Peyton and Brooke. It was made clear in your book. I knew it when I read the book, and I still let myself fall for you. I'm just scared that this could end badly for me. That something's going to happen, and you're going to leave me for one of your exes."

"That's not going to happen Linds."

As Lindsey sat there and looked at him silently for a moment, she got a feeling that that wasn't really the case. He couldn't know that for sure. Something could happen that would change his mind. Something could happen that would bring back his feelings for either Peyton or Brooke, and Lindsey would find herself heartbroken. This is what brought her to her next decision. She hadn't been planning on it when she'd first knocked on the door. But now? Now it felt like her only option even if she still felt the same heartbreak. At least if she ended things before he did, she had some control over it, right? "Lucas, I... I love you. I just... I can't keep living like this. I can't sit here and think about how you could possibly leave me for one of your ex-girlfriends. It's becoming clear to me that it might be the best idea to go back to New York. We need... we need some space. If things are meant to be, we'll end up back together..."

"You're... breaking up with me..." Lucas trailed off.

Lindsey nodded as she took a small breath. "I'm sorry Luke. I just think it'll be for the best right now. I think it's what we need."

Lucas looked at her, and Lindsey swallowed the lump forming in her throat. "I... um... should get going. I'll get Haley to send me the rest of the stuff I have here." She said before getting up from the couch and making a quick exit. Lindsey moved through the living room and towards the door, slipping out before Lucas got the chance to stop her. The tears burned at her eyes as she made her way towards her car. It hurt to break up with him, it did. But, it had to be done. She needed to do it to stop living with that fear of being cheated on, or tossed to the side. If her and Lucas were in fact meant to be together, something would happen to bring them back together. And, if nothing happened, then she'd get over it. It wasn't like this was her first heartbreak.

'_Cause there is a light  
__In your eyes, in your eyes_

Owen watched Rachel and Jayden from the corner of his eye. He wanted to talk to Rachel. He needed to talk to Rachel . It was going to have to wait until his mother came to get Jayden, though he had a feeling that was going to be difficult. Jayden wasn't going to want to leave Rachel and when he was convinced to, Rachel would probably take off right away.

"Mommy, are you going to leave again?" Jayden's voice pulled Owen from his thoughts. He honestly had the same question on his mind.

"No, baby, not this time." Rachel said softly. "I'm going to stay here in Tree Hill and see you as much as I can."

"You don't have to go back for work?"  
Rachel was quiet for a moment before she answered. "No, I don't have to go back for work. Mommy's gonna find a job here in Tree Hill so she can stay close to you. Sound like a good plan to you buddy?"

"I think it sounds really good!" Jayden exclaimed before there was a knock on the door.

Owen pushed himself up from the couch, and made his way over to the door. He smiled at his mom. "Hey mom, we're just watching tv." He said as he pulled the door open further to let her in.

"Does that mean he's not ready to go?"

"Yeah... I kind of lost track of time."

"That'd be my fault." Rachel said as she moved up behind Owen, Jayden in her arms. "I'm sorry Mrs. Morello, I got back to town late last night and I just wanted to spend a bit of time with Jayden..."

One thing Owen knew was that Rachel was intimidated by his mother. More so then she was intimidated by Victoria it seemed. And maybe that was because his mother was the opposite of hers. While hers never seemed to care about what was going on, his mother tried to make herself useful. His mother loved being around family and it seemed like Rachel's could care less. His mother loved Rachel, he knew that sometimes it was hard to believe but his mother was a firm believer in tough love, except for when it came to Jayden. It was like Jayden got a free pass with almost everyone. It was probably because of those puppy dog eyes he loved to use so much to get his way.

Owen watched as his mother looked towards Rachel, and he could see how uncomfortable she was under his mother's gaze. "It's alright Rachel. But, you need to stop doing this. You're a mother now, disappearing and reappearing weeks later isn't right. And it definitely isn't fair to Jayden."

"Mom." Owen sighed as he looked at her. He knew Rachel needed to hear it, but Rachel was currently holding Jayden, and he didn't want his son around that.

His mother sighed and shook her head a little before looking at Rachel. "You need to wise- up missy, understand?"

"Yes ma'am. That's exactly what I plan on doing, trust me." Rachel nodded as she looked at Owen's mother.

Nodding, his mother turned her gaze to Jayden. "Ready to go to the park with me Jayden?"

Jayden seemed to ponder the idea. He looked between Rachel and Owen's mother. "I wanna stay with mommy." He stated after a moment.

Owen saw a small smile come to Rachel's lips. "Jay, baby," Rachel started looking down at the three-year-old boy in her arms. "You had plans with your grandma first, you gotta go to the park with her. And, I promise we'll spend time together."

"Your mom will be here when you get back, buddy." Owen spoke up.

"She will?" Jayden's eyes seemed to light up at the thought of it.

"I will?" Rachel questioned, turning to look at Owen with a raised eyebrow.

Owen nodded as he moved past his mother to get Jayden's coat and shoes. "Yeah, so go have fun with your grandma buddy."

Rachel looked at Owen warily before kissing the top of Jayden's head and putting him down. "I'll see you later baby. You can tell me everything you and your grandma did when you get back."

"Kay mommy." Jayden grinned as he moved towards Owen to get his shoes and coat put on.

Owen pulled his son in for a hug and kissed his cheek once his shoes and coat were on. "Be good for your grandma, okay buddy?"

"I'm always good daddy." Jayden stated, his grin still in place as he pulled back from the hug. "Goodbye hug and kiss mommy." He stated as he turned to her.

Rachel smiled as she knelt down in front of Jayden. She pulled him into her arms and kissed his cheek. "I'll see you later baby boy." She said softly in his ear before standing up again.

Owen watched as his mother and Jayden left the apartment. He waited a couple minutes before turning to look at Rachel. "While we wait for them to get back, I thought we could talk."

"Talk? Haven't we done enough of that Owen?" Rachel questioned as she crossed her arms at her chest. "You've made it quite clear to me that you won't be able to forgive me. And I don't blame you. I screwed up big time. I might have been drunk, but that really gives me no excuse right?"

"Rachel, that's not what I want to talk about..."

"No. You want to talk about me being a bad mom, right?" She questioned, shaking her head. "Of course I do. We both know that you're the better parent here. You always will be. I'm unreliable. I'm self-centered. I'm a mess. Jayden would be better off without me in his life. And, if it wasn't for Julian, I probably wouldn't be standing here right now."

Owen looked at her for a moment, and he didn't see the person that had cheated on him. No, he saw the girl he'd known before that- the girl who let her tough exterior slip for a moment to expose her self-conscious side. It was a side Rachel barely ever showed, and when she did it made Owen love her even more because he felt like she was letting him in. He suddenly felt like he needed to kiss her, and hold her, and just be with her again.

Rachel looked at Owen's silence in a negative light. "You've got nothing to say, because you know I'm right." She mused, shaking her head. "I'm going to get out of here. I'll be back in a couple hours to see Jayden."

Before Rachel could move around him and to the door, Owen found himself taking a step towards her. His hands moved to Rachel's hips pulling her towards himself before his lips connected to hers. He felt her stiffen up slightly for a moment before she kissed him back. There was a part of Owen that was telling him that he shouldn't be doing this, but another part of him was saying it felt too good not to.

_Hold on and hold tight  
__From out of your sight  
__And everything keeps movin' on, movin' on_

Julian leaned back in the chair he was sitting in, glancing around Brooke's office. It was a nice place, and the rest of the store seemed to be coming along nicely. He sipped at his chai tea latte before turning his attention back to Brooke. He was still trying to figure out how much he should share now, and how much he should let Rachel tell the brunette. He knew he should shut up about it and let Rachel do all the talking when she was ready to, but he felt like he needed to let Brooke know what was going on with Rachel. It would be easier to help his friend if he had someone else on his side. "Rae's never been good with sharing and asking for help, but I'm sure you don't need me telling you that."

Brooke shook her head, deciding to stay quiet as she tried to figure out what exactly that had to do with everything.

"I think it's because she's afraid that people will look at her differently. Or that they won't help her." He had been lucky enough to see sides of Rachel not many had seen before, and he was pretty sure that Brook had been that lucky too.

"Where are you going with this Julian?" Brooke asked softly, clearly worried about their mutual friend.

"I want Rachel to talk to you about all this, but there's a part of me that knows she probably won't. She'll avoid it for as long as she can." Julian shook her head. Might as well just let Brooke in on what was going on. Though, he was sure she already has a vague idea. "When I found Rachel in New York she was pretty much passed out on a couch in the middle of a club. I got her back to your guys' place, and found a joint in her coat pocket." Julian sighed. "When I went to school with her, before she moved to Tree Hill, she was well into the party scene. There were countless times I got phone calls from her to pick her up. I know she was just as bad in Tree Hill, and for awhile after graduation. When she met Owen things seemed to be okay. When we talked on the phone she seemed a whole lot happier than I ever remember her being. "

Brooke smiled slightly. "He definitely changed her for the better."

Julian nodded. "I know you know how much of a wreck she was when Owen and Jayden came here to Tree Hill. And, I know that you are well aware of how much she started partying again. She doesn't deal with things well, and after getting fired by your mom and everything going on with her parents, Rachel just fell apart. I saw her in the club and it was like she wasn't herself anymore. She wasn't the girl I met in high school and she wasn't the happy mother. She was just lost, which is why I brought her back to Tree Hill. She needs you, Owen, and Jayden to get her off the path that she's clearly heading down."

Brooke was silent for a moment as she took in everything Julian was saying. "You're a good friend to her Julian. She's really lucky to have you."

"She's lucky to have you too. From everything she's told me, you're a pretty great person." Julian stated, and he meant it. He'd heard the story about how Rachel had gone after everything Brooke had, and how they'd been enemies. He'd heard how they'd become closer after Rachel offered Brooke a place to stay. Brooke and Rachel were a lot alike and yet very different at the same time. It was clear to Julian that Brooke was a good friend to Rachel, and he knew that he could count on her to help Rachel out.

_Hold on, hold tight  
__Make it through another night  
__And every day, there comes a song with the dawn_

* * *

_AN: I want to thank all of you for the reviews. The Lindsey/Lucas break up was in no way planned, it just kind of happened. I honestly had it planned for a few chapters in the future, but my fingers just kept typing. Same with the Rachel/Owen kiss. Anyway, hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Reviews are love._


	18. Breathe In, Breathe Out pt2

"_**We don't choose who we love...it just happens."  
**__**~ Haley James-Scott**_

Haley bit her lip. Nathan and herself had to sit down and interview a possible nanny in fifteen minutes but she had a feeling she was going to have to postpone. Her best friend was currently sitting in front of her and he looked like a wreck, not that she blamed him. She'd gotten a call from Lindsey saying that she was at the airport getting a ticket back to New York and that she would appreciate it if Haley sent her things up to her. Not long after that phone call, Lucas showed up at her door, and everything snapped into place.

She reached out and squeezed his hand. "I'm sorry Luke, things are going to be okay." It was becoming painstakingly clear that things would never change, high school would haunt them forever. Haley knew the breakup was because of Peyton. She loved the girl, but god, she needed to learn when to back off. If Lucas went down that downward spiral again, she wasn't going to be able to hold back when it came to Peyton. "I know right now, it doesn't feel like it, but it will be."

Lucas sighed and shook his head. "We've had this conversation before..."

"I know." Haley sighed. She forced a smile as she looked at Lucas. "Maybe it's for the best. Maybe you just need to prove to Lindsey that you don't want Peyton. You can take this time apart to show Lindsey that it's her you love."

Lucas nodded, and Haley could see the uncertainty on her friends face. She just wasn't sure if that uncertainty had to do with him and Lindsey getting back together, or his feelings about Lindsey. Haley decided not to question him about it- at least not right now. It was easier to leave it alone, and let Lucas tell her what he had to on his own time. She didn't want to push him right now.

Haley bit the corner of her lip as she continued to look at her best friend. A question was rolling around her head right now. One she didn't know if she should ask him right now. "Luke?" She asked after a moment.

"Yeah?"

"It's just you and me right now, so be honest with me okay Lucas."

"About what Hales?"

Haley sighed. "Is it really Lindsey that you love? Or did you just love the fact that you had someone again after Peyton said no to your proposal?"  
Lucas looked at her silently, and Haley prepared herself for an outburst. She prepared herself for Lucas to get angry at her, because if roles were reversed she would probably get angry at her best friend. Anger was a reasonable reaction to that question. But, Lucas surprised her when he finally did answer the question. "I don't know Hales... maybe..."

Maybe. The word echoed around Haley's head a few times. She really didn't know what to think about it. "It is either the case Luke, or it's not." She said softly with a small sigh. "Lindsey became a good friend of mine Luke, and you've been my best friend for a very long time, I just want to know the truth- what's really going on in that head of yours right now."

"That's the thing Hales... I don't know..."

"You don't know, or you don't want to know? Look, Luke, I'm not trying to be the bad guy right now by asking a bunch of questions. I get that right now you're hurting, but, you really need to think things over about all of this. You need to think about it before people get hurt more than they already are right now. You need to figure this out before _you_ get hurt more. You can't keep playing this love triangle game."

Lucas was silent, and Haley sighed. She hated trying to be the voice of reason, but she knew that someone had to be. Lucas was her best friend, and he always would be. The problem was when it came to the female population he always seemed to have problems. It was like he didn't think things fully through and needed help to rationalize. Brooke had gotten hurt. Peyton had too. And, now Lindsey had fallen into the same category. Of course, Lucas himself had been hurt a great deal by his own actions. This was why Haley sat by his side. She always would be. No matter how many times Lucas screwed up, she would be there for him, because everyone screwed up sometime in their life and they all needed someone.

Haley watched as Lucas suddenly stood up. "Where are you going, Luke?"

"I need to clear my head. I'll call you later." He said softly.

Haley fought the urge to call after him as he hurried out of her kitchen. She wanted to keep him there, try to help him think things through, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Lucas needed to think things through on his own. She couldn't sway his way of thinking, she had to bite her tongue for now. Hearing the front door open and close, Haley pushed herself away from the dinner table and headed out to the backyard where Nathan was with Jamie. She wished Lucas would just hurry up and figure out what his heart really wanted, because she was getting tired of seeing him end up so broken. She preferred the happy and carefree Lucas. The broody and depressed Lucas was... well... depressing.

_We push and pull  
__And I fall down sometimes  
__I'm not letting go  
__You hold the other line_

Rachel jerked back when reality finally hit her. "No." She took a step back shaking her head. This was exactly what she wanted, but it wasn't like her and Owen had been on the best of terms after Jayden's birthday. And, that little progress they had been able to make was probably gone when Rachel had decided to disappear off the face of the Earth- figuratively speaking of course. "You can't do that."

"I think I just did." Was Owen's reply earning him a small glare from Rachel.

"No. You can't be all unwilling to forgive me, and then turn around and kiss me. Things don't work like that."

Owen shook his head. "I had to shut you up somehow. This pity party of yours is getting old Rach. You're not a bad mother. You're not a bad person. You've just made some bad decision along the way." He paused seemingly to think over his next words. "The mistakes you made aren't permanent, they can be fixed and I know you know that."

Rachel looked at him silently for a moment. Her mind was still a little cloudy from the fact that he had kissed her. "You say that Owen, but do you realize how hard it is to fix things when forgiveness is so far out of reach? The biggest mistakes I have made and have to fix have to deal with you."

It had never been lost on Rachel what she had done. It had never been lost on her how much pain she had caused Owen and in turn their son. She had screwed up so majorly and she knew asking for forgiveness was stupid because she didn't deserve it. Owen deserved better than her- so did Jayden. It was a fact that she had come to terms with a long time ago. If she voiced that though, Rachel knew that there would be a few people who would disagree with her.

Owen sighed. "I know... I just... Rachel what you did... it hurt so bad. It still does. You cheated on me. It wasn't just some innocent drunken kiss. You got drunk and slept with some guy whose name I bet you don't even remember. The way I saw it, you forgot about me and Jayden and went to have fun with some random asshole."

Rachel bit her tongue. If only Owen knew that it wasn't some random asshole. Some things were probably better left unsaid. "Owen, I-" She sighed and shook her head. Closing her eyes she took a step away from him and took a deep breath. Rachel opened her eyes again and looked at him. "I can say I'm sorry until I'm blue in the face and for the rest of my life and it won't change what I did to you... what I did to Jayden. I screwed up again. It's the story of my life. You need to realize Owen, how incredibly sorry I am about it. Out of all the mistakes I have made in my life, it's the one I regret the most. It's the one that I wish I could go back and change. I haven't stopped loving you Owen, I never will. Jayden and you are the reasons I cleaned up my act. I _need_ you Owen. I _need_ you to try to forgive me." Rachel Gatina was begging. It wasn't something she normally did, because she felt like it made her look like an idiot, made her look like she was weak. But that kiss Owen had sprung on her made her feel like she had no other choice. That kiss had brought back way too many memories for her liking. It made her wish that she had done a lot of things differently in her life.

Owen was silent for a lot longer than Rachel would have liked. She bit the corner of her lip before taking away from him and making a move to head towards the door. She was going to take his silence as a 'I can't forgive you' and get out of here. After that kiss she just needed to get away, and try to forget about it all.

Rachel didn't get far before feeling Owen's hand on her arm, pulling her back. He moved her to stand in front of him, his brown eyes boring into hers. She looked up at him, and couldn't tear her eyes away. His lips were suddenly on hers again, and she wanted to scream as her eyes fluttered closed and she kissed him back. He couldn't keep doing this to her- it wasn't fair. It was just, torture. Her eyes remained closed as Owen pulled away, his forehead moving to rest against hers. "It still hurts Rach..." His voice was so soft, so unlike him.

It was her turn to remain silent. Rachel was afraid to move, afraid to say anything. She didn't want him to move away from her, but at the same time she did because having him so close was tearing her apart inside. You don't realize what you have until it's gone. That was what people said, right? She didn't really believe in that statement, not until her life got torn apart from a stupid decision and she found herself without Owen and Jayden.

"When no one could get a hold of you I was so... afraid." His voice was still soft and his forehead was still resting against hers. "Afraid that something bad happened to you. It made me realize that I can't keep doing this."

"Doing what?" Rachel asked softly as she opened her eyes and took a step back to look at him. She was afraid to hear the answer he would give her, but she wanted to know. She had to know what he was talking about right now.

"Pushing you away." Rachel bit her lip, her eyes staying glued to his. She wouldn't say he was pushing her away. No, to her he was doing what anyone would do- keeping himself safe from getting hurt again. She was the one who was pushing people away- she did disappear on everyone who remotely cared about her for awhile. "It's hard for me to forgive you, because I'm afraid that it's going to happen again. I'm afraid that I'm going to let you back in and you're going to tear my heart out and stomp on it right in front of me again."

"I understand your wariness. I do, Owen. You have to believe me when I say that I'm going to do everything I possibly can to gain back your trust. I'm going to do everything I can to prove to you that it won't happen again. Starting with no more going out and getting drunk." She said softly.

One of Owen's hands move to rest on her cheek, his thumb gently moving back and forth against her skin. "I want to be able to trust you again, Rachel." He paused. "It's going to take awhile though."

"I know." Rachel said softly. "But... we can try to go back to what we use to be. Can't we?"

Her answer was Owen leaning down and kissing her again. It was going to be a long road. And it was going to take a lot of work to get back to what they use to be- if it was even possible. Rachel knew she was the one who had the most work to do with this situation. She had to prove to Owen she could be trusted again. And she knew exactly where she had to start- the drugs and alcohol. She had to cut it out of her life. She had to cut the bad influences out of her life, namely Meredith. Rachel had to clean up her act and make sure she didn't stray from the game plan.

There was a voice in the back of Rachel's mind telling her that she couldn't do this- that she wouldn't last. But, she refused to listen. For her sanity she needed to piece her broken family back together. She loved Owen, she needed him. And, Jayden deserved to have a family that was better than hers had been. If she hadn't screwed up by sleeping with Cooper, Owen and herself would have still been together. There was no doubt in Rachel's mind about that.

Owen pulled back from the kiss and looked down at her again. "We're going to have to take things really slow..."

"Slow." Rachel nodded. "I can deal with that." She said softly. Even if Owen hadn't said they had to take things slow, she would have expected it. She'd broken his heart by cheating on him and that was something that was hard to recover from. She needed time to prove to him that she wouldn't hurt him again. And, she needed time to get her act together again. "You have no idea how happy it makes me to know you're willing to give me another shot, Owen. I never thought it would be a possibility after the way I hurt you."

"Everyone deserves another chance. Just...don't make me an idiot Rachel. Don't make me regret it." She could see the fear in his eyes, and it broke her heart because she knew that was her fault. She knew his uneasiness to trust was because of her.

"I won't. I promise, Owen." If she did, Rachel knew she would never be able to forgive herself. Owen was giving her another chance and if she screwed that up she wouldn't be allowed to ask for forgiveness from him again. If she hurt him again... she wouldn't expect sympathy from anything. No, instead she would expect hate and anger from everyone. That would be all she deserved.

'_Cause there is a light  
__In your eyes, in your eyes  
__There is a light  
__In your eyes, in your eyes_

Peyton had been hiding out the past few days, aside from stopping by Haley's place. She had been trying to figure out what exactly she was going to do with her life. She had been trying to figure out how she was going to move on. She was trying to figure out how she was going to get things to start looking up again. A knock on her bedroom door pulled her out of her thoughts. "Yeah?"

"We need to talk P. Sawyer." Brooke didn't sound all too happy right now, it made her nervous about opening the door. She knew though that if she didn't Brooke would have no problem knocking down the door. Peyton had learnt to never underestimate her best friend- especially when she was angry.

"I'll be out in a second." Peyton sighed, and ran a hand along her face. Something told her this was going to be a long conversation, and there was a part of her that felt like she knew what it was going to be about. The fact that Brooke and Lucas talked a great deal wasn't lost on Peyton. She pushed herself up and got off of the bed. She slipped out of her bedroom door and caught sight of Brooke heading into the living room. She silently followed, taking a moment to gather her thoughts before saying anything. "So, what do you want to talk about Brooke?"

Brooke turned to face her. "You kissed Lucas." She shook her head. "We're not in high school anymore Peyton, what were you thinking?"

"I needed to let him know that I still love him." Peyton just hoped Brooke would understand. She had to. She was her best friend after all, right? "He wasn't listening, so I just went for it."

"You really think that was the best answer? He is with someone Peyton! He told me what you did, and I've been trying to find time to talk to you, but when I'm home you're, who knows where." Brooke sighed, and Peyton could have sworn she saw a flash of pain in the brunette's eyes. "I know you still have feelings for him Peyton, but you said no. Expecting Lucas to just drop the life he has right now for you is ridiculous."

Peyton was silent for a moment as she studied her best friend. Brooke was picking sides at least that was how she felt right now. And, it hurt her that Brooke wasn't picking her side. "Brooke, he still loves me..."

"Has he told you that himself, Peyton? Lucas is happy with Lindsey. If you loved him, you would see that and leave him be." There was something in Brooke's voice, something that left Peyton thinking there was more to those words than Brooke was letting on right now.

"I don't believe this. I thought you'd understand."

"You thought that I'd understand? Peyton, you've done this to me twice!" Brooke's voice got a little louder. "What do you expect from me? I know how Lindsey is feeling right now. I know how much this is killing her inside and how much doubt it's putting in her head and heart. I love you P. Sawyer, I do. But it's hard to stand by you when your actions remind me of how much you hurt me!"

Peyton flinched as though she'd been slapped. Her eyes watered slightly and she shook her head. She couldn't think of anything to say right now. That had been in high school. She was older and wiser right now. Why was Brooke comparing this to what Peyton had done in high school. "I need some air." Peyton muttered, moving past Brooke and heading for the door. She slid on her shoes and grabbed her coat before slipping out the front door. Peyton needed to leave before she snapped at Brooke. Why couldn't her best friend stand by her?

She headed towards the Comet, which was parked in front of the house, as she slipped her coat on. Peyton slid a hand into her coat pocket and pulled out her car keys, before sliding into it. Where was she going? Peyton wasn't entirely sure. She was probably just going to end up driving around for a bit until she could figure things out. Maybe she'd go to the rivercourt though. That was always a nice place to think, then again she'd probably run into Lucas and she wasn't sure how well things would go if that happened. Yeah, she was probably just going to stick to driving around for now. It was probably the safest bet for her.

_Breathe in and breathe out  
__Breathe in and breathe out  
__Breathe in and breathe out  
__Breathe in and breathe out_

Brooke ran a hand down her face as she sat back on the couch. A bottle of wine sat open, though she had barely touched it. Her class was still pretty much fool, and she was beginning to think she shouldn't have bothered to open it. She was feeling guilty for the way she had treated Peyton. But, she hadn't been able to help it. As soon as her friend had been standing in front of her she lost it. Her thoughts had kept going back to high school and the way she had felt when she'd caught Peyton and Lucas together. And then all she could think about was how she had felt when Peyton told her she had feelings for Lucas the night before Nathan and Haley's wedding.

It had hurt so badly. They might have mended that bridge awhile ago, but that didn't mean the pain wasn't still there somewhere. Talking to Lucas had brought it back to the surface. She just hoped that Lindsey and Lucas would work things out (of course she didn't know that Lindsey had in fact broken up with the broody blonde). Lucas deserved to be happy. That was all she wanted for him. She loved him far too much to do what Peyton had done. It was just cruel.

The sound of the front door opening caused Brooke to pause. Had Peyton finally returned? It felt like her blonde friend had been gone for hours. "Well, isn't this a cute place." That definitely wasn't Peyton.

Brooke put her wine glass down on the coffee table beside the bottle of wine and slowly stood up. "What are you doing here?" She questioned as her gaze locked on her mother. Her mother had picked the worst possible time to randomly show up in Tree Hill. Brooke was already in a bad mood, and she knew her mother was going to make it worse. It was what her mother did best after all.

"When you stupidly charge a house to the company, we need to confirm the address for our records. Need to make sure someone hasn't hacked the account. Now, vacation's over, it's time to get back to work. I've given you plenty of time to get things together and return to New York." Her mother stated, her gaze moving around the room briefly before settling on her.

Her mother did have a point. She had given her plenty of time. Brooke had honestly been expecting her mother to show up a month ago, but she hadn't. And the few conversations the two of them had had on the phone (mostly involving Rachel being fired) her mother hadn't commented on the fact she hadn't returned yet. "Forget it, I'm staying here."

"Stop being a spoiled brat." Brooke wanted to slap her mother at the moment. How the hell was she being a spoiled brat? "There's a flight in a few hours, I will be on it, and you will be in the seat next to me." Her mother continued on, and Brooke just wanted to laugh at her. Like that was going to happen.

"As I already said, I'm staying here."

"Brooke!"

Did her mother really think raising her voice with her was going to make her change her mind? Yeah right, two could play at that game. "Mother!"

Victoria picked up the wine bottle sitting on the coffee table and placed the ticket she had been holding under it. "I will see you on the plane, my dutiful daughter." She said before turning around and heading for the door. Brooke stared after her. Was she serious?

As soon as Brooke heard the front door close, she moved the wine bottle off of the ticket and picked it up. She walked into the kitchen as she ripped up the plane ticket her mother had left her. Brooke lifted the garbage can lid up and tossed the pieces inside of it. She was sick of this. She was sick of her mother thinking she had so much control over her. Maybe it was her fault for giving her mother so much control in the beginning, but it was over now. Brooke was no longer going to take it. Her mother had crossed a line when she decided to fire Rachel. There was no way Brooke was backing down from what she wanted to do with her life and company. Her mother was going to have to deal with it.

Brooke moved back into the living room and took up her spot on the couch again. She picked up her glass of wine, and finished off what was in it. With a sigh she filled the glass back up and leaned against the couch cushions. Alcohol wasn't the answer to anything, but right now she just needed to attempt to clear her head. Okay, not really clear her head but just forget about things. She wanted to forget the pain Peyton's actions had stirred up. She wanted to forget the anger at Peyton. She wanted to forget the anger at her mother. And, she wanted to forget her worry for Rachel.

She brought the glass of wine to her lips and took another sip. Brooke would deal with everything in the morning. For now, she was going to take a break from life with a bottle of wine and some crappy television. That sounded good right about now. Brooke picked up the remote from the couch and started to flip through the television stations as she curled her legs up on the couch and pulled the throw blanket over herself. Whenever Peyton got back she would just leave her be. That was what she hoped her mother would do when she realized that she wasn't coming to the airport. It wasn't like she was standing her mother up right now. She had told her that she wasn't going back to New York, at least not right now. Brooke had other things to do, like make sure her friends were alright and get the Clothes over Bros location here in Tree Hill up and running.

_Look left, look right  
__To the moon in the night  
__And everything under the stars  
__Is in your arms_

Nathan kissed the top of Haley's head. "Luke's going to be fine Hales." He whispered softly in her ear. They were currently sitting on the couch with Jamie watching Transformers, a movie that Jamie had picked out. It had been a long day today. They'd had some interviews with possible nannies and they'd looked into a few more possible places to go on vacation. Of course, on top of that Haley had dealt with Lucas' current break up. Part of Nathan had seen it coming, especially with the return of Peyton and Brooke.

"I know." She said softly, her head resting on his shoulder as she focused on the movie. "I just can't help but worry about him."

"Worry about who?" Jamie questioned from where he sat on the couch, glancing over at his parents.

"Your Uncle Lucas." Nathan replied. "He's a trouble maker." He didn't want to lie to his son, but he also didn't see the point in giving him the full details about what was going on. Some things were better left unknown.

"'Cause of Aunt Lindsey?" Jamie questioned.

Haley glanced at Nathan before looking over at Jamie. "Why do you think that buddy?"

Jamie shrugged. "'Cause she was staying with us and then she left... is she back at Uncle Luke's?"

"No, bud, she went back to New York for work." Haley replied softly, and Nathan knew she was trying to figure out what exactly to tell Jamie. Nathan himself was doing the exact same thing right now. Jamie was a smart kid, smarter than anyone ever gave him credit four. Sometimes it was hard to believe he was only four-years-old.

"Oh. When is she coming back?" It was clear that Jamie's interest in the movie was now gone.

Another look passed between Haley and Nathan, silently trying to figure out what to tell their son. There was no point in keeping it from him, he would find out eventually. Lucas was a wreck, and he'd be moping around for a great deal of time. Lindsey would be absent from their lives for awhile. Nathan couldn't see her leaving their lives for good. She'd become a small part of their family. She'd become good friends with Haley and Jamie loved her. Nathan knew Haley would stay in contact with Lindsey no matter how things ended up turning out. Haley might be Lucas' best friend but she didn't drop friends because of him. If she did, she might not be such good friends with Peyton and Brooke right now.

"You see Jim Jam," Nathan started, still trying to figure out how exactly he was going to explain this to Jamie. "Sometimes when people date like your Uncle Lucas and Aunt Lindsey were things don't work out so well..." It would be so much easier if Jamie didn't refer to Lindsey as an aunt. That fact made Nathan feel like he was talking about a divorce. "And they needed to take time apart to see if they want to spend the rest of their lives together..."

Jamie was silent as he thought over what his dad had told him. "Take time apart like Jayden's momma and daddy?" He questioned looking between their parents.

Nathan had to admit that was a really good question. "Kind of." Haley replied, biting the corner of her lip.

"Is she going to come back and visit... even if her and Uncle Lucas don't end up spending the rest of their lives together?" Jamie questioned.

"Of course she is, buddy." Haley smiled at him.

"Good. I like her." With that comment, Jamie turned his attention back to the movie. He seemed to be quite content with the way the conversation had gone. Nathan was glad that it had ended there and that Jamie was done with the questions. Sometimes they left both Nathan and Haley without knowing how exactly to answer things.

Another looked passed between himself and his wife, before they too turned their attention back to the movie they were watching. Nathan knew Haley had already talked to Lucas about figuring out who it was he wanted, and how he wanted things to play out. But, he wanted to talk to his big brother about it too. They weren't in high school anymore; they couldn't play the 'high school' games. They all needed to grow up. Lucas needed to really think about things- he needed to make up his mind. Maybe that was why he was having such a hard time writing this second book of his. He couldn't concentrate on his words because of his inner struggles with figuring out what exactly he wanted. Nathan was going to have to bring that thought up to his brother, tomorrow or whenever he got around to paying him a visit.

'_Cause there is a light  
__In your eyes, in your eyes  
__And there is a light  
__In your eyes, in your eyes_

Rachel bit her lip as she looked at the door in front of her. It was late and she knew it, which was why part of her just wanted to turn around right now and go back to Julian's hotel. But, she couldn't bring herself to leave. She had gotten this far, it was too late to turn around now. She needed to talk to Brooke she'd been avoiding it for awhile. She refused to talk to Brooke while she was hidden away in New York, and when Julian had brought her back to Tree Hill, she'd kept her only conversation with the brunette short. Their friendship had started out with hate for the most part. They were out to get each other, but soon Rachel caved. Brooke was a lot like her. They were both lost. They both had crappy family lives. She'd found someone who could understand what she was going through. It had led her to stop fighting, and strike up a friendship with the girl.

Now, Rachel was afraid of losing her. She was equally afraid of Brooke looking down at her. And she was afraid of Brooke being ashamed of her and her actions. She could deal with anger but she couldn't deal with disappointment, especially not when it came from Brooke, someone she considered to be her best friend. Brooke had become a constant for her, always being there for her. And, Rachel had tried to do the same for Brooke. But recent events had broken Rachel, and made her fear what others would think. It made her fear what Brooke would think.

She took a small breath and lifted her finger, pressing the button. She heard the door bell echo through the house and immediately felt bad. It was after midnight. If Brooke wasn't out on the town (not that there was an overly big night life in Tree Hill) she was probably passed out in bed, catching up on sleep. After a couple of minutes Rachel was about to turn around, but she heard the faint sounds of movement on the other side of the door. She bit her lip and another minute passed before the front door opened and her brunette friend filled the opening. "Rachel?"

"Sorry, I know it's kind of late..."

Brooke shook her head as she pulled the door open wider and stepped out of the way to let her in, turning on a light in the process. "Don't worry about it Rachel. I wasn't sleeping, busy thinking."

Rachel nodded as she moved into the house, glancing around. She knew how that went. Sometimes thoughts could be way too loud and annoyingly present. "The house is nice." She said softly. There was a part of Rachel that felt awkward being here, standing with Brooke, and she hated it. Brooke was her friend, and yes she had done wrong by her, but there was no reason for her to feel so awkward about it.

"Of course it is, I picked it out." Brooke grinned, obviously proud with her choice in a home, not that she shouldn't be proud about it. The place really did look great. "Come on, let's go sit down." Rachel nodded and followed her the short distance to the couch, her gaze sweeping around again. "Peyton's hiding out in her room, probably sleeping since it's almost one in the morning." Brooke stated as though she was reading Rachel's mind.

Rachel's gaze moved towards the wine bottle that was lying on its side on the coffee table, a wine class sitting beside it. "Had a little fun tonight?" She questioned looking at Brooke with a raised eyebrow.

"I got a visit from Victoria earlier."

"That would explain it." Rachel suddenly felt uneasy at the thought of Victoria being in Tree Hill. She had thought she'd be safe from that bitch here. "Where exactly is Bitchoria?"

Brooke shrugged as she leaned back and looked at Rachel. "Probably in New York, pissed off that I didn't show up at the airport." She shook her head before explaining further. "She showed up and told me that it was about time I left here and headed back to New York. She said 'the vacation is over' before giving me a plane ticket and telling me that she planned on seeing me on the plane."

"And, you stood her up; she's going to be pissed."

"Understatement of the year." Brooke laughed. "Let's just hope she doesn't turn around and come back."

Rachel nodded. She didn't want to run into Victoria anytime soon. She couldn't promise that she wouldn't hit the bitch. There was a lot of built up anger in her right now when it came to Victoria, and she was going to need to get it all out eventually.

A silence filled the living room, and Rachel bit her lip. She was trying to figure out how she wanted to say what she had to. "I'm sorry Brooke." That was the best way she could think of to start it. "About not calling you back and pushing everyone away. I just needed to think." And do various other things that she regretted a great deal right now.

"Don't Rach." Brooke said softly. She reached out and placed her hand on top of Rachel's giving it a small squeeze. "A lot of things were going on you needed to find an escape. It's okay. What matters is that you're here now."

Rachel shook her head, a small smile on her lips. "I don't deserve friends like you and Julian in my life. Just like I don't deserve Owen and Jayden in my life."

"Are you kidding me Rachel? Of course you do." Brooke smiled at her. "You deserve to be happy. And you deserve to have people who care about you in your life. You and I grew up with not such great parents, it's why we deserve to have great people in our lives."

Rachel went silent for a moment, and looked down at her hands; Brooke's was still resting on one of them. No matter what Brooke or anyone else said, Rachel would continue to think that she didn't deserve such great people around her- not with the things she had done. "Owen and I... we're... he's giving me another chance Brooke." She looked up to see her friend grinning at her.

"And that's good, right? You don't look so happy..."

She swallowed past the lump that was beginning to form in her throat. "What if I screw things up again Brooke? If I mess this up I wouldn't be able to live with myself. Hurting him again will kill me..."

Brooke squeezed her hand again. "You aren't going to screw up again Rachel. You know why? Because you know how much it hurt him, how much it hurt you the last time. We learn from our mistakes and make sure we don't go down the same path again. Things between you and Owen are going to be fine... is that where you were all day?"

Rachel nodded. "Yeah... I went to see Jayden and we all ended up watching cartoons until Owen's mom showed up to take Jayden to the park. I was going to leave and Owen and I started talking, and then Owen kissed me. We talked some more and he told me he was willing to try and giving me another chance..." She filled her friend in. "It wasn't long before Owen's mom brought Jayden back and the three of us had dinner and spent time as a family. It felt so good Brooke, to be just the three of us... no fighting..."

"See, that's another reason you aren't going to screw things up again Rachel. You know what it's like to not have them, and today showed you what you were missing out on because of the mistake you made. You guys are going to be fine."

Brooke sounded so sure of what she was saying, and Rachel wanted to believe her. But, there was still this part of her that didn't have any faith. There was this voice that was telling her it was only a matter of time that she broke Owen's heart again, or proved to him that she couldn't be trusted. And, Rachel was afraid that the result of that would be never getting to see Jayden again. "I'm scared to tell him about what went on with me in New York." She admitted quietly. Rachel felt tears suddenly stinging at the back of her eyes. "I'm scared it's going to make him change his mind..."

She could feel Brooke's eyes studying her as Rachel looked down avoiding eye contact with her. "Rach... what did go on with you in New York?" It was a question Rachel had known Brooke was going to ask as soon as she'd opened her mouth and commented about it. "Julian wasn't willing to tell me all too much about it..."

"I started spending more time with Meredith..." Rachel trailed off. Meredith was a good person, until she hit the party scene. At least that had been the case in the past. One thing Rachel had noticed about Meredith (at least during the short amount of time she had actually been sober) was that the blonde's drinking and drug habits had increased a great deal. She wasn't only using them at parties anymore. "... and less time taking care of myself." She took a small breath before continuing. "I just didn't care anymore Brooke. Forgetting about life was the only thing on my mind, and I was never sober enough to think about who I was hurting really. It was just party after party, doing things that I hadn't done since... before Owen and I got together. If Julian hadn't shown up at the club I was at with Meredith when he did... I don't think I'd be here." Rachel felt a tear slide down her cheek, and lifted a hand to wipe it away. "God, Brooke, I hate myself for letting it get so bad. I hate myself for forgetting about Jayden and just letting myself slip away from reality."

Brooke's arms wrapped around her and she felt her friend kiss the top of her head. "It's okay Rachel. You're home now. You're back with those who care about you. None of us are going to let you go down that path again. We are all going to be here for you." She said softly. "I will always be here for you. You've become one of my best friends Rachel. When you need to talk, I will be here to listen. Remember that, okay? No matter how bad you think you screwed up, I will be here."

Rachel just nodded in response, which prompted Brooke to say more. "You want Owen to trust you, than you've got to tell him things like this Rachel. He need to let him in, otherwise he's not going to let you in. So, you have to tell him, and if you want I will be right there with you, okay?"

"Okay." Rachel replied softly after a moment. "I don't know what I'd do without a friend like you, slut."

A small smile came to Brooke's lips as she hugged Rachel a little tighter. "You'd crash and burn, whore." She replied, pulling back to look at her. "Now, what do you say we get you settled in? I've got a room with your name on it. I'll call Julian and let him know you're crashing here."

Rachel nodded. "Okay." She forced a smile to her lips. "And, thank you, Brooke. Your friendship... it really means a lot to me."

"I know, Rach. Yours means a lot to me too."

Rachel was afraid a great deal. She wasn't one to ask for help, and she wasn't one to talk about her problems with others. It was just the way she had grown up. It was the way she had spent most of her life. Asking for help was hard, and people knowing she was 'weak' was even harder for her. She didn't like people seeing her as anything other than strong. Rachel had a reputation as being a bitch, and she didn't like faltering from it. Telling Brooke what she had had been hard for her. It was going to be even harder to talk to Owen about it. But, Brooke was right. If she wanted Owen to trust her again, she had to let him in.

_There is a light  
__In your eyes, in your eyes  
__There is a light  
__In your eyes, in your eyes_

_

* * *

_

**AN**: And, the award for worst updater in the world goes to.... me. I'm so sorry guys! I had half this chapter written and school go in the way of me updating it. And, today when I decided to work on it, I ended up deleting a great big chunk of what was already written, and just let my fingers do the typing. There are probably a lot of mistakes throughout the chapter because I didn't get to editing it. I just wanted to post it up for you guys, because I feel bad about it not getting done sooner, also the reason this chapter is a little longer than others have been. Also, the Brooke/Victoria scene used dialouge from the show. Future ones probably will too, 'cause I love their scenes together in season five. Same with season seven. The new Victoria entertains me to no end. Oh, and I gotta say congrats to Jensen Ackles and Danneel Harris on their engagement! I love them together! Thank you all my reviewers. Hope you guys are still with me. I love to know what you guys think and want to see!


	19. Be OK

"_**I believe in our lives we were all meant to do something. It does not matter when your success comes, success can come whenever you want it to."  
**__**~ Brooke Davis**_

Brooke quietly moved through her house. She hadn't heard movement in either Peyton or Rachel's rooms so she was trying to keep from making too much noise. Her mood was pretty decent considering the fact her mother had shown up here, and she'd yelled at Peyton who still had yet to talk to her. Maybe it was because Rachel had finally talked to her. It felt good to know that her friend trusted her enough to let her in. When it came to Rachel it could be increasingly hard to get her to open up even just a little bit. That was something Brooke knew she had in common with Rachel.

She was going to do her best to stay at her friend's side. She was going to do her best to make sure she could help out Rachel any way she could. Brooke wanted to fight her mother and get Rachel her job back, but there was something that was stopping her. Rachel was trying to get her family back, and if she became a model again, chances were it wouldn't happen. Rachel would be off in New York, LA, or wherever there was a fashion show or photoshoot. She wouldn't be with her family, and that made things difficult. Not to mention the lifestyle- it clearly wasn't something Rachel should be around. Brooke knew Meredith, she knew that she would start spending more time around Rachel if Rachel started modelling again. And, that was dangerous. As much as she hated to admit it, Brooke knew Meredith was a bad influence. The girl had changed a lot since the first time she had met her.

Heading into the kitchen, she checked on the coffee, happy to see that it was done. She grabbed herself a mug and filled it with coffee. As she sipped at the hot liquid, her gaze moved to look out the window. The view was one of the reasons she loved this place so much. Well, that, and the space the place had. It looked kind of small from the outside, but inside it was like there were rooms hidden away.

"Coffee." She smiled at the sound of Rachel's voice from behind her.

Brooke reached up to the cupboard above her and pulled down a mug for Rachel. She filled it up and held it out to her friend, her gaze still on the view outside.

"Thanks." She could almost hear the smile in her friend's voice.

"Someone is a whole lot happier this morning." Brooke smiled, as she finally turned to look at Rachel sipping at her coffee.

"It's a new day." Rachel smiled, though it didn't exactly reach her eyes. "New start. New me. I'm going to start turning my life around. I'm going to be a better friend and a better mom."

Brooke wanted to tell Rachel she had always been a good friend and a good mom, but she knew her friend would argue the point. So, for this morning she was just going to leave it. She didn't want to argue with Rachel. She didn't want to ruin her friend's seemingly good mood right now. "I was going to make some breakfast... anything in particular you want?"

"I would kill for some pancakes right now." Rachel replied as she moved to hop up on the counter.

The change in Rachel's mood worried Brooke a little. It was almost like Rachel was trying to make it seem like she was okay after last night. If you asked Brooke, Rachel was trying a little too hard. This chipper exterior just wasn't her. Yes, Brooke had seen Rachel happy and carefree. But, this was different. The Rachel in front of her was almost too much in a weird way. It just didn't fit the girl she knew."With chocolate chips?"

"Of course." Rachel said as she lifted her mug of coffee to her lips and sipped at it. "Wasn't that the first thing you managed to make without burning my house down?"

Brooke rolled her eyes. "I was never that bad."

"True." Rachel mused, her lips pursing. "You never really started any fires; you just made things that tasted like shit."

"You know, if you're going to bash my cooking, I won't make any pancakes for you." Brooke warned as she put her mug down on the counter and started to get the things she needed to actually make the breakfast of choice.

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry."

"You better be."

"Now, hurry up and get cookin'."

A silence filled the kitchen as Brooke went to work. The frying pan was out and heating up as she worked on mixing up the batter. Every so often she would glance at Rachel who was staring at a spot on the wall as she sipped her coffee. Brooke decided to leave things be, it looked like Rachel was thinking- about what she wasn't sure. Instead of talking and asking questions she focused on what she was doing.

It wasn't long before Brooke had two plates with five pancakes each sitting on the counter. "Kay slut, get off the counter and let's eat at the table."

Rachel rolled her eyes and hoped down. "Whatever you want, whore." She said as she filled her mug up with more coffee on her way to the table.

Brooke picked up the two plates, and carried them to the table. She placed one in front of Rachel and one in the spot across from her before turning back and getting a few various other things. After a couple of minutes she was finally settled in her seat and both Rachel and herself were digging into their breakfast. "What are your plans for today?" Brooke questioned as she looked up at her friend.

"I gotta go talk to Julian. Fill him in on things. Then I promised Jayden I'd take him to the mall." Rachel replied, a smile on her lips. "Owen's going to come too. What about you?"

"I'm going to be at Clothes over Bros, trying to get it ready for the big opening that's supposed to be next week."

"If you need help I can stop by." Rachel offered.

Brooke shook her head. "Maybe tomorrow. Spend time with your family today Rachel."

"If you're sure." Rachel shrugged.

"I am." Brooke smiled. Rachel working things out with Owen, and getting her family back to where it should be was what mattered the most. Brooke just wanted to see her friend happy again- and not that fake happiness she had seen since the break up. For Brooke, her happiness came from her friends being happy. Yes, that meant sacrificing her own happiness at times, but it was important for her to see those she cared about happy.

_I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok  
__I just want to be ok today  
__I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok  
__I just want to be ok today_

Peyton was avoiding Brooke. There was no denying that. She felt bad about it, she really did, but at the moment it was what she felt like she had to do. Brooke was right. Peyton had hurt her in the past a great deal because of her actions. There was this part of her that didn't know why Brooke had forgiven her, or why they were still friends. What Peyton had done to Brooke, was something that shouldn't be easily forgiven and she knew that. But, that was Brooke for you. She had a big heart, and she was willing to forgive people, especially those that she cared about. And that was why Peyton had expected Brooke to stand behind her on this one.

It was wrong and she knew that, but she needed someone to tell her that she was right and that things would work out. She needed someone to tell her that Lucas would forgive her and that they'd get back together. There was a small voice in the back of her head that was telling her she was wrong about this, but it was easier to look past that voice. It was easier to listen to the louder voice telling her she was right. Of course, the only reason behind that could be because she _wanted_ it to be easier. She _wanted_ to be right. She _wanted_ things to go her way.

She groaned and ran a hand down her face. What was wrong with her? Why did she have to listen to Brooke? Why did she have to come here to Tree Hill? Why did she have to quit her job? Why didn't she say yes to Lucas? God. When did life get so screwed up? This wasn't the way it was supposed to be. This wasn't the life she was supposed to have. Everything was wrong. Nothing was how she had seen it when she had graduated high school. Her final time in Tree Hill had been such good times. Was it wrong to want to be a teenager again? Things were so much easier back then. Her life was so much easier. Yes, she had done things that weren't so great in high school, but everyone did. Teenagers' doing stupid things was just to be expected wasn't it? It was like a rite of passage, right? Teenagers got away with a whole lot more. At least that was Peyton's view on it.

Peyton waited a little longer before rolling out of bed. Okay, she couldn't keep avoiding Brooke. Brooke had only been telling her the truth, she wasn't allowed to be angry. But, that didn't stop her from feeling it. She made her way towards her bedroom door, her hand resting on the doorknob. There was a part of her that really hoped Brooke had already left the house for the day. Taking a deep breath, Peyton turned the doorknob and stepped out of her bedroom.

"Brooke?" She called out as she moved further out of her room. Peyton glanced around, silence surrounding her. Brooke wasn't here. Either that or she was in her room and couldn't hear her. That was a possibility.

Peyton bit her lip and walked towards the kitchen. She glanced around again and spotted a piece of paper taped to the coffee machine. She made her way towards the coffee machine and picked up the piece of paper. '_At Clothes over Bros. We still need to talk, P. Sawyer_' was all it said. Peyton sighed and tossed the piece of paper onto the counter before going in search of something to eat. If Brooke wasn't around, it meant that she could avoid talking about all of this for at least a little while. It meant she could think about it all a bit more, not that she hadn't been doing that a great deal already. Lucas had to still love her. He just had to.

As soon as she started thinking of the possibility that Lucas didn't love her, Peyton changed her train of thought. She needed to figure out what she was going to do for a job. It wasn't like she could live off the money she had left in her bank account for long. And, she wasn't about to let Brooke keep paying for her. It might be easy to do so, since Brooke had become so successful over the four years since graduation, but that didn't mean Peyton didn't feel at least a little bit guilty about it.

_I just want to feel today, feel today, feel today  
__I just want to feel something today  
__I just want to feel today, feel today, feel today  
__I just want to feel something today_

Rachel sat with her back against the headboard of Julian's hotel room bed as she watched him closely. She'd just told him about what had gone down the day before between Owen and herself, and Julian looked like he was still processing everything. "You sure it's a good idea?" Julian questioned after what seemed like an eternity of silence.

"I do." She replied with a slightly raised eyebrow. She could have sworn this would be something he wanted to see happen. Julian had been one of the ones that had said Owen was good for her. He was the one who had brought her back to Tree Hill. "Why? You don't think it's a good idea?"

Julian sighed. "If it doesn't work out, I don't want to see you get hurt Rachel. After last time-"

"Last time was my fault Julian." She cut him off. "Last time I got drunk and slept with another guy. I hurt Owen, broke my family apart, and hurt myself in the process. It's my fault, not Owen's. The only way I'll end up hurt this time is if I screw up again." Her voice was soft. She knew it was the truth. She knew that if things didn't work out it would be on her. If things fell apart again, it would be her fault. Rachel needed a change of topic so she continued on. "I gave Brooke the short story about everything that happened in New York."

"Yeah, I know." Julian nodded as he sat down at the end of the bed.

"Right." Rachel shook her head. "She called you."

Julian raised an eyebrow as he looked at her. "Are you going to tell me why you're so unhappy at that thought, or are you going to make me guess?"

Rachel knew she was just being a big spoiled brat for thinking the things she was right now. There was this part of her that was scared that Brooke and Julian were going to get to know each other better and become good friends. Thus, forgetting all about her. There was also another part of her that felt like they were ganging up on her. She knew both of those parts were unreasonable. After all, neither Brooke nor Julian would turn their backs on their friends and Rachel knew that. Just like she knew they weren't ganging up on her. Brooke had told her she was going to call Julian the night before. This was why she lacked friends, she always seconded guessed motives, and she was always unwilling to trust and believe them.

"I'm not unhappy about it." Rachel replied with a shrug. "Sorry, if I sound that way."

Julian just looked at her, and Rachel knew he didn't believe her. Whatever. As long as he didn't push further things would be fine. They were both silent for a moment before Julian said, "I went through your stuff."

Rachel sat up a little straighter, her shoulders pulling back. "What?"

"I went through your stuff last night while you were at Brooke's." Julian sighed. "I was going to do it while you were with Jayden and Owen, but I kept telling myself I didn't have to."

Rachel shifted uncomfortably. She knew exactly what Julian was going to say. That was why she was going to have to speak first. She was going to have to beat him to it. "I know what you found Julian, and you have to believe me when I say I didn't plan on using it."

"I thought I wiped your supply out back in New York."

"You know me better than that Julian. You know when I put my mind to things I can be a really sneaky person."

"Yeah." Julian sighed, shaking his head. "That was the reason I decided to actually go through with looking through your things."

"You're disappointed, just say it. What do you expect from me Julian? You dragged me here from New York, and I was expecting to be confronted with the worse." She took a small breath before continuing. "I was just trying to prepare myself."

"Prepare yourself? Were you hoping to overdose if things got too tough? Were you hoping to end it all so you wouldn't have to deal with anything, anymore?"

She flinched at Julian's slightly raised voice, and Rachel hated the fact that he had gotten that type of reaction out of her. She hated Julian and Brooke for seeing this broken side of her. She didn't even understand why Julian was so willing to be her friend. When she'd moved to Tree Hill she had kind of dropped him, barely keeping in touch with him. The e-mails and phone calls only started to pick up when she'd graduated.

Rachel shook her head. "I would never want to do that Julian. I would never plan for something like that to happen."

"Of course not. But it could happen Rachel. I know you know that."

"Well, you don't have to worry about it now, right? I mean I'm sure you flushed it. Not to mention things aren't as bad as I thought they'd be." She looked at him, her eyes connecting with his. "I'm okay, Julian."

"I want to believe that Rachel, I do. But, it's still too soon for me to believe it. You're vulnerable right now, and things are going to be rocky because something could happen, and you'll want to go back to forgetting..."

"I know Julian... and that's why I've got you, right? You're my self-appointed protector." Rachel ran a hand down her face and sighed, before turning and pushing herself up from the bed. "Look, I have to go meet up with Owen and Jayden. We'll carry on this conversation later." She didn't give Julian a chance to convince her otherwise, she didn't want him to right now. Rachel grabbed her coat and purse and slipped out the hotel door. Julian was making a valid point about it all, she just didn't want to think about it all right now. No, right now she just wanted to go spend time with her son, and work on getting Owen to trust her again.

Rachel knew that coming back from where she had gone was going to take awhile, and that she might not completely recover. But, that wasn't exactly important to her right now. The way she saw it, she would be fine if she just stayed away from the drugs. And, she'd be fine if she stayed away from people like Meredith. Plus, she had people looking out for her. As much as she hated to admit it, as long as they were there for her, she could get through this. Rachel wasn't a fan of relying on people. She hadn't needed to do it in the past. Her parents had never been around, and she'd had basically no friends. Relying on people made her feel weak in a way. But, she had to do it.

_Open me up and you will see  
__I'm a gallery of broken hearts  
__I'm beyond repair, let me be  
__And give me back my broken parts_

Nathan shook his head at his brother. The two were sitting at the rickety old picnic table by the rivercourt. They had just played a round of basketball, and Nathan could really feel the burn in his muscles. It was a welcomed feeling, at least for him. It meant he was getting a work out, and using the muscles that had been out of use for awhile.

"Just say it Nathan, I know you want to." Lucas sighed, rubbing the back of his neck with a hand. Nathan knew he didn't really have to say anything about it. "Just tell me I screwed up big time, and get it over with. You're not the only one who has come to that conclusion, and I know you're not going to be the last. I really messed up. The story of my love life."

"Well, I don't really need to say it when you seem to have quite the handle on it yourself." Nathan mused.

"In my defence _Peyton_ kissed _me_."

"That doesn't make a difference to the females in your life Lucas." Nathan mused. "It's like the Brooke situation from high school all over again."

Lucas sighed again. "Please don't start with that Nathan. Haley has already done that."

"We just care, Luke."

"Who would have thought we'd get to this point. You know, you and me sitting here and talking civilly to each other."

Lucas change of subject was not lost on Nathan, but he decided to leave it alone for right now. "And who would have thought I'd be married to _your_ best friend with a four year old son."

Nathan watched as a small smile came to his brother's lips. "Things have definitely changed."

"I think that's part of getting older."

Lucas nodded and a silence fell between the two of them. There was more Nathan wanted to say about the breakup, but he figured he would just leave it for now. He knew Haley had already talked to him for awhile about it. "Do you ever wonder how things could have been different?" Lucas asked suddenly, it was an echo of a conversation he had had with Haley not too long ago.

"All the time." Nathan admitted with a shrug. "But, then I think of Haley and Jamie, and I find myself not really caring about what could have been. I'm happy. I've got a family that loves me, and will always be there for me. I don't want to think about what could have been, because what I have now is pretty great."

"I wish I could say the same." Lucas sighed.

Nathan turned his head and looked at Lucas. "Tell me big brother, what exactly about your life do you wish you could change?" He got the feeling he already knew the answer though. Lucas probably wished Peyton had said yes, or that he had stayed away from Peyton when she'd gotten to town. There was always the possibility Lucas would say he wished he would have never joined the team back in high school. There were endless possibilities going through Nathan's head as he waited for Lucas' answer. Of course what Lucas ended up saying wasn't something he had exactly expected. But, maybe he should have.

"Letting Brooke go." Lucas said softly, shaking his head.

It was weird to hear Lucas respond with it. Brooke and Lucas, the thought of them together hadn't crossed his mind since they broke up senior year. Maybe it was because Lucas had always been about Peyton after the breakup. He'd tried so hard to make that relationship work. Maybe Nathan should have seen past that. There was part of him wondering if Haley knew about this.

_I just want to know today, know today, know today  
__I just want to know something today  
__I just want to know today, know today, know today  
__Know that maybe I will be ok_

Haley smiled as she walked into the building that was once Karen's Cafe. It felt weird, but at the same time it was refreshing. She watched as Jamie ran off to look for Brooke in the mess of construction. "Be careful Jamie!" Haley called after her son. The place wasn't all too big, but she couldn't help but worry about him. Construction wasn't finished here yet, and as far as Haley was concerned that meant there were all sorts of dangers around.

She could hear her son's happy chatter as she turned and looked around. There were a few people working, and Haley felt like she should make herself useful. Didn't Brooke want to open up by next week? She would offer her free time, but school was starting up in a week, and she didn't think she'd be much help. Maybe she could convince Nathan to come down here and help out a bit. She was sure that he'd be alright with it. Okay, she would call him to talk to him about it on the way to the school. Haley had so much to get in order before the semester started. It felt weird- the fact that she would actually be teaching.

"So, teacher-mom, what do you think of the place so far?" Brooke's voice pulled Haley from her musings.

She turned and smiled at her friend. "I think it's coming together. Looks good so far."

Brooke sighed. "You don't have to lie to make me feel better, you know? I'm well aware the place looks like crap. It feels like it's not even close to being done."

"I'm sure it will all come together soon, Brooke."

"I hope so."

Haley smiled. "Thanks again for keeping an eye on Jamie for me today."

"Don't worry about it Haley."

"Where is my son, anyway?"

"Oh, I left him in my back office. It's pretty much the only room that's finished right now, and I don't know if I'll even end up using it all that much. It'll probably end up being mainly for storage." Brooke shrugged with a smile. "I was thinking of throwing a little party... before the party for the opening for the store."

Haley raised an eyebrow. She had a good feeling she knew where Brooke was going to go with this. "Oh yeah? What's the party for?"

"I was thinking it could be kind of a... 'Brooke-you're-awesome-we'll-help-with-setting-up'... type of party. It could be fun. Maybe it'll help Lindsey and Lucas work things out."

Haley paused at Brooke's last statement. Did that mean she didn't know? "Brooke... Lindsey broke up with Lucas."

The smile that had been on Brooke's lips disappeared. "Please tell me it wasn't because of Peyton." She said softly.

"I think it was the biggest factor in the decision." Haley sighed. Why couldn't all this drama have stayed in high school? Haley had been hoping that graduation would end the high school drama, but she had been proven wrong recently.

"How's Luke holding up?"

"As good as he can be." Haley replied. Lucas was broken up and confused and Haley didn't know how to help anymore. There was only so much she could do.

Brooke nodded. "I'll have to give him a call."

Haley didn't know whether or not that would be a good idea. Though, Brooke would at least be able to provide Lucas with some insight about how Lindsey was feeling right now. After all Brooke had been in Lindsey's place once upon a time. "Maybe getting him in here to help out will help keep his mind off of everything."

"I'm sure I could find him plenty of things to do to keep his mind off of the break up." Brooke smiled and shook her head. After a moment she spoke again. "I can't believe Peyton. I love her to pieces, but she lacks better judgement."

"She's just doing what she feels she has to." Haley sighed. "She still loves Lucas, she's trying to rectify a mistake she made in the past. Of course she's going about it the wrong way." She knew she sounded like she approved of what Peyton had done, but that really wasn't the case. Haley was pissed off. She was angry at Peyton for ruining Lucas' happiness. Right now she was just trying to justify Peyton's actions to herself. She was trying hard to make it seem right when it wasn't.

"She should have just been happy that he was happy." Brooke shook her head again. "I don't know what she was thinking. This isn't high school anymore, she's not going to get the same reaction she got from doing the same thing back then."

Haley nodded. Only time would tell how things would end up working out. She really hoped that Lucas would be alright, and that maybe, just maybe, Lindsey would change her mind. After Peyton had said no to Lucas, Lindsey had made him happy. She had pulled him out of his depression. Lindsey had been good for Lucas, and Haley still felt like she would be. "I don't know what she was thinking either. But, she did it and now Lucas is a mess. We just have to hope that things work out in the end."

"I hope it works out. " Brooke said softly. "Lucas deserves to be happy."

"So do you Brooke." Haley replied. She knew that she hadn't kept up with Brooke's life all that well. She considered Brooke one of her best friends, and she felt horrible for her negligence. Brooke was always doing her own thing, while Haley was off worrying about her family and trying to keep things under control. When they did talk, Haley always forgot to ask certain questions- questions that would give her some insight on how Brooke really was.

"I am happy, Hales. I'm back in Tree Hill, with my friends. I couldn't ask for much more."

Haley didn't know if she fully believed what Brooke was telling her, but she felt a need to leave it alone at least for now. There was this part of her that wasn't sure Brooke was truly happy. She was going to have to pay a bit more attention to her brunette friend. "I should get going, thanks again for watching Jamie for me."

"Anytime Haley. I love hanging out with Jamie. I've got a lot of missed time to catch up on with him. He is my godson after all." She paused. "Well, one of my godsons."

"I'll stop by here later this afternoon to get him."

"Sounds good to me. I promise not to load him up on too much sugar beforehand."

"You better not."

"Bye Haley."

"See you later Brooke." Haley smiled. "Bye Jamie! Be good for your aunt Brooke!" She called out to her son.

"I will!" Was the only response she got in return. Haley shook her head and turned, leaving what use to be Karen's Cafe. Things were changing- Tree Hill was changing. The people were definitely changing. She just wished all of the changes in life were good. Everyone had been through so much. Nathan and herself included. His accident last year, had led to him falling into a deep depression, that Haley didn't think he would be able to pull out of. But, he had, and things were finally starting to look up for them. She just hoped they would continue to get better.

_Open me up and you will see  
__I'm a gallery of broken hearts  
__I'm beyond repair, let me be  
__And give me back my broken parts_

Owen watched with a smile as Rachel inspected the toys on the shelf in front of her while Jayden pointed them out. He had never thought this would be something he'd see when he first met Rachel. Then again, there had been a lot of things he'd never expected would happen or that he would witness with Rachel. He had never expected himself to fall for Rachel as hard as he had. Just like he had never really thought they would have a kid together. And he never thought that Rachel would break his heart the way she had.

She had hurt him, but seeing her with Jayden it made him forget for a little while. It made him forget about the pain he had felt and remember the good times. Like when Rachel had moved into his apartment and when they had first brought Jayden home. Everyone deserved a second chance. That was what he had told Rachel, and he wanted it to be true. He wanted her to prove to him that she deserved it, because he still loved her. And, he still wanted this to work. He wanted their little family to work for both Jayden and himself.

"This is the toy you want?" Rachel's voice pulled him out of his thoughts. He glanced over at Jayden and watched as their son nodded in response. "You sure? 'Cause once I pay for this there's no changing your mind, babe. This is it."

"I'm sure mommy." Jayden replied with a grin. Owen still couldn't believe he was three years old already. Time passed by so quickly. "I'm not gonna change my mind."

Rachel looked at Jayden for a moment, lips pursed as she thought it over. "Alright, babe." She reached out and ruffled Jayden's hair. Her gaze moved towards Owen and she smiled at him.

He couldn't help but return the smile. Things were slowly falling into place, at least that was how he felt. Maybe the Rachel he had gotten to know, before she slept with another guy, would come back. There was still a voice in the back of his mind though, telling him that he couldn't trust her and that she was going to hurt him again. But, Owen was trying to ignore that voice, trying to tell himself that he didn't have to worry. He didn't want to have to worry.

"Mommy?"

"Yeah?"

Jayden looked up at her, with his head slightly tilted to the side. "Are you really gonna stop leaving?"

Owen watched as Rachel crouched down so that she was eye level with their son. He didn't blame the three-year-old for his constant need to make sure she was sticking around. Hell, Owen himself kept feeling the need to ask that question over and over again himself. "I'm not going anywhere, baby." She smiled at Jayden. "I meant it when I told you I'm getting a new job here so I can stay close to you. No more leaving."

"Good." Jayden grinned.

"Come on." Rachel picked Jayden up. "Let's go pay for your toy, and then daddy can buy us ice cream."

"I can do what now?"

"Buy ice cream." Jayden stated a grin still on his face

"And why am I the one buying it?"

Jayden looked at him. "'Cause you love us." It seemed to have become his favourite response for things in the past few weeks.

Rachel laughed and shook her head. "I so did not teach him that one."

This was nice. When he had found out Rachel was pregnant this was what he had seen in their future, not a break up and distance put between them. When they had started dated it had all been fun and games, and then Rachel ended up pregnant and things changed. They had grown even closer, and they were happy. But that had only lasted for so long. Now they were going to have to try to work back to that happiness. Owen wanted to believe that it would be easy but he knew that the truth of the matter was that it wouldn't be. It was going to be tough, but he was willing to fight, and he hoped Rachel would be too.

_Just give me back my pieces  
__Just give them back to me please  
__Just give me back my pieces  
__And let me hold my broken parts_

Lucas stared at his phone trying to decide what to do. He'd just got back to his place after his game of one on one with Nathan down at the Rivercourt. What he had said to Nathan was the truth. The biggest mistake he'd made was letting Brooke go and not fighting for her. When she had broken up with him, he'd just given up and turned to Peyton. Peyton- the girl he had thought he loved. Things were so complicated. He hated it. Why couldn't life be easier?

He sighed and dialled a familiar number. The silence that filled his house made him almost nervous as he waited for someone to answer. After the fourth ring there was finally a, "Hello?"  
"I didn't think you'd answer."

There was a pause for a moment, followed by a sigh. "I didn't check the call display."

"I just wanted to make sure that you made it back to New York in one piece."

"I should really go Lucas..."

"Wait, Lindsey." He sighed. "I'm sorry." He shook his head and looked up at his ceiling as he held the phone against his ear. "I'm sorry that things worked out like this. I'm sorry that things couldn't be better."

"Luke," Lindsey started. She was quiet for a moment before continuing on. "I love you. But, I really feel like this will be for the best. I keep telling myself that if Brooke and Peyton hadn't come back to Tree Hill you and I would still be together right now and things would be good. But, I get the feeling that this might just have been meant to be. I was a rebound Luke, and I know that. You needed someone after Peyton..."

"Lindsey-"

"No, Luke, we both know it's true. It just took me until Peyton kissed you to admit it." Lindsey sighed. "Like I told you before if you and I are meant to be we'll make our way back to each other, but for now this is how it needs to be. I'm sorry Luke."

"I wish it could have been different Lindsey."

"I do too. I should really get going. Bye Luke."

Lindsey hung up before Lucas could say goodbye. He hit end on his phone and tossed it on the couch beside him. This wasn't how things were suppose to be. This wasn't what he had seen for himself.

_I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok  
__I just want to be ok today  
__I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok  
__I just want to be ok today_

Brooke tilted her head to the side slightly as she watched the electrician work. This was supposed to be done two days ago. She felt like the world was jerking her around right now, keeping what she wanted far from her grasp. But, she was a fighter, and there was no way she'd let the world win right now. This was going to get done, and everything was going to run smoothly. The day was almost over, Nathan had picked up Jamie and she was here alone with the construction crew. She didn't plan on leaving until the electrician was at least done.

"You know, I don't get it." She whirled around on her heels when she heard her mother's voice. Why was she still in Tree Hill? Brooke had thought that her mother would have continued on her way back to New York when she hadn't shown up at the airport. "You disappeared from your work, your life, and your family for this? A half built shop, in a half dead town."

"Don't say that mother." Brooke replied. "Tree Hill is home."

Her mother shook her head. "I let you have your fun Brooke, now come on, we're heading back to New York tonight. I've had a buyer lined up for this place since you made the purchase."

Brooke's jaw clenched. Her mother really wanted to push her buttons didn't she? It was funny that she hadn't commented on knowing about the place last night. Though, maybe that shouldn't have surprised her. "I'm not going. I'm staying here."

"You're putting this company at risk with your foolishness Brooke."

"I'm not being foolish mother, this is going to work out, trust me." Brooke sighed, she knew there was no point reasoning with her mother, but she was going to try as hard as she could. "Look, for the last few years I have listened to what you've told me to do, but I need to do this. I need to see this plan through."

Her mother was quiet for a few minutes and it made Brooke nervous. It made it feel like her mother was judging her decisions and her abilities. She hated it. "If this is really what you want to do, I guess I can't fight you on it." She paused. "I have got to commend you though. I'm sure you've taken care of the catering, inventory and publicity for the opening of this place, whenever you plan on that being."

"Of course I have." Brooke smiled confidently. Though, she knew she hadn't quite gotten there yet. She'd been busy working about Rachel and getting the construction done on this place. But, she couldn't let her mother know that. No. Her mother would get too much joy out of that.

"Good." Her mother nodded. "I'll be looking forward to the opening then."

Brooke watched as her mother turned and walked out. That was too easy. Her mother had given up that battle far too easily, which left Brooke with an uneasy feeling. She moved over to the counter and pulled her cell phone out of her purse, dialling her assistant's number. Getting voicemail she sighed, "Hey Millicent, it's Brooke. Um, could you call me when you get this? It's important."

She ended the call and slipped her cell phone back into her purse. She could do this. She was determined now more than ever to prove to her mother she was capable of doing this. All that she needed was the help from her friends. They wouldn't let her down, and she knew it.

_I just want to feel today, feel today, feel today  
__I just want to feel something today  
__I just want to know today, know today, know today  
__Know that maybe I will be ok  
__Know that maybe I will be ok  
__Know that maybe I will be ok_

* * *

AN: I am so sorry for the wait! I know you hate me, but I just wasn't happy with this chapter, which is why it's been sitting on my desktop for the past few weeks. I honestly still hate it, but I stopped reading it over and decided I'm going to get over my dislike of it so I can at least give you guys something for sticking around. I love you guys for reading, and I hope the next chapter is better and up sooner. I also hope that any mistakes in this chapter aren't too painstakingly noticeable. I have two Brooke/Lucas scenes planned for the next chapter, just for you Brucas fans. Love you, and thanks for reading!


	20. Perfect

"_**Sometimes people put up walls. Not to keep people away, but to see who cares enough to tear those walls down."  
**__**~ Brooke Davis**_

Brooke crossed her arms at her chest and sighed. Fear was starting to settle deep within. It was a fear that they weren't going to be ready for Friday night- which was now six days away. Fear that her mother would find great joy in her failure. What had she gotten herself into? "Hey Pretty Girl." She jumped at the familiar voice and turned around.

"Luke, what are you doing here?" Honestly? She was surprised to see him. It was only two days ago that Haley had told her about the break up. Brooke had thought Lucas would still be at home- brooding.

"Thought I'd come and see how the destruction of my mom's cafe was coming." He replied with a shrug. "Well, that and a little bird told me you could use some help and maybe a little coffee this morning."

It was then Brooke noticed the coffee Lucas held in his hand. She was going to blame stress for her lack of observation today. "Well, I think this birdie might be my new best friend." She mused as she took the cup of coffee from Lucas. "Thanks Luke, I really needed it."

"What can I do to help?"

"Help me beat the construction crew with their own hammers? It might be the most work the hammers have seen." She replied shaking her head. "Sorry. I'm getting frustrated. Most of this work was supposed to be done by now. Can't have a store opening without a store that's finished, but these idiots don't seem to understand that. I'm beginning to think my mother paid them more to purposely go slower and drive me insane."

"If we beat them with their hammers, wouldn't that stop construction completely?"

Brooke was quiet for a moment and just looked at him. "Shush. You're supposed to go with my plans, not point out the flaws in them."

"Sorry." Lucas said with a small smile.

Brooke didn't really know what to think about everything. If she were in Lucas' place she would probably be hiding out in her room- at least for a couple of days. She wanted to ask him how he was holding up after Lindsey left, but at the same time she didn't want to bring it up. Lucas was putting on a brave face for a reason and she was going to respect that. When Lucas wanted to talk, she would be around to listen.

She sighed and turned to glance at Lucas. "Want to hide out with me in my office for a bit? Maybe when we come back out there will be some progress out here." Unlikely, but she could still hope.

Lucas shrugged. "Sure, why not. Maybe we'll be able to come up with a better plan to get the guys working."

"Oh! I could get naked." She paused. "Okay, maybe not that would probably make them stop work completely." She wasn't being serious about the idea she just wanted to keep Lucas smiling and even laughing. It was the best medicine after a break up... sometimes.

Lucas laughed and shook his head. "Yeah, I don't think that would do you any good."

"Well, I want to hear some ideas come out of your mouth. So far I've been the only one to throw ideas out." Brooke pointed out.

"It is your store..." Lucas trailed off with a smile.

"Yeah, and you're my friend, so you're supposed to be helpful when it comes to things like this. And, since you made the mistake of showing up with coffee in hand, you're stuck here at least for a while with me." Brooke smiled before turning and heading towards her back office. "Come on Luke!" She called over her shoulder before slipping into the office. It was going to be nice to have Lucas here as a slight distraction from the chaos that was currently her store.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm coming." Lucas replied sipping at his coffee before he followed Brooke into her office.

Brooke put her coffee down on her desk which was covered in piles of magazines, papers, and a few other things. It was a good thing her mother hadn't ventured back here when she'd paid that surprise visit. If she had, there was no doubt in Brooke's mind that her mother would have gone crazy, ranting on and on about how she needed organization to get work done. Organization would happen- later. Right now Brooke had other things on her mind, like getting this store finished for the party to celebrate the opening on Friday night. Brooke sat down in her office chair and smile at Lucas. "Take a seat, and let's figure something out."

Lucas sat down across from her and leaned back in the seat. "Have you tried asking them to pick up the pace?"

"Of course I have." Brooke replied. "Like a million times. I think it goes in one ear and out the other. Last month I didn't want to push them, just because it was close to Christmas and all of that, but now I wish I would have. They're taking their sweet time."

"Tell them their pay is going to be cut back by a certain amount the closer to Friday they get." Lucas shrugged.

Brooke was silent for a moment as she thought about it. "You know Luke that could work." She mused before she picked up her coffee and sipped at it. "So, now that I've got a plan A, I'm going to need a plan B."

"Always good to have a back-up plan." Lucas nodded.

"Or... five..." Brooke smiled. Sitting here with Lucas was nice. In a way it felt like old times, before the drama back in high school. Sometimes she wanted so badly to go back to high school, but the pain and lessons learned kept the feeling from staying too long.

_Falling a thousand feet per second, you still take me by surprise  
__I just know we can't be over, I can see it in your eyes  
__Making every kind of silence, takes a lot to realize  
__It's worse to finish than to start all over and never let it lie  
__And as long as I can feel you holding on  
__I won't fall, even if you said I was wrong_

Rachel brushed her bangs out of her face as leaned back in her seat. This was kind of awkward, and she really wasn't sure why. She had gone over to Owen's for breakfast and he'd ended up asking her to bring Jayden over to Nathan and Haley's for a play date with Jamie. Somehow that turned into Rachel sitting with Haley in the kitchen drinking coffee. Since graduation Rachel had been back to Tree Hill a lot because of Jayden. She had spent a decent amount of time with the girl too. But right now? She felt awkward. Her gaze moved down to her coffee mug as her fingers drummed the side of it.

After what seemed to feel like an eternity Rachel finally decided to say something. "Brooke told me that you guys were looking for a nanny. Does that mean Nate's going back to playing basketball?"

"He's got a lot of work to do, but he's going to try."

"That's good..." Rachel bit the corner of her lip. "You know... if you ever need someone to keep an eye on Jamie while you and Nathan are out, you can give me a call..."

"Rachel-" Haley started, but Rachel found herself cutting her off.

"You don't have to say it Haley. You don't think it's such a good idea, and I don't blame you." Rachel shook her head. "I mean, it's not like I ever gave you a reason to like me in high school, and I know I haven't been the most trustworthy person in the world in the past couple of months for anyone. If I was you, I probably wouldn't take the offer either."

Haley shook her head. "I wasn't thinking anything like that. I was going to say that I appreciate your offer and I'll make sure to keep it in mind."

Rachel studied Haley, she didn't really believe her. The way she saw it Haley was just trying to be nice right now. They hadn't gotten along in high school, and that was Rachel's own fault- she was well aware of that. The only reason Haley probably put up with her now was because of Brooke and Lucas, and maybe Owen and Jayden. "If you say so." Rachel replied with a shrug. The topic of conversation needed to get changed before the whole thing got even more awkward. "I'm amazed at how close Jayden and Jamie are. Never thought I'd see the day that my kid would be all buddy-buddy with your kid. Not after everything in high school."

"It came as a shock to me too." Haley replied, letting the conversation switch topics. "The two just clicked. They act almost like..."

"Brothers." Rachel supplied the only word that she could think of really.

"Yeah." Haley nodded, her voice soft. "Almost like brothers."

Rachel was just glad that there were people around for her son. He had a far better support system then she ever had. And, that was why she knew that he was going to make it in the world. He was going to be a good person because of the people he had around him. If something happened to her, she knew that her son would be alright. The ringing of her BlackBerry drew her attention to the table. '_Dad_' flashed across the screen, causing her to pause for a second. She picked up her phone and got up from the table. "I'm going to slip outside, I gotta take this call." Rachel informed Haley before heading for the back door.

"What do you want?" She answered as soon as she was outside and the door was closed behind her.

"Hello to you too Rachel."

"Don't dad. What did I tell you last time you called?" She pinched the bridge of her nose and took a seat on one of the lawn chairs that were sitting by the pool. She wasn't really sure why she had even bothered to answer the phone. The smarter move probably would have been to ignore it.

"That you didn't want to talk to me until the divorce was final." Her parent's divorce was something she had seen coming for years, and right now she felt like the only reason either of them bothered to try and call her was to get her on their side. As far as she could tell the divorce was messy, mostly because her mother wanted everything that rightfully belonged to her father. Rachel just wanted to stay completely out of it.

"Well, is it?"

There was a pause. "Not yet."

"Then don't waste my time. I told you and mom both that I didn't want anything to do with this two months ago. All you want is for me to say bad things about mom and good things about you, just like all mom wants is for me to say bad things about you and good things about her. It's not happening. I'm not going to sit there and let people use what I have to say about the two of you to decide who gets what in the divorce. It doesn't involve me."

"That's not why I'm calling."

Rachel was confused now. In the past few months their divorce had been the only reason either of her parents had bothered to call her. "Then what is it?"

"I wanted to check up on you, see how you were doing."

She couldn't help but role her eyes at the thought- like she believed that one. This was her father. He'd barely ever showed any real interest in her life. "No, really dad, what do you want?"

There was a sigh. "I want to finally meet my grandson."

"No." Rachel was quick to respond with that one. Her parents had given her a lot, she would never deny that. But, most of what they had given her was money, expensive things, and trips to exotic places. She couldn't remember the last time she had heard either of them tell her they were proud, or that they loved her. Hell, she couldn't even remember the last time she'd been hugged by either of them.

"Rachel, don't be like this. He's three years old, it's about time I get to meet him."

"Dad, the answer is no. Now, I gotta get going. I've got things to do."

"What things?" He asked before she could hit the end button. "You don't have a job anymore."

"How do you know that?"

"I have my ways."

"Cryptic much?" Rachel shook her head. "I'm going now. Bye dad." She hit the end button and rubbed the back of her neck. She just didn't get it. Why her father was suddenly showing an interest in her life was beyond her. She had spent years trying to get his attention, trying to get him to show her that he cared, and she had gotten nothing but money or expensive gifts. Sure, it had been nice, but it wasn't what she really wanted. She wanted what Lucas had with his mother, or what Haley seemed to have with her parents. It was hard for Rachel to believe that now, her father wanted to show her that he cared about her or her son. The way she saw it her father wanted something, she just had to figure out what exactly that something was.

_I'm not perfect, but I keep trying  
_'_Cause that's what I said I would do from the start  
__I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave  
__Was it something I said or just my personality?_

Lucas' sides hurt from laughing. It seemed to be all that he had done since he'd sat down with Brooke in her office. They started off throwing out random ideas on how to get the crew to work faster and somehow they had ended up reminiscing about high school. "I wanted to kill Rachel so bad for that. It's why I refuse to play 'I never' with her now."

"I found the whole thing rather funny."

Brooke rolled her eyes. "Everyone found it funny. I found a bit of humour in it because of Bevin, but did everyone really have to start using 'brooking' after that?"

"Of course, it made it all the more entertaining."

"You guys all suck for finding it entertaining. I hate you all." It was hard to take Brooke seriously when she had some a bright smile on her face. He loved her smile.

"So, if you hate all of us does that mean we have to still come here on Thursday to help with the final touches on this place?" Lucas questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"I don't hate you guys _that_ much."

Lucas laughed. "That's what I thought."

"Whatever, Broody." Brooke's nose wrinkled slightly as she said it and a small laugh escaped her lips. Lucas couldn't help but think about how cute it was. Ever since his conversation with Nathan, Brooke had been on his mind. Okay, she had been on his mind long before that; he just wasn't really willing to admit that fact- at least not yet.

A comfortable silence fell between the two of them for a few minutes as they both sat at thought back to high school. So many things had happened, and so many things had changed. Sometimes it was hard to believe that it had all occurred. Lucas often found it mildly funny how things had turned out for him. Before junior year he would have never thought that he would have gotten closer to his brother, or that he would have ended up dating Brooke and Peyton.

"Remember the Sparkle Classic senior year?" Brooke questioned, breaking the silence. "Aside from finding Peyton in your bed, that was a great weekend."

"Peyton ending up in my bed was Rachel's fault." Lucas pointed out.

"Rachel really had it out to get me back then, didn't she?" Brooke tilted her head to the side as she thought about it. "And I had it out to get her, I guess. But that was your fault."

Lucas raised an eyebrow as he looked at the brunette sitting in front of him. "How was it my fault?"

"Because she liked you, and at one point in time she was naked in the backseat of your car. That's my move. No one steals my move."

"I think the only reason Rachel 'liked' me at that point in time was because of you."

"And once again that leads us back to the whole Rachel being out to get me thing."

"Then, somewhere along the lines you moved into her place and you guys became great friends."

Brooke smiled softly. "Everyone seems to think that the day I moved in to Rachel's place we became best friends. You know, it wasn't really the case. It was a slow process. The more I got to know her, the more I realized she was a lot like me."

Lucas had gotten to know Rachel a lot better over the past year or so. He saw the similarities between her and Brooke, but really there were far more differences. "The two of you are a dangerous pair."

"Rachel's been telling you stories hasn't she?"

"Nope." Lucas shook his head. "But, Owen has."

"I don't know if that's worse or not. Though, I'd like to believe that his stories would all hold me in a positive light, 'cause he loves me like a sister." Brooke took a second to think over what she had just said. "Okay, so maybe the fact that he loves me like a sister would lead to him telling embarrassing stories from New York about me."

"I wouldn't say they're embarrassing... more entertaining than anything." Lucas shrugged. "Like the whole getting drunk, singing karaoke with Rachel and falling off the stage into some actor's lap. That gave me a good laugh."

Brooke groaned. "He did not tell you that one! It's all Owen's fault, he kept feeding us shots."

"That's not what I heard." Lucas replied. "I heard you guys had gotten someone else to go get you shots because Owen cut the two of you off."

"He just doesn't want it to seem like it's his fault when it was." Brooke shrugged. "And I'm going to avoid talking about more embarrassing stories by asking if you want to go for lunch. I'm getting hungry. Hopefully when I get back some more progress will be made with this place."

"Lunch? I think that sounds like a good idea right about now."

When Lucas had shown up with coffee earlier in the day, he hadn't expected things to play out this way. He had thought he'd be dropping off a coffee for Brooke and find himself on his way again. Instead he had found himself talking the morning away with Brooke. He was really enjoying how his day was turning out.

"Alright. Let's go then." Brooke grinned as she got up from her seat. "Do you have any preferences?"

"Not really." Lucas shrugged. "I'm good with anything."

"Anything it is." Brooke laughed as she picked up her purse from beside the desk and made her way towards the door of the office.

Lucas got up and followed her. The whole time he had spent with Brooke so far he hadn't thought much of Lindsey, or Peyton. He hadn't thought of the problems in his life. No, instead his thoughts had completely involved Brooke. His focus had been on the brunette he'd let slip away senior year. Things could have been so different if he'd fought harder to keep her.

_Making every kind of silence, takes a lot to realize  
__It's worse to finish than to start all over and never let it lie  
__And as long as I can feel you holding on  
__I won't fall, even if you said I was wrong_

Haley watched as Rachel sat on the couch between Jayden and Jamie as they taught her how to play one of Jamie's random basketball games on the PS3. The plan had been for Owen to drop Jayden off in the morning for a play date, but instead Rachel had shown up at the door. For reasons unknown, Haley had found herself inviting Rachel in for coffee. Maybe it was because Haley felt like she needed to give Rachel a better chance. She had seen a change in the girl since high school, she just hadn't taken the time to truly notice. Rachel was trying to be a better person. Really, she had earned a second chance.

"I give up. You guys are kicking my a- butt." Rachel shook her head. "And you guys aren't even five yet."

"You have the guys to thank for that." Haley informed her. "It seems to be all Skillz, Junk, and Fergie like to do when they babysit. Luke and Nate are the same. Owen isn't too bad."

"Unless it's a racing game, right?" Rachel questioned.

"Daddy likes car racing games." Jayden pitched in.

Rachel smiled. "Yes he does. He taught me how to play, and then when I beat him he didn't want to play the game with me anymore."

Jamie turned to look at her. "If you can play that, you can play this."

"Easier said than done." Rachel shook her head. "I will never be good at games that involve more than two buttons needing to be used at once."

Haley tilted her head to the side. "Is Rachel Gatina really admitting defeat?"

"Yeah, and if you tell anyone outside of this room, you'll be sorry tutor girl."

"Now girls, if you don't behave and get along I'm going to have to split you up." Nathan's voice filled the living room.

Rachel snorted in response while Haley replied, "We'll try to remain on our best behaviour."

"Good."

Haley couldn't help but shake her head. This whole thing was kind of weird. If someone had asked her back in senior year if she ever saw herself sitting in a room with Rachel Gatina and being fairly civil- only joking around with each other, she would have told them that they were insane. But the girl had changed, and Haley was willing to give her another chance. "How was the gym?" She asked her husband with a smile.

"Not bad. I was thinking of taking the boys to the Rivercourt."

That seemed to grab Jamie's attention. "Can we go?"

"Jayden's gotta ask him mom first." Haley replied glancing from Jamie to Rachel.

"Can I mommy?" Jayden questioned looking up at Rachel.

Rachel nodded. "Of course you can." Her gaze moved to Nathan. "Just make sure he makes it back in one piece, alright?"

"I'll do my best."

"And no ice cream for lunch." Haley decided to add in her own two cents.

"Crap." Rachel mumbled before anyone else could say anything. "I was supposed to meet someone for lunch, and I spaced." She pushed herself up off of the couch and kissed the top of Jayden's head. "You be good, alright Jay? I'll pick you up later."

"Kay mommy." Jayden grinned at her.

Rachel looked over at Haley, "Thanks for the coffee and all that stuff. Just call me when you want me to come get him."

Haley nodded and watched as Rachel kissed the top of Jayden's head again before heading to the front door, in a hurry. She shook her head and looked at Nathan and then the boys after the sound of the front door closing echoed through the living room. "How about I make you guys some lunch before you head off to play at the Rivercourt?"

"Are we gonna have mac n'cheese?" Jamie questioned.

"Of course." Haley nodded. It would always be one of her favourite meals, and she didn't think it would ever change. And she saw no harm in making it one of her son's favourites too.

"Awesome."

Haley smiled at her son's response. "I'm going to take that as a yes." She laughed. "Jayden does that work for you?"

The three year old nodded as Nathan took the seat between the boys that Rachel had gotten up from. "Alright." Haley said as she got up from her seat. "I'll go work on your guys' lunch while you play your video games." She headed into the kitchen and smiled to herself as she listened to the sounds of the three in the living room. The laughing and cheerful conversation was always nice to hear. Nathan was great with the boys.

_I know that I'm not perfect, but I keep trying  
_'_Cause that's what I said I would do from the start  
__I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave  
__Was it something I said or just my personality?_

Brooke pushed opened the door to the diner as stepped inside, Lucas close behind. It had taken them close to a half hour to decide where exactly they should eat, and now Brooke was starving. "Don't laugh at my growling stomach." She said glancing back at Lucas.

"I can't help it." Lucas shrugged. "It's just so loud!"

"Oh shush!" As Brooke glanced around for somewhere to sit she spotted a familiar face. She reached back and grabbed Lucas' hand pulling him a long with her. "Julian! What are you doing here?"

Julian looked up from the papers he was reading through and shrugged, "I was supposed to meet Rachel here an hour ago... she hasn't shown up yet."

"And you're still waiting to see if she'll show up?" Lucas questioned.

"This is nothing compared to when I knew her back in high school before she moved here to Tree Hill. I'm use to waiting for her."

"Mind if we join you?" Brooke asked, not really waiting for an answer before she moved into the booth sitting across from Julian. Lucas moved to sit beside her in the booth.

"Not at all." Julian smiled at her.

"Have you ordered any food yet?" Brooke questioned as she made herself comfortable.

Julian shook his head. "No. Just a drink. I was waiting for Rachel to get here before I ordered something to eat."

"You sure she didn't forget about you?" Brooke asked, glancing around to see if the waitress was getting close to their table or not. She wanted food- soon.

"I was planning on giving her another hour before I called her." Julian replied.

"Well, you've got us now if she doesn't show up." Brooke stated with a smile. If Rachel had forgotten about her plans with Julian there had to be a good reason for it. She was probably with Owen and Jayden, meaning she probably got sidetracked. Brooke decided to voice that thought. "I know this morning she left early to go have breakfast with Owen and Jayden so she probably got distracted."

Julian nodded. "Part of me thinks you're right."

"And the other part?" Brooke questioned, tilting her head to the side as she looked at Julian.

"Thinks she's just avoiding me, or has done something stupid."

Brooke glanced from Julian to Lucas and back again. She could see how protective Julian was of Rachel, and it was nice to know that one of her best friends had so many people who cared. "Whatever happened in New York with her is staying in New York." She said confidently. Rachel had been a mess, she knew that. And, from what Rachel had told her things just hadn't gone her friend's way. Things in Tree Hill would be different. "Jayden is one of the best things to happen to Rachel. When she's around him... she's a completely different person. He brings out the side of her that she tries so hard to hide. I don't think we have to worry about her doing anything stupid, not when he's around her."

"I don't know Rachel as well as either of you," Lucas started, finally speaking up. "But, Brooke's right. Jayden's been a good influence on her. She has spent quite a bit of time at my place, and when she's with her son she's nothing like she was in high school."

"I know... I just... worry about her." Julian stated. He cleared his throat. "Let's change the subject shall we? What are you two up to today?"

Brooke shrugged. "We were hanging out at the store talking about the good ol' days."

"And then Brooke's stomach decided to join the conversation."

Rolling her eyes Brooke said, "I was going to pay for your lunch but since you won't stop making fun of me, you're on your own."

"Hey, I didn't make fun of you this time, I was just making a comment." Lucas smiled at her.

"Whatever Broody, you're on your own. Your lunch is coming out of your own pocket today. I will however pay for Julian's lunch." Her gaze moved to Julian. "And don't think about telling me I don't have to. It's my thank you for setting Rachel straight in New York and bringing her back to Tree Hill."

"I'm not one to turn down food, so whatever makes you happy." Julian responded.

"Just don't think it means you can order the most expensive thing on the menu." Brooke stated, a smile playing on her lips.

"Damn. There goes that plan." Julian laughed. "I guess I can order the second most expensive thing on the menu then."

"Go for it." Brooke smiled. She wasn't overly worried about it. After all it wasn't like she had been overly serious with her last comment. Plus, the menu at the diner wasn't one to be afraid of. Everything on the menu was pretty decently priced. She sent a smile in Lucas' direction before quickly checking her phone. Brooke hoped Rachel hadn't forgotten about her plans with Julian- it'd be nice to just sit back and relax for a bit with her.

_When you're caught in a lie and you've got nothing to hide  
__When you've got nowhere to run and you've got nothing inside  
__It tears right through me, you thought that you knew me  
__You thought that you knew_

Peyton was still pretty much avoiding people and she wasn't really sure why. When she was at the house she was in her room, listening to music and drawing. When she was out of the house she was anywhere she knew she could avoid friends. She was going to say it was just so that she could think about things and get her life in order. There was so much drama at the moment- so much unnecessary high school drama. She was highly aware that most of the drama that surrounded her right now was her own fault. After all she had kissed Lucas, right? Everyone seemed to want to point the finger at her and blame her. Truthfully, she couldn't blame them for that.

After driving around for an hour or so this morning she found herself at the cemetery sitting in front of her adoptive mother's grave. The silence that surrounded the blonde as she sat there was almost comforting. It gave her time to think, to figure out what she wanted. "Hey mom." She said softly after awhile. Anna Sawyer might not be her biological mother, but Peyton would always hold her high on a pedestal- even after meeting Ellie Harp, her real mother. When she really needed to talk to someone it was always Anna she thought of. Almost ten years after losing Anna she had lost Ellie- and that had almost killed her. Losing one mother was hard, but losing two was devastating. It didn't help that Larry- her adoptive father- was gone so often.

"I know I haven't been here in awhile... and I'm sorry for that." She said softly. Her gaze moved around the cemetery briefly to see if anyone else was around. "I've been... busy... trying to figure things out. Life just... it isn't going where I thought it would, you know? I'm just not where I thought I would be by now." That was an understatement. There were so many things that Peyton had thought she would have had accomplished by now. "I miss you. Every day I wish I could see you again. I wish I could just call you up and get your opinion on something, but I can't and it hurts. I was eight when you died, and it's still hard for me to deal with. I just wished you had been there with me while I was growing up." Peyton sighed. "I guess I'm still growing up."

Peyton took a deep breath and blinked back her tears. There were so many people out there who still had both parents still around, and Peyton was jealous of them. Sure her father was just a phone call away, but it really wasn't the same thing. Not to her anyway. "Lucas asked me to marry him a couple years ago, I know I haven't told you about that yet..." As Peyton continued to sit there, staring at the gravestone, she talked about turning down Lucas' proposal, quitting her job, and coming back to Tree Hill. She also talked about all the events of the past few months. It felt good to be getting it all off of her chest.

_I'm not perfect, but I keep trying  
_'_Cause that's what I said I would do from the start  
__I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave  
__Was it something I said or just my personality?_

Rachel had made a couple of stops before going to the diner she was supposed to meet Julian at. She was just hoping that Julian hadn't given up and left yet. Calling might have been a good idea, but of course that thought seemed to have slipped her mind until she was a block away. She was a great friend... sometimes. Slipping into the diner, she scanned the place and was surprised to see not only Julian but Brooke and Lucas as well. The table had to be full of sexual tension.

She slid into the booth beside Julian and across from Lucas, setting the plastic bag she had in hand, as well as her purse, between Julian and herself. It looked like their meals were already in front of them, and it filled her with a sense of guilt. She pushed the feeling aside as she reached over to Julian's plate and swiped a fry. "Sorry I'm late."

"You coulda called." Julian stated, slapping her hand away as she went for another fry.

"I could have, but I didn't think of it. I was busy."

Julian lifted the bag Rachel had placed down between them. "Busy shopping?"

"That was on the way here. I don't think it really matters what I was doing." Rachel stated, turning her attention away from Julian and towards the other two sitting at the table. "So, what are you two love birds doing here? I thought it was just gonna be me and Julian."

"Rachel!" Brooke exclaimed glaring at her.

"Sorry. Right, Lucas has a girlfriend." She paused at the looks Brooke and Lucas shot her way. "Apparently not anymore... I forgot how hard it was to keep up with things in this town."

Brooke shook her head before answering Rachel's previous question. "Lucas and I came here for lunch and spotted Julian sitting alone since you forgot about him. Thought we'd keep him some company. Where were you anyway?"

"I had breakfast with Owen and Jayden, and then Owen asked me to take Jayden to Nathan and Haley's place for his little play date with Jamie." Rachel started to explain, reaching over to Julian's plate to take another fry- this time not getting slapped away. "I ended up sitting down with Haley and talking over a coffee."

"Was Nathan there?" Lucas questioned.

"Nope." Rachel replied. "Nate was at the gym or something."

"So... you were alone with Haley and didn't kill each other?" Lucas questioned with a raised eyebrow.

Rachel couldn't help but roll her eyes. "Oh, come on Luke that is so high school. We're so over that. Get with the program already." This was nice, comforting even. Rachel felt almost relaxed. "Though I guess I have the boys to thank for making it out of the house in one piece." She jokingly added. "It still blows my mind that those two kids are such great friends."

"You and Haley could have been great friends in high school if you hadn't tried to sleep with Nathan." Brooke stated.

"I tried to sleep with Lucas too and you and I are great friends." Rachel responded with a shrug.

"Yeah, but Lucas and I weren't married."

"Could have fooled me back then."

"So what'd you buy?" Brooke questioned clearly trying to change the subject.

Rachel took a few more fries from Julian's plate and ate them before replying. "Hair dye. Being a brunette is just... boring."

"Hey!" Brooke exclaimed. "I'm a brunette."

"My point exactly." Rachel smiled at her friend.

"I don't know why I put up with you."

"I don't either, but you do." Rachel glanced around the table. "So, anyone got any fun stories to tell? Maybe some good gossip? I feel so out of the loop."

"There's nothing really exciting going on in Tree Hill right now." Brooke was first to reply.

"Well, except for the much anticipated opening of Clothes over Bros in six days." Lucas offered.

Rachel couldn't help but smirk. Her attention was directed to her brunette friend. "Remember the second LA store opening? That was a good night."

"Before or after you almost started a fight with Paris Hilton?" Brooke questioned.

"It was a good night all around. I wish you would have let me punch the blonde bitch in the face."

Brooke shook her head. "I don't know what you're problem is with her, she's a nice girl."

"She annoys me." Rachel shrugged.

"Who doesn't annoy you?" Julian asked as he joined back into the conversation.

Rachel pursed her lips as she thought over the question. "My son doesn't annoy me."

"Good one." Brooke laughed. "As nice as this was, I gotta get back to the store. I've still got a bunch of things to do." As she slid out of the booth she turned to Lucas, "Don't think of ditching me now Luke, you promised you'd help me out."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming." Lucas replied, following her out of the booth.

Brooke tossed a few twenties onto the table, to cover the lunches that she said she would pay for. "I'll see you later slut."  
"Bye whore." Rachel waved as she was left alone with Julian.

The thought of the Clothes over Bros store opening was now on the back of her mind and Rachel realized she really needed to get her act together. There was a part of her that didn't want to go to the opening, but she knew she had to. She had been to every single Clothes over Bros store opening with Brooke, it wouldn't be right to bail on this one. Rachel was going to have to sit down with Brooke and figure a few things out... maybe tomorrow night.

_I'm not perfect, but I keep trying  
_'_Cause that's what I said I would do from the start  
__I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave  
__Was it something I said or just my, just myself?  
__Just myself.  
__Myself.  
__Just myself._

Haley sat at the piano, her fingers moving over the keys. Rachel had picked up Jayden an hour ago and Jamie was upstairs in his room while Nathan cooked dinner. Today had proved to be an interesting day. Sitting with Rachel and talking, just the two of them, hadn't been something Haley had thought would ever happen. Usually Lucas, or even Brooke, was around acting as a buffer. Now though Haley found herself wondering why that was even necessary. Seeing the mother side of Rachel had allowed Haley to forgive her for everything that happened in high school- for the most part.

"That sounds good." Haley smiled at the sound of Nathan's voice, as she continued to move her fingers over the keys.

"Dinner done yet?" She questioned, her gaze following her own fingers.

"Not yet." Nathan replied as he sat down on the bench beside her.

"Well, it smells good." Haley smiled. For a few minutes all that could be heard was the sound of the piano as Haley continued to play. "Rachel made a weird offer today..." She said once she'd finished playing the song.

"What kind of weird offer? She didn't offer anything of the sexual variety, did she?"

"Nathan!"

Nathan laughed. "What? This is Rachel we're talking about."

Haley shook her head, her smile still on her lips. "Actually, Brooke told her that we were looking for a nanny, and she offered to watch Jamie..." Ever since the conversation she had had with Rachel earlier in the day, Haley had been thinking long and hard. There were a lot of reasons she could think of to decline Rachel's offer. But, at the same time, most of those reasons had to do with things that had happened in high school. If she put all of that aside the only thing keeping her from giving Rachel a chance was the girl's disappearance to New York. All Haley knew about that was that Rachel had gone for work and then stopped answering phone calls after getting fired.

"And what are your thoughts on that?"

Haley sighed. "I really don't know." She admitted. "I think I might have offended Rachel because before I could say anything to her she cut me off and started to talk about how she understood why I wouldn't want her to watch Jamie. I don't even know the full extent of her offer. I mean, it could have been a 'you guys want a date night call me' or even 'I'll keep an eye on your son while you and Nathan work at your careers'. It's hard to tell with her."

"We know her better than we know any of the nannies we interviewed." Nathan mused aloud, his words surprising Haley. "She's changed since high school. We all have... she's got a son now too so it's not like she doesn't know what she's doing."

"You think we should give her a chance then?"

Nathan shrugged. "I don't know Hales. Maybe we should see what Brooke thinks... she does know Rachel better than any of us do. She'd tell us if we were making a mistake. And, I mean, for all we know, just like you said, Rachel was just talking about babysitting here and there for us. We could always just give her a trial run..."

The more she thought about it, the more torn Haley found herself. It wasn't only because of her past issues with Rachel that made things difficult, it was the fact that this all had to do with the well being of her son. All she wanted was the best for Jamie, that fact was what made picking a nanny so hard for her. If she wasn't so worried, they probably would have found someone weeks ago. "You should probably go check on dinner, we'll figure this all out later."

"Alright." Nathan leaned in and kissed her before getting up and heading back into the kitchen.

Haley sighed and went back to playing the piano. There were so many things to think over, so many scenarios to play over. Nathan had a good idea when he mentioned talking to Brooke before making a decision about Rachel. That was if Rachel had actually meant she'd watch Jamie more than every once in awhile. Haley closed her eyes and let her fingers move over the keys. She needed to think about something else for a while.

_I'm not perfect, but I keep trying._

* * *

_AN: Hey guys! I'm sorry that I haven't updated in FOREVER. I'm really sorry about that. I've had internet connection problems for the past couple of months. That and this chapter just wouldn't cooperate with me. I've rewritten it a bunch of times, and I'm still not happy with it (seems to be a pattern with everything I write lately). I'll try to get the next chapter up soon, it's been a little easier to write. Hope you guys can forgive me for the wait! _


	21. Leave Out All the Rest

"_**I come in here and I sit in silence and hear the echoes of who we used to be. And so I wish for patience, grace and strength to just let him be happy. Mostly, I pray for the strength to not make his life worse because of what I want. That's the toughest part, letting go. That's the part of grace that really sucks."  
**__**~ Peyton Sawyer**_

Peyton sat on the couch in the dark. She was waiting for Brooke to come home so that they could talk. She'd been avoiding people a lot the past couple weeks and she knew she needed to stop it. She needed to stop alienating herself from those she cared about. Avoiding people hadn't been too hard though. Brooke was busy with getting her store ready to open and Rachel was hardly around. Peyton still wasn't sure if the girl actually lived with Brooke and herself yet. She was pretty sure that Lucas was avoiding her while Nathan and Haley were busy with their own lives.

The pity party she was on right now really needed to stop. She didn't know what anyone was up to or how they really were. The worst part about it all was that it was unjustified. Yes, she was upset about Lucas and Lindsey and the fact that Brooke hadn't completely stuck by her, but it was really getting childish. It was time to get her act together- be a better friend.

"Peyton what are you doing sitting in the dark?" Brooke's voice caught her off guard. Why hadn't she heard the front door open?

"I don't know, just thinking."

Brooke moved around the couch to sit beside the blonde, letting her purse fall to the coffee table. "About what P. Sawyer?"

It almost bugged Peyton how easily Brooke slipped into 'friend' mode, brushing off everything to just listen. "I've been a crappy friend...well, person in general." Peyton mumbled.

"Peyton, you haven't -"

"Don't Brooke." Peyton cut her friend off. "I have. I know I have. I screwed things up with Lucas and I haven't been the greatest person to you. I'm sorry. What you said the other day... I hurt you, and I know that I did. I guess I just thought... I don't know." Peyton sighed. "We're still good... right?"

"Of course we are Peyton." Brooke smiled at her. "When I heard you kissed Lucas, it just brought back a lot of memories, you know? I just didn't want to see people get hurt again."

"I don't know why I kissed him."

"Because you still love him, and you didn't know what else to do."

Peyton didn't really know what to say, hadn't Brooke yelled at her last week because of this whole thing? She was expecting more yelling, more anger. She wasn't getting that and it was weird, but she liked this side of Brooke a whole lot better. This was the Brooke she had been hoping for the last time they talked.

"Peyton, I have to tell you something, but you can't think that it means anything, because it doesn't."

The blonde wasn't really sure that she liked the sound of that. "What?"

"Lindsey broke up with Lucas. As far as I know she's headed back to New York."

A silence fell between them as Peyton just looked at Brooke, letting the information fully sink in. Lindsey had broken up with Lucas which meant she had destroyed another relationship for him. Even though Peyton knew that she should feel bad about it, she couldn't. Lucas was single again. That had to mean she had a shot, a second chance. Right?

"I know what's going through your head right now P. Sawyer." Brooke's soft voice pulled Peyton from her thoughts. "You need to leave Lucas alone, alright? He's going through a tough time right now, so don't push things. When _he's_ ready he'll come to you _if_ he decides that it is what he wants."

Peyton suddenly felt a need to go on the defensive. "Are you trying to tell me to stay away from him Brooke?"

"No." Brooke shook her head and sighed. "That's not it at all Peyton. I just don't want you to try and get him back right now. Lindsey just broke up with him. You don't want to just end up as a rebound do you?"

"We have history."

"After a heartbreak, that history is just going to become one big jumbled mess and someone is going to get hurt. And I don't want to see that happen. Just give him time, alright?"

Peyton nodded. "You're a good friend Brooke."

"I know." Brooke smiled as she stood up. "I gotta get some sleep, I've got an early day tomorrow. You're coming to help out tomorrow afternoon, right? I'm enlisting everyone's help. Gonna order some pizza and stuff to get the rest of the store put together."

"Yeah. I'll be there." She had to stop avoiding everyone eventually, right?

"Good." Brooke grinned. "Night, P. Sawyer!"

"Night Brooke." Peyton watched as her brunette friend headed up the stairs. She wanted to take Brooke's advice- give Lucas some time to sort things out- but it was going to be hard. Peyton wanted to have him back. She had been scared when she had turned down his proposal. Now though, she wasn't scared. She just wanted the chance to let him know that.

Sighing the blonde pushed herself up from the couch and headed for her room. She was going to need some sleep if she was going to help Brooke at Clothes over Bros in the afternoon. Peyton knew that Lucas was going to be there helping which meant she was going to have to come up with a game plan. She was going to have to play her cards right tomorrow. She was going to have to be smart about how she went about getting Lucas back. Maybe tomorrow she would go with Brooke's suggestion- see how everything played out.

_I dreamed I was missing, you were so scared  
__But no one would listen, 'cause no one else cared  
__After my dreaming, I woke with this fear  
__What am I leaving when I'm done here?_

Owen quietly opened the door to his apartment and slipped inside. It was a little after midnight and he was just getting home from work. Tonight he was only supposed to work until eleven- a short shift compared to what he usually worked. But, he had ended up staying a little longer than planned, something that wasn't out of the norm for him. The apartment was quiet and if it wasn't for the faint glow coming from the television it would be almost pitch black. It was odd to him because whenever his mother babysat for him, she'd have at least the small living room's light on while she watched television. He wasn't worried though, because tonight his mother wasn't babysitting- it was Rachel, and knowing her she was curled up on the couch watching some late night talk show.

Things had been changing a great deal since Rachel finally made it back to Tree Hill. He had given her another chance and it was clear that she was really trying. Rachel had been coming over every morning for breakfast and this morning when she'd stopped by she asked if she could watch Jayden tonight. Owen had thought that she would do that over at Brooke's place so he had told her he would pick Jayden up on his way home from Tric. But, Rachel had surprised him and said that she'd stick around the apartment so that they wouldn't have to worry about disturbing Jayden. Though, Owen got the feeling Rachel just wanted to spend more one-on-one time with their son and he was perfectly fine with that.

He made his way into the living room expecting to see Rachel sitting there wide awake waiting for him, but she wasn't. Instead she was passed out. Her once again red hair covered her face as she hugged a pillow to her chest. She looked so peaceful. Owen couldn't help but smile at the sight. He felt like he was finally getting _his_ Rachel back. He picked up the throw blanket that was on the floor beside the couch and covered Rachel with it, not wanting to wake her up. The plan had been for Rachel to head back to Brooke's once he'd gotten home, but he saw no harm in her staying here for the night.

Owen turned to head towards Jayden's room, but was stopped by Rachel's voice. "Owen?" Maybe he hadn't been as quiet as he had thought he'd been.

"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you..." He said as he turned around to face her.

Rachel shook her head. She sat up, stretching a bit. "It's fine. I should probably head back to Brooke's."

"You know you can crash here, right?"

"I'm not sleeping on your couch Owen, and I'm not gonna kick you out of your bed."

Owen looked at her silently having a feeling he knew where she was going. "We can share my bed Rach." His suggestion surprised himself, and he knew what Rachel's first thought would probably be. "Just 'cause we're sharing the bed doesn't mean anything'll happen." Two months ago the offer would have never happened. Two months ago the thought of forgiving Rachel wasn't one that sat well with him. Boy, how things changed.

Rachel didn't say anything in response. The small bit of light coming from the television was enough for Owen to see Rachel staring down at her hands, fidgeting. "Can we..." Rachel took a breath. "Can we talk?"

Owen felt an uneasy feeling wash over him. "Sure..." He found himself thinking back to the night she had told him that she'd cheated on him. Hadn't she started out saying the same thing? The only real difference between that moment and now that Owen could think of (aside from them being in Tree Hill) was the fact that the only light was coming from the television leaving the room darker. Maybe he shouldn't be thinking about that.

_So if you're asking me, I want you to know  
__When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done  
__Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed  
__Don't resent me, and when you're feeling empty  
__Keep me in your memory, leave out all the rest  
__Leave out all the rest_

Lucas sat on his couch staring at the blank screen of his laptop. He had found himself sitting in the same place many times over the past couple of months, trying to write. Whenever he managed to write something, he'd find himself deleting it later on. Everything just felt forced to him. He wasn't even sure what he was attempting to write. At first he had started with a sequel to _An Unkindness of Ravens_, but it had been hard because he wasn't really sure where to go with it. It was hard to write another book about his life when he hadn't made it all that far. Sure a lot of things had happened since graduating but there was nothing that he felt like writing about.

When writing a sequel fell through, he started to just write, well, anything. He would just use the first thing that came to mind and write. Maybe that was why he always ended up deleting everything he wrote. He couldn't figure out why it was so hard to just write. He couldn't figure out why everything that came to mind now felt so forced. Okay, maybe he did. It wasn't like when he was writing _An Unkindness of Ravens_. At that point in time he had been trying to make sense of everything that had been happening. He had been trying to sort through his thoughts and feelings. Somehow it had turned into a book. Now though, Lucas was having a hard time doing that again.

Lucas let his gaze wander around the room, as he tried to get his thoughts together. After a little while he closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the couch cushion. Maybe he could try that sequel again. He could write about Lindsey and losing her because of Peyton. And, he could write about how Brooke had been there for him. No, that wouldn't really work, would it? He could try but he felt it would be like all the other times he'd tried to write the sequel- he'd get a paragraph in and would find himself deleting it. That could have to do with the fact he was still trying to figure things out. With Brooke and Peyton having been back in Tree Hill for the past month or so things had changed, he had changed- at least a little bit.

He wasn't really sure how long he'd been sitting there with his eyes closed, just thinking about what he was going to write. All he really knew was that ideas were slowly coming to him. Lucas opened his eyes and started to get his thoughts out- filling the blank screen in front of him. '_A lot can happen in five years. While some find their dreams coming true, others are struggling to keep theirs from slipping away..._' Lucas continued to type away. Maybe, just maybe, this time he wouldn't end up deleting everything he wrote.

Shifting slightly, Lucas got comfortable on the couch. He was at least determined to get a chapter of something written. Even if he ended up changing his mind about how he was going to write this. Being able to save something before he decided to call it a night would be nice. It would be even better if he decided to keep it whenever he got around to reading it over. If he could read something over and refrain from hitting the delete button it would mean there was some hope left.

_Don't be afraid  
__I've taken my beating, I've shared what I made  
__I'm strong on the surface, not all the way through  
__I've never been perfect but neither have you_

Rachel hadn't started talking right away. She was trying to choose her words wisely and figure out a way to tell Owen everything she felt she needed to. It was a hard task when you weren't one for sharing much of anything personal. It had been hard for Rachel to talk to Brooke and Julian and she felt like it was going to be even harder to fill Owen in on everything. She was afraid of losing him... again.

When it came down to it, Rachel liked to blame her parents for all the issues she had. In her opinion, if they had been better parents she probably wouldn't be so damaged. "Rachel, you okay?" Owen's voice brought Rachel back to the present. Right, she hadn't actually said anything yet.

"When it comes to my feelings or my problems, I always find it hard to talk. If it's not because of my trust issues, it's because I just don't want people to know my business." Rachel started with a sigh, her gaze down on her hands. She probably shouldn't have started with that. It sounded so unlike her and it left her feeling vulnerable in away. "I guess I don't really need to tell you that though. You've put up with a lot of shit from me."

Rachel went quiet again as she fidgeted a little, still avoiding eye contact with Owen. "Before we got together and had Jayden I was... a wreck and you know that. You and Brooke... you guys never really saw me at my worst. And, I just got better around you. You told me about your past and I forced myself to be a better person... to give up the crap I was doing. It was easier when I got pregnant because it wasn't just me I had to worry about, I had this innocent life to protect." She felt like she was talking too much. This was why she didn't like to share things. "I'd been so good about not drinking after having Jayden. The night I got drunk and slept with another guy... it was the most I had drank in a long time. I think I forgot how badly it could affect me. That night... it... it... opened the door to my past and I started to do things I wasn't proud of. After you and Jay left it just got worse. Brooke never noticed 'cause I could hide it from her, and when I was here in Tree Hill having Jayden kept me from doing anything overly stupid."

She finally looked up at Owen, the light from the television allowing her to see his face. She couldn't really make out his expression- he was watching her, listening, waiting for her to finish. Rachel could feel the tears stinging at her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. It was bad enough that she was talking about this crap, she wasn't about to cry now too. "Around Jayden's birthday I started getting phone calls from my parents. I knew they both had to want something, because neither of them had talked to me in a couple years. They told me they were getting a divorce, which really wasn't a surprise. I could care less about what was going on with them. What bugged me was the fact that they were only calling because they needed my help. My mom wanted me to say crap about my dad so that she could get what she wanted in the divorce, and my dad wanted me to say crap about my mom. It hurt, because the only reason either of them were calling me was for their benefit. They didn't want to talk, just to see how I was doing, or catch up. They both wanted to use me."

Rachel had told no one about that yet. The only thing Brooke and Julian knew was the fact her parents were getting divorced. She hadn't gone into any details with them. It was just easier to leave it be. Now, here she was telling Owen everything. She was getting everything off her chest with him. This was her attempt to better fix things between them. "And then Jayden told me he hated me. I know he didn't mean it. I knew it the moment he said it, but I was already a mess at that point. So, when I went back to New York for the photoshoot I used alcohol to forget things. When Victoria fired me, I used more alcohol, and then Meredith came around. It wasn't just alcohol anymore it got far worse. I hated myself for it, but all I wanted to do was forget so I just left it. It was why I didn't answer phone calls or attempt to make contact. I didn't want to know what anyone else would think."

She paused and studied Owen's face again, looking for the disappointment in his eyes. But, it wasn't there. Instead he was just looking at her with an unreadable expression. Maybe she had lost her touch at reading him, it had been awhile. "Julian found me and he tried to set me right. He brought me back here and I... I've been trying to stay away from the drugs and alcohol. It's easier to do when Jayden's around... but... when it's just me all I can think about is how nice it'd be to have a drink or maybe one joint, you know? I'm scared Owen." _Scared_. That was a word she didn't like to use. Well, it was one of many. She felt like it was admitting weakness. "I'm scared that I'm not strong enough to stay away from the alcohol and drugs long enough. I'm scared of letting you and Jayden down. I'm scared I'm going to do something stupid and ruin my second chance with you. And, I'm just... scared."

Rachel didn't know what else to say now. She'd said everything. For once in her life she had let everything go. She felt... naked. She felt like she had just set herself up to get torn down. This feeling was one of the many reasons she didn't like to talk about her problems. She had just rambled on and on, and Owen's current silence was making her antsy. Maybe she should have just kept her mouth shut about all of this. Right now she felt too much unlike herself to be comfortable.

Owen suddenly reached out and brushed her bangs behind her ear. The move confused her as did the words that followed. "There's the girl I fell in love with."

Rachel stayed silent; after all that she had said those eight words couldn't be all Owen had to say. The night she had told him she'd cheated on him had led to far more words than that. "You don't have to be scared Rachel." Owen suddenly continued. "Despite everything that has happened between us, I'm here for you. So is everyone else." His hand moved to her cheek. "It means a lot you know? You opening up to me like that."

"You should consider yourself lucky, 'cause it doesn't happen very often." Rachel said softly.

"I know." Owen shook his head. "I've known that since our first date."

Even though Rachel had been expecting more to come from her revelations, she didn't want to talk about it anymore. She got the feeling Owen knew that, which would explain his lack of questions. If she hadn't gotten drunk and slept with Cooper things would be different now. They'd probably still be in New York and she would most likely still have her job at Clothes over Bros. Okay, probably not so much on the job front. Victoria had always hated her, and would probably continue on hating her. The woman had always been looking for reasons to fire her.

Rachel leaned forward, pressing her lips against Owen's. It was a cautious kiss full of uncertainty on her part because after everything she had spilled, she wasn't sure how Owen felt. She only knew that she felt far more open than she was comfortable with. She broke the kiss and only pulled back enough to get a good look at his face. Rachel watched as a small smile came to Owen's lips before he closed the gap between them again.

Her arms moved to wrap around Owen's neck as she shifted herself so that she was straddling him. When Owen had told her that he was willing to give her a second chance, she had agreed to taking things slow. But, right about now, Rachel didn't care. The fact that Owen hadn't pulled away yet gave her the impression he didn't care at the moment either. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest. It had been a long time since she had been with him, and she missed it so incredibly much. All Rachel wanted right now was Owen. She realized this was a typical move for her. It always seemed like when she felt the way she did she turned to sex or alcohol. It was like an odd comfort for her and she didn't know why.

Rachel felt one of Owen's hands moved to her back while the other moved to tangle in her hair. She had missed him so bad. She had missed his smell, his touch and the feeling that washed over her by being so close to him. There was no way in hell she was going to screw things up with him again.

_So if you're asking me, I want you to know  
__When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done  
__Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed  
__Don't resent me, and when you're feeling empty  
__Keep me in your memory, leave out all the rest  
__Leave out all the rest_

Brooke made her way down the street towards Clothes over Bros. She had her latte in one hand, while her blackberry was in the other. It was only eight in the morning, but there was so much she needed to do. Not only did she have to make sure the store was put together but she had to make sure all the arrangements for tomorrow night were taken care of.

She quickly dialled a number before pressing the phone to her ear. "Hello?" Brooke felt great comfort at hearing the voice on the other end.

"Millicent! Please tell me your flight got in last night and that I didn't wake you up. If I woke you up, I'm going to feel horrible, especially if your flight was delayed at all and you weren't able to get a decent night's sleep."

"Don't worry Brooke, I've been up for the past hour. I was actually just about to leave the hotel to head over to the store."

"So that means you're in Tree Hill, right?"

"Yes, it means I'm in Tree Hill."

"Thank god!" Millicent had started out as just an assistant for Brooke, but in no time she had become a friend. The girl was quiet and a little nervous sometimes, but she was a good person. She was incredibly reliable too. Brooke knew that she could count on the girl whenever she needed to. "So, I'll see you at the store soon then?"

"Give me twenty minutes."

"You are great Millie! I would be lost without you."

Brooke heard Millicent laugh. "I'm sure you would be fine, Brooke."

"No. Trust me; I'd be lost without you." Brooke replied as she came to a stop in front of Clothes over Bros. She looked from the locked door to her latte- she really hadn't thought this fully through. She had to figure out a way to unlock the door without dropping her blackberry or her latte. Having the key out of her purse before leaving the coffee shop might have been a wise idea. Brooke used her shoulder to pin the blackberry against her ear while she attempted to use her free hand to dig around her purse. "You and I are going to be going through some paper work and stuff before everyone comes over later on in the day to help set up the place."

"Sounds good Brooke. Is your mother going to be there?"

Brooke sighed. "I really hope she doesn't show up. I haven't let her in on what's going on today, so there's hope I won't have to deal with her until tomorrow night." She finally managed to get the keys to the store out of her purse. Now all she had to do was unlock the door. "Don't get me wrong, she's my mother and I love her, it's just that Rachel's going to be here this afternoon... and I don't know how things would play out if my mother was here too. Tomorrow night would be a different story if there was a Rachel-Victoria showdown. Mostly because there will be far more people around and they would both be far less likely to let things escalate too far."

"Brooke, you realize you're starting to ramble a little worse than I usually do, right?" Millicent questioned. "Is everything okay with you?"

"Yeah, things are fine." Brooke smiled to herself when she managed to get the front door to the store open. She moved to the alarm keypad, and disarmed the alarm. "I'm just nervous. Tree Hill is home for me, I want to see the store do well, partially because my mother thinks it's going to fail. That, and this is the first store that has been completely my decision other than the first one in New York."

"You've got nothing to worry about Brooke." Millicent tried to reassure her. "I'm going to hang up though, I'll see you when I get there."

"Alright. Bye, Millie."

Brooke sighed as she hit the end button on her blackberry. She put her purse down on the counter and tossed her blackberry into it before looking around. Last week she had thought the paint wouldn't be on the walls and that the electricity wouldn't be working. Her mother had put so much doubt in her mind and she was glad that she hadn't let it get to her too much. The place was coming together. With the help of her friends everything would be done for tomorrow night. At least Brooke hoped it would be.

_Forgetting all the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well  
__Pretending someone else can come and save me from myself  
__I can't be who you are_

Owen rolled onto his side, a small smile coming to his lips at the memory of the night before. He had said he wanted to take things slow. The reason behind it? He was afraid of being hurt by Rachel again. But, last night things had changed. Before Rachel had cheated on him, he had gotten use to her closing up on him. He had always cherished the moments she had let him in. Last night had been the most he'd gotten out of her at once and he didn't have to say anything. He had always known that at one point in time she would need to let it all out, he was just glad it was around him. Giving her a second chance was proving to have been a wise decision. Maybe if he had forgiven her sooner though, she wouldn't have had to go through so much. No. He couldn't kick himself about this one.

He reached over and brushed her hair out of Rachel's face. Owen missed the times back in New York when he was able to wake up in the morning and see her still sleeping. When Rachel was asleep she always looked so peaceful, like there was nothing bothering her. It was like she just let everything go while she was asleep.

"Morning." Rachel's voice was rough with sleep.

"Sleep alright?"

Rachel nodded. "Better than I have in a long time." She admitted. "Look, I know you still don't know if you can trust me... and I don't blame you Owen... I really don't. I hurt you so badly... I hurt you and Jayden both..."

"Rachel," Owen started, resting his hand on her cheek. "Let's not talk about it, okay? At least not right now." He wanted to do his best to forget about Rachel cheating on him, at least for a little bit. Last night Rachel had opened up to him, more than she ever had at one time before, and he wanted to focus on that fact for a little while. He saw it as her making a real attempt at fixing things. He had let his pain and anger control his actions for far too long.

"Okay." Rachel smiled slightly. "How long do we have before Jayden gets up?"

"We've probably got a half hour or so." Owen shrugged. "I haven't heard any moving around yet, why?"

"I just wanted to know how long I could lie here with you... I missed this... more than I thought I did..."

"I missed it too." Owen rolled onto his back, his arm snaking around Rachel's waist to pull her closer to him.

Rachel rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes. The feeling was comfortable and safe. "Tell anyone I like to snuggle and I'll kick your ass."

Owen couldn't help but laugh at her words. It was the same thing she had said to him on one of their first dates when they had been curled up on his couch together. "My lips are sealed as long as you don't tell anyone about the weekend we spent watching Sex and the City back in New York when we first started dating."

"Deal."

A silence fell between the two of them. One of Owen's hands moved to play with Rachel's hair while he lied there with her- thinking. At one point in time he had told himself he would never forgive the red head, because of how badly she had hurt him. Owen was afraid of her hurting him again. And, after everything Rachel had told him last night he was afraid of her hurting herself- emotionally. Despite the time apart, Owen knew Rachel well. He knew how she kept things bottled up inside and how she tended to tear herself down.

Their silence didn't last for long- it was eventually broken by Rachel's blackberry going off. Rachel groaned before rolling over and feeling around on the floor for her blackberry. She glanced at the call display, deciding to hit the ignore button before curling up at Owen's side again.

"Who's call are you ignoring?" Owen questioned.

"Brooke's." Rachel replied as she shifted her head slightly on Owen's chest in an attempt to get comfortable again. "I think she's probably trying to hunt me down to rope me in to going over to Clothes over Bros early to help. And, that reminds me," Rachel turned so that her chin was resting on Owen's chest to allow her to look at him. "You're coming to help out, right? I know Brooke can use all the help she can get to get the place ready in time for tomorrow."

"I promised her I'd help out a week ago. Somehow I got roped into playing bartender for tomorrow night too."

"What Brooke Davis wants, Brooke Davis always seems to get. I bet it didn't take her long to twist your arm into agreeing. I hope she's paying you well."

Owen laughed. "Of course she is."

"Yeah right, you probably offered to do it for free."

Owen was quiet. Rachel was pretty close to the truth on that one. He had offered to do it for free, but Brooke had been quick to say that it wouldn't be happening. Apparently if he didn't let her pay him, she would feel far too guilty especially if he was going to be helping with set up. "I did offer, and she said it wouldn't happen."

"So, you have no idea what she's paying you to play bartender, do you?"

"Not a clue."

"Owen, Owen, Owen, what am I gonna do with you?" Rachel questioned with a smile before moving to kiss him, stopping when her lips mere millimetres from his.

"I don't know. You tell me." Owen said before he closed the distance between their lips.

Rachel deepened the kiss as she ran her hand up along his body.

Owen rolled them over so that he was on top. He broke the kiss and smiled down at Rachel. "We should probably get out of bed and get dressed."

"Thought you said we'd have some time before Jayden got up."

"We do, but I'm getting hungry."

"Alright, then you go get breakfast ready and I'll go have a shower."

"Don't take too long in the shower, otherwise there won't be any food left for you."

"Threatening me Morello?" Rachel questioned with a smirk.

"I just might be Gatina." He replied with a quick kiss before rolling onto his back and then sitting up. He reached down and picked up his boxers, putting them on before standing up. Once he had put on a pair of his sweats, Owen slipped out of the bedroom and quietly headed into the small kitchen, not wanting to wake Jayden up until breakfast was ready. This was what he had seen in their future when Rachel had said she was pregnant. He hadn't seen her cheating on him. And, he hadn't seen him moving to Tree Hill with Jayden, leaving Rachel behind in New York. Owen had seen nothing but a happy life with Rachel and maybe the past couple weeks were a sign that they could in fact have the life he had imagined for them.

_When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done  
__Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed  
__Don't resent me, and when you're feeling empty  
__Keep me in your memory, leave out all the rest  
__Leave out all the rest_

Haley fought back a yawn as she prepared breakfast for her boys. She was looking forward to the afternoon. Even though she knew she would be busy helping set up Brooke's store, Haley couldn't help but think about how it would be nice to have everyone in one place. Sure, she was aware that there could be some awkwardness with Lucas and Peyton, but Haley was really hoping that things would remain decent. Brooke was anxious and on edge about this store being ready for tomorrow night- Haley had been able to deduct that from the phone conversation they had had the night before. The last thing Brooke needed was her friends to be distracted with their problems. All Haley wanted was for Brooke to worry about herself for once instead of everyone else. The girl didn't need that added stress.

As she worked on breakfast she picked up the cordless phone and dialled a familiar number, feeling quite pleased when a familiar voice answered. "Hello?"

"Hey Luke, thought I would see if you were up yet."

"I haven't actually slept yet."

Haley's eyebrows knitted together at his comment, and concern filled her voice. "Are you okay, Luke?"

"Yeah. I'm fine, Hales. I just spent most of the night... and morning, writing."

"Luke that's great!" She smiled, knowing how hard it had been for Lucas to get back into writing. After '_An Unkindness of Ravens_' had been published it seemed that Lucas had hit a major writer's block. He had given her a couple things to read in the past before telling her that he had changed his mind and that she should just shred it. Of course, she hadn't done that. She'd filed away everything he'd ever given her to read. "Am I going to get to read what you've written any time soon?"

"Ask me again on Monday."

"Alright, I'll set myself a reminder so that when I'm on my way out the door to school on Monday, I can call and harass you." Haley laughed. "Anyway, what time are you heading over to help Brooke out?"

"I was thinking an hour or two. I might try to get in a quick nap. What time are you guys going to be there?"

"We probably won't be there until later in the day. I have a few errands to run. I'll let you go though. Try to get some sleep before you go help Brooke. We don't want you falling asleep on the job. I can't see Brooke being too happy about that."

"I'll try." Lucas laughed. "See you later, Hales."

"Bye, Luke."

Haley heard the click of the phone call disconnecting and put down the cordless phone. She turned her full attention back to breakfast. It wasn't long before she heard the sounds of small footsteps moving in her direction. "Morning momma."

Haley smiled at her son's voice. "Morning honey."

"Am I gonna be able to play with Jayden today?" He questioned as he climbed up onto the stool in front of the counter.

"Of course you'll be able to. Later today we're going over to your Aunt Brooke's store and she told me Jayden would be there too."

"Awesome." Jamie grinned at her. "What's for breakfast momma?"

"Banana pancakes." Haley replied as she started filling plates. "Why don't you go wake your dad up?"

"Okay!"

Haley watched as Jamie jumped down from the stool he had been sitting on, and ran up the stairs. It was a good morning, and it would be a good day. She could feel it. Things were falling into place for all of them.

_Forgetting all the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well  
__Pretending someone else can come and save me from myself  
__I can't be who you are  
__I can't be who you are_

* * *

_AN: Riddled with mistakes and slightly out of character. I know, I'm sorry. I just wanted to get this chapter up as soon as possible, because I know the next couple of chapters might take me a little while to finish and get posted, unless I'm hit with mass inspiration. I want to thank all of you who have read, reviewed, favourited, and alerted. I love you all! Hope you at least enjoyed some of this chapter. _


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